October Ink | #3
Fall isn’t all fun and games. With your chemistry class weighing down on you, Chan knows just the right remedies to lift your spirits.
“So Coraline and pumpkin spice lattes. That’s our Saturday date?” Chan asked, ignoring his friends chattering in the background. It was funny how you could hear Felix’s screeches and Jisung’s swearing through two devices.
Changing into more comfortable clothes, you confirmed his words. “Yup. It’s tradition. I usually do it myself, just to get into fall spirit. But now that you’re around,” You teased, smiling when he laughed in response.
“Yeah, I guess I can be pencilled in,” You could hear the humor in his voice, easing the nerves rattling your breathing since you’d checked your phone around twenty minutes ago. With that thought, you crawled onto your bed and opened your laptop.
“Okay. I’m logging in,” You let your voice drag out as you typed in your password, neck aching with the strain of holding up your phone. “Ugh, hold on. I’m going to put you on speaker.”
“Okay, baby,” You smiled at Chan’s stuffy voice, familiar with the way he sounded with a full mouth (trail mix was your guess). Jisung was always yelling at him to stop doing it through his headset, but you found it kinda cute. “Just breathe, okay?”
You clenched and unclenched your fist as the screen loaded, letting you into your school website. Specifically, for your grades. On your way home from work, you’d gotten an email letting you know your professor had posted your grades for your chem midterm. If it was any other class, you wouldn’t have been struck with a wave of nausea like you did when you saw it.
This chemistry class, in short, had been kicking your ass since day one.
The only person who knew the extent of your stress was your boyfriend, Chan. Loving, supportive, always cheering you on. He had his own worries, so you tried your best not to dump your concerns all over him. However, he knew how freaked out you were over this. Your skin flushed at the memory of a few nights ago, calling him and crying about your fear of failing.
No matter what you did or how hard you tried, you just couldn’t do well in this class. He constantly reassured you, tried to give you pep talks, but at this point there was nothing you could do but hope for the best.
As you hovered over the class name, the sound of Chan talking to his friends on his game faded away. If you bombed this test, you weren’t sure if you’d be able to recover. Gnawing at your lip, you clicked the class, your breath hitching at the little notification on the grades tab.
“You alright, baby?” Chan whispered. His voice released the breath you were holding, eased the tension in your shoulders. As long as you’ve known him, he tended to everyone. Everyday, you worked to make sure he was seen and loved.
“I’m- I’m about to see.”
“Whatever happens, I’m here.”
“Thank you.” You clicked on the tab, waited for it to load. It loaded too quickly, so you purposefully scrolled down as slow as possible. Chris wasn’t talking to his friends anymore, but you could hear his fingers tapping away at his PC.
When your eyes found the number, you wondered if your heart actually cracked. Pushing your laptop away, you fell back on your bed, covering your eyes with your hands. You breathed out, tried to tell yourself not to cry but only made the urge worse. Like a sudden storm that you should’ve known was coming, the tears fell.
“Y/N? Baby, you there?” His voice was coated in concern, as if he sensed the shift in your silence. Swallowing thickly, you raised your tone, tried to come off nonchalant.
“I’m here. I’m fine... Don’t worry.”
There was a brief moment of silence, and you squeezed your eyes shut as you prayed that you fooled him.
“Hey guys, I gotta go,” You heaved a sigh, hearing him say his goodbyes to his friends somehow making things worse. You were such a failure. “No, no everything’s fine. I’ll just catch up with you guys later.”
He waited, and even without saying anything, you knew he meant it. There was a purpose to his silence, patient like he was reaching through the phone and holding you.
You couldn’t take it, not right now.
“I gotta go,” You whispered, eyes trailing to your laptop as you reached over and shut it.
“Y/N…”
“I just need some time, baby. Just play with your friends okay? I’ll call you back in a while.”
“Okay,” You moved to hang up, distracted, but he called your name again.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
~
A few hours later, you were feeling a little better. You had The Office and Chan’s sweater to thank for that. Cozying up on the couch, you forced yourself not to think as you let the episodes start and end, not touching the remote and turning off your mind. If you didn’t, you were sure you’d cry again.
You didn’t feel good about being so short with Chan, but the two of you learned healthy communication over time. He was aware of how you got sometimes, and gave you space when he knew you needed it. You still felt guilty, because you knew he was worried.
The doorbell rang. With a sigh, you got off the couch and dragged your feet to the door. Furrowing your eyebrows, you stared out the peephole, wondering why no one was there.
Nervous, you unlocked the door and opened it a crack, peeking out. Eyes trailing down, your heart warmed at the latte on your welcome mat, a sticky note pasted on the lid. Looking out into the hall, searching for Chan, you picked up the drink and read the note.
I’m here when you’re ready. Pumpkin spice doesn’t need to wait until Saturday. Love, C.
Sipping at the drink, the sweetness filled your tongue, the tension in your body faded away- just like it did when Chan was near.
He knew how to make you feel better even when he wasn’t here.
Running your fingers over his handwriting, you closed the front door, a smile poking at your lips.
~
The next morning, you woke up to your phone going off. Blinking away your drowsiness, you tapped at your phone, seeing a new text from Chan.
New surprise at your door. Hint: it’s not me.
Suddenly awake, you threw your blanket off of you as you raced to the door, throwing it open. The smile bloomed on your face as you crouched down, picked up the pumpkin spice latte and stuffed black cat.
You sipped at your drink, double checked to see if Chan wasn’t hiding around the corner. The note said, I figured you’d want your own Charlie. Three days until Coraline! <3
Snapping a picture of the cat snuggled up against the drink, you sent it to Chan.
You’re the best, you know that?
Second best.
No.
Yes.
I love you…
I love you too, Y/N.
~
When you woke up the next day to the doorbell ringing, you were prepared. Jumping out of bed, you slid on your slippers and raced to the door. Throwing it open, your heart jumped, Chan nowhere in sight. Was he really that fast? Scooping up his gifts for the day (your favorite candies and another latte), you ran down the hallway, ignoring the elevator as you headed for the stairs.
Just as you started heading down, you heard the door on the first floor slam closed. He was close!
You ran, pretty sure you looked terrifying as the smile on your lips grow bigger. Bursting out of the door, you headed to the front of the complex, looking both ways before racing down the sidewalk toward where he usually parked.
When you made it around the corner, your heart jumped in your chest, ever excited whenever you spotted its owner.
Chan hadn’t noticed you yet, and you sighed when his long strides relaxed into his normal pace, his hands in his pockets. His hair was messy like he just rolled out of bed himself, sporting his favorite red hoodie and sweatpants.
Running up behind him, you yelled his name as your arms went around him. He jumped, reeling to look at you with wide and scared eyes. It only took a split second before a laugh broke out of his lips, his arms going around you. Looking at you with raised eyebrows, he said, “You ruined my surprise.”
“I was ready for you today.”
He hummed, trying to bite back a smile. “Were you now?”
“Mhm.” He pressed a kiss onto your lips, distracting you as his hands reached and snatched the drink out of your hands. “Chan!”
“Well, since you ruined my surprise, I might as well take this,” He twisted his body as you tried grabbing it back from him, crying out as he guzzled the latte. He stopped, exaggerating a sound of praise before handing it over.
Cradling the drink, you narrowed your eyes at him. “Latte thief.”
“Surprise ruiner.”
Dropping the act, you intertwined your fingers with his, swinging them between you two. His face softened, and it made you shy because… well, everyone said it. You could feel his love for you whenever he looked at you like that. The dimples helped.
“Thank you, Chan. I… I know I’ve been really down and not really as enthusiastic as I’ve always been.”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to worry about that. You can’t be happy all the time. None of us can. I just wanted to make sure you had something to lift your spirits, even when you need your space.”
“I loved it. These lattes? I need to learn to make them because wow. And Charlie? You almost made me cry.”
“Lattes huh?” You saw the idea forming in his face, knowing that he was concocting some plan to probably learn how to make them himself. Patting his chest, you leaned forward and pecked his cheek.
“You are an angel.”
“Just like you, love. And I hope you know that this class? The one that’s making my girl so unhappy? It’s temporary. You are going to go on and do incredible things. You just don’t know it yet.”
Even with the doubt and disappointment squeezing your heart, the conviction in his voice broke apart those vines, planted a precious seed called hope. One that you knew he’d help in guarding.
“Well,” You looked off to the side, acting casual, “I’m kinda free today. I decided to call in to work. I feel like I deserved a day off. If someone isn’t busy… maybe we can watch Coraline?”
Chan tilted his head, humming as he feigned consideration. A big smile broke out as he wrapped his arms around you, picking you up and then setting you down. “Sounds perfect.”
“Like you?”
“Ohhhh,” He pointed at you as you both started heading back to the complex, “That was smooth.”
Throwing his arm across your shoulder, pulling you close, there was no negative thought that could creep into the oasis that you and him had worked so hard to build.
Chemistry? You’re important, necessary for your major. But with Chan by your side, you’re not so scary anymore.