Summary: You had a good friend that you'd lost touch with for years on end, and you receive one call about that friend that you were not able to process at all, at least by yourself. You knew that you needed to call someone that would be able to comfort you the most and that someone would be Tetsuro Kuroo.
Warning: Reader's going through an angsty situation (friend's death), there will be fluff, mentions of anxiety, panic attacks and crying. Please lmk if I've missed any other trigger warnings. You can block #shyna angst if it gets too much.
Let me know here if you want to be tagged in more content like this :)
A/N: The Seiyuu birthday celebration week is still going on, but, when I wanted to post about Kuroo, it was kind of hard to think about what to write actually. I mean, he may not be my first Haikyuu crush but he definitely was someone that helped me get over a lot of pain from my previous relationships, and reading certain fanfics and headcanons made me fall in love with him, more, to a point where I'd ended up writing my first ever fanfic, dedicated to him. Last year, I'd learned that a good friend of mine passed away from a heart attack and he was 24. I didn't know how else to grieve, I cried and sobbed, and then, this story comes out. So, to be told that I was jumping on the I love Kuroo bandwagon just to copy someone, discredits the personal experience I underwent in loving him and it hurts (long story lol). Anyway, I miss you VT. You left too early. Also, anything related to Haikyuu (the character, the setup) belongs to Haruichi Furudate but the storyline is mine, so reblogs, likes, and comments are highly appreciated <3 This was cross posted from Quotev (attached the link too 😄)
Barbara: Hey.
Y/N: Oh, hey. What’s up?
Barbara: I don’t know if you heard about Victor?
When someone mentions the phrase, “I don’t know if you heard,” I feel a big sense of numbness in my chest. Because of course, there’s a negative connotation to it. And here, Barbara’s talking about Victor Tyler. My junior in school. Someone I’d called my younger brother. He’d been there through my tough times in high school and had never left my side even when people avoided me. I tried as much as I could to be there for him. In fact, it was him through which I got to know Barbara Boyd, another junior. She was kind and so was he. Their eyes were so full of life and joy that they’d inspire me to keep going in life. I’d last met Victor 4 years ago in a café to catch up with him. He seemed excited about what was coming in the future. I wish I could’ve been there for him more often. But life got busier. Wait? Why am I overthinking again? Surely, it’s because he’s getting married or something…did he?
Y/N: Wait. What happened to him?
No reply. Okay. Something is wrong.
Y/N: Barbara. Tell me. Barbara.
Barbara: He passed away. Last night.
Silence. All I could hear was silence. My ‘baby brother’ was gone. Guilt was seeping in, so was disbelief. This cannot happen. Wasn't he online just a couple of hours ago? I wasn’t in touch with him for so long. I wish I was. No, this can’t be happening. Surely this is a joke.
Y/N: Wait. How?! What happened!!?
Barbara: Cardiac arrest.
My brain couldn’t process anything. Guilt was starting to dwell and sadness was trying to find its way in. I needed to know what had happened. Barbara later called to explain the situation and what had happened. She was told that his heart had given away at night. He’d had heart issues for quite some time when he was a kid. (And I barely knew about this, although I could see him struggling with physical exertion even at a young age.) He even underwent surgery and he was slowly recovering. What was more irksome is that he was finally happy in every aspect. He seemed to be settling down in every way. But, he wouldn’t get to experience his happy ending ever. Why is life sometimes so unfair? Barbara had found out through a friend who posted a story on social media and that's when I was slowly starting to come to terms with it. I wanted to be strong for Barbara, so I tried holding my tears. But later on, after hanging up, I immediately called Kuroo ‘cause I needed to hear his voice.
The Tetsurō Kuroo. Yeah, the Nekoma High Volleyball Team captain. Although we’d graduated from different schools and started working in different places, it was quite recently that we started dating. We were getting serious. I was able to share stories about my life and he, about his. We'd experienced a roller coaster of emotions together. And while as a friend and a boyfriend he could get really cheeky with his sense of humor, he always provided a space for me to be vulnerable with him, and he’d not hesitate to be vulnerable with me. Hence, for this moment, I needed to hear him. I was trying to process it all, but I couldn’t do it alone. I needed him.
Kuroo: “Hey, kitten. What’s up, everything okay?”
Y/N: “Hey babe, remember I once told you of a close friend from school who was like a younger brother?”
Kuroo: “Oh, yeah. Victor was it?”
Y/N: “Yes, babe. Umm…he...he passed away.”
I could hear a gasp and some sniffles from the other side. Kuroo didn’t know Victor, but he knew my adoration for that boy, and I could tell he was crying. For me. Because I wasn’t able to. I could also hear some noises in the background. Traffic maybe?
“Kitten,” he sniffs, "are you at home?”
“Um, yes. Why?”
“Okay, I'm driving to your place now. Look out from your balcony, in about 10 seconds.”
“Huh-“ I could see in a couple of seconds, that he was there in his car waiting for me to sit next to him. I locked all my bedroom doors except the balcony one and found a way to sneak out and sit on the shotgun seat of his car. It's not that my parents were strict or anything. On the contrary, they were the best support system I could've asked for. However, it was weird that the environment I was in made me feel claustrophobic like I needed air to breathe. So, no sooner than I got to sit in his car than we drove around for some time, stopping at a beach nearby in the night because he knew how much I like the sound of waves.
The car ride was filled with silence mixed with some calming music in the background. Kuroo, initially being his introverted self, was aware of how everyone acted around him and as soon as he came out of his shell, he made it a point to stay attuned to people's emotions, so that he wouldn't lose touch with who he was. This was what made me fall in love with him.
We parked the car close to the beach. The sound of waves crashing onto the rocks seemed to have a calming effect on me. I looked into Tetsuro’s eyes and there didn’t seem to be any light in them like he always did. They seemed blank, staring into nothingness, but he had to steel himself up for me. His small, warm smile then sent me to tears, as if he was telling me it’s okay to cry. Dang you, Tetsurō Kuroo. He hugged my disheveled self and kept my face on his chest so that I could bury myself in it.
“Babe,” I start to vent out, “he was just a kid. He left this world too early. He didn’t have to die of an effing cardiac arrest. He was..*sniff* so *sniff* young…oh baby, this is so not fair. I wish I could tell him how much I loved him. But all I can say is that I miss him and I’m sorry that I wasn’t in touch with him...I..I..I didn't know he had a girlfriend until *sniff* the day he died. How am I supposed to *sniff* encourage her *sniff* when I am unable to *sniff* come to terms with it *sniff*...I...I.."
“I know, babe. I know. Kitten, I have a feeling he knows even if he’s not here in the world right now. My love, I’m sorry for the pain you’re in. This, however, doesn’t change the fact that there have been instances where you’ve made an impact in his life and he’s made an impact in yours. Focus on that moments. Make him proud. Don’t just tell your baby brother you love and miss him, show him. He’ll receive the message. And as for his girlfriend, if you know her, which you probably do,” Kuroo smiled again as he patted my head with his hand, lifted it, and said, "I know that you'll find a way to comfort her even if she doesn't see it that way. You've experienced loss before, and you will again, but these experiences should make you stronger and help people in need." He brought my face close to him, kissed me on my forehead, and then kissed me on my lips. It was a kiss of sincerity, of protection, of pure love. Something which I was craving for right now. He then hugged me, letting me bury my face in his chest again, as Fix You by Coldplay was playing in the stereo of his car.
“I’ll try, love. I’ll try. Hope you’ll be proud of me, Victor. Someday.”
Victor was one of the boys who knew about my struggles with relationships and I was waiting to tell him about Kuroo, but he was gone. He’d have been proud to know that there was finally someone to be my equal. And the girl that Victor left behind? I can’t imagine what’s going through Hannah’s head and heart. I knew her in school as well, and if I’d get to meet her, I’d offer her a hug and assure her that he’s with her wherever he is. A friend of mine told me this, "There is no right or wrong way to grieve, there's no timeline for grief, and it looks different from day to day." So, I'd tell her to take time to grieve as much as she needs to and I'd offer to be there for her whenever she needed something. That’s the only way she can cope. That’s the only way we can cope. By being there for each other.
