Whistling carelessly, Neil nods to Rob in the hallway as he passes by, then goes into their shared room. He sits down at his desk, retrieves a pen and paper, the whistling shifting to a hum.
Behind him, the door slams shut.
Oh, yes. Rob wanted to talk to him about something. Neil turns to sit on his chair backwards and says, "You seem a little testy."
Rob stands near the doorway, arms crossed, face impassive. "Would you care to explain who the hell you think you are?"
Funny how a cold voice makes someone seem (even) bigger. If Neil were a lesser person, he'd be intimidated. As it is, he just gets up and crosses his arms too. "I dunno, Bob. I wouldn't want to knock down your predetermined idea of who I am."
"For god's sake, drop your insufferable know-it-all attitude for one goddamn second." Rob, glaring now, steps forward— well, stomps, actually. "What are you doing with Eva and Roxanne?!"
Neil's genuinely confused. "What am I—" What is Rob talking about? Maybe... "Our free time overlapped today, so we took a walk together. That's not a crime now, is it? Roxie and Eva are birds of a feather nowadays, or haven't you noticed?"
"It's not simply today! Roxie has this look when she speaks to me about you, has for a week now. You're sweet on Eva all the damn time— don't start with me," Rob says when Neil tries to get a word in, "you two aren't nearly as subtle as you think you are— but then you send Roxie, I mean Roxanne, flowers? What the devil are you trying to pull, Watts?"
"Oh," Neil says. Then a smug slow grin as he realizes. "Oh. You aren't on your usual holier-than-thou tear. You're legitimately angry at me about this. Well," he scoffs and shrugs, arms raised, "it's not my fault you aren't clever enough to understand the intricacies of our relationship. Ironic, given you've been observing all three of us for as long as you have. Some might call that creepy."
He would have continued to pontificate except, in a viper-quick movement, Rob swoops forward and gets him pinned to the wall, arm barring his escape. Neil is abruptly and fully winded, a wheeze scraping from his throat.
"I'm not clever?" Staring Neil down point blank, Rob's fury is obvious. "Anyone with eyes can see you're leading them both on. You'll get your ego boost and then leave broken hearts in your wake."
Neil has a reply to that, but with Rob's arm pressing against his throat, he can't get words out. It's not like that.
"And when that happens, you... we'll all..." Rob shakes his head and holds Neil's gaze again. "You know as well as I do how often all our paths cross, so don't make me out to be some kind of stalker," Rob growls, pressing harder. "You little weasel."
Lava surges through Neil's veins. He blinks and he's on the floor, on top of Robert, sending blocked and unblocked punches to his face. "Son of a bitch. Say that to me again!!"
(Eva and Roxanne care for him, and each other, and he cares for them, how could Rob possibly think—)
How they got here flashes through Neil's mind in milliseconds during the euphoria of a landed hit, during the shock of Rob surging up and tackling him to the floor:
Hurt became anger became painful fury; he broke free of Rob's hold in a rush of strength and flatout bull-rushed him, Rob's surprise turning him into an easily moved object.
Hello, unstoppable force. Neil just stares, breathing hard. Anger is cooling into something else, something he can't name and isn't sure he wants.
Robert seems just as conflicted. There's nothing to read on his face and the fire in his eyes has dimmed, yet Neil feels the turmoil, can almost touch it like a length of rope between them.
But that isn't what he's touching. His hands are against Rob's shoulders with no tension to push him away, only resting. He feels vulnerable in a bottomless way. Only speaking can pull him back from the unnameable brink.
His words, his trusty weapons, have deserted him.
Rob leans closer, and Neil falls into the gap he closes between their lips.
He's both drowning and overwhelmed by oxygen, and he groans, hands twisting into Rob's jacket, his mouth opening to Rob's tongue.
This isn't supposed to happen. It's supposed to be wrong. But Neil's always been selective about rules.
That's his last coherent thought before movement and touch overtake him. Firstly, he can breathe again. "Oh, god—!"
Because Rob broke the kiss to put one hand on Neil's chest and the other down his pants, into his underwear.
A panting laugh escapes him. Had Rob thought he'd be stopped? His own erection is obvious and Neil has a feral need to return the favor, but he can't seem to move anything besides his hips against Rob's hand. "Ah, ah...!" One hand reaches out blindly and he groans, half in frustration, still unable to speak. He's so close already it's embarrassing. Rob's hand is hot and gentle and he needs to touch Rob back—
"It was going to be Roxie. I always thought that." Rob speaks so quietly that maybe it's to himself, even though he's looking at Neil with a different fire in his eyes now. "For so long, I've wanted... but then..." He sits back, kneels up, hands moving to his slacks.
Neil sits up almost fast enough to get dizzy, hands joining Rob's to pull his pants and boxes down. He reaches for Rob's dick, grasping, squeezing, and his own throbs when Rob shudders and grunts.
"Neil. You're just— you're so..."
He's pure instinct, and need. And what he needs, apparently, is for Rob to push him to the floor again and ruck up his shirt, because he doesn't fight back. What he needs is to get his own pants out of the way, and somehow he manages it in between touching Rob. Rob's hand settles below his clumsily stroking one, and his body presses against Neil's.
Then his hand gets around Neil's dick too, and it presses against Rob's.
The motion is too much. Neil gasps out a string of curses that alone would be plenty to get him the switch for the umpteenth time. "Oh, god, oh my god...!"
Someone's being pretty loud. Neil realizes it's him when Rob kisses him hard again, tongue searching.
He moans with abandon into Rob's mouth, feverishly rocking up against Rob's hand and dick and his own hand, over and over. Please, please, fuck—
His climax is so strong he might have screamed if not for his mouth against Rob's. He hears Rob gasping, a shivering moan, feels sticky warmth over his skin. He bucks repeatedly, maybe whimpering. He's never felt this good.
Then all at once the aftershocks shake him and Rob's mouth parts from his and Neil inhales like he half-drowned. But Rob stays over him, against him. Neil's free hand is gripping his shoulder so hard it takes several seconds for his fingers to loosen. For some reason, he doesn't move his hand.
They breathe together. Neil wonders why he doesn't want to leave his body.
"Ah, damn," Rob mutters presently. He sits up, dislodging Neil's hand, then stumbles to his feet and moves to his bedstand, whipping out a handkerchief from the drawer with one hand and attempting to pull his pants back on with the other.
Neil watches him move away and back to him. He's too soft, cleaning him and Neil up. "Guess you'll have to burn that," Neil says, putting the snark into his voice since he's too tired to smirk.
Rob grunts. He folds the used hankie into itself, then gets a clean one from the drawer, wraps it around the folded one, and stuffs the ball into the laundry bag in the corner.
Speaking is the key that allows Neil to move, too: getting off the floor, straightening his clothes. He straightens Rob's shirt while he's at it, distantly marveling at the lack of internal screaming; Rob gapes, mouth hanging.
He leans down fast to kiss him, but somehow Neil's prepared this time and meets him. No tongue, yet this kiss burns hotter than the others.
When it ends, Rob says, with absolutely no bite, "You're infuriating." Then he turns and walks for the door.
Something possess Neil to ask where he's going.
Rob looks back at him, hand on the doorknob. "I'm taking a walk."
Neil's left staring at the closed door, the image of Rob's back imprinted on him.
After a moment, he turns for his desk. He picks up the pen and paper from the floor and puts them back. He sits down, pulling the chair in, and takes hold of the pen.
In the end, he rests his head in his arms and staring at the wall, a hundred half-finished thoughts vying for attention.
the fun thing about prompt memes is you can fill your own requests :3 Another for @polyshipweek‘s ficlet fest, woohoo~
Wholeheartedly inspired by this tweet. i could NOT RESIST
love u @mricg <3
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~~~
Eva fidgeted. Then she realized she was fidgeting and tried to stop, and managed it for about three seconds before remembering Rob was waiting right next to her, which made her start fidgeting again.
She was an adult. He was her co-worker. She and Neil had a Thing. Really, she ought to be fine, given Rob wasn’t even shirtless, just in a t-shirt and board shorts. But she hardly even saw him in anything besides his work clothes… and apparently she had a thing for arms. And apparently Rob was kind of built??? Or at least his arms were nice???
She held her breath briefly and reminded herself that none of them had seen each other in beach clothes. But that made her start thinking about how the other three might be thinking about her in her admittedly modest sundress and for radishes’ sake—
“Roxie, come on.” Neil was whining, which was amusing in most circumstances but especially so when he was wearing that stupid pineapple shirt (finally, something to focus on. “Some of us have beach-type things to get to.”
“Just hold your horses, Mr. Grumpypants. Technical difficulties!”
Roxie came skipping out of the dressing room moments later.
Eva saw Neil's jaw drop, and then really saw Roxie, and her jaw dropped too.
Bikini top??? Booty shorts??????
"Let's go, guys!" Roxie said with a grin, traipsing past them out of the hut.
Eva followed in a daze, vaguely aware of Rob and Neil following her, feeling like they were planets following the sun.
They stood in the sand all in a row, watching Roxie run into the water. Eva blinked, looking to either side of her. Rob had color in his cheeks; Neil had pushed his glasses up(!).
"Oh, no no no," Rob muttered. "She..."
Eva, unable to stop herself, said, "She's so hot." Her mortification at saying it out loud was only matched by the mortification of hearing Neil say it along with her. "Oh my god," she groaned, hiding her face in her hands.
"Hey, at least we're all on the same page," Neil said.
My first time participating in the TTM 60 minutes challenge and it’s a 20-minute doodle about a rareship OT4??? *side-eyes self* whatever, I am invincible against flames nowadays ohohoho~ Also, shout out to my partner in headcanoning/ship enabling, you know who you are ^w^
***
"If you laugh, blessings will come your way." Roxie had seen that in a fortune cookie once and rolled her eyes, as one was contractually obligated to do with any cookie fortunes. Who knows why it came to mind right now, but she was sleepy and cozy and full of one too many fresh brownies, so she hopped on the train of thought.
She was the one most prone to laughter. Lord knows her bubbliness had been poked and prodded by others enough to make her do some soul-searching over the years. Even now, very rarely, she'd have pricks of doubt over her own nature. But she was as comfortable as she could be with herself, knew that she was genuine to a fault sometimes. So maybe... maybe that sappy fortune held a tiny bit of truth.
Not that she was trying to pass what had happened in her life and what she'd done off to some outside force, hell no! It's just, like anyone, Roxanne Winters had moments where she marveled at how lucky she was. This was one of them. Just how on earth did she find love with people as different, as wonderful, as crazy as these three?
She didn't believe in destiny, either. Not really. But working all together at the same job, facing similar trials... That thought floated away with a mental shrug. She yawned, stretched, and looked around her.
On the other end of the couch, tucked into the corner, Eva had fallen asleep in Rob's lap. He had his eyes closed, but Roxie wasn't sure if he was asleep or meditating. Evatating, supplied a voice in her head, sounding a bit Neil-ish, and she held back a snortlaugh with valiant effort.
Speaking of Neil... That explained why her shoulder was asleep. She scooted gently away, quietly imitating a nosediving plane as Neil slumped further without her support. When she finally stood he was sprawled out, glasses askew, and already reaching out in his sleep for the other two.
She bustled about collecting plates and balled-up napkins, putting things in the dishwasher, and she couldn't help humming while she did. Once she was done, she turned back to the couch, prepared to wake the others up.
They were all looking at her. Eva with a gentle smile, Rob just gazing, and Neil-- well, maybe he was half-asleep and coincidentally staring in her direction, but the important thing was his chin was resting on Eva's head and she didn't seem to care.
yOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA ASK! poly victorian au + to the moon, please.
UR THE BEST (ps thanks for being co-captain on this sailboat ship ;3) this is a hot mess i’m just warning you now oTL im probably pilfering from not-quite-victorian times but who cares lololol also i’m like cramming 4 HCs into 1 but I DO WHAT I WANT
1. So. The crew are always in each other’s orbits, so to speak. Moving through each other’s periphery with subconscious awareness. but they all Truly Meet at different points. In kinda sorta chronological order: Robert and Roxie. Their families know each other somehow but Rox is so vivacious and bright and loud he just finds himself pulled in and before he knows it they’re friends.
Neil and Roxie, randomly, when he sneaks off to smoke a cigarette and realizes he can’t light it– Roxie’s there smoking too and helps him out.
Neil and Rob end up in the same classes a lot, (victorian/boarding school au woop) and Neil is…. always Neil-ing and so gets in trouble all the time. Rob feels obligated to bail him out when he can. But then Neil targets him for pranks and general snark, and honestly Rob has no clue why he puts up with him– but, yknow, Roxie likes him for some reason so he can’t be that bad, right? (wrong. and yet)
Roxie met Eva when Eva stood up for her (Roxie got caught “experimenting” with another girl). They both got corporal punishment for their “sins”. After that they’re rarely seen without each other.
Neil and Eva, once Roxie’s met her; Eva’s the type to command attention effortlessly and Neil is in awe. She seems so cool and untouchable, and that makes him want to figure her out, and get under her skin in the way only he can.
Rob and Eva: sure, she’s got magnetism, but what really helped it along was Roxie chattering endlessly about her.
2. Neil plus Roxie equals CHAOS. they’re forever trying to play pranks on: each other, their classmates. the faculty. random passersby. and they snark at each other a lot. Rob and Eva are the “over it/studious/”etc pair, buuuut Eva often gets dragged into Neil and Roxie’s shenanigans somehow and also.... Eva’s Eva and Neil’s Neil so?? *shrugs* which leaves Robert as the perpetually 1000% done one (who secretly loves these massive dumbbells).
3. Neil appreciates stargazing, thanks to his gramps; he can name some constellations/knows a bit about what seasons they appear in, but overall kinda casual. Part of how he and Roxie become friends is Rox is ALSO into stargazing but like. way into it. im thinking self-taught idk tho She knows multiple myths about almost all the constellations, some by heart, has their seasons memorized, knows the best times to see certain planets... Neil thought he knew a lot but Roxie has more to teach him.
4. Eva likes to collect pens (and quills, but those are hard to find). She practices calligraphy a lot, and sometimes doodles. Later on she amuses herself by learning herself the others’ handwriting for mostly good not evil.
5. Robert likes to play piano occasionally. He had lessons when he was young, lost interest/motivation for some years, but not his love for music in general. (Roxie has a lovely voice, but she’s embarrassed to use it. Rob heard her once without her knowing and he felt inspired.)
Being in a band was a lot to handle without adding the extra layer of playing up to the press. At least, that’s what Neil thought when they first started out, and he’s pretty sure Rob and maybe even Eva would’ve agreed with him. (Roxie took to it like a duck to water, and everyone seemed to gravitate toward her.
Eventually they recognized her burnout signs and realized their assumptions weren’t totally accurate.)
But now? When they have a moderate level of fame and an income source that's relatively stable? Now it's fun to screw with the media.
It started simply enough. Neil got a kick out of the Ho Yay fans thought existed between him and Rob; annoying the man is just a bonus.
He and Eva are literally dating and somehow stay under the radar, so leaning into the "will they won't they" stage flirting is way too easy to pass up.
Roxie... well. Her energy is damn nice to have around and to be the recipient of (but Neil will kill anyone outside of the band crew for knowing this). They're both guitarists so teaming up in charged ways is second nature.
Roxie and Rob? It's not they're fault their fans are trash for height differences.
Eva and Roxie seem to... just fit together. Neil can't explain it otherwise. Eva's penchant for leaning against Roxie while she's singing, or moving to Roxie's solos right near her, is more fuel for the fans.
And of course, Rob and Eva had to start stage flirting too. For maximum press confusion, obviously.
Except that confusion filtered down to the four of them at some point and now, as far as Neil can tell, they're in a perpetual "what are we" square, arrows pointing every which way. But Neil's not gonna be the first to talk about it; he's having fun, and he damn well knows his bandmates enough to know he's not the only one. The elephant (if there even is one) is still a baby, hardly anything to talk over yet.
Until...
"We're all dating each other," Roxie says during a particularly inane interview. "Bandmates and lifemates!"
She adds that irrepressible giggle which indicates to the rest of them, ninety-nine percent of the time, that she isn't serious. But Neil, Eva next to him and Rob on the other side, is thrown into react/fuel the flames mode, so he can't figure it out in the moment.
another drabble for a dusty ongoing collection! Work Hard and Be Good Chapter 2. Sigsquare OT4 with Winterwatts focus.
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***
It happens quickly and slowly at the same time. Roxie's heart is a rabbit in the underbrush, legs carrying her fast enough to fly; she's in the perfect position when her teammate passes her the ball, if not the perfect distance—barely past midfield on the opponent's side.
So is the goalie, but Roxie knows her weaknesses.
Her foot connects to the ball in slow motion. Her breath is magnified in her head. Slow as molasses the ball lifts up, up, up into a curving glide. The goalie will have to jump, diagonally and with enough height.
It's forever, watching the goalie prepare her save. Her fingers barely brush the ball's underside.
The back right corner of the goal billows out with the force of a sonic boom, and time returns to normal.
Extra time, 1-1. Now 2-1.
Roxie can only feel her yell, drowned out as it is by the roar of the crowd and her teammates (where is Eva?) converging with their own screams around her. They carry her, or she wills them to, to the edge of the pitch. She can see Rob and Neil, bedecked in university colors, running toward her when Eva barrels into her, broken free from the rest of the team.
She's right here. You did it, she's mouthing, probably saying aloud if only Roxie could hear her.
"I did it! We did it!!" she screams, and then Eva's kissing her. She kisses back, in front of everyone, because what the hell else will she do? Spontaneously combust from love?
Her team has settled slightly, still cheering and high but somehow distant. Or maybe that's Roxie's brain, narrowed down to her three favorite people celebrating her accomplishment. She turns in Eva's arms to cling briefly to Rob's bear hug, and then Neil inadvertently separates them by knocking into her with as much force as Eva did.
"Roxanne Luna Winters," he hollers, "striker extraordinaire!"
"Hey," she retorts, flicking him on the forehead, "that's Roxie 'badass motherfucker' Winters to you!!!"
He's grinning so widely, dimples on full display. Neil only cares about soccer because of Roxie and Eva's team, but he does care. And here he is overjoyed like the rest of them, smiling hard enough she can picture his eyes behind his glasses—
And it's that thought that has her kissing him before she can even think about it. Her heart starts racing again but she can't stop, and he doesn't stop her.
When she does stop, she starts laughing. She can see Neil's now-uncertain smile as she tries to contain her hysterics, but she really does think she'll go up in flames if—
Neil catches her chin with one hand and her shoulder with the other, and kisses her again.
The flames cool because she pours them into him, senses Eva close behind her and Rob, always beside her, further containing the blaze.
When they pull away this time, Neil doesn't let her go, forehead to hers. "Did I just make you the gossip lightning rod?" He actually sounds a smidgen regretful.
"Let them talk. I don't care," Roxie says, Rob's hand at her other shoulder bolstering her determination. "And if I start caring I bet I can kick all their asses anyway."
"Heh. I don't doubt that."
"Well, it's about time."
Roxie flushes at Eva's voice, so close to her. She turns to look and sees a smile so soft she can't keep looking. "Yeah." She smiles, shyly, feeling small in the best way. "Yeah, I guess it was."
aka the final. But I can't promise I'm done with this lil universe >:D
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(Part I here)
~~~~~
~And all day it seems we've been in between a past and future town~
We are nowhere and it's now (maybe one day I'll fly next to you)
***
Figuring out where everyone would sleep was easier than you expected; exhaustion had by now evened out into equally high levels for all of you. You didn’t care where you slept as long as everyone was comfortable (you had an odd talent for being able to sleep nearly anywhere, besides), but you were surprised when no one, mostly you, seemed to get embarrassed when you brought up your bed.
You offer it to Neil, since he has the battle scars, but he says he claimed the couch the minute he walked in, and you know you’ve used up your one chance on insistence working when you told him you were bringing him, them, to your apartment.
Rob, ever polite, chooses the spare room. Doesn’t even change his mind when he sees it’s almost smaller than him.
Eva shuffles when you extend the offer. “Where will you sleep?”
... I could— no don’t you dare say it— “It’s a double. We could pretend it’s a sleepover.”
She doesn’t take long enough to consider it. She actually smiles. “What the hell. I’m fine if you are.”
I’m so not. “Sure thing!”
No one bothers using your bathroom to change into nightclothes, so you don’t either. All your shoes and coats end up in a collegiate pile near your front door. And so:
You have no idea what time it is when you all finally settle in. The pertinent information right now is the clock reads 4:12am, Eva is dead to the world, and you have slept fitfully, far more awake than not, for what feels like at least a couple of hours.
You get out of bed and go into your living room.
By the kitchenette night light, you can see Neil’s up. You get a glass of water as if that’s what you got up for, and get a second one for him. He nods at you when you hold it out to him. “Couldn’t sleep?” you ask.
“Didn’t want to.” He downs the glass in one go and sets it down.
You’d say that makes no sense, but you’d be lying. Still, it bothers you that he’s not asleep, not “truly” safe. He doesn’t feel anxious or even unsettled. You’re envious.
“You?”
You shrug. “I’m having some trouble.” You’re about to ask if you can sit down, but it’s your couch, dammit, and it’s Neil. So you sit on the rumpled blanket and stare at the first-aid stuff you’re too tired to put away. “How’s your eye?”
“I think it’s better. Doesn’t hurt as much, and feels different, but I haven’t looked.”
“Well, since I’m here…” You switch on the side table lamp at its lowest setting. “Let me check.”
“Yes, nurse.”
You grin. Then: “Oh. No gloves.” Washing your hands is faster than going to the bathroom to grab another pair. While you’re there, you wet the washcloth under warm water again (you at least rinsed it out earlier).
His glasses are off when you return, and you can see already where the bruise has begun to fade. He can open that eye a little more too. “Looks better! There’s still a ways to go, though. More ice tomorrow might not be a bad idea.” Grabbing the tube of arnica, you shift to face him, tucking one leg underneath you. “Round two. Maybe some more in the afternoon tomorrow.”
As you apply the cream, the air takes on the same strange tension you felt earlier. But this time there’s a different weight to it; alone, with him, it’s easier to breathe.
“Can I offer some advice?” He makes an assenting noise, so you go on. “You should probably say something before you regret it. To Eva. It’s hard to, I know, but… I dunno. I think the regret of not speaking hurts more.” You cap the cream, wipe your fingers with one corner of the washcloth, and remove some excess with another corner. “That’s all, I guess.”
“Okay.” It turns into eight syllables, the way he says it. He’s not moving, just looking at you, even though you’re in his personal space. He didn’t before either; you moved first.
Alone, with him, it’s even easier to move.
With a half-breath, you say. “I’m about to do something very selfish.”
Then you lay a hand against his cheek and kiss him. The few seconds expand into hours, but then he starts kissing you back and time contracts again.
It takes a few more seconds for you to pull away.
And that’s when part of your brain wonders what it would feel like to have someone else watching. Her, or both of them, or... The thought makes you so woozy that you come dangerously close to passing out for real, grabbing onto Neil’s collar.
“You okay?” he asks. “That’s the second time in the last twenty-four hours that’s happened. If I were a different person I might be panicking over you right now.”
“I’m okay,” you say, leaning your full weight against him. “Just… feeling a lot right now.” Saying everything and saying nothing at the same time.
“Um. Yeah. That’s a mood.” He gives your back a dudebro-ish pat. “Uh, so, if you were aiming for kiss it better, I think you’re a little off.”
You snort and rest your forehead against his shoulder. “Yeah. I have no idea what I’m doing.” You say it jokingly, but you also kind of still mean it.
“We’ll figure it out.”
I guess we will. “Funny. That makes two of you.”
“What?”
Crap. You said it out loud. “Nothing.” You sit up, finally, barely repressing a shiver as Neil’s other hand slides away from your hip. Now you don’t want to move. But for quite a few reasons, you have to.
“Go back to her.” His voice is so soft, undercutting the glasses hiding his eyes again.
You cannot possibly ask what you really want to. “What about you?”
“Your couch is really comfy. Blanket’s nice too.”
“Oh.” The sky-blue velvety one, you realize as he pulls it back over himself. “That’s one of my favorites.”
He regards you for a moment. You feel ticklish warmth uncurling low in your belly when he says, with a soft unvarnished smile, “Then I’m great.”
You smile back, the kind you feel like you have to contain before it fills your whole body. “Okay.”
When you return to your room, the lump that is Eva doesn’t seem to have moved. You brush away the guilt trying to well up in you and climb carefully back into your bed.
Even if you’re not going to sleep, you should close your eyes. Maybe you can trick your brain.
The next moment you’re aware, trying to tell if you fell asleep or not, you almost choke on air. Eva’s arms are wrapped around your middle, her chest is pressed against your back, her knees slotted right behind yours. Your heart’s in lightspeed and you’re just trying to breathe, because if you wake her up struggling you won’t live it down and how do you explain this—
She sighs at the back of your neck, and all the fight goes out of you, although your heart doesn’t slow down at all.
This isn’t a dream. You’re not dreaming. (Because you’ve had dreams like this, and you’ve never felt her body heat the way you can right now.) But it feels just as unreal, just as primed to break any second.
You wish you could sense what Eva is feeling. On the other hand, you’re glad you can’t. In this moment, in this space, it feels too much like crossing a line.
One line crossed tonight is plenty.
But the sun hasn’t risen yet, so you aren’t done being selfish. You’re going to hold on to this feeling as tightly as you can, for however long it lasts.
You put your shaking hands over Eva’s at your waist, take a trembling breath, and shut your eyes.
