10 days and it hit me how much frustrating this all is now. How isolation have sucked all my will to live.
I tell you what i miss the most? driving.
I’m simple-minded, independent. I only want to drive outside, sip on my iced coffee and my day is already amazing.
it’s this smallest pleasure i have in my life, i have no intention of dying but as soon as i’m out—i’ll drive, drive away—drive up to 120 or more km/hr on a highway only because I love it. Is it because i dream life too simply? I’ve been reading about law of assumptions lately and says that i’m the God of my reality and that anything, literally anything is possible. Do I dream too little that’s why? I don’t know why I can’t dream that big. I’m in my head the whole day—floating away, then falling asleep—then floating away again.
I just want to breathe. I feel so suffocated. It’s driving me crazy already.
i asked for a sign, shuffled my playlist and i asked—if wherever he is, can the universe tell me something—in 3 consecutive songs, tell me something i whispered. i laughed at the first one when it played, ‘live like we’re dying’. Fits perfectly, but I’m already dying. The second one being, ‘solo’ with lyrics that says—“I see love affairs everywhere but no one will do but you” and last, to my surprised it played the song, “marry me” when I don’t even have this song on my playlist. It brought a smile on my face but that’s it.
How am i supposed to live long enough to see you when this is absolutely driving me crazy already.
Just a random thought. When i meet you, I’ll give you my favorite penguin mug—for good luck. Take it wherever you go, it’ll be like taking me everywhere also.
