#shitty sleep chronicles

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Alrighty, here we go.

Wednesday night, the bunnies that fuck are upstairs, and I’ve had:

1 Imperial Pint of a 6.5% American Pale Ale

3 standard pints of a 8.5% Belgian Style Strong Ale

2 - 125mg Ashwagandha capsules

2 - 375mg Magnesium Glycinate tablets

35 drops of a THC/CBD tincture, 5 drops is the recommended dose

2 - 10mg Indica gummies that are designed to help one sleep

I’m either going to pass the fuck out and not hear anything, or I’m going to yell obscenities from my bed through the ceiling/floor above. All with the hopes that they figure out this whole sexy time thing, and go to sleep like normal humans. Or else, I go on a murderous rampage, with my Japanese steel kitchen knives.

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It’s a miracle!!!!

Guys!!! I actually got some solid sleep last night.

The best part was I wasn’t dead drunk, not even slightly buzzed, AND I only took one ashwagandha capsule. So at 9:30 - because after 4 days without much sleep- I crashed. I briefly woke up at 10:35 with that confused feeling and of course had to pee (old age really sucks).

The even better part happened at 12:53 AM, when the bunnies came home a little loud and frisky. By 1:20 I could hear that one of them was vomiting. So I nudged the wife awake and yelled out: “HA-HA, NO FUCKIE FUCKIE FOR YOU!!!!” They’ve been asleep without a sound ever since.

So now I’m contemplating blasting either some Ministry or KMFDM while I make some breakfast.

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One and Done!!!

One and done!!!! Everybody say it with me…

Apparently the bunnies upstairs only did it that one time. Next we heard a lot footsteps back and forth, and voices. At first we thought they were fighting but nope.

She was complaining about how hot it was. He was packing a bag. By 11:00, they had left. I was lucky enough to fall asleep at 10:30, so good restful sleep was had.

We won’t discuss the stress dreams I’ve been having. Pretty sure that I’m throwing punches in my sleep, then wake up. I’m also having recurring dreams involving an invoicing error that doesn’t exist, and I can’t fix. I wish I was having sexy dreams, but alas here we are.

Maybe someday again. If not, at least let me keep this fictional $632K I keep dreaming about.

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All Good Things Must End

So it goes. It’s 9:35pm and we can hear the bunnies fucking upstairs. She had just got here at 9.

Now, the question is will I be tired enough to sleep through it all later on through the night?

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Nine Times….9x

I’ve accomplished something I don’t think I ever have in my adult life. Nine (9) nights in a row of good sleep.

I’m convinced that Loverboy’s®️ apartment is just too hot for him and his GF to have the fuckie-fuckie there anymore. Either that or he hasn’t cleaned the place in a while. Anyway I look at it, it’s a bonus not having to hear them 5-6 times a night.

I wonder if some other neighbor that shares a bedroom wall with him complained. Or better yet, pounded on the wall.

Part of me wishes that The Wife™️ and I would have some of the rampant sex we used to. That way he could hear what a real female orgasm sounds like. Sadly, I know that’s not going to happen. It’s a shame, because it would probably relieve some of my depression as well. Possibly even get me to drink less.

But no.

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Perhaps I shouldn’t say this, but…

Guys, I might be on the brink of Six Nights in a row, of good sleep.

The upstairs neighbor, coincidentally labeled as “Loverboy” by The Wife™️ has been ironically absent all day today.

Either his GF is testing him on his ability to comfort her during an especially bad period. Or he is working 12-16 hour days and crashing at her place.

No matter the origin, I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Now, if that gift horse could bring along some other party favors, I would not object. Sigh. Yeah Jeff, it’s not going to happen.

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And then this happened…

With the exception of getting up once, yours truly slept for approximately 8 hours last night. All without the aid of any of the usual suspects.

It was amazing. I haven’t been able to do that in years.

Maybe things are going to be okay? Maybe the world is going to change? Or implode? Perhaps everything will fall into place at the exact time that it needs to?

Or maybe it won’t.

I really don’t fucking care because I’ve had 4 nights in a row of good sleep.

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This One’s Optimistic…

So one of two things happened last night. Either a) the concoction of supplements, ale, and cannabis put me into a deep sleep. Or b) there’s a monthly visitor with the bunnies upstairs.

She’s been here since about 8:30 last night, and not once did we hear anything. Last night I slept almost 6 hours and heard nothing, until clunking footsteps at 4:15 this morning. Apparently, he didn’t go to work at the usual time.

Either way, I’ve had three (3) nights in a row of good sleep. IN A ROW!!!!

That’s called a streak, and the number one rule is don’t fuck with a streak.

The espresso tastes extra good this morning.