ChitaHitsu Poem #2, 'Try My Best'
A little birthday gift for gigapig-senpai. >w< I hope you enjoy~
The path to justice was the only one I could ever think of. At least, before I came here it was. You were part of that, I thought, but you weren’t, in the end.
I wanted nothing more than justice; I wasn’t an assassin, a killer. When I met you, I saw someone I wanted to protect
You were precious, with far too much faith in me and far too little doubt. You liked me. I got that, at some point. I liked you too.
Justice has a way of being cruel, though, and it will break you, I learnt. Justice is nothing if noble; and only nobility knows not the joy of being selfish. Unfortunately, I wanted to be noble. Didn’t you see me as a prince?
I wanted to be that prince for you. To take your hand, guide you, lead you forever. But as it turns out, you were the one leading me on.
Up until that moment, I thought I wanted justice just as badly as I had before. Yet, you took that knife and I wanted to take it too. The poison was a poor substitute.
Even now, as I’m still recovering from your toxicity, I can’t help but feel connected. Addiction never ceases, and you are the most alluring of drugs. Even if you’re toxic, I still want to protect you.
I couldn’t breathe in your noxious fumes, for a little bit. I wanted justice, justice, justice, nothing more. Yet when I sent a casual look, a casual glance in your direction, that would change, and I would feel it all over again.
That’s why I’ll take your hand, even now. You’re not a dandelion, you’re a moonflower. And I still want you. Close, but never touching you stayed. So I bridged the gap.
For the first time, justice wasn’t the only path I wanted. To be selfish, that was something I’d never considered. I couldn’t forgive you, or myself. But if you want to change yourself, I’ll change too. I’ll try my best.
