“Hi, I’m Connie—loving wife, daughter, and adjunct equine history professor. On April 21, I first noticed several swollen lumps on the sides of my neck. After extensive testing of my symptoms by means of repeated Google searches for “huge lumps neck cancer dying,” I’ve been self- diagnosed with a very rare and aggressive tumor that typically only exists in sharks (and/or a mild sinus infection). Please give whatever you can spare to my attached GoFundMe, toward what I can only imagine will be astronomical medical bills.” . “Hi everyone, Geoff here. Thanks for checking in on my arduous journey as I bravely battle Intermittent Malaise Disorder. As I mentioned 38 posts ago, and then again 17 posts ago, and also 4 posts ago, IMD is so rare it isn’t yet officially recognized by the American Medical Association or Google. That’s why Facebook groups like these are so important, so we can share our symptoms and many, many, many setbacks. So far all we definitely know about the disease is that it seems to target middle-aged Caucasian men making between 58-81k per year named Stephen, Carter or Geoff (never Jeff, perhaps tellingly). It generally presents with intermittent pangs of a vague, almost imperceptible malaise that even our GMC Sonoma Touring Edition or our designer clothing (Chaps by Ralph Lauren) can’t overcome. Attacks generally happen at the DMV, while re-watching the 2015 Orange Bowl on our DVR, or anytime we go without speaking for more than 45 seconds in any business meeting. We’re conducting additional clinical trials in my neighbor Stephen’s three-car garage so we can be freed from this hell. I’m so frazzled, I barely eaked out a full 36 holes this morning.” . Article by @brookeapreston #fbgroup #facebookgroup #sickfeed #healthanxiety #tmi https://www.instagram.com/p/BzOJUAUgRNQ/?igshid=1gd02w8jjwack
