Mothers judging Mohters
This entry is going to be hypocritical. Just saying. You’ve been warned.
SMALL BORING INTRO
I’m a stay at home mom, with friends who are working, not yet married, and not yet with kids. I am bored, and need an outlet. No, none sexual kind. I am sick of trying to make friends with other moms, it’s just not working they are bitches. Do I need people to follow and and comment on my Tumblr? Absolutely not, which is why i don’t even promote this damn thing. It’s actually exactly why I am here. Freely talking about my insecurity.
INTRO END
The worst thing about being a mom is the straight up annoying people around you. Seriously. You will never be as tired as when you become a mom. Ever. A marathon? a triathalon? Please. It’ll end in a matter of days. Being a mom, the days never end. Ever. The sleep deprivation, the feeling of confinement, the crying, the husband needing attention - who is also helping, though; the feeling that you’re ugly. All that rolled up into one giant mess of a woman who has to breastfeed with bleeding nipples on cue.
Then a person come up to you and tell you: that’s not how you’re suppose to do it.
It all started very simple when my baby had a rash. Then someone said: you should use diaper cloth. The non disposable diaper which will not absorb baby’s urine nicely and make her feel wet. She will then wake up after just 15 minutes of sleep and I have to change her and put her to sleep all over again. Also, when can I have time to clean those diapers? When can I have sleep?
Then little by little they would say something, anything, and after a while it feels like they’re just doing it to make me look bad. Here’s a list:
1. You should shave your baby’s head 2. You should make sure your baby sleep on her own bed 3. Babies are happier when they sleep with you 4. They should be eating purees 5. Finger food will make them choke 6. They don’t eat enough? 7. Why are they not gaining weight? 8. Why are they not social enough? 9. What time is she sleeping? 10. Have you taught her table manner? 11. How often do you bathe her? (No, she is not smelly, obv.) 12. Why is she watching this on tv? That’s inappropriate. (She was 4 months old, watching a musical with girls dancing around, it keeps her calm) 13. You should do cry it out method. 14. Don’t do cry it out method. 15. What is she eating today? 16. She shouldn’t be wearing those sandals. 17. Take those shoes off, it’s a little too big, it makes her too lazy to walk.
The list goes on.
For me, I have enough having other people judging and telling me what to do. MOMS, PLEASE, STOP.
Every babies are different and they need different ways to be raised. Please stop assuming that your way is the best way. My daughter needs to sleep at 8.30, because if she sleeps earlier than that, she would wake up at around 10pm and struggle to put herself back to sleep. It’s her body clock. I’m working on it but it takes a while, because she too have big needs for naps in the afternoon.
The biggest most common thing I hear about Moms judging other moms are between those of working moms and stay at home moms. Ladies, please, you cannot generalise that one is better than the other. Some stay at home moms have babysitters and they practically do nothing. Some working moms bring work home and confuse as to why their children are so naughty. Generally children who are trying to disturb their parents need their parents. Some stay at home moms are very good with educating their children. Some working moms are heroes because they do both work and raise amazing children.
Here’s my hypocritical part:
The other day I was in my daughter’s play group and there was a mom I haven’t seen before. She looked at me with that judging look. I wonder why. I politely introduced myself and as soon as she told me her name, she also explained how she was a working mom, which was why she almost never come to her daughter’s play group. Then I asked her if she is working today, and she said she sneaked out from work to be here. At this point my daughter was dragging me to help her climb, and play with the toddler gym equipments (she goes to tumble tots). After a while I realise that the so-called working mom wasn’t doing anything other than sitting next to the other moms, talking, while her daughter was being assisted by her babysitter. It makes me wonder: why in the world would you skip your work to make conversation with other mom, instead of spending some quality time with your daughter?
Look, yea I know I said no judgement. But some people deserve it. Why? Because she made that judging eyes ate me! So, yea, there you go.
What kind of society are we going to be with a much-holier-than-thou attitude? Have faith. Or at least try. I am. Which was why I tried to be polite and introduced myself instead of punching her in the face.
It’s an illness. This society have. But that’s for another entry.
