Siegemas Day 20 - A crack on the mask
Prompt: “I’m really nervous to meet your family…”
I swear it’s just wholesomeness and supporting each other, coming from two very different people.
Thank you so much @r6shippingdelivery and @freedert95 for being amazing humble betas as always. I couldn’t do it without you two <3
The freshly fallen snow was creaking under his military boots as he was walking towards the big house with the young pine tree in front of it - his destination. The weather was a mess here, sweating hot in the capital city, but the moment he stepped outside of the concrete jungle, his hands started to shake.
As he was getting closer and closer, the building seemed bigger and bigger as well, and his hands were shaking just a little bit more. Maybe it wasn’t even about the weather?
He glanced down at the box, which he held in hands and let out a small sigh, fidgeting with one of the corners until he heard a small snort, coming from his left. He turned his face towards the woman, walking almost shoulder to shoulder with him, and let out a little, weak “What?”
“Nothing special. It’s just still entertaining to watch you trying to function outside of your comfort zone.”
He felt a small blush spread on his cheeks. That, too, was just because of the weather. “It’s just cold. And we have been walking the past hour from the train. But I’m happy that at least you are enjoying yourself.”
The woman couldn’t hold back a small smile with a doubting shake of head, but both of them knew that she would not point out the way Vigil’s legs started to slow down a bit, as his knee got weaker and weaker. He wanted to lie, that it was about the weather as well, but he needed to face the truth: he was getting more and more anxious.
He glanced at the woman by his side again, who was the exact opposite: she was relaxed, more than ever, looking towards their destination with a fond smile on her lips. She looked at him, then back to the house. “Don’t look at me. I’m just so happy that you came with me after all. I would have been a bit sad, if you weren’t here. Happy, too, but mostly missing you.”
At that Vigil took an audible gulp with a soft nod, hugging his box closer to himself. He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down and nodded again, this time, to collect himself. It’s not like he didn’t know what was waiting for him in the house, it’s just- that he was scared shitless! How will he make a good impression? Will they like him? He honestly hoped so. He wanted to make it good. He wanted to make the woman proud.
A punch on his left shoulder - coming from his company - woke him up from his daydreaming. It was so strong, he almost dropped the box, and he turned to face the woman, confusion all over his face. “Now why did I get that?!”
“You are overthinking it again! And don’t you dare lie about this, I know!”
There was a long moment of silence, as they were looking at each other, but then he just nodded. “Okay-okay. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize!” the woman soothed the punch on his shoulder with a grin. “Just stop it. I’m here, with you. I invited you, and nobody will question my choice. They know that I wouldn’t bring you home, if I wouldn’t at least like your stupid face!”
Vigil shook his head at that, now with a soft smile. “Okay, I got it.”
He looked up at the woman again, watching her features change as she looked around the familiar environment, how she lifted an eyebrow, how she rolled her eye on one smaller house with too much Christmas decoration and how her lips were always stretched into a smile. He had never seen Zofia this calm and collected, and honestly, he was so glad to see this side of her. She looked so happy, being back here, Vigil automatically felt himself relax at last.
He caught himself wondering how this all happened; him and the strongest woman he had ever met, getting this close.
He couldn't even remember how their friendship started. There was a huge argument that involved Blackbeard, Blitz, Zofia and of course, him. How did it go? He couldn't recall it anymore. It didn't even matter anymore!
All that mattered was that it was months ago, and that he felt sad and angry, having such a fight with the only person he felt completely calm around, then surprised, when all of a sudden, Zofia sat beside him, asking if he was okay.
He couldn’t even answer first, thinking about the unknown reasons for Zofia’s question. They had never really spoken before this occasion, they weren’t friends or anything. He might have been one of the few people who weren’t really afraid of the woman, also, he was in kind of good terms with Zofia’s troublemaker sister too. Vigil’s first guess was that the woman just wanted information about Ela from him, but he immediately knew that he would disappoint Zofia: being in good terms with Ela never meant that she liked you, it only meant that she thought of you as a golden trashbag surrounded by normal ones. That was just the way Ela saw the team. Vigil didn’t really care, he simply was glad that the younger didn’t feel the need to poke fun at him.
Weeks later Zofia told him why she asked him in the first place: the woman was worried. As a participant of the argument, she was watching the reactions of Blackbeard and Vigil during the conflict and she somehow felt that the latter was very upset. When he questioned Zofia, she just shrugged and offered a smile. “Honestly? I don’t know. All the other time you look like nothing is able to get close to you, but that argument hit you in your soft spots. I remember, your hands were shaking a bit.”
For somebody who is as used to being unreadable as Vigil, this was like a punch in the face. Being exposed was always his greatest weakness. He knew, he could just wave it off, tell Zofia that it was only her imagination, but anxiety was already sitting on his shoulders, whispering shit into his ears, to tip him off again. Zofia turned away, and he looked down on his hands, noticing they were shaking again. In an attempt to hide his discomfort, he hid his hands under the table, focusing on calming himself down, but it didn’t work. If Zofia found him out this easy, then probably the others were reading him like an open book as well.
Zofia looked at him again, her eyes narrowing instantly. She glanced down, like she could see under the table, then she placed a mug of fresh tea in front of Vigil with a small smile. “You don’t need to hide it. I only knew, because I wanted to know!”
Vigil lifted his eyebrow, still not showing his hands again. He was upset that his body was such a traitor. He blinked at his ballistic mask sitting next to him on the bench, a reached out for it silently, soothing his fingers on the cold, smooth material.
Watching his every moment, Zofia sighed. “You looked much like Ela looked, when we were little and our dad was shouting at her for not being, well, like me,” her voice was suddenly sad, fidgeting with his own mug.
Now that made Vigil look up, forgetting his mask immediately. He looked at Zofia’s hands, then at her eyes, trying to find what was in her head. The woman just sat there, staring back at him with a calm, but sad expression, and Vigil started to get confused. Why was she showing such a vulnerable side of her to him was something Vigil didn’t understand.
“I can hear the cogs turning in your head from here. If you want to ask, then do it.”
Clearing his throat, Vigil nodded. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I want to show you, that if you want to talk, I’m here to listen.”
“But I’m not your sister. And I will never be! I don’t even know anything about her.”
Lifting an eyebrow, Zofia leant against the back of her bench, looking at him with a frown now. “Yeah, you don’t really look alike.”
“Then why? I don’t really see any point in you talking to me other than getting intel from me about Ela’s doing, but I know what you already know: that she is not my friend. She might not hate me as much as she hates everybody else on base, but still-” Vigil finally felt harmony wash over him again, his hands stopped shaking, so he reached for his mug.
Zofia watched his movement, a smile spreading on her face again. “Will you believe me if I told you, I don’t actually care about Ela at the moment? Based on this monologue of yours, I predict that you must have been thinking about this question at least for a month, so allow me to clarify. I don’t hang out with you, because of Ela. If you were on good terms with her, that would make me happy, but I don’t select my own friends based on my sister’s interests.”
Vigil found himself frowning, so he quickly calmed his face. “Your own friends? Is this how you think about me?”
“Well, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked you to join me for tea or lunch every second day for the last two months!” Zofia snorted.
Blinking, Vigil looked into his mug to avoid eye-contact. “Friends?”
“Mhm.”
“Why?”
“Oh come on!” grinning, Zofia reached out to pat his shoulder. “I don’t know either, okay?”
“Elaborate.” Vigil glanced at her again.
Accepting that she can’t escape the answer, Zofia shrugged. “Sometimes I have so much stuff on my shoulders, it’s just nice to be with somebody who is as calm as you. Having a cup of coffee or anything with you is just nice. You are calming me down, that’s it.”
Vigil felt something move deep inside him, a small, but warm feeling. He watched Zofia, and nodded, then looked back into his mug. “That is sweet, but horseshit.”
Zofia burst out laughing, hiding her face in her palm, to calm herself down. Watching this reaction, coming from the usually collected army woman, Vigil found himself doing something he barely did: he smiled. It was little and hidden, in the corner of his mouth, but it was there.
Zofia noticed as well, and - even if she wanted to - she didn’t point it out. She smiled back at him and that was it. That was the start of their friendship, and Vigil soon realized how lonely he was without Zofia.
It was not like a shitty Hollywood movie, about how his life was sunshine and rainbows because of the woman, no. He loved to be alone, and he didn't even think about hanging out with Zofia all the time, neither did the woman. No. They were perfectly fine with how they were before, but spending some afternoons shoulder to shoulder, with a cup of whatever in hand, happened to be a life-saver sometimes.
It was not about the talk, or anything really - especially since Vigil barely started to speak about his day willingly - it was about the peace. Both of their lives were full of stress, anxiety and fight. Especially fight, against the White Masks or unknown terrorist organizations, fights against their teammates in tired, angry moments, and against themselves. In Vigil’s case, mostly against himself.
He struggled to let Zofia close for months, thinking about ways to escape, to run away from her. Why did he want to hide - that he didn’t even know, whenever he had the chance to have tea with Zofia, just to listen to her rambling about Valkyrie being an asshole again, or how her daughter improved in school, sometimes about she missing her husband. After a while Vigil caught himself actually asking about these, especially her family. It was so calming to listen to a woman, who loves her daughter and husband this much. He couldn’t even imagine how she managed to build him into her cramped timetable, but she always did. She always had time for him, and it made both of them so happy.
Zofia wasn’t always a delight, of course not. When she was tired or annoyed, she was so damn tiring. First, Vigil didn’t actually know how to react to Zofia’s endless sarcasm, so he took a step back, closing up a bit, but still stayed with the woman, listening to her banter. A few of these later, when they finally arrived home after a three week long mission, he had enough, and shouting he let Zofia know, that it was simply draining for him to listen sometimes, which made the woman lift her eyebrow, her face changing. Vigil waited, heart throbbing in his throat - as much as he wanted to hide it, he didn’t want to lose this friendship. It was strictly against his nature to attack somebody like this, but it needed to be done for better or worse. He didn’t even notice how his hands were shaking.
At that, Zofia burst out laughing, completely breaking Vigil’s anger in half - he got so confused all of a sudden, he was expecting a punch, instead this... joy? What the fuck?
Zofia wiped her tears, and stepping closer to him, she gently soothed a palm, on his face. “I didn’t know you were capable of shouting, Chul Kyung, I really didn’t!”
Completely struck, Vigil held onto her wrist, not strong, just to hold onto something, so he wouldn’t faint. “Aren’t you m-mad?”
“Why would I be mad? I’m grateful you told me, this means that you finally trust me enough to share your honest feelings, and that makes me happy. I’m sorry for pouring all of my stress on you, I shouldn’t have done it!”
Vigil was looking her in the eye, searching for any lie or doubt, but when he couldn’t find any, his lips were drawn to a small smile. Zofia grinned at him, and - for the first, but not the last - she hugged him close, patting along his back. Hating whenever a stranger touched him, Vigil expected that he was going to freak out, but he didn’t. He was surprised how easy it was to relax against Zofia, hugging her waist as well. And that was pretty much it: both of their anger and stress gone, in a second.
And Vigil finally understood.
It didn’t start because Zofia wanted to crack his shell. She was so loving and gentle inside, such a beautiful soul, she would never do such a thing. Okay, she might have wanted to, to some people, but she soon let go of this when it came to her sister, and she never even tried it on Vigil. No. It started with her needing somebody whom she could trust, and that surprisingly turned out to be Vigil.
Why? He didn’t know, and he caught himself thinking countless times, how he didn’t really want to know after all. It was a nice feeling, to be trusted like this, in good and bad as well, especially when he found out how Zofia worked.
During mid-august, Ela went on a mission, and it went as badly as possible; in fact, she needed to be rushed to a hospital the second they arrived back to England. Vigil was with Zofia, when she got the news, and of course, he couldn't let her go alone. Zofia was in shock - the mere thought of losing her sister made her sick no matter their current relationship.
Arriving at the hospital, an annoyingly calm doctor announced that Ela was on the operation table, and that they needed to wait. Maybe for minutes, maybe for hours, and with that, he was gone.
Zofia was trembling, in her anger at the doctor and worry about her sister, making every moment a real torture for her. Vigil didn’t know what to do, what to stay. He just stood there, watching his friend boil, not being able to help. The best he was capable of was to save the doctor from Zofia, who wanted to strangle the man with her bare hands if that meant she could save her sister. It didn’t, but she wanted to do something. Anything.
Vigil remembered this feeling, so similar to what he experienced years ago, but they always told him to keep silent. They never allowed him to let his anger out, and watching Zofia like this made his heart ache too. He stepped next to her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. “Come, sit down. Being angry will not solve anything…”
Flashing him a death stare, Zofia brushed off his hand. “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down, because I swear to God, I will punch you in the face!”
Counting the risks, Vigil nodded. “She will be alright, you know that too.”
“She has been shot in the chest three times! How can you say that she will be alright?!” Zofia snapped at him, trembling. “How can you tell me, that she will be alright?!”
“She has had worse,” Vigil looked at her, placing his hands on both of her shoulders. “She is just too stubborn to die, and you know that too. Come on, sit with me.”
Zofia looked up at him, eyes tired and worrying. “This is not- How can you- How dare you to-!? I don’t want to fucking sit down, I don’t want to fucking calm down! I want my sister be off of that goddamn operation table, and I want a stupid fucking doctor to come out and tell me that she is perfectly fine, and that this was just one of her stupid pranks!”
Vigil nodded, and took a deep breath, getting ready for what was coming. “And you know it’s not that. Please, just take a deep breath, and try to calm down!”
And there it was. Zofia’s fist swinging in the air, and meeting with his chin with so much force he needed to take a step back. After the first, came the second, and a third, Zofia hitting him wherever she reached, angry tears falling down her face. Vigil knew what was happening, and he knew that he would have a few ugly bruises, but it was okay. Zofia needed this, and he wanted to help.
A few punches later, as the anger and stress turned to tiredness, Zofia started to slow down, so Vigil stepped closer and hugged the furious woman to himself as much as he could, covering her as best as possible. Zofia, realising what this was all about, hugged him back, hiding in his whole presence. “I’m scared.”
“I know. I’m afraid as well,” he whispered, looking at the operation room’s door, still not letting go of Zofia’s still shaking body.
“What if I lose her? I’ve lost her once, and I wasn’t even able to make up for that, but if she di-”
“She won’t.”
“How can you know that?”
Vigil looked at her, with a small smile. “I told you, she is too stubborn to die from a ridiculous injury like this.”
“You don’t know that,” whispered Zofia, hiding her face into the crook of Vigil’s shoulder. “You can’t be sure of that, Chul Kyung…”
He didn’t answer to that, and both of them knew that he didn’t need to answer. Instead of talking, he hugged her as tight as possible, like he was afraid Zofia would fall into small pieces that instant.
They spent an eternity like this, clinging to each other. Vigil never let go, because Zofia needed him, and he needed her as well. After minutes or hours or weeks, when the woman was finally able to normalise her breaths, she let go. Zofia slowly wiped one tear down, looking at him. “Thank you.”
Vigil patted her shoulder gently. “You don’t need to thank me. I know you would have done the same.”
Zofia nodded slowly, allowing a small smile. “Still. I’m so grateful for you, Chul Kyung, I can’t even tell you!”
Vigil looked at her, not being able to deal with such a compliment, he looked away, with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You know-”
“Hm?” Zofia blew her nose.
“You are awful at saying my name,” he looked at the woman, whose eye went wide with that.
“W-what!? I’ve been pronouncing your name wrong for months, and you choose this time to point that out?!”
Vigil, biting into his bottom lip glanced away. “I didn’t want to stop you from trying…”
Hearing this, Zofia had the strangest reaction of all time- she started laughing. She was laughing so hard that fresh tears run down her face, as she was hugging Vigil once again, knowing that he would be by her side whenever she needed.
Ela didn’t die, of course, Vigil was so right in this: the woman was so damn stubborn to die like this.
She needed to spend about a month in the hospital, and she was as angry as ever, constantly fighting with the doctors, nurses and everyone who dared to make her stay. When she was finally out, Zofia was at last perfectly calm again. No matter their stupid war, they were still sisters, after all.
In the beginning of December, when Vigil told Zofia that he wasn’t able to fly back to Korea this year because of the mission on the 28th of December, Zofia, reasoning that Poland was closer than Korea, immediately invited him to spend Christmas with her and her family. Vigil felt thankful, but fearful at the same time. Spending the Holidays with the woman sounded undoubtedly fun, but her family- her daughter and husband- how do you act with people like them? How will he be able to hide his anxiety? Zofia reassured him, that it would be okay, and that she will protect him, so he agreed to come. He promised that he would visit his family the moment he gets back from his mission.
A few days before their trip, he caught Ela, alone in the kitchen, and asked her where would she spend the holidays. Ela shrugged, and told him that Lion asked her if she wanted to crash in his flat for a few days, so they can get wasted and cry about life being unfair to them.
With a doubting rise of his eyebrow, Vigil told Ela that he was going to spend Christmas with Zofia, and that she should come too. He learnt about the Christmas traditions of Poland, when he wanted to ‘punch’ information out of Zofia about what kind of present he should bring, he knew that they usually put an extra tableware for unexpected visitors. He told Ela that Zofia would be happy to see her. They had never talked about this, but come on, he knew Zofia more than enough now to know that Ela visiting would be the greatest present to her. He told Ela that she can’t leave Lion behind, so Vigil simply asked her to invite Lion as well.
He liked Lion, he was sure they could make it good.
Ela, struck by Vigil’s stupid idea waved him off, telling him that she won’t come. “Zofia doesn’t want me to ruin her Christmas with her perfect family, and she already has you, so- no. That’s not a good idea.”
Nodding, Vigil let her go, and went back to finish packing. He was very excited and terrified at the same time, but he trusted Zofia more than anybody. On the morning of the 23th of December, he picked up his bag and the box of cake he picked as a present, and met with Zofia, ready to travel across Europe with her.
When they stepped into Poland, he felt his anxiety rise again, but he trampled down the feeling. They got on a train, and after one and a half hours of sleeping on each other's shoulder, they were here, walking towards the beautiful house with the young pine tree in front of it, together.
This was the moment he noticed Zofia snapping her fingers in front of his face. “We are here, sweetheart, are you with me?”
Blinking the memories out of his eyes, he looked at the woman. “Sorry, I was just- thinking.”
“Your hands are shaking again, are you okay?”
"Just the usual anxiety, don't worry!" sighed Vigil, but when Zofia opened the gate leading into the garden, he still couldn't move.
Zofia looked back at him. "What's in your mind? Wanna tell me?"
“It's nothing, I’m just…”
“‘I’m really nervous to meet your family…?’” Zofia offered with a gentle smile. Of course she knew. She knew him better than he knew himself.
Vigil nodded slowly. "I mean- Your husband might hate me, your daughter only speaks Polish, which I don't, and I just- I want them to like me!"
With a fond smile, Zofia stepped outside again, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. They know everything about you. I have told them how you are my best friend, how you helped me, how you keep me company in even the worst times, how important you are to me and how much I love you. Trust me. They know."
Suddenly struck by all this, Vigil couldn't even answer. After a long pause, he slowly nodded, tranquility washing over him, and stepped inside the garden with his bag and box in hand.
Hearing all this coming from the woman made him unspeakably happy. He felt pretty much the same towards her.
She was his anchor, she was his way to hide from the rest of the team. She was there when he was sad, angry or anxious, always steady, always stable, to help him forget the bad and concentrate on the good. Zofia was somebody he didn't miss before he knew her, but now couldn't live without her. She was his better part, companion and best friend, and for that, he was forever grateful.
Their Christmas started off perfectly. Zofia's husband was funny, and straightforward, just like she was. He wasn't afraid to make jokes and thankfully he put Vigil at ease without too much effort. Vigil liked him.
Their daughter, who he couldn't really understand, was adorable and loud, a perfect mix between her two parents. She was chatting, always bombing him with her adorable chirping, no matter their language difference. He liked the little girl as well, even though he didn't understand anything.
The Christmas preparation went as smooth as possible, from the decoration of the tree to the cooking. Vigil was able to help with the food as well, enjoying the mixed scents of all different dishes.
When they were preparing the table for the Christmas feast, they put on one extra tableware as well, because of the old Polish tradition. Vigil thought that it was a nice gesture and he decided that he will do the same for the rest of his life, not caring about it not being a Korean tradition.
From the bottom of his heart, Vigil wished for that seat - and maybe even one more - to be filled soon, and he didn't even need to wait for too long.
In the middle of their twelve part Christmas feast, when Zofia was bringing in the fish stew and his husband was translating between Vigil and their daughter, they heard soft knocking on the door.
"Who can it be at this hour?" asked Zofia confused, putting down the food. She looked at her husband who simply shook his head, not having a single idea either.
Zofia then looked at Vigil, like he might know anybody from the Polish neighborhood, but he shrugged as well, getting to his feet, to go check on the door with the woman.
They heard the knocking again as they entered the hallway, so Zofia shouted a small “Coming.”, but glanced at Vigil again. “And you were mocking me the last time I told you about our extra seat tradition!”
Vigil offered a little smile. “I did not laugh. I find it adorable!”
Shaking her head, Zofia unlocked the door and opened it, immediately freezing to her place. Not because of the sudden gust of cold, but because of the two familiar faces she saw. Ela and Lion were standing in the doorway.
Vigil’s smile grew wider.
Zofia and Ela were staring at each other for so long, it started to feel awkward.
Getting anxious, Ela shakily cleared her throat, glancing away. “I know I said that I wouldn’t come, but… do you, by any chance, have two more seats for us..?”
When she realized what she heard, Zofia burst out laughing, and stepping closer, she hugged her sister in her arms immediately, a happy tear running down her face.
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I hope you enjoyed! <3