#sidesight

[sidereal-sightings]

.a return to form.

.This was a piece I made for an assignment during my previous semester's art course. We were asked to make a collage, self portrait piece of art that was inspired by the work of Henri Matisse.

.I made this piece to represent me embracing myself, and who I am. Every aspect of my being, especially the ones that evoked joy and whimsy. Here is an excerpt from the essay I wrote:

"The stars are an extension of my soul, literally bursting out of the chest of the human figure that is meant to represent me. The variety of hues of the stars symbolize the many facets of my inner world and personality, while the saturation of the colors is meant to evoke a sense of whimsy and playfulness."

.And I think it's very important to make the distinction that, while this is, in many ways, a reflection of my other identity, it's also very grounded in the human concepts of journey and finding oneself again. Especially right now, as the culture around us is steeped in shame and hate. That is one piece of my journey to rediscovery, and ultimately my celestial return that I've already managed to figure out. Rebuffing shame, embracing whimsy.

.Because I think it that being aware and actively nurturing the parts of me that exist in human form are important. Being a celestial is a wonderful thing. I am wholly a star, that's a fact. But at this moment, I am living in a world that will impact me, whether I like it or not. I will internalize, whether I want to or not, unless I build up the strength to be who I am. And tending to my body and brain, my heart and the part of my spirit that is forever touched by the others I've shared this planet with for the last few decades.

The full essay also goes into my artistic process. If you're interested in seeing that published here, do let me know ^^.

Light and mass ﹒⊹﹆ֹ

[sidereal-sightings]

I can see the light seeping from the pores of your body. In the reflection of your eyes, I see my own light, flittering and dancing from behind my teeth, daring to blind you should I open my mouth and speak our unspoken truth.

I see you, celestial creature. I know you, divine thing. I love you, cosmic wonder.

[sidereal-sightings]

Mortal death scares the living daylights out of me. But the concept of star death is so innate and natural in our solar cycle, the thought is almost comforting.

In part, it might be that the matter that makes up my form doesn't just disappear. It disipates, scatters. My kinetic energy travels on and on until something else comes along to collect it. Then that energy is dispersed out into the cosmic landscape at large.

Maybe it's the infinity. The great, ever stretching infinity we all hail from. It, in and of itself, is a form of immortality. The science of my spiritual existence is comforting.

Even this mortal flesh doesn't simply rot into nothing. It will decay, and rejoin this planet's life cycle. And when something inevitably comes along to eviscerate this beloved terrestrial, it too, will join the cosmic landscape.

It too, becomes infinity.

And all that which I will mourn will inevitably become one with me again.

But generally speaking, stars just kinda die. And I think I'm okay with that.

[sidereal-sightings]

I'm so deeply in love with the moon. And I don't mean that in a "oh she's so pretty" way. I'm wholeheartedly in love with her. And she knows, this is no blushing secret. She's deeply admired, and truthfully, she's pretty graceful about it.

I'm not particularly polyamorous, but I will say, the fact that she's beloved by so many (the other stars, sol, mortal creatures) brings me great joy. Her majesty is very likely unanimously adored by any and everything that can perceive her. I think it is only natural and correct that she, effervescent and splendorous, is so cherished.

[sidereal-sightings]

.

As a star, I feel very fortunate for my friends and close loved ones. I have given up much of my vulnerability to them time and time again, and have found that they seem to know me before I ever have need to explain myself.

Many of them are aware, to some level, that I am celestial and Sidereal being. Granted, a few of them aren't entirely aware of the fact that I am a star, but I have been called "cosmic" and a "star/celestial thing" before by friends who aren't fully in the know. And I cherish the acknowledgement dearly.

I likely could tell them precisely what I am. Sirius a, a wishing star, an observer. However, I like my worlds categorized into cubbies, to overlap when I am ready and comfortable. Even so.. they know. I am known. And I am richer for it.

[sidereal-sightings]

I identify closely with Sirius a, but I wonder if I am precisely that star. It is hard to tell, given the nature of my being, the organic matter of this planet that has crossed with my celestial form, making me simultaneously of Earth and of stars, at least until my soul peels from my dear flesh.

I know a few things for certain: I am a star, I am an archivist, and I am a wishing star belonging to a constellation of other wishing stars. I am the right hand, and dedicated devotee to the moon, and as such, I'm granted privileges and abilities related to my position and status, through our relationship. I am a deity with dominion over death, passion, and whimsy (amongst a couple of other things). And for the time being, the moniker Sirius a feels correct and appropriate.

I am protective over my identity, what it means for me to exist as I do, and my specifics surrounding my origins, particularly the latter as I've not sorted that bit out yet. But that is part of the point of me being here in the first place. To be ignorant, to learn, to grow. I'll continue to wonder for now.

[sidereal-sightings]

Light and mass. It's the phrase in my bio, because it is what I'd consider the epitome of what it is to be a star, in my opinion anyways.

I think it's the thing I admire about them the most. I also think it does stem from a fascination with stellar mortem, as I've been known to wax poetic about that.

And how could I not? To burn to brightly, so incredibly, that you must burn your own mass. The passion of your existence is so great, you must cannibalize yourself in order to accommodate it. Until slowly, then all at once, you die. And yes, the way each star dies relies on factors like size and relative mass and elemental composition. But the fact is, at some point, we all give way to gravity, ending our beautiful displays.

And I am in part excited for mine. Not because. I necessarily want to die. But because to burn bright, at the height of my passion, at the pinnacle of existence, is precisely what I exist to do. To die a star's death is the ultimate testament to a life lived in that exact way.

What a tremendous honor.

[sidereal-sightings]

I wonder what other celestials/sidereals/starkin refer to space as? I love "the infinity", it feels the most appropriate to me.