#shio's complaining

[sirshio]

No matter how strongly insecure I am about my writing Samuel and other fictional Jews, I won't be worse than a girl from KCD2 zine who wrote that European Jews cultivated the land.

[sirshio]

TW for mentioning violence, politics and genocide

Can anyone tell me why I feel guilty EVERY time something bad/tragic/etc. happens?

Someone of my family has problems with work? This is my fault. My country's government is atrocious? My fault. Some other politicians are fucked up? My fault. A genocide happened many decades ago? Still my fault! Doesn't matter I wasn't even born then.

[sirshio]

Why am I like that?

If anyone has a wrong or/and outdated knowledge, but they are willing to change it and ready to learn, I think that is a very important and genuinely good thing, because look, someone is eager to change something in themselves because they realized this something isn't a right thing (anymore)!

But if I am this person, then my thoughts are completely different and I think I'm an asshole with nonexistent knowledge.

Why the fuck my mind works like this? I do not want it to be this way anymore 💔

[sirshio]

First time I learned about Dakavendish was the day when I decided to watch a review from a videoblogger I like. He said that MML is a failed and boring show and these "pistachion guys" are similar to each other and have zero chemistry ("Even Carl and Major Monogram have more chemistry", said he). And despite I like (well, liked!) this dude, I was aware that he loves to search for weak spots and often can't say anything good about media he talks about. So I thought that MML is a decent series and wasn't opposed to idea I might watch it.

Second time I learned about them was when my bestie who is a fan of PnF decided to watch MML. She began to watch and to tell me things about the plot and The Gay Timetravelers. I thought this is really nice show, these timetravelers really are gay and I want to watch it.

Third time I learned about Dakavendish is when I watched the series itself. And literally no one said I will be so insane and not normal about them!!!

Now I can say that this blogger IS STUPID AS FUCK. Not get me wrong, I can understand that some people are just too heteronormative, but that doesn't excuse ANYTHING he said about Dakavendish! I don't know how it is possible to say they have zero chemistry and they are similar to each other! WHERE WERE YOUR EYES AND BRAINS ANIMANIAC

ZERO CHEMISTRY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

He had absolutely no respect for MML. I can understand that not everyone can ship homosexual ship that is not (explicitly) canon or at least see them as a ship that someone might like. I can understand that someone can dislike some media, it's perfectly okay. But this doesn't give you an excuse to seek out for weak spots and pretend that are no good spots. This doesn't excuse you to say that two characters have "zero chemistry" when one of them literally sacrificed himself thousands of times to save another (of course, there are a ton of other signs they deeply care for each other, but this is Animaniac we talk about). This doesn't excuse you to say they are similar to each other, when it's absolutely obvious they are so different. If you are doing this, you have no right to name yourself a "critic". You are someone who enjoys to hate media (for no reason) and the video you made is not a "review". Because when I watched his "review" I thought MML is... just okay, I guess, nothing good, nothing special.

/I watched that shitty "review" for a long time ago and I still can't get over it!/

I will fight for Dakavendish, Milo and the plot itself, I love them with all my heart. And I glad that I didn't believed Animaniac. First - because I am an independent human and tend not to blindly believe someone's opinion. Second - I already knew that this dude likes to mock and put down decent medias.

/Shio when will you calm down just let him go.../

[sirshio]

Me reading posts from asexual people: I don't belong to them.

Me reading posts from aromantic people: I don't belong to them.

Me reading posts from allosexual people: I don't belong to them.

Me reading posts from alloromantic people: I don't belong to them.

Being demisexual and demiromantic is quite sad because you're not seen in your own spectrums.

[sirshio]

Took me time to understand that the fact that I don't ship characters who are canonically aromantic and don't write/imagine sex scenes with characters who are canonically asexual* means that I am okay and don't bring aro- and acephobia into fandoms.

If nothing said about character's sexuality, anyone can make their own ideas about it. ANYONE. ANY ideas. There are NO ideas that are superior to other. You think this character is heterosexual? Okay, I think they are homosexual. You think this character is allosexual? Okay, I think they are demisexual. And etc., and etc. We BOTH have equal rights to think that. We both must do only two things: tag our content properly and do not blame each other.

*I know a character who is asexual, but loves to have sex with his boyfriend, so in his case I feel free to enjoy it too

[sirshio]

Me, a ficwriter: Oh no, I'm a foreigner, how can I accurately write about cultures that are not mine and people from them??

Authors who get paid for their writing: *using cultures as fucking decorations while heavily exoticizing them and being super racist and unrespectful*

Why am I like this????? Even when people from these cultures do tell me I'm doing great???

I keep thinking I'm doing basic minimum in my research, but it seems to me that my "basic" isn't actually fucking basic at all!

[sirshio]

Don't want to post my writing anywhere. Could've said "don't want to write", but I know I just can't stop writing.

There are tons of published works, fanfiction and original, why people would care about my works? They aren't so great or unique.