Advice on Natalie’s monologue from “Like Dreaming, Backwards”
Q. “...How did you imagine her being? For example did you imagine her still in shock, regularly talking? Also who is she talking to ? A therapist? Another friend? ...”
A. I would say that shock is a key element, but the primary feeling she's experiencing is guilt. Irrational but paralyzing guilt.
The play really leaves it open-ended, who those monologues (Natalie's, Yale's, and Leah's). Different directors have staged them differently - some have had those three people talking to each other, perhaps sharing a coffee at the end of the memorial service, some have staged them sitting in a circle, as though they are speaking at a grief support group, others have taken a more meta approach, deciding that they are talking directly to the actual audience, or that they are internal monologues made audible. All of these are valid approaches.
I would say that since you're just performing the monologue on its own, it's probably best to avoid meta and decide something concrete, such as, she's speaking for the first time at a grief support group meeting. Whatever you decide works best for you is fine with me.
Break a leg!