A Helping Hand Ch 4/4 (Epilogue)
Rating: Teen
Relationship: Nine x Rose
Chapter summary: Rose and John attend Shireen's wedding....and have a very important chat.
Notes: AT LAST the epilogue for this little fic is up! Sorry it's been months but RL has been....less than kind, and it's been difficult to find my words. This is probably entirely rusty and stiff and OOC but all mistakes are mine as this hasn't been beta'd. I hope you all like (especially @goingtothetardis) or at least that you don't hate!
Once again, happy belated birthday to @goingtothetardis <3
Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3
Also on A03.
“Right, you ready to go?”
“Yeah.” John tugged at his tie. “I look ridiculous in this getup.”
Donna rolled her eyes and slapped his hands away from the knot.
Again.
“It’s a wedding, Doctor, you can’t go in a leather jacket and jumper.”
John scowled, shifting in his uncomfortable clothes. Again. “Don’t see why not. Not trying to impress anyone, me.”
“Oh, no?” Donna cocked an eyebrow. “Not even Rose?”
He felt the tips of his ears heating up. “We’re just friends.”
“You have got to be joking,” Donna scoffed. “For three weeks, it’s been nothing but ‘Rose this’ and ‘Rose said that’ and ‘where are you off to John? Oh, I’m off to a movie with Rose’.” She fixed him with a look. “And you’re trying to tell me there’s nothing going on?”
“There isn’t,” he protested, trying to make it sound convincing.
“You’ve stopped by the cafe to see her twice a day and taken her out eight times in three weeks!”
His jaw dropped. ““How in the bloody hell did you know that? What, you spying on me now?”
“Of course not,” Donna scoffed. “Grandad is.”
“He what?”
Donna shrugged in that irritating manner of hers. “Your neighbours are helpful.”
“Who….Joan Redfern,” he growled. “That interfering old biddy needs to mind her own business, and- oi, keep your hands to yourself!” He scowled, rubbing the back of his head.
Blimey but Donna had a strong slap.
“Don’t be disrespectful towards a sweet old lady, then,” she sniffed.
“Sweet old….Donna, she pokes her nose into every bloody part of my life and now you’re telling me she’s feeding intelligence to me own grandad!” He growled. “Nothing sweet about her!”
“She’s just worried about you. She likes you,” Donna smirked. “If she were 30 years younger….”
“Oi, none of that!”
“Well then, you should be grateful you’re with Rose now.”
John sighed in exasperation. “For the hundredth time, Donna, I’m not with Rose.”
Donna watched him for a moment. “But you’d like to be, wouldn’t you?”
John scowled.
“You should, you know. I like her, Grandad likes her, and Lord knows why, she seems to like you too.”
He swallowed painfully. “Donna, she doesn’t-”
“Good grief, Spaceman, how are you this thick?”
“Stop calling me that ridiculous name,” he growled, ruthlessly suppressing the little voice of hope in the back of his head.
“When you stop obsessing over Grandad’s old telescope, I’ll stop calling you Spaceman. And you are thick,” she added for good measure.
“Donna, she’s too young-”
“Come off it,” she cut in. “She’s twenty six.”
“What? How’d you know that?” He couldn’t help but ask.
“I asked her,” Donna shrugged. “And twenty-six isn’t exactly a child compared to your ancient self at thirty-eight, is it?”
“It’s twelve years,” he pointed out, trying desperately not to get his hopes up.
“So?” She shrugged. “Lee’s eight years older than me, and Grandad Wilf was thirteen years older than Nan. What of it?”
“Even so,” he managed. “She doesn’t….Donna she doesn’t see me that way. I’m just a friend, a nice older bloke. Like a big brother.”
“A brother?” She snorted. “Believe me, If I looked at you like that I’d have myself committed. Trust me, Doctor, she looks at you the same sickening way you look at her.”
“She what?”
Groaning in frustration, Donna swatted him up upside the head. “She moons over you the same way you moon over her, idiot! It’s nauseating, the way two carry on. Honestly, Doctor, a woman doesn’t look at a man like that unless she’s bonkers about him!”
“You mean she might….” He trailed off, unable to say it.
“I don’t mean she might anything! I mean she’s bonkers about you.”
“I….we’ve only known each other a few weeks,” he protested feebly, trying by any means not to dream of the impossible.
“So what? You’re not proposing, you’re going to date her!” Donna rolled her eyes. “Just kiss her already and spend the rest of your life getting to know her!
“I can’t-”
“Oh shut it,” Donna exhaled. “Right, I’ve had it with this pity party so here’s what going to happen. You’re going to shove off. You’re going to pick up Rose- and you’re going to tell her she looks gorgeous- and you’re going to this wedding and you’re going to dance and meet all of Rose’s friends and then you’re going to kiss her and bloody date the woman. You got that?”
“I don’t dance!” He folded his arms, wishing for his leather jacket. He felt naked in this ridiculous tuxedo. “And I don’t meet friends either.”
“You do now. Move it!”
“It’s my flat! You can’t kick me out of my own flat!” He protested.
“Oh can’t I?” Donna cocked an eyebrow, picked up his coat and flung his car keys at him. “Watch me sunshine.”
“Oi!”
“Don’t you ‘oi’ me- get your sorry arse out that door and don’t come back until you’ve stopped being a miserable sod!”
“An’ what if she says no?”
Donna rolled her eyes and pushed him out the door. “Goodbye, Doctor.”
“But what if she does?”
Donna must have heard the anxiety in his tone because her expression softened slightly. “She won’t, Doctor. Just…be honest with her, alright? Be honest and let the rest take care of itself. Good luck!”
The door slammed shut in his face.
John exhaled. “Blimey.”
Could it be true? Could Rose really want him the same way he wanted her? What if Donna was wrong? What if he said something and ruined everything?
“You won’t!” Donna shouted through the door. “Now stop getting lost in that oversized brain of yours and move it!”
“Right,” he muttered, scowling at the door. “Well, here goes nothing.” Inhaling, he slipped on his coat and trudged forward. “Luck be a lady.”
++++++++
A few hours later, he wanted nothing more than to take Rose’s hand and pull her out the door.
He scowled when yet another bloke smiled a bit too warmly at Rose as they made their way through the hall back to their table after the obligatory (and painful) dance (if you could call a ridiculously fast shuffle in which he didn’t even get to hold Rose a ‘dance’). Thankfully, there was no sign of the other two couples. He didn’t feel like making small-talk and hadn’t been able to string more than a few words together for a good few hours. He’d almost swallowed his tongue when he’d seen Rose in her red dress (blimey, she looked beautiful) and he’d been on tenterhooks during the service at the quaint little church, and meeting Rose’s friends afterwards. Luckily they hadn’t had to hang about much before nipping off to the reception hall. He’d been burning with indecision for hours, torn between wanting to blurt out his question and yet wanting to avoid the topic at all costs. He’d probably been even worse company that usual, he thought darkly. Honestly, it was pitiful.
“Everything alright, Doctor?”
He blinked, startled out of his reverie. “What? Oh, I’m fine.”
“You just look a bit….”Rose bit her lip, looking uncertain. “If you don’t want to do this, I mean, if you’ve had enough-”
“No, no! It’s not that. It’s still early! I just…I’m a bit shy, me.” He blurted out the first excuse that came to his head. “Don’t do well with meeting friends and what have you.”
“Shy?” She looked at him disbelievingly.
“That’s right!” He nodded madly, mentally kicking himself for coming up with such a ridiculous excuse. “Shy Northern boy. Gentle, er, gruff forest creature, that’s me.”
“Forest creature?” She said faintly before sighing. “I knew this was….Look, honestly Doctor, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. You can leave anytime you want and if you’re worried about Mickey bein’ an arse, we can say it’s an emergency and you got called in to the hospital, yeah? He can’t say anything about that.”
“What?” He stared at her in confusion.
She tried to smile. “You got him off my back, an’ that’s more than I honestly could have asked for. I won’t make you stay somewhere you’re uncomfortable just so I can save face, though. You go on outside, and I’ll tell them you got a call.”
“Call?” He repeated in bafflement. Why was she trying to push him into leaving?
“Yeah….just, you know, pull out your phone or somethin’ on the way, to make it look real.” She managed to force a weak smile. “Bit of the old theatrics, hey?”
“What?” He said again.
“Just….go on,” she said, her voice wobbling slightly. “It’ll be fine. Best go now while the going’s good.”
He cleared his throat, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach. “You want me to clear off, then?”
“What? No! I just…..I’m trying to make it easy for you to go. If you want.”
The lump in his throat eased slightly. “But why?”
“I…” It was Rose’s turn to swallow. “I just thought you wanted to go, so I was just tryin’ to make it easy for you.”
“You what?”
“I…you just….you’ve been so quiet and you’ve been so…different, I just thought…I thought maybe you regretted coming, and you were just makin’ yourself stay…for me. You know. ‘cause of Mickey.”
“You what?” He was really going to have to stop with the ‘whats’, he grumbled to himself, because he sounded sounded like a stupid ape. Or worse, he shuddered, Rickey. “Why on earth would you think a daft thing like that?”
“I told you!” She exclaimed. “You were bein’ all quiet and serious and….weird. Not like you at all. What else was I supposed to think?”
“Maybe I was preoccupied with something else!” He said, folding his arms, offended. “Ever think of that?”
“Well how am I supposed to know?” She folded her own arms and stared defiantly back at him. “I’m not a mind reader an’ you’ve barely said anythin’ since you picked me up!”
“That’s your fault!”
“My fault?” She exclaimed. “How is it my fault?”
“Because I took one look at you in that dress and lost every word in my head!” He exclaimed.
“I-you what?” She stared.
“That’s right! Big old brain, can’t shut me up at the best of times, and all it takes is one look at you in that dress an’ I can’t find two words to rub together.” He tried not to cringe as said big old brain pointed out that he’d just blurted a lot more than he’d intended. Well, may as well be hung for a sheep… “And it was your fault I was worried in the first place!”
“Why?” Rose said, shaking her head in confusion. “Did I do somethin’ wrong?”
“No, that’s just it Rose!” He groaned, giving up on any attempt not to make a complete arse of himself. “It’s….you’ve done everything right!”
“I…did?” She blinked. “And that’s….bad?”
“Yes!”
“Why?”
“Because you’ve gone and put ideas in my daft head, Rose! Got me thinkin’ about things I shouldn’t and now I’ve gone an’ buggered it all up, haven’t I!”
“What…” she swallowed. “What d’you mean?”
“Well, I’ve gone and stuck me foot in it now, haven’t I?” He rubbed at his face in frustration. “Here’s me dithering all night if I should say somethin’ or if I should keep my gob shut and now I’ve gone and blurted it all out!”
“What, you mean about likin’ my dress?”
“Yes! No! Well, sort of.” He rubbed at his face and sighed. “I’m old, Rose. Too old, I know that. But….”
“But what?” She said quietly. “Too old for what, Doctor?”
This was it. He either had to tell her or make a run for it. Either way, things were going to change now. It was too late for anything else. He supposed he should be grateful for the music that kept their words from everyone else. Pushing aside every last screaming thought that he was too old, too jaded, not enough, that she’d hate him, he took a deep breath and looked her in the eye. “I’m mad for you, Rose.”
He cringed at her gasp, his heart sinking.
That was that, then.
“You…you are?”
He nodded, unable to say a single word past the lump in this throat.
“You mean you…” she took a deep breath. “You…care. About me.”
He nodded again.
“More than a friend.”
Another nod.
“Say it, Doctor.” Her voice wobbled. “Please.”
He managed to force a single word out. “Yes.” Her eyes filled with tears and if it weren’t an impossibility he’d have sworn his heart had literally sunk. She didn’t want him. He should have known, he had known, and then Donna had gone putting ideas in his head and giving him hope….
“I’m sorry.”
She blinked back her tears. “What for?”
He stared at the tablecloth, fingers clenched in an attempt to contain his roiling emotions. “For….for ruining everything. For making you…uncomfortable. I’d never expect you to care for an old sod like…. I’m sorry.”
Suddenly, her fingers were under his chin and forcing him to look at her. “Don’t….don’t say that.”
He forced himself to keep her gaze whilst his heart burned on the inside. He couldn’t bear her pity. “I am though.”
To his surprise, she groaned. “How are you so thick?”
“What you say that for?” He managed, ruthlessly quelling the quiet voice that said maybe he’d misunderstood, that maybe she….
Shut it.
“You’re so daft!” She laughed, wiping her eyes. “God, I hope my makeup didn’t run. Thank God for waterproof mascara.”
“Oi, what’re you on about?” He demanded in puzzlement, his heart beating faster in anticipation, in spite of his scared, tired head.
She shook her head. “Well, you are. Thick I mean. You tell me you care about me one minute and them you’re apologisin’ and about ready to run yourself through the next.”
“I thought-”
“Tell me something, Doctor,” she interrupted, placing a finger on his lips. “Do I look mad?”
He blinked, and shook his head, hope building a little more.
“Do I look upset?”
He stared at her, gently pulling her finger away from his lips. “Are you daft? You’re cryin’! I made you cry.”
“Because I’m happy, you stupid sod!” She exclaimed. “I’m cryin’ because you said somethin’ I never, ever though you would and I’m happy!”
He froze, too afraid to even breathe. “Come again?”
“I’m happy, Doctor! I’m happy you…care about me.”
“You are?” He inhaled, hope burning hot in his heart.
“Yes!” She laughed and wiped at her eyes again.
“Why?” He had to ask, to make absolutely sure.
“Because I’ve fallen for you, you bloody great git!”
He felt as though someone had breathed new life into him. “You have?”
“Yes!”
“Thank God for that,” he exhaled. “Got me smitten, you have.”
“Yeah?” She smiled, eyes shining.
“Pathetically besotted.” He took a deep breath. “Are you…”
“If you ask me if I’m sure, I’m goin’ to smack you one. Jackie Tyler style.”
“Blimey, you’d think your mum was Bruce Lee.” He rubbed at his cheek. “No need for that, I saw what you did to Rickey.”
“Good.” She fixed him with a look. “Why on earth would you think I wouldn’t want you? I’ve been mad for you for…God, weeks!”
“You have?” Without his permission, a smile spread across his face. “What on earth for?”
“Are you serious?” She stared in disbelief. “Doctor, I’ve been mad for you since we met! How could I not? You’re gorgeous and kind …brilliant….and best of all you treat me like I’m worth somethin’, like I matter.” She blinked back sudden tears. “Goes right to a girl’s heart, that.”
“But you never said anything!” He suddenly felt indignant about all the worrying held been doing.
“What, like you did?” She scoffed. “An’ anyway, how could I say anything? You’re all that an’ a famous professor and I’m a nobody! I thought you wouldn’t want me and I was scared that if I said anythin’ I’d scare you off!”
“Oi!” He seized her hand and leaned close. “You listen to me, Rose Tyler: you are not nothing. You’re brilliant and kind and gutsy and beautiful and all the things I thought a grumpy old sod like me could never have.”
“Yeah?” She breathed, her smile a mile wide.
“Yeah.” He nodded emphatically, his gaze on hers. “Rose, you….you’re fantastic.”
Her smiled lit up the room so much he was astounded that nobody noticed. “Same goes, you know.”
“Yeah?” He breathed. “Fantastic.” He let go of her and leaned back, shaking his head ruefully. “You know, I’m pretty sure we’ve had this conversation before. Here’s me all tied up in knots, tryin’ to get the blasted words out of my mouth, worried you’d hate me and here was you worrying about exactly the same thing!”
“Yeah, and you had me scared that you wanted to leave!” She added indignantly.
“I was worried!” He defended himself. “I didn’t know what to say!”
“So was I!” She said. “But at least I didn’t make you think that I was angry!”
“No, you just made me think you wanted me to shove off!”
“I was tryin’ to help! Because you weren’t talkin’!”
“Because I was afraid!”
“Well so was I!”
“Well, I told you now, didn’t I?”
“Only because I made you talk! And you tried fobbin’ me off with some story about bein’ shy.”
He cringed. “You have me there. Blimey, that was daft.”
She gave him a sudden, tongue-touched smile that made him very grateful that he was sitting down. “Yeah, it was.”
He exhaled. “So….”
“So,” she echoed.
“Looks like we both have… feelings.”
“Looks like.”
“And they’re the same,” he felt compelled to add. Just to make sure.
“Yep.”
No hesitation.
He smiled, feeling as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. “So what d’you think we should do about it?”
“Welllll…..” She drawled, and he sat up at the gleam in her eye. “I s’pose there’s a lot of things we could do about it. We could have a dance, a proper dance as…. a couple.”
He groaned even as he beamed at the thought of Rose being a couple with him. “Do we have to?”
“The world doesn’t end when the Doctor dances,” she grinned, melting his resistance. Blimey, he’d do anything to see that smile. “Or….we could go on a proper date, when we get out of here. Maybe have a drink, do some stargazing.”
“Yeah?” He swallowed. “Sounds fantastic.”
“But maybe we need something to start off with. Something special. Something now.” She leaned closer, her brown eyes aflame with something he was too much of a coward to name.
“Yeah?” He said faintly. “Like what?”
“Like a kiss,” she said huskily.
“Could do, yeah,” he managed. Blimey, when had it gotten so hot in here?
“Then kiss me, John,” she whispered.
“What’ll you do if I don’t?” He managed in a strangled voice.
She smiled and leaned in closer. “ I’ll kiss you.”
And she did.
At the first press of her lips on his, John was certain that the earth had imploded and they had reached the very end of the world. Stars exploded behind his eyes and after that he was lost to everything but the taste and feel of her.
Eventually they broke apart for air and only then noticed the cheers and whistles around them. They’d completely forgotten where they were and it seemed as though the entire hall had witnessed their little display. John was, however, particularly gratified to note the jealous scowl on Rickey’s face across the room.
“Nicely done, Rose! You go girl!” The bride cheered from the head table.
“Oh my God,” Rose groaned and buried her face in her hands. “I forgot about them.”
“Me too,” he said, the the tips of his ears hot with embarrassment.
“She’s never going to let me live this down,” Rose said, voice muffled.
“Oooooh, Rose is goin’ a bit red, Doctor John!” The groom called out gleefully.
“I reckon she needs a doctor!” The bride hollered.
“Oh my God,” Rose groaned. “She did not.”
“She did,” John said indignantly. “That should be my line.”
“Doctor!” Rose looked up, eyes wide, her lips looking red and plump and very, very kissed.
“What, I’m just sayin’ there are a few privileges I reserve for myself and that’s one of them.”
“Yeah? What’re the others?”
“This.” And unable believe what he was doing, unable to help himself, he drew her into his arms and kissed her again.
And again.
What seemed like hours later they emerged to more cheers, and he grinned cheekily at Rose.
“Only one thing we can do now,” he told her, not knowing what to do with all of the joy suddenly bubbling through him.
“What?” She asked, tongue touching her teeth.
Seizing her hand, he shouted, “Run!”
And they did.
Fin