#shinso angst

[bigmooncheeks]

just a lil Shinso drabble that came to mind during work.

CN: sfw. a touch of angst. Shinso being a self-depracating silly, as usual.

Shinso doesn’t fall in love.

At least, that was what he told himself for all these years.

Maybe it was the weight of knowing he had a “villain’s Quirk”, but deep down somewhere… Shinso convinced himself that love was something he just wasn’t worthy of.

So he tucked those feelings, those longings into a box somewhere in his heart and carried on.

He focused his will on getting into U.A.’s Hero Course, then becoming a sidekick, and ultimately starting his own agency for underground heroes. 

And for all that careful planning and bitter work… nowhere in his plans did he account for the possibility that love would simply find him.

You, one of the dispatchers at his agency. That he knew the moment you walked in that something had shifted for him.

You, with your warm smile and twinkling laugh that left him feeling warmth in his chest.

You, whose little gestures always seemed to brighten up those particularly hard days.

It took time, of course. Shinso had years of practice to distance himself, keep himself away from others. But slowly, surely… you became a constant for him. You were safe. Sure. 

And without warning, he knew love had found its way into his heart.

[mrs-heelshire]

Hitting you with his quirk by accident : Shinso x F!Y/N

TW : Anger, tears, forced… 

I am already so sorry for that TvT But I hope you enjoy it !

The bell finally rang, classes were done for the day. Today was a heavy day with so much to learn. Aizawa gave the class a bunch of homework for the weekend, and you already knew you were going to drown over them. It was much, too much. Obviously, Denki was whining about this, with Sero echoing him. You, too, were complaining, but you were nice enough to keep it in your mind. 

“Y!N ! We are going to grab boba and do some shopping before going home, you want to come ?” Ask your Friend Mina, Uraraka, Jirou, Momo and Tsuyu with her.

God, yes you wanted to go with them, but you promised your boyfriend to spend the evening with him in his dorm to study and watch a movie after. Shaking your head, you smiled, rubbing the back of your neck.

“Not tonight Pinky, I’m going to spend the night with Shin. Let’s find some time on the weekend to hang out if the homeworks don’t kill us !” You answered. But seeing a smirk on your friend's face, you immediately add. “Not like that, you pervert !” 

Mina giggling, she nodded and waved at you, wishing you a good evening with your boyfriend as they left the classroom. You finished picking up your stuff before rushing to the 1B class. Shinso was just leaving the classroom when you got there. Monoma who was beside him tapped his friend back, saying something, before leaving him with you. Smiling at him, you give him a kiss with a big smile on your face. You loved him so much, and you knew that even if he didn’t show it that much, he was also truly in love with you. Well… that’s what you thought at this moment. 

“Do you have as many homework as we got ?” You asked, smiling at him.

“Yes, let’s grab something to drink at the cafeteria before.”

Several hours passed and it was now 9pm. You both were done with your homework and ate, but Shinso still wanted to continue and work on his classes for the next day. You, you had enough work for the day, you just wanted to hang out with the one you loved. But nope, Shinso was too focused to even notice that you were just staring at the empty, trying to find a way to distract him from his books. 

“Babe… are you done ?” You asked with a small voice.

“No, not yet. Let me finish this chapter and…” 

You didn’t give him the chance to finish his sentence when you took his book from his hands. Immediately looking back at you, the purple haired boy frowned his eyebrows looking at you. For sure, you were looking for trouble. 

“Are you serious ?! I need this to work on my next exam !” He screamed, making you flinch for this sudden raise of voice. 

It wasn’t like him at all to scream at you like that. You were surprised, but that didn’t stop you from screaming back at him. 

“You have been working for too long ! I’m bored, you didn’t even pay attention to me for so long !” You answered, frowning your eyebrows as well.

The two of you started to raise your voices, an argument started. He was worried about his grade, and you were telling him that there was no need to be, but… With the anger, you weren’t really nice with the way to say things. You don’t even remember why, but all of a sudden, things started to get out of hands as your boyfriend suddenly screamed :

“Well go fuck yourself !” 

But… the fact is... this IDJIT used his quirk without even noticing it. Still screaming back at you, it was only when you started to slide a hand inside your jeans, biting your bottom lips to keep yourself up from whining your pain as you slid two fingers in without any preparation, that he started to worry. Gosh. That was painful. It was so painful. Even if the two of you already did it, using no lube and doing it bare handed without even being wet downstairs wasn’t a good thing at all. You hurted yourself from the very first thrust, but you were unable to control yourself from moving your fingers. Starting to cry, you were scared that Shinso, your own boyfriend, did it knowingly. What if he wanted to do that to you ? What if… No, it can’t be true. Your boyfriend loved you, he’ll never mean to hurt you. It can’t be possible. 

Obviously it was an accident. He never meant to use his quirk. The purple haired boy was still screaming at you, rolling his eyes again and again. He didn’t notice it immediately. Unfortunately. It was only when a pain whine came to his ears that he froze. Looking back at you, he instantly knew what he had done. He must have… oh god.    

Thank god, he is quick to react.

“Stop !” He abruptly says, using his quirk. Consciously this time.

Your eyes were wet, you were hurt. Sitting on the bed, you sobbed, afraid that he did it because he truly meant it. But seeing him sitting next to you, rubbing your back with a worried face, you knew he never meant to do that to you. Seeing you like that, scared of him and hurt from his mistake, Shinso was so worried that you’ll leave him and that you’ll run away. If you ran away, he would never forgive himself, but he would totally let you go, not wanting to scare you more.

“Babe… I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to… I never will…”

Shivering, you leaned into him, sobbing. God, hearing you crying on his shoulder by his own fault was horrible. The purple haired boy was so mad at himself for what just happened. You, you didn’t know what to think about all of this. You knew he didn’t mean to, but… all, that was just too much to handle for your mind. Squeezing his t-shirt in your hand, you lifted your face to look him in the eyes. 

“Everything is fine… you are fine now… do you want me… to leave you…?” He sweetly whispered to you, his hand rubbing your back was shaking so hard.

Shaking your head, you tried to smile at him, only to give him the most awkward smile. Things will be awkward for a long time, both of you knew it, but none of you want to let the other down. You’ll need time to get over it. You’ll never forget, but you’ll get over it. Probably.  

[tommybaholland]

complicated  

featuring: shinso 

this has been sitting in the drafts for a minute but since he’s reappeared in the anime, this seemed like the perfect time to finish writing it. this is a bit of an expansion on what i wrote for shinso in “what they’re insecure about in the relationship.” it’s not much but i think it’s an interesting concept and i hope you enjoy it!

“wow! you can really make people do whatever you want!”

“there’s a lot of villainous things you could do with that!”

“don’t brainwash us, okay?” 

he’s heard it all before. every person he meets, without a doubt, have something to say about his quirk. he’s used to it by now but that doesn’t mean he’s not bothered by it. frankly, shinso didn’t want to know what they thought. on the other hand, he was cynical. what could one say about it that didn’t sound like a backhanded compliment?  

he figured if people really thought his quirk was powerful, then he could train to be a hero and show that he can use it to help people. prove everyone wrong, especially those with more physical quirks who think he shouldn’t train in the hero course. 

there were only two people who seemed to want to fight for his dream. 

this first being mr. aizawa. of all people, the teacher of class 1A of the hero course wanted to help him. the teacher didn’t sugarcoat shinso’s performance at the sports festival. rather, he commented on shinso’s potential in the hero course, given that he could relate to the lack of a ‘flashy’ combat quirk. shinso had been training hard to use the capture weapon, his mind flashing back to what mr. aizawa said when he first received it. 

“using support items doesn’t make you helpless or handicapped. just like those who have physical quirks use them as extensions of their own bodies, you have to think of it as your own extension.”  

that was probably one of the only real compliments he had received. 

then there was you. 

he met you back when he started at ua in the general studies course. he never looked forward to starting somewhere new, especially in a course that he didn’t apply for in the first place. meeting new people was just one part of it. 

it’s not that you were different. you knew how to respect boundaries. you didn’t say anything about his quirk but even then, it didn’t really matter because this wasn’t the hero course. people still asked. he didn’t see the point. 

you paid him attention in other ways. you were just as observant as him and it had him wondering if that was part of your own quirk. even if he didn’t know you had noticed what he was doing, you always had something to say about it. something that wasn’t a backhanded compliment, like how he could make things or fix things easily or in creative ways.

that made him really start to think the world of you. yet he still so lucky that you were dating him. you made him believe that his destiny wasn’t set and it wasn’t too late to become a hero. the day he told you he was going to try to move into the hero course, you couldn’t be happier for him. 

“i was hoping you’d do that!” 

“yeah. it’s kinda crazy that it’s all happening.”

“that’s great, toshi. i’m so proud of you.” 

he felt warm from all your kindness and support. however, he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling about you truly trusting him. he had been pretty transparent at this point about how he felt about other people and how he had been treated in the past. he was never looking for your sympathy but having you there to listen to him helped immensely. on the other hand, feeling this close to someone scared him. sometimes he wondered what would happen if he couldn’t control his quirk or something happens that compels him to do something bad to you or someone else. could he brainwash himself?

he sometimes wishes his feelings weren’t so complicated. 

“you trust me, right?” he asked, looking away. he knew the answer but he wanted to hear you say it.

“of course,” you replied without hesitation. “do you...think that i don’t?” 

“no, no. i just-- sometimes i feel like-- i don’t know.” he struggled to put it into words. or maybe he was just afraid of what would happen if he said it.

“what? what do you feel?”

he sighed. “i guess i just don’t trust myself very much and therefore i feel like you shouldn’t trust me even though you say you do.” 

“why shouldn’t i trust you?”

“i don’t know. i’ve just been thinking about training to be a hero and what if my quirk-- and it-- and something happens to you?” 

you nod in understanding. “i need you to do something that may help.”

“hm?”

“i want you to brainwash me, hitoshi.”

he looks over to you, incredulity written all over his face. 

“no. i can’t do that.”

he’s never used his quirk on any of his loved ones, the few that he has anyway. you were especially someone who he’d never want to control. it didn’t feel right to him. 

“that’s why i’m not asking you,” you reply bluntly. “i think you need to see how much i trust you but more importantly how much you trust yourself.” 

he was still in disbelief. “how do you know that this will help? what if it just causes more problems?”

“we’ll just have to see. but i know you wouldn’t do anything you’d regret.”

was this really something he had to do? this seemed so complicated. it was just another reason why he wonders how he was given this quirk. but you were right. it was already causing him doubt and mental block. something had to be done if he was planning to be a hero one day. 

he lets out one final sigh and nods. “okay.”

you grinned at him. “ready whenever you are.”

he heeds your words as the condition is met. in a split second your eyes go blank, leaving nothing but a vacant expression on your face, signaling that his quirk had you successfully in his mental hold. you sat there silently, waiting for a command. you were also very still, which surprised him a little. 

obviously, if he were using it on an unexpecting target, they’d be trying to fight it. even though you were voluntarily wanting to be brainwashed, he can’t imagine that it’s the most comfortable feeling in the world. he sat in silence with you for a few moments before speaking, his quirk still activated. 

“you can still hear me under my control but you can’t respond.”

another beat of silence as if he were expecting you to answer or nod. 

“come here.”

still under his control, you move closer to sit right next to him. he looks at your blank face, brushing some hair off your forehead before releasing you from his quirk. the beautiful color of your eyes returns, a slight gasp leaving your lips as you regain control of your own head. 

you grab the hand that’s caressing the side of your head looking down at it before your eyes meet curious purple ones. 

“are you okay?”

you nodded, the familiar grin returning on your face. 

“are you?” you returned as you leaned closer to him, your arms wrapping around his neck. 

he mimicked your response and nodded as his gaze shifted from your eyes to your lips. his arms wrapped around you as your lips connected in a slow, passionate kiss. 

it was emotional for you. hearing that he’s been hurt by all these thoughts and hoping that he would accept himself. you wondered if it was enough.

he brushed your cheek when you pulled away. your glossy eyes looked back into his, smiling at his presence. he returned the smile, something that you were hoping you would see. 

“you’re a good guy, toshi. you deserve to know that and everyone deserves to see that when you become a great hero.” 

that was the second time he had heard a genuine compliment. it wasn’t necessarily about his quirk but to him it was. 

“thank you, kitten,” he replied, hugging you tightly. he felt warm again but it felt like it was filling him to the brim. 

“i think i love you. a lot.” 

that was when your tears finally fell. 

out of everything in his life, you were the most uncomplicated. he had tangible feelings for you and they were something worth fighting for. he’s heard before that unconditional love is hard to come by. he can finally relax when he realizes he doesn’t need conditions to love you.

time for another bnha night! shinso says send requests here..