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he Board Is Set Wednesday, Jun 4, 2008 - 1:55am PST | Comic Posted by: Brew

Duurrrh….

The other day I was surfing through cyber space looking for anything interesting, and I wandered past a little known site called “MSN”. You’ve probably heard of it; although if you haven’t, you’re not missing anything. Anyway, I was caught by one of their headlines as it scrolled across the page; the graphic displayed the following:

In case you’re curious, the answer to the question is, “Yes”. Today’s generation of modern world children have access to limitless resources that were barely even imaged only ten years ago. Yet kids are turning out dumber, more now then ever before in the history of history; that’s a fact supported by God himself. Something apparently went wrong with the Generation Y and late Generation X crowd. Maybe we can blame everything on the introduction of the cell phone, the iPod, or other such gadgets “kids” these days seem to have surgically attached to their bodies.

Kids don’t know how good they’ve got it. For Christ sake, when *I* was growing up, to turn in a successful book report in school I actually had to read the synopsis on the back of the book and the last chapter if I wanted to fabricate anything half-way believable. Now all kids gotta do is Google the damn title or look it up in Wikipedia; as long as they have a thesaurus handy, they can’t lose.

What about the toys that kids play with these days, like Legos? Back when I was a kid you had to use your imagination to build anything. Now everything comes in pre-designed sets with custom pieces; as long as any idiot can follow directions, they can build what’s on the box. I bet that’s what it’s all about too… “following directions”. Even the corporate powers behind Lego are pushing kids toward conformity by dumbing down the creativity required to build with their blocks.

And what about the finances of the future for the children? Well, with the current US government spending money we don’t have on military programs we don’t need and on wars we don’t want; the future financial foundation of America seems a bit unstable.

But that’s okay; times change, cultures evolve, political powers wane. The kids of today may not understand the ramifications of talking on a cellphone while crossing the street as they’re unaware of the Escalade rolling through the crosswalk while the driver drinks his latte as he’s sending a text message on his SmartPhone, oblivious to the 1-in-3 obese children he’s about to run over…. I guess there should have been a counter-point to that run-on sentence, like “the kids of today have this, but at least they have that”; but what’s the point? I’ve thought kids were in a bad way since I was one; and I don’t see the intellectual trends of society changing anytime soon.

#msn #wikipedia #ipod #shredded moose

Detour pt.2 Monday, Jun 2, 2008 - 2:00am PST | Comic Posted by: Brew

Say What?

You guys see this…?

You believe that crap? It’s freakin’ ridiculous how poor Sue Simmons was forced at gun point to release an apology because she said “fuck” on the air. Now, if I have my penalties and fines correct, the FCC just charged NBC around $325,000 for that single slip of the tongue. “We need to acknowledge an unfortunate mistake…that fell out my ass!” Go hang around any grade-school playground in America and hear for yourself just how many “mistakes” happen every day. The only thing that makes sense for the News to “apologize” about is that someone screwed up the mic feed and the audio bled over between their precious segments.

Listen, I know yearning for common sense in the public sector is moot. That censors, regulators, legislators, and manipulators enjoy glossing over our reality by pretending that if you don’t see or hear something, then it will go away and everything will be filled with fairytale goodness.

If you ask me, when it comes to mobilizing in the face of a national emergency; like the way the FCC mobilizes in response to profanity and “indecency”. Organizations like FEMA should just pay attention to how the FCC handles emergencies and people will forget about days of Katrina. Kinda like how FEMA forgot about New Orleans.

Anyway, kids don’t cuss because when you do, it makes Baby Jesus Cry.

#fcc #fema #shredded moose #furry #squirrel

Detour Friday, May 30, 2008 - 1:51am PST | Comic Posted by: Brew

Oh, the Humanity!

This is my second post since I’ve rearranged my life with this accursed moving process. Already I don’t feel like writing anything beyond this current sentence. But look at that, now I’ve gone and started a third sentence; odds are pretty good I won’t be finished here. See, I’m still writing… and you’re still reading; let’s find out if this continues….

It does! Man, I miss the days when I fully embraced the bachelor lifestyle; everything I owned fit in my car with passenger room to spare. Then somewhere along the way, I got an idea in my head that it made sense to purchase furniture. I guess I had forgotten that if you own furniture, you’re going to have to move the furniture when it’s time for a change of residence.

I’ve joked with my friends before but, honestly, throwing everything in the front yard, setting fire to it, and driving away seems like a more attractive option with every day I pack things, load them onto a truck, and transport them to their new destination. For instance, I don’t know whose idea it was to buy a five hundred pound wooden desk. I’m even less sure of whose idea it was to keep it. It sure as hell wasn’t mine because I remember how much I hated moving it the *last* time I moved to a new place. It must have been Russians’ idea….

Thank god I don’t have to move it up or down any stairs. Maybe I should sell off all my furniture; from now on I’ll only purchase things in size and quantity that can fit in my car. I’ll go back to the way things *used* to be.

God damn am I freakin’ tired; today makes the fifth day in a row I’ve devoted over sixteen hours to this moving / house-fixing thing. That’s two houses to fix up remember? The new one and the old one… man, I haven’t played any video games in like four whole days, and I’m starting to feel deficient. Maybe I’ll squeeze in some time with GTA4 tonight, relax a little before going to bed and continuing this whole thing again in the morning.

#GTA V #moving #moving and relocating #shredded moose