sorry I’m a bad boy
unrequested drabble about the bad boy back in town, aiming to keep his promises to his girl. Is it too late?
Warnings: Language, Suggestive content
Pairing: Changbin x Reader
“You know who’s looking for you, right?”
Your friend was fresh with youth, it seemed. That, or ignorance. All day, everyone you came across in this nosy ass town buzzed about you like bees, the same name filling your ears. You didn’t expect your best friend to be just another bee attracted to the honey.
“Yes, I know. Yes, he’s back in town. Yes, he’s looking for me. No, I don’t care.” That was a lie, but you needed to put on a brave face. You hadn’t seen Changbin in six months; the least you could do is pretend you didn’t care.
Rosé gave you that famous look of hers, the one that told you she knew exactly how afraid and lost you were feeling. “Seems like you’ve heard that way too much today.”
“I have.”
“Why don’t we get out of here then?”
And that’s how, instead of going to your 4:30 class, you skipped it to grab a burger and fries with your favorite person on Earth. You know it was only a matter of time before Rosé stopped being generous by filling the silence. Her fidgeting was her tell: she was dying to know where your mind was at.
How were you supposed to feel when the boy you were in love with your entire life reappeared after months of being M.I.A.?
His stupid promises filtered into your head as you drowned one fry in ketchup, dunking it over and over as each sentence rolled through your head.
I’ll come back for you.
I’ll always love you.
I’m always going to be bad for you, don’t forget that.
I might be leaving, but I’ll never leave you.
You can trust me.
I won’t ever change. I promise that.
Sorry I’m a bad boy.
You scoffed aloud, your attention finding the fry that had long been broken in half. How symbolic.
“Do you think… he knows about you and Jisung?”
You gave her an unamused look. “What’s to know? I don’t like Jisung like that.”
Rosé bit into her burger and chewed slowly before saying, “Yeah, but you know Jisung is going around telling everyone you’re his girlfriend.”
You knocked your head back and groaned. “I told him to stop doing that shit! I’m not going to date him.”
“Yeah, well, he’s delusional. Has been since we were kids.” Rosé really looked worried about you, and because of that you couldn’t look at her. She added, “Chances are, he’s heard about it.”
“Of course he has. In this shithole of a town, gossip travels fast,” You felt bad for calling your home that, but you were in a bad mood and it doesn’t mix well with the familiarity of a small town.
Rosé looked thoughtful again as she sipped from her soda before her eyes grew wide, “Oh my gosh. This isn’t good. They hate each other.”
“I know.”
“Once Changbin hears, he’s going to go apeshit. And when Jisung hears he’s back, he already knows he lost you to him. It’s a lose lose.”
“Why would he care? He’s the one that left me in the first place.”
You ignored her disapproving look, wanting to wallow in your despair. She never let you have your moments, though.
“You know that’s not true. The two of you were absolutely in love. He would travel the galaxy for you. You said it yourself, the only way he was going to escape bad influences is if he left.”
“But…” It bubbled over then, and you hated it. You thought you had escaped it, had managed to chase it away. It had only settled and waited until it was time to erupt. “But he said he wouldn’t leave me. He said he was leaving, but vowed to keep in contact with me. He said it would be like he never left. Tell me why I haven’t gotten one phone call, one text. Nothing. I mean nothing to him.
“He commanded my heart with the flick of his wrist. I was played by him, and I should’ve known better!” By now, you were yelling, your face red and the burger joint silent, likely eavesdropping to spread your outburst across town. “Changbin is nothing but a walking cliché. A stupid bad boy who had nothing better to do than go around seeing how many hearts he could break. Worthless promises, nothing but worthless words from his mouth. Am I supposed to jump for joy now that he’s back? Please, I’d rather date Jisung than face his bullshit again.”
Rosé stared for a moment, her mind working to figure out how to make things right. She couldn’t, but you loved her for trying. Slapping money down on the table, she grabbed your wrist. “I was wrong. Your favorite meal isn’t enough to cure this despair. Let’s go.”
Tugging you out of the burger place, complaints fell past your lips, not really paying attention to your surroundings. Coming to an abrupt stop in front of you, you slammed into her.
“Hey! What’s your problem-” Stepping around her, the reason became as vivid as the figure in front of you. Sleek black Impala parked, the same one you had spent way too many nights in doing way too many unspeakable things. Leaning up against its trunk, the boy with all the promises he couldn’t keep, his eyes shining as he looked at you.
Was his hair darker, or was your memory poisoned? Were his eyes warmer? His clothing was just as dark as you remembered, though he looked a lot more filled out.
He was perfect. Still, he managed to wring your insides tight, making it hard to breathe. If possible, it hurt even more seeing him now than it did when you had to watch his back as he walked away from you the last time.
“Y/N.”
“Let’s go, Rosé,” You thought you were in control. Quickly, you realized you weren’t.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Your heart dropped as you saw the apologetic look on your best friend’s face, “He convinced me to bring you here. I think it’ll be good to talk to him. I’ll be inside.”
The betrayal that twisted your heart stung your eyes. Really, you knew it was because you couldn’t handle being around him again. All these months, you ached to smell his scent, his body wash and him. You wanted to smell that stupid air freshener in his car, hear that stupid CD he replayed over and over. You wanted him.
Now that he was here, you wanted everything but.
You closed your eyes as the streetlights shut on, his heavy footsteps nearing until they stopped in front of you. Was your mind playing a trick on you or was his actual scent reaching your nose? The tears spilling from your closed eyes were embarrassing, so you squeezed your eyes tighter. Clenched fist, aching heart, crickets crying for their mates, you wished deeply this wasn’t happening.
It was too soon for you to realize all you wanted was to fall into his arms.
“Oh Y/N,” No. He wasn’t allowed to be in pain. Who gave him the right to waltz back in and out whenever he wanted?
You flinched when his fingers brushed a tear away. Peeking to see his hurt expression, you turned away. “What do you want, Changbin? Come to laugh in my face?”
His face scrunched up from the corner of your eye. “No. That’s bullshit and you know it. You know why I’m here.”
“Why?” You faced him, courage slowly but surely building as your eyes trailed to meet his. His courage faded as he stepped back, resolve crumbling as he had to stare the outcome of his actions in the face. “You think I’m just going to accept you back with open arms? You think I’m going to come running when everyone tells me you’re back? Jumping for joy?”
He was frowning but you continued, needing to or else you would implode.
“If you’re so big and bad, why are you here? Why aren’t you sporting some brand new girlfriend to rub in my face? I’m sure there was plenty, considering you never reached out to me. How’s that for a cliché? The bad boy makes promises he can’t keep. Well, news flash. I’m not the stupid girl who falls for your lies again.”
“Y/N…”
“And I don’t want to hear any insincere apology that I know you’re waiting to say. You expected me to wait for you. You expected me to hang onto your every word, hang onto this fantasy that you loved me. I’m better than that. I’m better than this.”
“Y/N, would you listen to me?”
“No. You don’t deserve that.”
“Oh, I don’t?”
“There’s nothing you could say that would make this right. So you don’t.”
“How would you know that?” His eyes were narrowed now, annoyed. How dare he.
“Because I do.”
“Stellar answer. Wouldn’t expect anything else from the Hotheaded queen herself.”
Inhaling heavily, you searched your mind for anything to say. Instead, you couldn’t help but swear at yourself as your eyes lingered on his face. He was still as stunning as he was in the past. You were such a fool. And he? A snake.
“What do you want from me, Changbin?”
At the sound of his name, you caught how he had an intake of breath. You ignored the pang in your chest. Your eyes trailed down. He was still wearing the silver car-wheel necklace you had given him a year ago. You wanted to rip it off.
“I want to hear your voice.”
You laughed. He ignored you.
“I want to hear every single detail of your days. I want to know what shows you’ve been watching, what music you’ve been listening to, if you continued on using that detergent you decided to try out. Are you still using the same body spray? How’s Galaxy? She was a kitten the last time I saw her. Bet she’s still causing havoc.”
Was it a trick of the streetlight or were his eyes glistening?
He stepped closer, you looking down at him from the edge of the pavement. He was in the road, blocking a parking spot but that was the least of his concerns as he stared up at you. Laughing forcibly, you held your breath as his fingers cautiously skimmed the back of your hand. You let him.
“I want to lie next to you again, watch the expressions you make when you sleep. I want you to wake me up in the middle of the night and pepper my face with kisses when you have a bad dream, and hug me from behind when you know I had one myself. I want to hear your laugh. I want to make your coffee, even though I always mess it up. How many times have you watched Good Will Hunting without me? I know I always complained, but I loved it just as much as you did.”
He was inches away from you now, and you uncontrollably drew closer. He was magnetic, glowing like the angel he was. A few lies from his mouth and he was an angel again. Were they lies? You didn’t know, but you could feel yourself slipping.
“I told you I was coming back for you. I never left, not really, not when the best part of me is still here. I can’t change who I am, and how I needed to get away to become better. I need to be a better man for you. I did what I had to. I’m sorry for not reaching out to you. I know I can’t make it up to you in a day. I’m bad, always have been. But I did what I had to in order to keep from running back. Trust me, I would have the second I heard your voice.”
How were you supposed to be mad at him when he was speaking to you in that tone, when his fingers were on your skin, when his presence was surrounding you?
“Y/N,” he sang your name now. That’s how it always sounded, since the moment he introduced himself and stole your heart. You remember when you were fifteen, the first time he really caught your attention in school. How his flirty smile always felt a little different than the others. He really had you since the moment you met.
“Changbin.” Even you were giving in. You couldn’t help it, not when he was this close. This close in six months.
He waited, hands comfortably on your waist and head tipped up as he looked at you. Your hands found their way to his shoulders, brushing them off before fiddling with his collar. Your fingers skimmed across his neck, and you watched as his lips parted, a look you knew all too well washing over his eyes.
Heavy lidded, he waited.
Hands gripping your waist, he waited.
Your fingers were massaging the back of his neck, thrilled at the same effect you had on him. The heat was closing in, the light fading away as you were washed away by the ocean you were drawn to since you were a girl.
Just as your lips grazed his, blinding headlights and a car horn startled you out of his grip as you jumped back. Changbin was less affected, annoyed as he looked over his shoulder at the car trying to pull into the spot he currently occupied. You pulled him up onto the sidewalk, but not before noticing the look building on his face as he waited for the driver to get out of his car. He was pissed.
And you? You were scared.
You recognized the car all too well.
“Y/N! I’ve been looking all over for you! I was going to take you home after class!” Jisung was all smiles, but you didn’t miss the lingering look on Changbin.
“Hey Park. It’s pretty fucking obvious what happened,” Changbin barely waited for Jisung to finish.
The smile disappeared so fast from the happy boy, it was unsettling. “Was I talking to you?”
“No, but I figured I would do you a favor and spare you the embarrassment. You always manage to make a fool out of yourself.”
Jisung slammed his car door shut. You began sweating, the danger on their faces spurring you into action as you stepped between them. That didn’t break their staredown.
“I don’t appreciate your attitude. Given the fact that you ran away from home like a little bitch, I wouldn’t go around acting like a tough guy.”
Changbin laughed stepping closer. Placing your hand on his chest, you pressed firmly and waited for him to look at you. His anger disappeared as he regarded you, a lingering sadness swimming in his face. You needed to do something.
Turning to Jisung, you said, “Jisung, please. Go.”
He frowned. “Are you serious?”
“Don’t make this harder.”
His voice cracked, the pain seeping through. “You’re really going to choose him? After leaving you? Breaking your heart? You’re still going to choose him over me?”
You didn’t know what to say. You wished you could take away his pain. Before you could say anything else, he was in his car and went as quickly as he came. You were in Changbin’s previous place now, facing the parking lot and wondering where your place was in this town. All you had been was a shell of your past self these last few months, and it was all because of Changbin. Is that who you were? Just Changbin’s girl?
No. You were more than that.
This time, when his hands found yours, you pulled away. You ignored his pain as best you could as you shook your head. “I can’t just forget what you did. You destroyed what we were when you vowed you wouldn’t. You know how hard it was for me to trust you. You used that against me, made me fall in love with you, just so you could shoot me in the heart.”
“I-”
“No. No, Changbin. You’re not who I thought you were. And I’m not the Y/N I once was. And I won’t put myself through that again. I will always love you, but I love myself more. So let me breathe.”
He took a step back, the defenses you had spent years breaking down building up right before your eyes. If you had known how easy it was to keep from loving him, you wonder if you would have gone back in time and stopped anything from happening.
Figuring it was done, you turned away and headed for the entrance to the burger joint. Just as you reached the door, his words stopped you in your tracks.
“I wasn’t lying when I told you I would be back for you. And when I knew I had to be a better man for you the next time I saw you. I’ll respect your wishes. But I will prove to you that I will love you right for the rest of my life. I will always be yours, Y/N.”
You only looked at him one last time before going inside. When you sat across from Rosé and got the courage to look out the window, that Impala you knew all too well was gone.
And as the sensation of his lips lingered on your own, you answered your own thoughts.
No, you would never go back in time and erase everything you had with him. No matter the outcome, he will always be the boy that taught you how to love.
Coming back for you, huh?
You’ll believe that when you see it.