Hole; A taboo
It is already 11 in the evening, and I am holding the man that I really care in my arms. Not planning on letting him go.
Him: Hey. *laughs* I really need to sleep.
Me: Hey.
Him: Yeah?
Me: Is it okay? To hold you like this, I mean.
I hugged him tighter. I do not want him to be out of my sight. I want us to be like this, forever.
Him: You can hug me like that always.
Me: Yeah right. *loosen my hug* good night.
Him: *Kisses me in the cheek and forehead* good night, Marsh. I love you.
I did not respond. I think he is lying. He knows we cannot hug each other like that. He knows we cannot have each other. I think we are in grave full of living. Sometimes, I am thinking maybe if we hadn’t been so close, I would not fall into this hole. The hole that is already big to get out easily.
Him: Hey? Are you okay?
I’m not okay. I do not know where did I go wrong to be in this path. But I know I’m one of the contributors to this consequence.
Me: *Forcibly nod* Yeah. Just a bit tired, good night. Love you.
He kiss the back of my hand and silently close the door for him to not get caught being with me. At the end, I have no choice. I get myself in this hole, and now I need to get out by myself.
