Punishment
Over the weekend I heard a story from my mom about myself that I didn’t remember. My brother, his wife and kids, my fiance and I were at my parents’ house for Labor Day lunch. School came up in conversation. A family were knew from the neighborhood had a 5 year old entering kindergarten at the school where I went for kindergarten. My mom wondered if the teacher I had was still there and I said probably not because it was 30 years ago and she was old when I had her. Anyway, my mom and I didn’t have anything nice to say about this teacher I had. I don’t remember much of kindergarten other than my teacher yelling at me a lot. She didn’t like that I was quiet so instead of talking to me in private about it, or talking to my parents, she would scream at me in front of the class. When she finally did talk to my mom about it my mom told her that “if she’s not comfortable with you she won’t talk to you. Sorry, but that’s just how she is.” A friend of mine from the neighborhood was also in my class. His dad and my mom would rotate driving us to school. On our way home from school one day, my friend told my mom that the teacher put me in the closet for not talking to her. My mom was out for blood at this point. She dropped off my friend then ran home to call the school. She set up a meeting with the principal to complain about the teacher. The principal actually tried to justify the teacher’s actions because she was used to working with 6th graders and dealing with their behavior. My mom of course lost her shit and said that I was only 5 years old and she had already talked to the teacher about my talking issues and that putting me in a fucking closet wasn’t the correct way to deal with kids. After that meeting my teacher was as sweet as could be towards me for the rest of the year.
Ever since I heard this story I couldn’t help but be angry about it. I am beyond angry at that teacher for treating me the way she did. I feel like the reason I have a hard time opening up to people is because of her. If she had been more patient with me and tried a different approach to get me to open up to her, maybe I wouldn’t be the bundle of anxiety I am today.
I know there’s nothing I can do about it now, 30 years later. I just will never understand why introverted quiet people always get such a bad rap.
Peace.
