⌛⛰️ Hold me tight
Title from Paradigm (ATEEZ)
Summary: San sits out during filming for a stomach ache … turns out it’s not just a stomach ache…
CW: emeto, pain, diarrhea (in the context of illness, mentioned), ambulance, hospitals, surgery, IVs
Sickie: San Caretaker: Seonghwa + Yunho + Hongjoong
San stood in front of the mirror, mustering his outfit for the new WANTEEZ episode. He couldn’t deny that the navy shirt and the black pants looked nice together like the stylist noona had pointed out. She seemed very proud of her work and San was sure that ATINY would like the look.
That didn’t mean that he didn’t feel like tearing off both clothing items. They were suffocating. He was already sweating under all of it and for once he nearly wished for one of his revealing stage outfits. At least they were cool. Additionally, the waistband of the pants was pressing into his bloated stomach and it was uncomfortable.
San had woken up feeling less than amazing that morning and it had just gotten worse. The drive to the filming location had taken all his will to live, sandwiched between Wooyoung and Yeosang who had been squabbling all the way. He supposed he should have been glad he wasn’t in the other car, apparently Yunho had gotten really motion sick and San was sure - that while normally not easily sympathy sick - he would have followed suit in puking up his meager breakfast.
Needless to say, he was not feeling up to filming.
But he was an idol and life needed to go on. Even if he was feeling awful and the pain in his stomach was not getting better.
“You okay?”, Seonghwa asked, coming up to him and whispering in his ear.
San nodded, looking up at his hyung. “I’ll be fine.”
“So you’re not fine right now?”, Seonghwa said, raising his eyebrow in a way that meant that the elder would have an eye on him for the rest of the day. Damn perceptive hyung. San just hadn’t wanted to lie but well, that’s what he got for being honest.
“Just a small stomach ache, hyung”, San answered reluctantly, “I ate some snacks last night, I think that was a bad move.”
Seonghwa stared at him like he knew that San had just lied to his face, twice. The stomach ache was not just small. And he hadn’t eaten snacks last night, in fact he had gone to bed early and slept through his alarm until Mingi had come banging against his door and complaining that he should turn off the obnoxious sound. Seonghwa had been at Hongjoong’s dorm till late, apparently, so he hadn’t had a chance to notice his dongsaeng going to bed suspiciously early.
Then their eldest nodded. “Tell me if you need something.”
“I won’t”, San said, crossing his fingers behind his back for good measure, and as Seonghwa’s eyes widened, he quickly added: “Need anything, I mean.”
It looked like Seonghwa wanted to say something more but they were called to the set.
⌛
Their MC for the day was Hongjoong - annoyingly observant Hongjoong who now would be preoccupied with hosting today and would not be able to notice if something was up with San. Small mercies.
“Today, we are going to have secret pirate missions”, Hongjoong announced, causing some of them to cheer and the others to groan, “everybody will draw a lot and read their mission. If the mission is not complete by the end of the hour, the ones who didn’t make it have to do penalties, decided by the ones who managed to do their mission. Understood?”
They chorused their agreement and Hongjoong was given a jar by the filming crew, walking around to let every member draw a gold piece of paper.
Seeing the reaction on every members face when they read their missions was likely hilarious and San did try to laugh along with them but he quickly gave up doing more than smiling. Every laugh sent a stab through his abdomen, the pain getting worse. Seonghwa looked gleefully, while Yeosang and Mingi seemed confused. Yunho seemed to already be scheming, as did Wooyoung. Both Hongjoong and Jongho groaned when reading their missions, causing laughter of schadenfreude to ring through the room. San furrowed his eyebrows as he read his mission: Walk like Jack Sparrow at all times without anybody pointing it out. He was probably in luck - that didn’t sound half bad. Actually, maybe he would get away with not walking at all.
Then Hongjoong took back the mic and read out his script: “There will be a special mission: Find the captain patch. If you do, the other missions are over. Whoever finds it … gets to be captain for today?” He looked up to stare at the director incredulously. “This is mutiny!”
Wooyoung instantly started to cackle loudly, joined by Yunho and Seonghwa. San could have sworn he heard Mingi whisper: “Finally.”
“The clock starts now!”, the director called, probably scared of Hongjoong, and instantly the group scattered.
San waited until everybody was gone and awkwardly walked into the pirate ship themed house. The way that Jack Sparrow walked, while distinctive, was pulling at his stomach and causing unnecessarily pain. He distracted himself by scanning the first room. Mingi was searching through a cabinet but otherwise it was empty. San walked further inside and turned to the right where he found a sofa, in a small half-hidden alcove. Perfect.
As quickly as he could handle he walked over and sat down carefully, hoping that sitting down would not hurt. It didn’t - much. He grabbed the first pillow he could find and pressed it to his stomach. It seemed to help the pain a bit.
It was really perfect here, if he was honest. He didn’t need to walk. The pillow helped the pain. He might not find the captain patch that way but he didn’t want to be captain anyway. Not having to do the penalty the other members thought of was his main focus.
He had to admit that the set was really impressive - it looked like an old pirate ship all with nooks and alcoves, small decorative details that made it all the more realistic. For the fun part there were crocheted kraken plushies scattered through the room and San didn’t doubt that the other rooms would have their own secret. San wished he felt well enough to explore them.
He stayed sitting there until the cameraman, who he had forgotten had followed him, hesitantly spoke up. He was a new guy, so San wasn’t really familiar with him. “San-ssi? Shouldn’t you like walk around and look for the patch? It’s going to be boring if you just sit here.”
San shook his head. “That isn’t my mission”, he said and the cameraman nodded in agreement.
⌛
Despite his most fervent wishes that staying still might help, it did not. San wasn’t sure if the pain was getting worse or if now that he had nothing else to concentrate on made it even less bearable. Maybe it was a mix of both. Pressing the pillow against his abdomen helped for a bit but every time his grip loosened the pain got worse.
He was even contemplating asking the director to sit out but he didn’t want to be a problem. Cutting a member out was always a hassle and he didn’t want to worry ATINY.
Then Seonghwa came in. “Here you are, San-ah”, he said, then mustered him thoroughly. He knelt down beside San and took his hand in his. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
San nodded but apparently it wasn’t convincing at all.
“What’s the matter?”, Seonghwa asked, gesturing at the cameramen to stop filming. “Is your stomach still hurting?”
“...yeah”, San admitted, “it’s really not liking me, hyung.”
“Oh, poor you”, Seonghwa mumbled, tethering on the edge of babying him. San found he barely minded. “Do you want to sit out on filming? I’m sure we can work out something.”
“I don’t want to disappoint ATINY. This seems like it’s going to be a fun episode”, San reluctantly mumbled.
“ATINY cares more about your health. We can have a notice saying you weren’t feeling well today, or as long as you need. All of us have sat out during filming before. You know that the fans will be sad but worried, never disappointed”, Seonghwa said gently.
“I … okay”, San mumbled, “I really just want to sit and not be filmed.”
“Alright, come on.”
Carefully Seonghwa helped him to his feet. Never once did San let go of the pillow. It really was a comfort item at the moment, if he couldn’t have Shiber this needed to be enough. Seonghwa wrapped an arm around his shoulders and led San through the set. In the room San had passed through earlier, Wooyoung and Yunho were chasing and laughing at Jongho who was wearing a pirate hat and holding onto it for dear life. Hongjoong was … was he sporting a hand drawn eyepatch?
“What’s going on?”, the captain asked as they emerged, rushing over to meet them half-way.
“San-ah isn’t feeling so good, he’s going to sit out the rest of the filming”, Seonghwa explained. Hongjoong looked heartbroken - a stark contrast to his comically painted face - likely very worried, but nodded. He brushed back a strand of San’s hair and whispered: “Feel better, baby.”
“Thanks, hyung”, San mumbled and let Seonghwa pull him with him until they arrived in the crew room. Immediately they were swarmed by managers fussing over San. While it was a bit overwhelming it was also comforting.
Seonghwa explained the situation again and the director quickly agreed to let San stay in there with a manager to watch over him. Seonghwa, however, was required to go back to filming. Five minutes later San was settled laying down on a couch, the pillow still in his grip and pain meds taken. Over a screen he was even able to watch the different cameras and a manager had even procured some crackers and plain food for him, even a cup of tea.
⌛
San was already half-asleep when the mission announcement came with a gleeful Wooyoung having won the captain mission. As Hongjoong reluctantly had to call him captain, he looked like he was biting on a lemon and regretting all his life choices. It was very funny and ATINY would love it, San was sure of it.
Then the secret missions were revealed, not one mention of San. His sudden missing would probably be edited in as a text notice. Despite feeling awful, San was interested in the reveals and with a groan he sat up to watch the screen.
The first one to hold out his piece of paper into the camera was Hongjoong. “I had to draw an eyepatch on a member”, the captain explained, “it never specified it couldn’t be me and I really don’t want to do the penalty. So my dignity, along with my title, is gone.” Yeosang and Jongho cheered, happy to see Hongjoong so defeated but Yunho protested that it was cheating. In the end, Wooyoung used his captain privileges to decide that Hongjoong had passed the mission, explaining he did not want to be in Hongjoong’s bad cards when he got his title back the next day. Well, even more than he already was.
Then it was Wooyoung’s turn, who had managed to put a gold coin sticker on every members’ phone, causing them to pull out their phones in astonishment. All except for Yunho who frantically started patting his pockets until Seonghwa pulled it out of his own pocket, causing yelling. Especially once Wooyoung realized that Seonghwa had peeled off the sticker, thinking it was Yunho’s mission.
The eldest had successfully stolen something from every member. He held up Hongjoong’s hair clip, Yeosang’s hair tie, one of Mingi’s socks (which Mingu somehow hadn’t even noticed get stolen?), Wooyoung’s ring and Jongho’s Jjongbear keychain, causing the maknae to pout and try to steal his son back. Then, lastly, he pulled out one of San’s bracelets. Bastard. He hadn’t even noticed that that had been Seonghwa’s first move. Wooyoung quickly got used to his power surge and decided his own (since the sticker had been one the phone at some point) and Seonghwa’s mission a success.
Yunho, a bit annoyed but still happy enough, announced he had managed to turn around every pistol in every room but then he was shown a video of Jongho, who must have figured out his mission, turning them back. Wooyoung decided it was a failed mission, causing Yunho to shout in defeat and trying to argue that then Wooyoung’s mission was a failure too. But he was not captain.
Yeosang had not managed to initiate a sword fight between two members, so he, like Yunho would receive the penalty. Mingi also hadn’t found the secret treasure chest he was supposed to find and was the third to fail.
Lastly, Jongho had indeed managed to wear the pirate hat for the right amount of time, he had already been at minute eight of ten of wearing the hat when he was discovered and had successfully defended his accessory for the next two minutes.
⌛
The rest of the filming San dozed on the couch, only waking up when he turned in his sleep which caused his stomach to twinge painfully. The pain meds hadn’t seemed to help. Once or twice, he thought Hongjoong and Seonghwa peaked in on him, but he wasn’t sure. At some point a manager woke him up to make him eat a bowl of soup but he was barely awake for that and quickly dozed off again.
San did wake up, however, when his shoulder was shaken gently. He couldn’t suppress the whine in his throat when his stomach was jostled. A hand came to rest against his forehead.
“He’s running a fever”, a voice whispered.
“What are we gonna do?”, another voice asked.
“Management decided we don’t need to film tonight”, the first voice said, “let’s just get him to bed.”
At the promise of sleep on an actual bed, San opened his eyes.
“Hey, baby”, Hongjoong greeted, smiling at him gently. Even despite his grogginess and the disorientation San was able to spot the poorly hidden concern. “How are you feeling?”
“My stomach still hurts”, San admitted. There was no use in lying. “I don’t feel good, hyungs.” Behind Hongjoong Seonghwa waved at him, looking as worried as the captain, if not more.
“Hm, you’re also running a fever, San-ah”, Hongjoong said, “manager-hyung said he’ll take you to hospital tomorrow if you don’t feel better or if your fever gets higher than 38.6°C at some point.”
“Okay”, San mumbled, “can I sleep more now?”
“We need to go back to the house they rented for us. It’s a ten minute drive. Do you think you can handle it?”, Hongjoong asked.
“Anything to sleep”, San said, pushing himself upright. Immediately his stomach protested and he doubled over, pressing his arms against his abdomen. Oh, fuck, it hurt.
“You’ve been sleeping all day, San-ah, and you’re in pain”, Seonghwa said, then turned to Hongjoong. “Shouldn’t we bring him to the hospital now? That can’t be normal.”
San nearly hoped Hongjoong said ‘yes’.
“No, let’s … let’s wait. Going to the hospital is a big hustle and I don’t want ATINY to see him like this. Don’t worry, if he really needs to go, I’ll make it happen.”
⌛
The drive to the house was horrible. San sat flanked by his oldest hyungs, both of them holding onto him. He had his face buried in Seonghwa’s shoulder, despite the pain it brought, it brought more comfort. The street to the house was not in a good condition and the constant up and down left San on the verge of tears.
By the time they arrived San looked at Seonghwa with pleading eyes and soon he was lifted into Yunho’s strong arms, his hyung holding onto him tightly.
Settled down on the couch, Yunho didn’t leave his side, instead choosing to run his fingers through San’s hair. He had been tasked with sticking a thermometer into San’s mouth the moment they had arrived and now it beeped.
“38.8°C, jeez, you’re not kidding around”, Yunho commented, putting it aside. “Hyungs said to keep you awake for now. You won’t be able to sleep through the night if you sleep all day.”
San doubted that. He was so tired. Next to the stomach ache and the fever that Seonghwa had easily diagnosed by laying his hand against San’s forehead in the car, he had acquired an unsettling feeling in his stomach that with his current state of being was a sure sign that something would want out of his body in either or both directions at some point. He already dreaded that, moving seemed too much of an effort.
“But I’m so tired”, San whined. He was aware of how pitiful he sounded but he couldn’t care less. He just wanted to feel better now.
“I know, kiddo”, Yunho mumbled, sounding a bit overwhelmed. Tears gathered in San’s eyes and before he could stop them they flowed down his hot cheeks. “Oh, San-ah, don’t cry, please.”
San couldn’t help it though and more and more tears gathered in his eyes and then he was full-on crying. Yunho did his best to comfort him, cradling him as much as he could without hurting San, and wiping away the frustrated tears with the sleeves of his shirt. His whole body was shaking from the force of the sobs and it was starting to upset his stomach even worse.
Oh no. San felt himself flush, embarrassment coloring his cheeks. Sure, they all had been sick in front of each other before but some things weren’t meant to be shared. Besides, he could already imagine how badly it would hurt.
“Yunho, where are the others?”, he asked frantically.
Yunho frowned but quickly counted on his fingers: “Let’s see, Wooyoung-ah was tasked by Seonghwa to cook, I think he, Seonghwa and Yeosang are in the kitchen. Hongjoong and Jongho are preparing the rooms and Mingi is taking a shower, as far as I know.”
Shit.
“Do we have a second bathroom?”, San questioned, already pushing himself up. He was running out of time, his stomach cramping badly.
“Uh, I don’t know? I can get you a bucket?”, Yunho said, eyes wide.
“No, I need a bathroom”, San insisted, flushing and feeling more tears prickle at his eyes again.
“Oh. Oh, okay, come on”, Yunho said and quickly lifted San to his feet, guiding him into a hallway San hadn’t seen yet.
“Hyung?”, Yunho called and immediately Hongjoong stuck his head out of one of the rooms.
“Yunho-yah?”, he asked, then mustered San who had pressed himself into Yunho’s side. “San-ah, what’s…?”
“Is there a second bathroom?”, Yunho interrupted him, not caring about honorifics at all.
“Oh, no, I don’t think so?”, Hongjoong said, paling himself. He clearly understood what nobody said out loud.
“Damn, okay, hold on, San-ah”, Yunho said and handed San over to their captain, Hongjoong holding onto San tightly. The younger could only curl up into himself, a hand on his stomach and begging that he could make it. Hongjoong whispered gentle reassurances at him but San was barely able to focus on anything but his stomach throwing a fit.
“Mingi, get the fuck out of the bathroom now”, Yunho called and pounded on the door, “and I mean now, it’s San-ah.”
To their utmost relief Mingi seemed to have just finished his shower as the door unlocked not ten seconds later and he hurried out, dripping water everywhere and hastily wrapping a towel around his waist.
San didn’t have it in him to wait any longer and pushed past the stunned members, fumbling to lock the door before his stomach revolted.
⌛
Twenty minutes later he dragged himself out of the bathroom, Seonghwa waiting for him, sitting on the floor by the entrance to the living room. San leant against the hallway wall, his hands pressed against his cramping stomach and just blinked at his hyung. He was so drained and his whole body was in shut-down mode. He was covered in sweat, the humid heat of an after-shower bathroom not helping his situation at all, and ready to collapse to the floor and just pass out. He was so exhausted he couldn’t even really feel embarrassed anymore though Seonghwa’s presence itself was a confirmation that all members knew how he had suffered.
“Hey, baby”, Seonghwa said and jumped to his feet, not hesitating to wrap San in his arms despite how disgusting he himself felt.
“Hyung”, he whined, pressing his face into Seonghwa’s chest, taking comfort in the way Seonghwa rubbed his hand up and down his spine.
“You’re so sick”, the eldest mumbled, worry oozing from his words. “The managers will take you to the hospital if you want to go, Hongjoong called them. Your fever is higher than we expected and you’re so unwell.”
If he had the capacity, San would have broken down at that statement. The members knowing was one thing but management? He liked the managers a lot but it was still a sensitive issue. Now, all he could do was shake his head against Seonghwa’s shoulder.
“I just want to sleep, hyung. Can I go tomorrow if I don’t feel better?”, he asked, biting his lip. He didn’t think he could handle a hospital trip at all. All the waiting, sitting around on uncomfortable chairs, prodded by nurses and doctors alike and given medication via an IV he didn’t want? All of that without one of his hyungs by his side? No, he couldn’t do it.
“Yeah, we can do that”, Seonghwa said, sounding a bit unhappy with San’s decision, “or if you feel like you need to go tonight, we’ll make it happen.”
“Thanks, hyung.”
Seonghwa pulled away from him and pressed a gentle kiss against San’s head. “You don’t have to thank me, baby. Come on, let’s go sit down.”
⌛
Once he was placed on the couch again, sandwiched between Seonghwa and Yunho, Hongjoong appeared from the kitchen where Yeosang, Wooyoung, Mingi and Jongho apparently were eating. He was carrying a bowl of soup and San felt himself pale. While his lower stomach had calmed down, nausea had taken its place and he didn’t feel up to eating. At all.
“I’m not hungry”, San mumbled, eyes slipping shut. He was so tired, eating and fighting nausea were too much of an effort. Yunho, having seen how tightly San had hugged the pillow earlier, handed it back to him and San curled over it, the pressure relieving some of the pain. While it was just a random pillow stolen from a random set it was the cuddle buddy he had, Shiber still tucked in San’s bed back at the dorm.
“Please, San-ah, just a few bites”, Hongjoong said, close to begging. His eyes were shining from worry and he was speaking in a tone of voice more appropriate for shy baby animals.
“Hyungie”, San pleaded, voice breaking. He didn’t want to eat.
“San-ah, baby, you need nutrients. You barely ate anything today and you're losing too many fluids with the sweating and … your stomach issues”, Seonghwa insisted, brushing back a strand of San’s hair. “Please.”
“Okay”, San agreed. He wanted to fight his hyungs even less than he wanted to eat.
The relieved atmosphere didn’t hold on long. The moment Seonghwa lifted a spoon to San’s lips and the soup flowed into his mouth, San’s body took over control. The salty taste of the light broth was enough to trigger his gag reflex and he heaved. Nothing came up, his stomach not triggered enough but the soup in his mouth dribbled down his chin partly onto Seonghwa’s hand.
The oldest quickly pulled away, mindlessly wiping his dirtied hand on his trousers. It was, after all, just the soup San hadn’t even managed to swallow down and Seonghwa had dealt with worse and more disgusting situations before. Embarrassed tears shot into San’s eyes but Seonghwa shushed him.
“Okay, okay, you don’t need to eat”, Hongjoong assured quickly, likely seeing how San’s eyes had turned teary again. He reached across the small TV table and wiped San’s chin with a tissue he had procured from somewhere.
“Can I go to sleep now?”, San begged, not caring about the disgusting taste in his mouth or the churning in his stomach.
“Do you want to take a shower or anything?”, Yunho asked, tilting his head so he could look San in the eyes.
He shook his head. “Just sleep, please.”
“Alright”, Hongjoong agreed with a sigh, “who do you want to come with you, Seonghwa or Yunho? I can come too, but I need to keep management up to date first.” The captain sounded heartfelt sorry, probably wanting nothing more than to comfort his dongsaeng himself. But he couldn’t.
That still left San with the choice between the other two. Seonghwa seemed the obvious choice, the eomma-hyung, the one San always wanted close when ill and who knew what to do in every situation. But he also missed sharing a room with Yunho since their move into different dorms and Yunho was the perfect person for hugs with his huge frame and comforting hugs.
He looked between the two of them indecisively, until Hongjoong giggled a bit. “You three are all tall but I think the bed might actually fit all three of you, if you want.”
“Can we do that?”, San asked, eyes wide and mentally pleading with them to say yes.
“Yey, sleep over”, Yunho said, enthusiasm in his voice, and Seonghwa nodded. “Do you want me to carry you?”
San hesitated for a moment but then nodded shyly. Walking all the way across the hall to the bedrooms seemed so far, so he wrapped his arms around Yunho’s neck and rested his head against his shoulder.
⌛
Seonghwa insisted on making San change into sleep clothes and gargle some mouthwash since he didn’t feel up to brushing his teeth. San let him do what he pleased, staying limp like a ragdoll against Yunho’s side. Finally he was allowed to lay down. The bed felt like heaven. Sure, he probably could have slept on hard concrete and found it amazing but San was just glad to not have to hold himself upright.
“Do you want to sleep in the middle?”, Yunho asked carefully, “or would you prefer a side?”
San gave it a bit of thought. He did want the comfort of his hyungs, both of them. But the way his stomach felt and had already acted up he thought the side of the bed was probably safer. So he just rolled to the side and reached out to Yunho. “Cuddle me?”, he asked his tallest member, craving his embrace.
“Of course”, Yunho agreed and laid down next to San, gathering him in his arms. “Sleep well, San-ah. Wake us up if you need us.”
⌛
Sleep was not nearly as healing as they had hoped. Quite on the contrary. He couldn’t have been asleep for too long, he thought, but Yunho and Seonghwa were both asleep next to him. San had desperately wished to sleep through the night and wake up feeling much better but apparently it wasn’t to be so.
He didn’t have to wait long to figure out what had caused him to wake up. A sharp pain, worse than anything he had ever felt before, shot through his stomach and he instinctively curled into himself.
The next second his mouth started to salivate and his throat worked on its own. Before San knew what was really happening he scrambled to his feet, nearly crashing to the floor in his hurry and due to the weakness of his knees. Yet he knew he was about to throw up and he would not do that in bed. But he also didn’t want to be alone. He reached over and shook Yunho roughly, the older member nearly immediately sitting up.
“San-ah?”
“Help me”, San whimpered and pressed a hand to his lips. Vomit was already starting to fill his mouth and he knew he needed to get to the toilet right now. He stumbled from the room, not waiting for Yunho and crashed into the bathroom door before managing to open it. He didn’t even make it to the toilet, instead throwing himself at the sink.
Warm vomit sprayed from his mouth, coating the white porcelain. San didn’t even really remember eating much today but apparently it was enough to cause this. He gagged helplessly again and again, unable to even close his mouth. His throat kept working overtime and soon he felt the acrid sting of bile in his nose. A huge hand landed on his shoulder just as his knees buckled and somebody caught him.
Words were thrown above his head, two people talking to each other but he couldn’t distinguish the voices.
Another shooting pain went through his abdomen and then … it stopped. San would have nearly cried with relief if it didn’t scare him so much. Something felt wrong. Pain like that didn’t just stop.
“Hyungie?”, he asked, letting himself go slack, trusting that he would be caught. “Can you take me to the hospital?”
⌛
San drifted between consciousness and sleep.
He didn’t know where he was.
But it didn’t hurt.
Sometimes a familiar voice was there, or two.
He, at times, could even make out some words but it didn’t make sense.
Somebody was holding his hand.
It was nice.
⌛
Hongjoong never ever wanted to be awoken like that again, Seonghwa running into the room he shared with Jongho and Mingi, flipping on the lights and crying.
All drowsiness left as his mind made sense of the words “San-ah”, “unconscious”, “hospital”.
He didn’t even care to call the managers, he dialed the emergency number and pressed the phone into a shocked Jongho’s hand. While he was the youngest, Jongho would be best at staying calm and level headed, though he wasn’t very familiar with caring for sick members.
As he burst into the bathroom behind Seonghwa, Hongjoong found a teary Yunho holding an unconscious San in his arms. The youngest of them was pale, though his face was flushed red. Fever radiated from his skin, hotter than he had felt all day.
Yunho told them how he was woken by San asking for help and running to the bathroom, he himself bolting behind the sick member to find him being violently sick. Seonghwa had just arrived when San just fell over, unconscious, after asking to be taken to the hospital.
Hongjoong stayed kneeling beside the sick man, stroking back sweat-soaked hair and shushing his whimpers. He stayed there when Jongho entered, clutching Mingi’s hand and informing them that an ambulance was on the way and that the managers would meet them there. He stayed there when Yeosang stumbled inside, worried after hearing the commotions. He stayed there until the paramedics arrived and Seonghwa gently pulled him into his arms.
“Did he ever have his appendix out?”, one paramedic asked. Jongho gasped.
Hongjoong was filled with dread, memories long buried resurfacing.
Being so sick himself, throwing up in a meeting with the CEO. Unable to keep anything down and the high fever. Vomiting up blood on the drive to the hospital and the danger of sasaengs.
Subconsciously he grasped Seonghwa’s hand tighter as he denied the question.
“You think it’s appendicitis?”, Seonghwa asked, seemingly remembering the same things as Hongjoong.
“I think his appendix ruptured”, the paramedic said, “we’ll rush him to the hospital now.”
“Can I… can I come with you?”, Hongjoong asked quietly. He couldn’t stand the thought of letting a member this sick out of his sight.
The paramedic nodded and within a minute San was strapped onto the gurney and Hongjoong found himself in the back of an ambulance, clutching his dongsaeng’s hand tightly.
He couldn’t tell how long the drive was, suddenly San was wheeled through doors he wasn’t allowed through and then he was pulled into an embrace by the manager-noona who was waiting for him.
A doctor asked them into an office and Hongjoong was barely able to follow the conversation between the two managers and the doctor. He kept playing with one of the rings he had forgotten to take off before bed and only looked up when he saw the male manager sign a document.
“Surgery”, the noona whispered, apparently noticing how spaced out Hongjoong was, and rubbed his upper arm in comfort. “Don’t worry, you know it’s a standard routine.”
If he hadn’t been so focused on staring at his own lap and blinking back tears he would have seen the doctor open his mouth to protest and then think better of it.
⌛
Filming went on the next day. They were all paid actors and they knew well enough that the show needed to go on. The manager who had stayed at the hospital with San kept sending them updates and finally they received the message that he had woken up.
The director had pity on them and decided to cut out some content so they could leave earlier. Not even half an hour after the relieving message came through they were squeezed in two vans and on the way to the hospital, even Wooyoung insisting on coming despite his emetophobia and hate for hospitals in general.
San was incredibly groggy when they arrived but was smiling ear to ear as he saw them. Not even the nasal cannula dimmed his smile. Mingi and Yeosang had even ducked into the hospital gift shop and bought a plushy which San immediately wrapped into his arms. Wooyoung jumped over his own shadow and hugged San closely, never once leaving his side for more than a few steps at a time. Seonghwa, after hugging San to his heart’s content, pulled Wooyoung on his lap, sitting on one of the provided chairs.
“How are you feeling, baby?”, Hongjoong asked, sitting down on the bed beside the younger. San was still pale and slightly feverish but the manager assured them that the doctors thought he was healing well.
“Tired but it doesn’t hurt anymore”, San said weakly, smiling. “Why did it stop hurting, hyung? I don’t really remember anything after going to bed, just that the pain went away somehow stuck.”
“Your appendix burst, San-ah”, Yunho explained, having spent every minute of the filming breaks online and researching until Jongho had confiscated his phone. “That’s when the pain went away.”
“Oh”, San said, “I don’t think that was good?”
“Not at all”, Jongho added, still looking a bit frightened. Seonghwa had reported that while he had managed to get Mingi and Yunho to cuddle up together and they fell asleep eventually last night he had stayed up for a long time with the worried maknae.
“It’s over now, though”, Hongjoong soothed, “it’s healing well and that’s all that matters. Soon you’ll be able to join us again.”
San gave them the widest smile.
Notes: for the lovely and amazing @dudadragneel who requested this ages ago 💜 also check out her blog!
Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's Masterlist - ATEEZ
