Discover Top Posts Tagged with #shush self

okay okay okay, so i’m most comfortable with she/her pronouns most of the time, but there are some days I just want to be a shapeless, elusive cryptid-type entity with no title, only burdened by the experience of being known.... hrnm

#shush self #delete later #is that a nonbinary thing or does every person feel like this?#i really hope that doesn't come across as ignorant i'm actually curious #i'm just trying to understand and would appreciate help from people more educated on gender identities than myself thank you!#but yeah sometimes i feel feminine and other days i don’t feel like anything?

Me *walking home from store whilst smoking*

*Dude pulls up to stop sign at intersection I’m passing*

Dude: “Hey! Got another cig?”

Me (a somewhat kind person): “Sure do!” So I start to get a cig out and then have that crashing panicky thought of ‘Oh shit what if he tries to get me in his car? Oh shitohshitohshitohshit’ and suddenly I’m hyper aware of how fast I can grab for my knife if he tries anything and if I can run home faster than he can.

Dude, unaware, happily jogs out of his car, collects cig, says thanks, and drives away, blissfully unaware of how terrified I was for 5 seconds and also unaware of how close he came to getting shanked had he reached for my wrist instead of holding his hand out for the cig like he did.

#shush self #I hate being in town #I haven't had to worry about this kind of thing in a LONG ass time #I didn't even think of things that could happen until he opened his car door #I very quickly had to relearn to be wary/distrustful of men #feeling like prey again #kinda sucks #oh and yeah I stopped smoking but I've been smoking this week because anxiety flared up hardcore and I need something to calm it down #and excessive drinking isn't a good alternative so...sue me

Me: Hmmm today doesn’t feel Gay ™ enough yet.

*watches Hayley Kiyoko music videos*

Me: Yes, perfect.

#shush self #getting the day started off right I suppose?

Not to be whiny or anything but...

Sometimes I get really tired of falling asleep alone.

#shush self #or in this case...not falling asleep at all #and still alone #god fucking damn it #LEMME SLEEP DAMN IT #then we'll work on sleeping with someone I guess

Well Stephen Hawking died so fuck everything

#shush self #sorry it just really caught me off guard for some reason

Can’t sleep so I’m watching a loooong movie.

Because young Dean Stockwell.

#shush self #it's Long Day's Journey into Night #not sure if I'll liveblog it yet #depends on how much tea I end up drinking

I thought I had gone mad for a second.

There’s someone working outside who’s been playing classic rock all day.

And a song started playing from the New Vegas soundtrack and I had forgotten he was out there and I was playing Dragon Age and BOY did I get confused as heck for a minute.

#shush self #and then I bruised a rib laughing

Yo wish me luck.

I’m going to my parents’ this afternoon and going to try and break the news that I’m getting a haircut soon that they definitely won’t approve of.

Emphasis on ‘try’.

Hopefully this will lessen the severity of the lecture I’m going to receive.

#shush self #still need to call a few places on price estimates

#shush self

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#shush self