#shiteanswers

[writeshite]

Reader: *blasting away a bounty hunter* "You think you'd have given up by now, Lobo."

Lobo: *knocking a rival hunter aside* "Baby, come on. You know I'm gonna haul you in one of these days."

Reader: *dodging* "You haven't managed it yet."

Lobo: "You know I'll make it worth your while! I got these cuffs all nice and pretty for you...."

Reader: "Oh, you're so sweet. I can't wait to see how they look on you."

Lobo: "Baby, that's not fair. You know I can't resist when you talk like that--"

Kara: *knocking aside a whole group of hunters* "YOU GUYS HAVE THE WEIRDEST RELATIONSHIP"

Sometimes I think about what Lobo would do if someone else was hired to get the bounty on Reader 🤔

[writeshite]

Reader and Lobo having a strange cat and mouse relationship - Lobo is trying to capture Reader for his bounty, Reader is constantly trying to evade him, but also they kiss sometimes--

[writeshite]

Reader: "Do you think it would be weird to like...ask for his number?"

Kara: "The big, unhinged, possibly homicidal, hulking bounty hunter trying to capture us? You know, it's difficult to say."

Reader: "Okay, fine, sarcasm noted. I'm just saying, he's so...rugged..."

Kara: "I say this with love - you have terrible taste in men."

Now if Reader is part of Lobo’s bounty 👀 I know he’s praying to get caught

[writeshite]

Villain!Reader: "I'm telling you, Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

Minion: "Oh, come on, Boss, that's a little far-fetched. Why'd you think that?"

Villain!Reader: *fantasised about Batman's jawline so much that they definitely noticed Bruce Wayne's is the exact same*

Villain!Reader: "I...well...that...I just do!"

Minion: "....riiiiiiiiiight."

The idea of Bruce getting found out as Batman cause Reader is thirsting that hard sends me everytime 😭

[writeshite]

Okay hear me out - Reader and Omni-Man are in the Viltrumite prison and the Viltrumite decide "Nolan failed us, but is still useful as a stud horse" and toss them in a cell together, pumping it full of pheromones and basically told to "get fucking"

A guard later comes in to check, and Nolan and Reader are seemingly too distracted screwing like rabbits to notice...until he turns his back, and Nolan immediately kicks him through the wall

Nolan and Reader then escape and basically agree "let's never talk about this again"

I know that prison cell is ruined this is how I find out what a stud horse is 💀

[writeshite]

Odin: "I hear by call this Parliament of Pantheons into session--"

Zeus: "I believe that's my job--"

Odin: "Well, if you want something done correctly--"

Heimdall: "Psst. Has anyone seen Thor?"

Loki: "....um--"

Thor and Reader: *having skipped the meeting and are preoccupied making wild, passionate love*

(The AU where Thor and Reader are just two deities from different pantheons who just want to fool around, damn it--)

I know everybody is sick of them 😭 they can’t be in the same room for five minutes without eye fucking

[writeshite]

Reader with illusion powers gets bored while waiting for Peacemaker to meet him for a job, and creates a mirage of man candy to entertain himself, accidentally exposes his totally not crush on Peacemaker when he does arrive--

Peacemaker: "...you need some time alone?"

Reader: "Oh, shut up, I just wanted something nice to look at while you took your time arriving."

Peacemaker: "Look, traffic was...why does that one look like me?"

Reader: "What? No, it doesn't--" *looks up to realise the illusionary hunk he's currently relaxing in the lap of actually is Chris* "...fuck."

I forgot how much I love Chris (also I feel like I answered this ask or something similar, istg Tumblr keeps eating my asks 😭)

[writeshite]

I don't get why the lack of Thor love either, gimme pretty thunder man now pls--

He's so pretty and cute and like there's barely any AUs for him too 😭