“Today has been such a crazy fucking day and honestly,I’m loved every second of it. Now to get ready for christmas and maybe a secret show back home. Anyways I’m Derek and I love the holidays.”
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“Today has been such a crazy fucking day and honestly,I’m loved every second of it. Now to get ready for christmas and maybe a secret show back home. Anyways I’m Derek and I love the holidays.”
“What’s everyone gonna be doing on New Years eve? I need something to do.”
raven ⇆ open.
raven: is it acceptable to just wear an american flag wrapped like a towel today
raven: freedom
“ so at work this morning, this lady came in looking more hungover than the irish after motherfucking saint patty’s day.which, yeah was relatable and all, but i was taking her order, you know, since i actually was doing my job for once---but then all of the sudden she won’t stop looking at me in the eye, you know, and next thing you know her shirt’s about three inches lower and she’s fucking winking, wining. she looked old enough to be my mom. but that’s not the worst part. after that she leaned across the counter and whispered, remember me? right into my goddamn ear. i guess i met her last night--i guess that would explain the lilac hand sanitizer i found in my jacket this morning. “
‘ so the head cook at work ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ angel ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ his last day was today. i brought him cupcakes, but it’s sad to see him go ; mostly because his name makes me think of buffy. ’
“ so today i did this one couple’s wedding photography, and i never truly believed in the myth of the bridezilla until now. i honestly don’t know how the groom didn’t take that last chance and run for the church doors. weddings are already my least favorite things to shoot for, and today’s lovely experience bumped them down even lower on the list. i keep making myself available for this kind of shit so that way i’ve got, y’know, money coming in, but at this rate i think i’m just going to begin looking into gentlemen’s clubs that are currently hiring. be sure to stop by and throw me a few dollar bills, yeah? ”
❛ ———– i’ve wasted so much of my day playing basketball on facebook messenger. wish i had never been told that this was a thing. ❜
“today, a fly flew into my eye and another one flew into my nose like, ten minutes later. if you need me, i’ll be hiding in my apartment with the windows shut for the rest of the summer.”