day 2, give it up for daaaaay 2 @ragehappyfemslash
fantasy barbelyse. theres fighting. smooching. good stuff
Being a princess sucked.
Ok, scratch that.
Being a princess was pretty good, all things considered, and Barbara thought it was maybe a little shitty to sit there and complain about how bad her life was when there were people who actually had bad lives but she could always admit to herself that being a princess was boring.
Because as she knew from the many balls had had to attend, being a prince was awesome. You got to ride horses, and learn how to fight, and do things other than sit around and look pretty. Not that she didn’t like looking pretty, because that was actually one of the upsides was constantly looking good, it was just tiring to have it be all she did.
Luckily for her, she wasn’t at all the type of girl to just sit back and let come what may.
“Elyse, sir, can we… talk?” Barbara asked cautiously, looking warily around the hall and pulling the knight to the side.
“Of course, my lady, what is it that you need?” Elyse kept her voice low, following the body language of the princess as they ducked into a corner.
“Can… could you teach me how to fight?” Barbara hissed, and Elyse laughed softly, a pretty little sound, especially coming from such a pretty knight, Barbara thought.
She absolutely picked Elyse over any other guard for a reason. A very specific reason, which was that she was absolutely the cutest girl Barbara had ever seen. Once, when she saw Elyse’s hair down while she was tending to her armor, Barbara knew she was well smitten with this girl.
It just so happened Barbara had devised a plan for them to spend a lot more time together.
“I… suppose I could, yes.” Elyse seemed a little taken back by the request, but wanted to please her lady as best she could. “Shall I get a training outfit for you? Wouldn’t want to ruin your lovely dresses.” Elyse smiled as she spoke, just the faintest amusement pulling at her lips.
“That would be preferable, yes.” Barbara blushed a little, smoothing out said lovely dress.
“Then I’ll see you on the training field at dawn, my lady.” Elyse bowed a little and started to saunter away.
“Dawn?!” Barbara hissed incredulously.
“It’s when I get up. Any later, and you’re just wasting time.” Elyse tipped her head and went back to her duties, leaving Barbara feeling very suddenly exhausted.
***
“Push back, my lady! Come for me!” Elyse shouted as they circled around each other, her hair falling from her tight braid into her face. “Drop low and move quick if yo want to hit me.”
“How am I meant to hit you?!” Barbara said, panting under the sun beating at her back.
“The simple answer, my lady, is to surprise me.” Elyse said, bouncing a little and laughing. She barely seemed to be exerting herself, and Barbara screwed up her face in frustration. She rushed Elyse, but she parried it neatly, moving out of her way and letting Barbara stumble to her knees. She offered her hand to help Barbara get up and she shook her head, pushing herself up.
“I can do some things for myself.” She grumbled, picking up her sword and brandishing it.
“You mustn’t show me your attack before you make it.” Elyse said, making Barbara groan.
“I don’t know what you mean by that.” Barbara whined, letting herself sound a touch petulant. Instead of a response, Elyse swiftly swiped Barbara’s legs out from under her, sending her crashing to the ground and pointing the tip of her sword at the princess’ throat.
“Strike quickly, do what they cannot see. You didn’t see that coming, did you not?” Elyse stuck out her hand again, and this time Barbara took it, groaning in pain as she rose to her feet slowly.
“You want me to surprise you, yes?” Barbara asked, and Elyse nodded, looking at her lady curiously. Barbara bit her lip, unsure if she actually wanted to—
She leaned in, pressing her lips against Elyse’s, ignoring the sweat and how chapped her own lips were. Elyse made a little startled noise, almost jumping until she dropped her sword and laid her hands very delicately on Barbara’s waist.
“Surprise.” Barbara whispered as she pulled back, breathless even for the chaste kiss. She pressed her nose against Elyse’s cheek, who just laughed and was just as breathless.
“I… I am very surprised.” Elyse murmured back, “Do that with a sword in your hand and you might just win.” She joked, watching as a grin split Barbara’s face.
“I never dropped my sword.” Barbara said, taking a swift step back and landing a solid strike to Elyse’s chest and sending her down to the dirt, coughing and spluttering with laughter.
“Well, my lady, you have beaten me, and I believe that calls for a bit of shade and a cool drink.” She took Barbara’s extended hand gratefully, smiling widely.
“I agree, because it’s far too hot to be doing this anymore.”
“Ah, if you truly want to fight, you must learn to suffer.” Elyse said musically, gathering the supplies and walking off.
“If you’d like to spend more time with me, you better learn to relax sometimes.” Barbara sighed, popping a couple buttons on the jacket of her practice outfit.
“And… will I be spending more time with you, my lady?” Elyse asked cautiously, turning back to Barbara and watching her.
“I would hope so. You’re very lovely to have around, for all sorts of different reasons.” All Elyse could do with that was smile, and hope that one of those reasons was kissing.
after a bout of nerves and self-consciousness, miles falls back. he gets a stern talking to by a few respective members of fahc and fakehaus.
what is done has been done for the best
though the mist in my eyes might suggest
just a little confusion about what I’ll lose
but if I started over, I know I would choose…
the fight continues to linger in miles’ brain. it’s been a couple of weeks since jeremy has come back and they’ve all made up and apologized, but it doesn’t stop miles from thinking about it over and over and over again. he can’t help but think of what adam said to him, what he really meant, how he really felt, and miles knows that deep down, it’s all true.
miles is a liability. he’s a distraction. he’s a ploy. he’s a trick. he’s useless. he’s careless. unnecessary, fights for the other team, he’s not one of them. so what in the hell is he doing? why is he sticking around? why are jeremy and adam even entertaining the thought that this can work out for all of them in the long run? why haven’t they just told miles the truth yet? the end of this is inevitable, it’s around the corner, it can happen any time, and miles just has to be ready.
after waiting around for two weeks, he decides he’s just going to do it.
it starts slow - him, falling away from the guys. he does his best to make them think he’s okay for now, but still starts to pick up extra shifts and work overtime at the station. the money doesn’t hurt (although jeremy’s been casually tossing out the idea of miles just ditching his apartment and alternating staying with them - as if that doesn’t sting more, as if that won’t get him into more trouble or put them at risk or something worse) and miles does have some serious work to do that he’d backlogged recently due to their reunion with jeremy.
just thinking about that time breaks his heart. a time where he only had kyle to fall back onto, but he still couldn’t express himself fully, lest he put all of jeremy and adam’s friends in danger. miles doesn’t have a group of friends like that, he doesn’t have a gang that’s promised to stick with him until the end of time, no matter what. he has kyle, the only trustworthy person he knows, and he’s stuck in a precinct full of bigger crooks and thiefs than the ones they’re “supposed” to be fighting.
the loneliness takes hold fast, but miles can be a pretty good actor once he puts his mind to it.
he starts denying invitations to adam and jeremy’s apartments. sporadically, at first, then uss the excuse that he has to stay home and get work done since they didn’t like the fact that he was at the station all the time and couldn’t get a real night’s sleep. this determination goes further than his stubbornness, than the one he dealt with when he and adam fought - this will go on for as long as it needs to. hopefully, he’ll just be transferred to another police station on another side of town, another part of california, anywhere just to stay away and keep them safe like he’s supposed to be doing.
miles goes out of his way to ensure that his apartment doesn’t look like a homeless person broke in and started living there. he keeps up with cleaning, has real food in his fridge, does his laundry, and everything that he needs to do to create the illusion that he’s fine, totally and completely fine.
adam and jeremy notice when it’s starting to become a problem. miles stays as neutral as possible whenever he thinks they’re going to confront him about it. but he’s doing it right, miles is doing just enough to make them think that everything’s fine, that they’re all fine, even though he’s pulling away faster than they know how to handle. it’s exactly what miles wants. soon, they’ll realize it’s what they want, too.
his routine is bland, boring, and his mind is a steady, numbing buzz that doesn’t go away. he volunteers to do menial office work, as long as it keeps him off the streets of possibly running into any of them, and he knows that there’s no way any of them are able to come and visit him at work. if he’s not out patrolling the streets with some free time to spare, or if he’s stuck at home doing paper work, who would suspect a thing?
well, some people start to suspect - more than just jeremy and adam.
a surprise visit from michael and jack at his apartment on a wednesday night is certainly not what he was expecting, but it’s what he gets.
it seems like everyone and their mother know how to break into his apartment, since miles had no idea anyone was even here until they open his supposedly locked front door and hurriedly stands from his couch to look over. michael storms in with rage while jack follows close behind, although not nearly as hostile as the former.
once the front door shuts with a resounding click, michael goes off. “listen, detective, i don’t know what your fuckin’ deal is, but you better get your shit together or we’re gonna have some serious problems.”
miles holds his hands out to the side, bewildered. “can i ask why the hell you two broke into my apartment first?”
“don’t play stupid, luna,” michael growls, “you know exactly what you’re doing and so do i, so does jack, so does every fuckin’ one of us except jeremy. because, for some reason, he thinks that you would never do something like this.”
his throat constricts at the statement. as dangerous as jeremy is, he does his best to see the good in everyone he’s assumed to consider a friend, or perhaps someone more. jeremy gives people chances. he probably shouldn’t have, not with miles, but he did. damn him. “i really don’t know what you’re talking about,” miles replies back, tone already irritated, “so now, if you don’t mind, i’d like you both to get out of my apartment and let me get back to work.”
“miles,” jack says softly, her sweet voice piercing through the intensity in the air that is michael’s rage. she comes closer to stand beside michael, putting her hand on his shoulder, and miles waches as michael visibly deflates a bit just because of jack’s calming touch. “i don’t know what’s going on with you and jeremy and adam, but there’s something. you should know by now that jeremy tells us almost everything. so when he tells us that you’ve just been… drifting away, what else are we supposed to think?”
“god, i don’t know, that maybe i’m a working detective for the city that you guys cause havoc in on a daily basis?” miles snaps. michael immediately tenses up again, taking a step forward to retaliate miles’ words, but jack’s hand on his shoulder tightens and he stays still. “some time apart isn’t going to kill us. hell, it may even be better. i’m trying to help you guys out, so maybe some gratitude would be appreciated.”
“gratitude? you want gratitude?” michael questions, voice getting higher. “yeah, we’re so fuckin’ glad that jeremy’s sulking around the goddamn base like he lost his puppy. we’re real thrilled that he and adam can barely hold a conversation without it being real fuckin’ clear that all they wanna do is talk about you! but they can’t because you’re here, bein’ a goddamn dickhead, and they miss you!”
miles’s jaw clenches and he can feel himself grinding his teeth. the impending headache isn’t far away, but miles stands his ground. “i’m working,” he levels stiffly. “what i do in my own, personal time is no one’s business but mine.”
“you made it our business when you started fuckin’ around with those two,” michael hisses.
anger flares in his chest. miles wants to lash out wildly and scream that no, michael’s wrong, he didn’t want this - he didn’t want the two men he happened to fall head over heels for were both in the most popular gangs of los santos while he’s sworn his duty to protect the same city. he never asked for this and he never would. but it’s what he’s got and he’s got to deal with it in his own goddamn way, whether it’s to dig himself in deeper or to start climbing out. miles will make his own choice.
jack starts carefully tugging michael back towards the door. “c'mon, michael, let’s go,” she softly urges, hand moving down to grab his bicep so she can move them both. “they’ll figure it out one way or another, we can’t do anything else.”
michael huffs out a frustrated breath, eyes still locked with miles, who’s standing still right near his couch, eyes unwavering. michael looks like he wants to say more, but all he does is shake off jack’s hand and storms out of miles’ apartment without one more glance back. jack is the one who does look back at miles, but his expression doesn’t change.
the door falling shut behind her feels more like a goodbye than anything else.
another twisted turn of events brings bruce greene and miles luna to the same coffee shop right near the precinct.
miles is always a bit sparse with his meals lately. since he doesn’t smoke, he’s been using coffee to supress his appetite when he can’t bring himself to even think about making a meal. on overnight/overtime break, miles heads to the 24-hour coffee shop and takes a seat at one of the small tables with a sigh.
“mind if i sit here?” a voice asks above him while miles fiddles with his phone. before miles can even pick his head up to answer that yes, he does mind, he just kind of wanted to be alone, but thank you, his voice falls him as his eyes meet bruce’s. “detective luna,” bruce greets with a nod and a tip of his coffee cup, similar to miles’.
“what do you want?” miles sighs, as if that’s all he’s got left in him. he’s been working far too hard recently - with overtime, late nights, lack of sleep, minimal eating, plus another long list of issues - that he doesn’t have the time or energy to call in for back-up since the leader of fakehaus is sitting right across from him.
bruce takes a careful sip of his hot beverage before he answers. “what do i want,” he repeats back, letting out a sigh of his own. “god, loaded question, don’t you think?”
“could be simple,” miles replies with a shrug, “and quick. so you can… get going where you gotta go.”
“simple answers are always nice,” bruce nods in agreement. his fingertips tap against his cup and he barely gives miles’ time before he confronts him about it. “here’s a simple question that’s looking for a simple answer: what the fuck did you do to adam and jeremy?”
bruce’s voice is about as neutral as it can be, but still threatening nonetheless. this chills miles more than michael and jack breaking into his apartment, although that was already pretty messed up. bruce found him (followed him?) into a popular place and miles is sure he already has several different ways of escaping, if need be.
“i’ve just been working a lot,” miles confesses, gesturing to his blue uniform. “now, if you’ll excuse me, i was enjoying my lunch break alone.” his eyes trail back to his phone, but it doesn’t stop bruce from talking.
“there’s no excuse for a child who’s stuck in a man’s body, trying desperately to figure out what the hell he’s doing in a world like this because he knows he doesn’t fit in,” bruce snaps, although his voice is still clear as day. “have you ever considered the fact that adam - maybe even jeremy - doesn’t want you to fit into this world? it’s dangerous, miles, and you can get hurt.”
“i’m a detective for the los santos police department,” miles pointedly states, “i think i know i can get hurt.”
bruce scoffs. “yeah, but you idiots have rules. out there, there are no rules. there’s nothing. there are only two things you can do: fight or die.” he pauses for a moment, letting miles sink it in as he pretends to stare and scroll through his phone. “i know adam wants to fight. i’ve known that guy for more than half of my life and he may seem like a lot of things, but i know adam is a fighter. he wants to fight for me, for our team. he wants to fight for jeremy and his team. and for some inane reason, he wants to fight for you, and what the three of you all have.”
miles’ eyes shoot up to meet bruce’s, even though he tries to keep himself on the defensive side of it all. he opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. there’s so much he wants to say, how to explain to bruce how much of a bad idea this all is and how it’ll blow up in everyone’s face. there’ll be too many people telling adam and jeremy i told you so like a bunch of children. it’ll hurt, deep down to the core, and it’ll take a long time.
miles doesn’t know how long he’ll last through that time.
“i’m more of a danger than anyone else,” miles comments. it’s meant to be a broad, wide-variety statement, and bruce nods in agreement. this is a discussion that’s been had several times and miles knows that everyone would agree with him - it’s just easier that way.
“how about you let adam and jeremy make that decision instead of making it for them, hm?” bruce questions, tapping the table twice with his knuckles before he pushes himself back up. “no matter what you think, it’s not your choice to decide what’s good or bad for them. trust me,” brue chuckles lightly, “i’ve tried for years to tell adam what to do, and look at him now.”
the soft jab makes the corner of miles’ tug for a fleeting moment, but he still doesn’t say anything. bruce doesn’t either. he’s said his piece and now he’s gone, letting the small jingle of the coffee shop be the last noise of bruce greene for the night, knowing he won’t be able to find him if he tried.
throughout the next week and a half, miles thinks a lot about this. but… at the end of the day, what’s there to think about when the people you’re looking for answers from aren’t around?
miles texts their group message with a simple come over and it’s barely fifteen minutes before they’ve arrived.
the second miles opens the door, jeremy crashes in like a wave and completely engulfs miles in his arms as tight as he can. adam, not too far behind, gets a better angle to get into the hug, but they stand still like that for a while. it feels too good, too natural to be standing here like this with the people that matter the most.
the night’s long and filled with soft sounds and all the right words, but not the ones at the time. they don’t want this to sit and fester and stew, not again.
“talk to us, miles,” jeremy pleads after all is said and done. his voice is tender, muffled due to the way his mouth is pressed to the dip of his neck towards his collarbone. “don’t let this happen again. tell us what you’re feeling, that’s what we’re here for.”
miles turns his head to press his nose into the colored locks. “i’m sorry,” is all he can whisper. “i don’t know what to say. i fucked up.”
“we all fuck up,” adam tells him, running his left hand up and down the softer parts of miles’ stomach. “but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix it. at least try and talk it out before you attempt to leave us again.”
it’s supposed to be funny, part of adam’s dry sense of humor, but it only makes miles nauseous. “i’m sorry,” he whispers again, voice cracking.
“so are we,” jeremy says, his body starting to relax and fall into a deep sleep.
adam’s not too far behind. miles feels both of their soft breathing against his skin. sleep comes easy for him this time around. there’s still the small, tiny inkling in the back of his brain, but it’s quelled for now, thanks to his boys.
tomorrow is a new day.
…the same joy, the same sadness each step of the way
that fought me and taught me that friends never say
never say goodbye
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