#sihwrites

[stayinhellevator]

Intersection

"And now you're just a page torn from the story I'm living"

Synopsis: A twisted turn of events lead you to question everything you've ever known of Mingyu.

Pairing: Mingyu x fem!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU/Angst/Betrayal

Word Count: 2723

Warnings: Cuss words, non-graphic description of s3x, probably bad writing, cheating

Playlist: Dynasty ~Miia

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All your life, the concept of soulmates was romanticised and worshipped. You had friends who were happily bonded, co-workers who found peace in their mates, hell even your parents were truly a match made in heaven; their relationship was such an inspiration for you that it made you crave that kind of intimacy and understanding with yours. The way they understood each other with just a knowing look made you respect their bond. You wanted what they had.

And you got it and more when you found Mingyu through some mutual friends and discovered that you two were soulmates. You were over the moon to have found a man so gorgeous inside out. You were scared that he was only a glittery sham but he swept you right off your feet.

There was not a day that passed by that Mingyu failed to make your life seem like a fairy tale. Sure you had your share of arguments and disagreements but in the end, you two ended up right back in each other's arms, where you two truly belonged. He made your heart race every single moment and there was no place that you'd rather be if not beside Mingyu.

There's nothing else you could possibly want.

Or maybe there is.

You watched the way Seokmin and his soulmate naturally gravitated towards each other, practically glowing with a giddy aura around them and you couldn't wait for the day when Mingyu and you were standing on the altar, exchanging vows of your own, just like them.

And you knew it would be equally, if not more, magical the day that you do, for your life with Mingyu was like a fruitful reward for all the sufferings of your past lives. It had to be because there's no way you'd be blessed with a partner like Mingyu, who seemed to love you more than life itself.

Your wandering eyes fell on another pair that you recognised and your heart filled with sympathy for them. Mingyu once shared Seungcheol's dilemma with you and you remember quickly sending a quick prayer to whatever God blessed you because you couldn't imagine being bondless and then finding love in someone who's meant for someone else, alone your own sibling. Thank God you had Mingyu who loved and accepted you without any inhibitions.

As if feeling your gaze on them, his lover met your eyes and you two exchanged a perceptive smile, completely aware of each other's expressions and feelings. You truly wished for them to find happiness, they were good people or at least from what Mingyu told you and you trusted him. He had known Seungcheol through work  before you two had even met, so obviously he knew better than you when it came to his friends and you completely trusted his judgement.

Speaking of which, it had been nearly half an hour since Mingyu disappeared with some colleagues for a few drinks. God you hope he didn't get drunk, he was already tipsy before he left. You turned down towards the hallway, aware that you need to find Mingyu soon for he becomes a real piece of work when drunk, refusing to part even an inch from you, sulking if you don't give into his bizarre wishes.

All of a sudden, a strenuous sensation gripped your chest, as if someone was squeezing your heart and then mangled it. It made you lean against the wall and rub your chest, hoping to soothe the discomfort. A drop of blood fell on your knuckle, making you realise that you had a nosebleed too.

What the hell was this? You had never felt something like this before. Was it something that you ate? Or drink? But you didn't drink too much. Oh God! What if something happened to Mingyu? Was he okay? You had several stories of a soulbond being affected if a bonded mate is injured or sick.

Gosh! You needed to find him without any delay.

You spotted a guest room right across you, the door ajar and seemingly vacant so you decided to use the washroom to clean off the blood of your face and clothes only to halt at the threshold, unable to process the sight that you witnessed.

A man that had a striking resemblance to Mingyu was all over a woman; their lips locked in a frenzy, their hands wandering to forbidden places and their hips conjoined and moving in short, quick thrusts.

The man moved his kisses down the woman's neck; the woman you knew all too well as Mingyu's ex-girlfriend and colleague, who though mutually broke up, was always having eyes for your soulmate, often throwing a few flirty remarks here and there, uncaring about your presence and soon enough you had learnt to ignore her because Mingyu hadn't given you any reason to not trust him, had he? He loved you and only you so why should you even bother?

It couldn't be your Mingyu, no, you were probably hallucinating. Mingyu would never cheat on you, he cannot even think of hurting you like that even in his wildest dreams.

The trickling tears down your cheeks angered you. Why were you even crying over a misunderstanding? You harshly wiped your cheeks, almost walking out when she moaned out his name, loud and clear, sealing the fated doom of your soul bond and the remainder of your life with it.

"Gyu!"

You helplessly watch as he groaned in what you know for sure, ecstasy as his vigour only fueled further. You wanted to look away but you couldn't, hoping this nightmare would end and you'd wake up back in the safety of your bedroom in Mingyu's arms. You had hoped that her voice calling out a name that only you did would snap him out of whatever trance he seemed to be in and he'd realise that this wasn't you but some other woman. But it didn't.

You could feel it creeping up in you, the anger, an intense, uncontrollable hateful rage the longer you watched them and before your brain could even process, your hands had already picked up the vase on the hallway table and hurled it towards those cheating bastards, apathetic of the force inflicting any serious injury. In fact, you wanted it to hurt, you wanted them to bleed just as much as your heart was.

No, you wouldn't be the only one to end up hurting tonight.

You watched as the two flinched at the sudden attack as the vase bumped onto Mingyu's head with a thud, that was sure to bruise, before bouncing off to his cheating accomplice, hitting her right in the face, making her cry out in agony.

Good! Die in pain and burn in hell.

"I hope you had a good fuck Kim Mingyu because this is the last time you feel anything."

You watched how Mingyu's face contacted in rage as he turned to face the intruder only to turn pale in horror as he realised you saw him being unfaithful to you. He jumped off the bed, fumbling over his clothes and putting them on haphazardly, increasing your disgust and fury. You swear you wanted to kill him and then yourself, such was your temper that was building up and consuming you. You dug your nails in your knuckles, wishing it'd distract you for a moment.

"Baby, I swear it's not like that. I ..I don't even know how I ended up here... It just happened...."

You wanted to believe him and you would have disillusioned yourself into thinking he made a drunken mistake, such was your love for him, if he wasn't sober. And that alone shattered your heart into further tiny irreplaceable bits. What excuse would you make up in your head to put your brain into a delusion that this never happened and that your Mingyu was in love with you. Only you.

"I can't believe you Mingyu. Why?"

You watched Mingyu visibly shrink as your exhausted question echoed in the silence of the room.

"I ..I don't know baby..I ..I have no excuses for this.... I'm so sorry baby.... Love...I will make it up to you I swear...."

The more he spoke, the more you wanted to hurt him. How dare he even have the audacity? How would he make it up to you? What would he make up when nothing is left to be repaired?

You watched as he tried to hold your shaking hands in his only for you to violently jerk his hold off you.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me with your disgusting hands."

You appalled scream froze him to his place as tears cascaded down his face as the horrifying effect of his infidelity finally settled inside him. His touch, his face, his whole fucking existence nauseated you so much you couldn't stand to even look at him any longer than you already have.

You ran past the guests outside the venue, quickly texting your brother to come and pick you up because you knew your body was slowly giving up and in no time, you'd shut down.

A hand pulled you back around through the elbow as you realised Mingyu had chased you and pulled you to his chest, holding you by the cheeks.

"It wasn't meant to go this far, I swear baby, we were just catching up by the bar and the next thing I knew we were in bed together. It doesn't mean anything to me. She doesn't mean anything to me. It's you love I swear. Please don't go. I don't want to lose you."

"For someone who doesn't want to lose me, you don't act like you want to keep me."

His face portrayed his helplessness as he sobbed in disbelief which made you scoff in disdain. Did he really think his pathetic excuse of a reason was enough for you to stay and torment yourself for the rest of your life?

"This was a huge mistake love and it'll never happen again. I promise you."

You pushed him off you, making him tumble a few steps back.

"Damn right it won't because I won't stay around to find out if it does."

You only managed to take a few steps ahead when he ran around you to block your way. AGAIN!

"Baby please don't leave me. You don't understand. I'll die without you."

The wrath that was bubbling up within you every single second finally erupted at his audacious words. How dare he play the victim? You landed an impactful punch on his chest, sending him a few steps away from yourself, wanting to have an outlet was the ever increasing rage inside you.

"I don't understand? YOU don't understand Mingyu how heartbroken it is to have your trust broken by the one person you blindly put your faith in. YOU don't understand how humiliated I feel as I'm unable to face my own thoughts because I still can't process you could ever cheat on me in your friend's wedding venue. YOU don't understand how angry I feel at myself for still hoping you'd have a valid enough excuse for me to take your unfaithful ass back. YOU don't understand that all I see when I look at you now is not the countless good memories of us but you kissing and touching another woman the way you should've only done to me."

You could hear your voice dampening with every sentence as the weight of those vulnerable words settled between you two in the hollow night as sobs wrecked your fatigued body. Where did it all go wrong?

"Where did I lack Mingyu? What was it that I couldn't give to you? Why couldn't you tell me if I didn't satisfy you enough? What could I have done differently for you to not disgrace our bond like this?"

All your rage boiled down to cries as hopelessness washed all over your senses. You had endlessly and limitlessly given yourself to him and you still weren't enough? All those cherished moments between you two didn't mean anything to him? Your sacred bond reduced and succumbed to a one night stand. Was this your worth?

"It wasn't you baby. You are everything to me. There's nothing wrong with you. It's me...I'm stupid and selfish and undeserving of a goddess like you. Please, please forgive me love. I'd do anything to gain your forgiveness. Please!"

You watched as he fell down to his knees in front of you but even the pitiful sight of him tearfully begging you couldn't erase the sight of him buried inside her; the one that made you feel like an outsider in your own relationship.

"There's nothing you could do to mend us back Mingyu. We're done."

Even as you cried, you could slowly feel the emotions inside you hollowing into nothingness, an apathy was starting to wrap around your brain, numbing your thoughts.

"No no no this can't be the end of us. Not like this baby....we...we are soulmates.. We're meant to be... We can't be without one another.... Please...I love you...I love you so much....."

His confession should've thawed your heart, broken the barriers of numbness that your brain was building, reminded you of the kisses you shared when you first confessed your love for each other and warmed your heart, instead it made you want to throw up in your mouth for these words didn't mean anything to you anymore.

"But not enough to refrain from jumping into bed with every other woman that you see."

His shoulders slumped with defeat as he realised he was fighting a losing battle because your mind was slowly pushing itself into nothingness. There really was no turning back.

You willed yourself to walk away from him and turned round the next corner, right in time to empty out the contents in your guts, till you were left dry heaving and sobbing. You wanted to control yourself till you were safely home, where no one can find you and embarrass you but it was too much. Everything was too much. Your head was throbbing, your chest was constructing, your muscles ached, your brain had stopped working and your thoughts were a jumbled mess. Too much! Someone needed to stop all this.

Someone held your hair up simultaneously rubbing your back, trying to provide you some comfort. Gosh you didn't want anyone to see like this, all vulnerable and pathetic, only to find it was your sibling.

"Johnny!"

Your brother brought you to his chest, making your head slump in weariness and you felt his arms tighten around you securely.

"Ssh! I'm here.

You closed your eyes, hoping to muster as much strength as your brother could provide.

"It's all over John. I'm done."

You were entranced in the shimmering gold sparkle that was Kim Mingyu that you forgot that in the end, all glitter turned into nothing but dust. You had foolishly wanted to bask in the shimmer but your ignorance only left you in the midst of the dusty pile of the dazzle that was once your life.

In honour of all the good times that you had with Mingyu, you couldn't say you wished to turn back time to change everything because selfishly, you wanted to turn back time and pause it when you were contentedly lying in Mingyu's arms, listening to him ranting passionately about his favourite football team on a rainy night.

You had been loved but more importantly, you had been in love and that was something you cherished. You only prayed to whatever God that heard you, that if Mingyu is who you're meant to find in every life, then you wanted to be with him on happier terms; and not to love him for a while and then live on without him. And if all you two are is soulmates in betrayal, then you could only hope, you didn't love him so deep that he takes everything from you and you're left with nothing but emptiness.

You wanted to meet him on a path which allowed you both to walk together, watching all sunsets for the rest of your lives.

That's all you want; till then you're content to be just a page of his story.

©stayinhellevator2024: Please don't repost, copy or translate my work on any platform.

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[stayinhellevator]

Asymptopes

"We're bound to break and my hands are tied."

Synopsis: By fate's design, you had found refuge in Seungcheol's arms but now you had gone too far from the point of return, leaving the two of you secretly yearning for each other.

Pairing: Scoups X fem!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU, Angst, Forbidden Love

Word Count: 2315

Warnings: Cuss words, fxf relationship, brief mentions of cheating technically (not reader)

Playlist: Rewrite The Stars ~ James Arthur, Anne Marie

<Prev> <Masterlist> <Next>

"Why are you avoiding me?"

All your hard work of trying to hide from Choi Seungcheol had gone to waste when you ultimately landed into his muscular arms, that latched onto your waist so tight, as if you'd vanish the minute he loosened his grip by even a finger.

Perhaps you would and he already knew.

"I'm not avoiding you. I'm protecting you."

You managed to reply, eyes darting frantically around the dancing pairs, wanting to locate your soulmate, desperate to find an excuse to escape the brown orbs of his, that were seeking answers from you.

But boy you could never resist their magnetic pull, automatically drawn towards him, as if a puzzle piece snapping into its rightful place. Like you belonged.

But you both knew you didn't.

"Protecting me? Protecting me from what? Are you even hearing yourself."

With every anguished whisper that came out of his lips, his grip on you seemed to tighten further as was the rapidly decreasing distance between your bodies, making you panic.

What if someone saw the two of you? What would they think? Worse if your respective soulmates saw you? What would they say?

And how were you going to recover from the loss of Seungcheol's warmth? All the time you had spent trying to steel yourself was for nothing? Why doesn't he understand?

"Protecting you from breaking further Seungcheol. I'm protecting both of us from more pain. The more we try to steal moments together, the harder it becomes for us to withdraw when we both know we can't be together."

You finally let out, as if agonised to be the only one holding these depressing thoughts. You wanted to reason with him; let him know that you did care and that's why you were putting a distance between you two.

His eyes seemed to soften after knowing you were as miserable without him as he without you but you knew the topic was far from over; not with how he was so stubborn when he decided he wanted something to go his way. And you were proven right when instead of letting you go, he twirled you round and brought you back in.

To the onlookers, everything should seem normal. You two were strangers who got each other as dance partners when it was a turn for exchanging them; if not for his wandering arms that caged you in with a familiarity of that of a lover; if not for your eyes doing all the talking that your mouth couldn't; if not for the chemistry between you that was hard to ignore.

And it worried you. The onlookers, the gossip-mongers, the rumours and the assumptions. You weren't a stranger to any of those. But worse was when negativities these came from the people you know. You didn't want your mutual friends or colleagues or families to see the two of you so vulnerable like this. You didn't want the drama the scandal of your affair with Seungcheol would bring to the auspicious wedding.

Seokmin didn't deserve this. Even if he was an oblivious jerk who couldn't see just how down bad your sister was for him, all her life, he was a sweetheart. He had never wronged you or your family and technically not your sister too because this was what the fate had in mind for her. So no you didn't want to ruin Seokmin's happy day.

And you can't bring yourself to even imagine what would happen if your soulmate sees the two of you like this. Would she be sad? Disappointed? Angry? Indifferent? Who knows?

Heck! Why should you even care? You were in this mess because of your soulmate, who made it extremely clear that she was in love with someone else, the day you first saw her. And that's how Choi Seungcheol first met you, completely heartbroken and helpless at the hands of his sister.

You still remember breaking down in his arms three years back when you saw your soulmate with his sister in your shared bed; she couldn't be any less empathetic that you had seen her with someone else and instead caused a scene that you breached her privacy.

Ever since then, he had been your rock, your anchor that saved you from drowning in your misery. Your soulmate would often get defensive when she saw the two of you together, because of course the bond between you two was still very much real whether you two accepted each other or not. She wouldn't let you go because then her soul would be hollow and she wouldn't be able to be with her lover.

The truth is you never even got a chance to fall in love with her, which is why her soul was still intact, even after still technically betraying you. Initially when you were bitter about the whole scenario, you wanted to stay like that until her soul started deteriorating and she ended up all hurt and alone, just like you.

But that was before Seungcheol. Your sweet shining knight in armour, who was unfortunately born without a soul bond, making it nearly impossible for him to find love as bondless souls were rare.

And like any cliche movie, as fate would have it, you soon realised that the feelings you were hoping to have for his sister started sprouting naturally for him, without even knowing when andhow. You both found love in each other and soon enough, your pathetic life didn't matter to you anymore, so long as you both had each other. And just like that, you went from nothing-to-lose rejected soul to putting-everything-at-stake for this man accepted soul.

Your otherwise nonchalant soulmate realised in no time that you were hiding something, rather someone from her, because you still hadn't punished her and your ignorance started bothering her. Now, she was always breathing down your neck, hoping to "catch you in the act".

A truly masterpiece she was. You thought it was hilarious how unfortunate you and your sister were when it came to love and soulmates. You used to sympathise with your sister as she yearned for Seokmin's reciprocal in solitude and now you weren't faring any better than her.

You sometimes wonder how your soulmate could be Seungcheol's sibling, when her brother was the most affectionate, considerate and pure-hearted person you had ever met.

A sudden prick, as if you were being watched, brought you out of your thoughts as your eyes met a woman's kind and empathetic pair. You knew her as Seungcheol's friend's soulmate, a kind person or at least as Cheol told you. She looked at you as if she knew your circumstances and you wouldn't be surprised if she did for her soulmate had been Seungcheol's friend for as long as you can remember. You trusted her to safeguard your secret but not the increasing stranger glances that were starting to notice you.

"Seungcheol I don't want your sister to see us together. I don't want any drama tonight."

You tried to negotiate but a tic in his jaw was your answer; he was annoyed that you cared about everyone but him to leave him all alone for months without any explanation.

"I don't give a fuck if she sees us and if she truly cared about drama, she wouldn't be dancing with her girlfriend like that, let alone have the audacity to bring her as a plus one."

Your face must've given your surprise at this information as Seungcheol gestured towards a corner where your soulmate was giggling in her lover's arms, without giving two cents of the place and the people around her. She didn't care if people found it odd as to why she was dancing with her 'best friend' like that when she had her soulmate with her.

Ha! If only they knew!

You could only sigh at her carelessness and turn away from the sight. This would've broken your heart if only it beat for her. But your treacherous heart raced against your wishes for her brother.

It was as if he knew what was on your mind, for his frame finally melted for the first time since he caught you as he caressed your waist and continued swaying to the soft music, refusing to change partners even when everyone else was.

You tried to snatch your hand from his and leave but his grip didn't budge even a bit as he continued moving as if nothing happened.

"Seungcheol! Why don't you understand? Your sister wouldn't take this lightly."

He took a deep breath even as his eyes glistened with tears of helplessness at the situation and yours automatically mirrored his. You just wanted to love him, freely, without any inhibitions.

Why couldn't he be your soulmate? Yours didn't want you as it is. And he was born without one. You two were meant to be. Why couldn't the world understand? Why can't it be like that?

"Why can't we run away? You and I love each other then why do we have to hide? Why can't we be together?"

The vulnerability in his voice broke your heart. You want to give this man the world yet the one thing he asks of you is forbidden for you to bring him. Why can't you keep him happy like he keeps you? Is this why your soulmate doesn't want you? Because you're so helpless and hopeless?

"Cheol!"

You could only whisper his name and cupped his face in your hands, caressing his cheeks, hoping to provide him some soothe, albeit temporary.

"If we run away, your sister's soul trauma would make me hollow and you'd end up loving me all your life while I'd end up unable to love you at all."

You expressed the only concern that was holding you back, leaving you to tolerate his sister and her double standards. Seungcheol's body stiffened once again at the reminder as his eyes filled with contempt.

"The thought of loving you all my life doesn't sound unappealing to me. I hope you know that."

A smile appeared on your face, despite the cruelty of the circumstances as you continued stroking his cheek and his chest with your other hand, right where his heart was, hoping it'd send your love straight to his heart.

"I know but I'd rather love in secret than not love you at all. My life would lose its meaning if I were to stop loving you in the future. I only want you and would want you till I breathe my last."

A tear fell down his cheek that I instantly wiped, unable to stand it as his hand made its way to the back of my neck and caressed it, leaving only an inch distance between us, raising my panic again.

"Cheol! We need to stop. We can't be doing this here."

I pushed against his chest to make space between us but he held my hand above his heart and pulled me in by my nape, resting our foreheads against each other's.

"Please stay. Don't go. Not yet."

The doubt and fragility in his feeble voice cracked my resolve and I gave in to the comfort of his arms, closing my eyes, basking in his warmth.

"This is wrong Cheol. We could be in trouble. Or we already might be in one for all we know."

A statement even I wasn't convinced with came out in whispers, hoping he'd be the stronger one of us and push me away because I couldn't, not anymore.

"Then why does it feel right?"

And just like that, any protest that I had died out on my lips, always defeated by the one, same point. Because truly, why did it feel right? Why do we feel right? Why do we feel like we belong together? Why is it so natural to love Seungcheol when the world wouldn't approve of us. Even the fate hadn't.

"I wish I knew Cheol. What I do know is that no matter what, I'd always love you and only you. And I don't know what I'd done without you in my life. You're my saviour in every sense."

And I confessed because I wanted him to know: know that even if we were born for a future that didn't belong with each other in every lifetime, I would fight for him until I can't anymore.

That even though our fate had only brought us close enough to tease us, I'm glad that it did for I had a chance of getting to call him mine and be loved equally, if not more, by him. And I'd gladly do it all over again.

A gummy smile, that had my heart racing in giddiness, broke out on his gorgeous visage, as he planted a chaste kiss on my head.

"And I love you my chosen soulmate. There's no one I'd want if not you."

And he confessed because he knew we both wanted to hear it, now more than ever, when tomorrow isn't promised. He knew that as much as he wanted to say it to me, I had wanted to hear him say it because he was my strength.

A chuckle escaped me at the irony of the situation as he imitated my reaction. It was crazy; the whole situation, us, everything was bizarre, a mess, out of bounds; but it was ours. Wherever this was, our chaotic precious mess.

I'd have him in any and all forms that I can. If only I get to be loved by him.

It's a privilege to be loved by Choi Seungcheol, even if we weren't destined to be soulmates.

And it's a relief that in the face of my sham of a soulbond, I'd always have my raw and real lover by my side for the rest of our life.

©stayinhellevator2024: Please don't repost translate or copy my work on any platform.

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[stayinhellevator]

Parallels

"I love you but not in that way"

Synopsis: Love had found its way into Seokmin's heart, yet a different kind of love, unrequited and unspoken, lingered in yours.

Pairing: DK x fem!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU/Angst/Unrequited Love

Word Count: 1890

Warnings: none (I think?!)

Playlist: Not In That Way ~ Sam Smith

<Equation 1> <Equation 2> <Equation 3>

"You may now kiss the bride."

A thousand times you had imagined this scenario; a thousand times you had planned your wedding with Seokmin; a thousand times you had wanted to be the bride that he was now holding in his arms and kissing so gently as if even a little pressure would break her; an uncountable times you had wished to be his soulmate. And you had spent almost half your life thinking about all the possibilities, all the outcomes and all the calculations of 'what ifs'.

Yet nothing could've prepared you for this moment; the final showdown. There were cheers of congratulations around you as the newly weds bowed in gratitude; everyone was happy; heck, even your parents were applauding in happiness but you couldn't.

God knows you couldn't. You didn't even know how you were able to conjure up the energy to go through the wedding when there was a bile building up in your throat. The weight of an invisible stone on your heart was dragging you at a rapidly growing rate and all you wanted to do was run away and hide in your room but right at that moment, your infuriatingly gorgeous and oblivious childhood best friend, Seokmin waved his hand in your direction, giving you his infamous bright smile that held your heart in a chokehold ever since you began to understand the concept of love and soulmates. A hand that you noticed was entwined with his soulmate's; nevertheless you did what you had managed to perfect around him and ignored the pang in your chest, smiling back at him.

As you watched him exchange pleasantries with the guests, alongside his wife, a tear finally managed to escape the confines of your eyes. This felt like an unfavorable ending of your favourite book; the one that you desperately wanted to change. Alas! Destiny, the author, wouldn't even let you appeal your case for you were never meant to be the main character of this story.

You had known this when your soulmark appeared on your tenth birthday and it seemed different from Seokmin's. You remembered crying in your mother's arms for, to the ten year old you, it didn't make sense that Seokmin and you weren't soulmates because of course you were; after all you were attached to the hip ever since you were born and you both loved each other, didn't you?

Turns out, you were the only rider of that romance train for Seokmin was happy that you two received your soulmarks and that there were people out there waiting for the two of you. He didn't seem to be upset that you didn't have identical marks; he never was. And that's when he first broke your heart.

But God were you unable to stop loving him when his very essence brightened up even the darkest corners of your mind. Even now, you weren't able to move your eyes off his figure, as he practically buzzed with joy, an energy you'd never seen in him; his eyes brimming with adoration towards his wife; his smile brighter than all of the chandeliers in the venue; his steps light and bouncy as if he was the wind itself.

Later in the night, in the safety of your room, when you're empty after pouring your heart out, you'd be disgusted at yourself for wishfully staring at a man who belonged with someone else, a married man, someone's soulmate but right now, you can't stop. You want to paint his picture forever in the back of your mind, for one last time. Then, never again.

Your heart constricted with all the love you had for this man, your best friend, the love of your life who had already put his heart in someone else's hands. How were you ever going to forget about him and move on?

"You alright?"

A hand placed itself on your shoulder and without even turning back, you knew Hansol's otherwise indifferent face was twisted with concern for you because he knew; had always known how down bad you were for Seokmin, even though he joined your duo years later. He always expressed his surprise as to how Seokmin could not know about your feelings; he was even convinced that Seokmin was aware but chose not to acknowledge it but who knows? You were never curious for the answers after all. It was embarrassing enough that even a stranger could detect your feelings for him but he couldn't.

"Do I look okay?"

An exhausted sigh was your reply as if he understood and matched your desolation and quietly stood beside you to watch the newly weds have their first dance. A constant throbbing in your head made you want to smash your head against a wall and knock yourself out but you stood quietly, fisting your palm, as if trying to ground yourself.

"Why does fate gotta be so cruel? It's even hurrying the time against us. It must really hate us huh?"

A nonchalant chuckle escaped him as he tried to sound unaffected but you knew him as well as he knew you, if not more and you turned to face him, a tick in his jaw as he tried to stay stoic.

"I've had all the time in this world with Seokmin, at least as much as I could've had, until I couldn't cheat the fate anymore but you have one last night. So, go on, don't waste it on me. I'll still be there in your life but she won't."

His head snapped towards you as his eyes suddenly watered, making you smile at him with all the empathy in your heart for the third of your trio. Who knew better than you how much he was hurting? He gulped his emotions down before nodding at you in something that would always remain between the two of you and you watched him escape the hall with his lover on his toes.

At least, one of you was having a good night.

"Did you really think you could escape the dance with the man of the hour? I'm really hurt."

Oh if only he knew what hurt was.

You could only follow him as he held you and guided you towards the dance floor, both of your movements as naturally flowing as they could because everything was easy with him. You two worked like two peas in a pod, like bread and butter.

"The man of the hour was too busy tonight and I didn't want to gatekeep him."

You swallowed the lump in your throat before replying to him, not wanting to ruin the happiest day of his life. His playful eyes shone with mirth, before twirling you and bringing you back around.

"I could never be too busy for my best friend, you should know that."

Ah! Of course, you should know that, shouldn't you?

Blinking back the building moisture in your eyes, you nodded in agreement before pressing your lips in what you could only, a smile.

"Are you happy Minnie? Was it everything you ever dreamt of?"

You asked gently, wanting a confirmation to appease your broken heart, though you knew, his answer would be futile, because his shining eyes already gave you the answers you were looking for. And just like that, his face broke out in a breathtaking smile that used to be your home, your refuge.

"I'm on top of the world, like I don't even have words to tell you how I'm feeling right now. If I went on to describe how happy I am today, it'll probably take years for me to accurately put my feelings into words."

His eyes moved from yours to his soulmate, as if unable to detach from hers as yours to his face, a cruel magnet truly; and his voice softened with so much love that you had desperately wanted for yourself all these years.

"She's so pretty, so divine, that I feel unworthy of her. I can't believe I get to love her as my soulmate. I can't imagine a life without her. How have I ever lived a life without her in it?"

The tears that you were holding back ultimately started flowing down your cheeks as you heard him. If only you could have half of this devotion, you'd be delirious. He loved her so much. God, how were you ever going to recover from his words that were permanently going to scar your memories.

"I don't even wanna find out. I have her and that's more than enough for me. She's everything that I've ever dreamt of and more."

He shook his head, as if bringing himself out of a trance and faced you, only to be concerned on seeing you crying. He cupped your face, wiping your cheeks, a small frown on his face and you immediately hit yourself in your head. How could you be so selfish and worry him on his wedding? Your feelings are yours alone and not his concern.

You broke your heart loving a man destined to love someone else and it was your burden to bear not his.

"Hey! What happened? Why are you crying?"

You shook your head trying to both shake off his concerns and mustering up some courage to answer him without breaking down in his arms.

"It's nothing I'm just so happy for you. I got emotional seeing you all grown up and married and so in love. I'm so happy that you're happy Minnie."

His eyes softened at your words and he immediately pulled you into a hug, still softly swaying to the music.

"I hope you find your happiness too. I'll be right there when you find your soulmate and get married and have lots and lots of kids with them."

"I hope so too."

You really did, it was wishful thinking but you really hoped for his words to come true. You pressed your face on his shoulders, hiding your cries and you tightened the hug just a little before taking a deep breath and patting on his back and stepping back from his hold.

"I've taken a lot of your time. Now go back to your wife."

You watched how his frowning face smoothened before he gave a small pat on your head and walked towards his wife and pulled her into a kiss.

You found comfort in the fact that even though Seokmin was not meant to be yours, he'd never truly be away from you. He might not love you but a part of you would always love him and your love for him was enough for you.

You took a shaky breath as you realised you were about to close a big chapter of your life and put a lock on it, only to never open it again.

Seokmin and you might not be soulmates but you were platonic soulmates and it was the one thing no one could snatch from you.

You gave a half hearted smile to your mother, who looked at you with a knowing look on her face, before walking out of the hall, content with the bittersweet truth of your life.

You could always love him from afar and that's a privilege no one could ever take from you. It was your burden to bear alone after all.

©stayinhellevator: Please don't repost, translate or copy my work on any platform.

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[stayinhellevator]

Golden Ratio

Perfection In Imperfections

In a world where a mark decides everyone's destiny, oftentimes some wandering souls are left questioning their fate when things don't go according to the plan.

However, the only way to escape this loop is to give up your soul itself. The moment you reject your soulmate or betray them after accepting the bond, Fate punishes you by taking away your soul and all the feelings in it, leaving you cold and hollow.

Worse is the death of your bonded; not only does it leave you alone for the rest of your life, it also takes away your soul with it. A truly beautiful tragedy.

So was it truly romantic that you couldn't choose your own lover and spend your entire life, stuck in this never-ending golden ratio of the soul bond?

Or past the horrors of this hauntingly transfixing miracle, was it satisfactory enough that you've at least one person out there, meant solely for you, in every universe and every lifetime, in one way or another, no matter what?

This one person was your chosen or your destined, is for you to decide.

"Oh take me back to the start!"

Pairing: Svt x fem!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU

Warnings: See in chapters

Word Count: to be added later

Playlist: The Scientist ~ Corrine Bailey Ray

Masterpost:

Introduction: The Golden Ratio is an irrational number with indefinite decimal points making it impossible for the point to ever exist in the same place, hence why the line ideally never connects.

Alternatively, woven in intricate threads on the verge of snapping but forever associated with each other, by virtue or memory, are the stories of souls that are entangled in this eternal loop.

THEORY 1: Two Divergent Lines meet once and then never cross paths again.

Alternatively, two souls have one chance to meet and then never again. The good thing is, they know.

THEORY 2: Two Parallel Lines never meet or cross each other.

Alternatively, it was a relief that even though they're never meant to be, at least they always walk together in the spectrum of life.

THEORY 3: Two asymptopes are always in proximity but never actually touch one another.

Alternatively, two unfortunate souls who are aware that they couldn't be together but find salvation in the company of one another.

THEORY 4: Two intersecting lines cross paths once and then continue without change.

A pity that the pair thought nothing could sever their safe haven and now they have to live on without each other.

THEORY 5: Two tangent lines touch one another at one point only.

Alternatively, two souls that were so close yet so far.

©stayinhellevator2024: Please don't repost, translate or copy my work on any platform.

[stayinhellevator]

Tangents

"I had all and then most of you; some and now none of you."

Synopsis: Dreams turn into a nightmare when Wonwoo and you find each other too late.

Pairing: Wonwoo x fem!Reader

Genre: Angst disguised as Fluff, Soulmate AU

Word Count: 4241

Warnings: None

Playlist: The Night We Met ~ Lord Huron

Prev ┈    ⪩⪨      ┈ Masterlist

'Good things come to those who patiently wait', was something you had often heard; except they never did, especially for you, not even a single good thing.

You were a late bloomer for everything; the last one to get your periods, the last one to get a 'puberty glow up', the last one to be picked for the high school prom dance, the last one to receive your soul mark, the list was endless. Always the last.

You had gone so long without a soul mark that you were convinced you were a bondless until one day abruptly you felt a burning sensation on your wrist, even after surpassing the maximum age limit of receiving a soul mark. You remember being the happiest you've ever been in your life. You supposed it was fate's way of making it up to you. You were relieved that at least now you didn't have to wait to be picked up as the last resort.

Until you realised, you were in fact, not even your soulmate's last choice apparently.

You watched as your clients turned friends happily greeted the guests yet their eyes never seemed to linger too long anywhere that wasn't themselves and their hands seemed to find perch wherever possible on each other's bodies —seemingly around everyone yet apparently only having eyes for each other.

If six months back, someone told you that your acquaintance from college would one day contact your humble organisation to plan her dream wedding with her soulmate, you'd shrug with indifference. While Myra was a nice, compassionate woman, you never saw eye to eye on your outlook on life. She was too dreamy, often daydreaming about her ideal first meeting with her soulmate; while you were cynical, struggling to make ends meet, elaborating plans for your dream career.

You supposed, in the end, after all, you both managed to get what you worked hard for. She, her loving soulmate, and you, your own wedding planning company. Though, you were nowhere near your dreams, at least, you had begun somewhere.

Myra introduced you to her soulmate Seokmin and you remember being a bit jealous of them; they reminded you of your parents, loving and as real as possible. Whether you agreed or not, deep within, you wanted to have a partner like hers.

And your hopes skyrocketed when Seokmin noticed the soulmark in your inner wrist and off-handedly mentioned that his cousin's mark resembled yours; that he could introduce the two of you, if you want.

Jeon Wonwoo was his name, you learnt.

And with the drumming hope in your heart, you had agreed because of course you had. You couldn't be a coward and a dreamer simultaneously; you knew that for dreams to come true, you had to take risks.

And so, after a restless night of stalking Jeon Wonwoo's socials, you waited for him in the cafe that Myra sent you the location of. You waited and waited and waited.

But he never came.

After three humiliating hours of restlessly glancing at the door, every time it opened, you trudged out of the cafe, avoiding the pitiful looks of the servers, deciding to forever close the chapter titled 'Jeon Wonwoo' without even having written a single word; because that's what it was —an unfinished chapter in the story of your life.

The next week when Myra and Seokmin came to discuss the colour theme with you, the apology was loudly evident in his eyes before Seokmin could mouth it and you had shrugged him off.

Because it was neither his fault nor his story to explain.

And so here you were, watching the couple celebrate their dream wedding, at least as dreamy as you could make it, you hoped and watched from the sidelines, heart thrumming in blissful satisfaction. These are the little moments that make your life worth living, whatever of it is left at least.

A hard push at your side nearly disbalanced you bringing you out of your reverie. A bit angered and annoyed at the rude behaviour, you turned back to catch the culprit, only to be confused at seeing a familiar figure of a woman running past everyone at sight, straight down the exit, followed by a towering, sturdy man, who looked as dissheveled as a heartbroken boy who got rejected by his first love.

Except you recognised both of these figures as Seokmin's friend Mingyu and his soulmate. Mingyu often helped you around and also took on the responsibility of authority over decisions in the couple's absence. So you were quite familiar with him by now. If you hadn't known, you'd think he's single for the man knew he was charming and certainly used it if need be but you also knew he absolutely adored his mate so you weren't too worried.

Your friends often said that you were good for your own good but you'd contradict and say it was your nosiness and so, out of mere curiosity and concern, you were about to follow them, when the couple of the hour abruptly appeared in your vision.

"We couldn't be more grateful for you -you truly made my dream come true. Thank you so much for truly making our special day, special."

Myra's gentle voice, brimming with enthusiastic joy infected you and you found yourself distracted.

" I did what I could. This was all you guys. I'm so happy you liked it. Congratulations guys. Here's to forever."

You smiled at Seokmin's grinning visage over Myra's shoulder as the bride nearly shook with the overwhelming emotions took over her entirety. She gently squeezed your hands as if grounding herself after you broke the embrace.

"Did you—did he come to you? You know he's here too—I mean were you able to talk?"

While you had slowly come to adore the caring nature of your friend's fiance, the man really didn't know how to take a hint, he was down right oblivious, you didn't know how Myra handled him. He didn't know when to stop, he didn't know when to start, he didn't know his best friend was in love with him and everyone seemed to see it, even you. He didn't know a lot of things, just like he didn't know when to let go. You suppose that's his charm after all.

"Seokmin it's your wedding tonight and these should be the least of your worries. But since you asked, no, we haven't met or talked; nor am I expecting to. It's a done and dusted topic now."

You mustered a formal, dismissive smile at him, hoping you didn't sound too harsh because, though oblivious, the man had a heart of molten gold, and you didn't want to offend him or worse your friend, specially on a day like today's. But you did what you had to because you saw it in his eyes. Pity!

There was pity in his warm kind eyes and if one thing you hated the most in this world, it was pity. Just because you weren't meant for a 'normal life' like him, didn't mean you were a pitiful person.

You saw how Myra's hand squeezed Seokmin's bicep in warning as they shared a look—an understanding that was meant for no one but them, an intimacy you once wished for, with your own soulmate, immediately sending a pang of hurt in your heart for losing what you never even had.

"Well then we'll leave you be. But please eat something before taking your meds. You look really pale right now. I'm scared you've overworked yourself."

Myra's assessing eyes were filled with concern for your well-being and once she was sure that you'd give in to her request, she smiled at you before dragging Seokmin away.

The reminder of your soulmate's presence under the same roof as you, opened a few too many wounds within you, that never quite really healed, a constant scar reminiscent of what was meant to be yours but would never be yours; a harsh reality check that though a part of the same world, you were not cut out for a normal life; that your soulmate was probably happy with another in this very same life that you two were supposed to share together.

You looked down at the still full plate in your lap, feeling a bout of nausea building up in your stomach. Was it another one of those symptoms or the anxiety that was slowly starting to consume you, you didn't know but you were sure that the delicious food on your plate was too much to even look at.

So you regretfully put the almost untouched plate on the counter, evading the curious eyes of the people around you and straight away escaped to the farther most balcony, hoping no one would find you there.

As much as the night was peaceful, it was empty; a certain hollowness that couldn't be lightened up even by the twinkling stars, much like your own life. No matter how many people loved you, how many achievements you had up your name, how many memories you had managed to conjure up till now, your life lacked lustre.

There's so much to do and very little time left; at the same time, you couldn't wait for this countdown to be over.

A trickling sensation down your nose made you internally groan with exasperation. God! You were a mess, literally and figuratively.

Before you could take out a handkerchief of your clutch, a hand miraculously appeared in your line of vision with one.

So not only did someone see you being a miserable, lonely mess but also witnessed an embarrassing moment of curse that your illness left upon you.

Great! One more person who's going to pity you tonight.

Your eyes traced the veiny muscular arm, in order to offer gratitude, only to have your breath knocked right off your chest.

No, it couldn't be. Your eyes must've been deceiving you.

But even rapid blinking couldn't change the vision that materialised in front of you.

"Wonwoo!"

Your own hoarse desperate whisper of his name embarrassed you because why were you so needy of a man who ran away like a coward? You swear you had planned to ignore Wonwoo if need be but the sudden warmth in your chest at just being acknowledged by him faltered all your elaborate plans. Though, if this warmth was more out of fury at being abandoned without reason or relief of at least getting one good look at your soulmate before your time was up, was a question you didn't know the answer to.

"Hey ..."

His own unsure whisper of your name was so silent that you almost couldn't hear it but it was as if your senses had acquired a new affinity just for him.

Taking a deep breath, you accepted the handkerchief from him and wiped the blood off your nose, avoiding his concerned gaze bb

Why did he care now? Why was he even here? Did Seokmin send him?

Why now?

It was awkward between the two of you because of course it was. You both didn't have anything to say, how could you, after all, at the end of the day, you were nothing but strangers. Tied in the tangles of your anxiety, you observed his fiddling bony fingers as he fought his own.

"Do you..think we can, maybe, talk... somewhere private? Only if you're comfortable.. I don't want to impose."

And just for that, purely out of spite, you wanted to refuse, so that you could see the hope within him slowly die out just as you witnessed yours but his nervous fumbling paired with his otherwise stoic confident face practically sweating buckets made you pause.

How were you to resist him when you're so selfish to make every little moment with him count as much as you can?

And so you nodded and let him guide you out of the hall and down to the nearly empty cafeteria of the hotel. It was almost ironic how you were waiting for Wonwoo just like this at that cafe just a few months back. And now here you two are. Sitting opposite each other with so much to say and almost no words. Almost.

You waited for him to fill the awkward silence between the two of you however it seemed as if the longer you two sat here, the more nervous he started being, if his bouncing leg didn't give away enough so you decided to be the one to break the ice.

"So, do you have someone waiting for you back at home?"

His eyes widened comically as all of his movements froze which gave you a bit of satisfaction. You suppose you could be nice only to a certain extent.

"Is that why you think I didn't come?"

His unsure voice theorised as he realised the direction of your thoughts and soon his sharp eyes softened with guilt.

"Is it not?"

You raised your brow in retaliation and saw him heave a sigh of exhaustion before he nodded his head as if preparing himself to become a lab rat.

"I...I guess I should begin with apologising to you first. I'm so sorry that I got cold feet and wasted so much of our time when we could've been together and fuck...i-"

He raked his hand through his hair, clicking his tongue while you quietly watched him; you wanted to hear him and his reasons but to your horror, you realised that nothing he says would justify your suffering after all. How much more selfish could you be?

"You see I wasn't really keen on finding a soulmate, like ever. I had been indifferent to the idea of soulmates, even when I first got my mark, it didn't make me feel any differently. Romance had been the last of my priorities and so I had only had casual relationships. It never really crossed my mind about what I'd do if I found my soulmate. So when Seokmin, out of a blue moon, announced that he found my soulmate and that he fixed us a date at a cafe, I was...thrown out of the loop for the first time in my life, with no sense of direction whatsoever. And like a coward, I ran away at the last moment..."

What started as an anxious blabbering ended with an ashamed mumbling, as if he finally realised how childish and foolish he actually sounded. He decided to make you question your entire existence just because he was scared of a change?

Hah!

"I know I cannot do anything to undo all your pain but I promise to be a better person for you and for us. Please, please give me a chance."

You scoffed at his words as if you really had a choice or time to make him repent. All this, for what?

"The funny thing is, you were so scared of finding your soulmate that now... you won't ever be able to have her.

He gasped as if my words had stabbed him and then twisted the knife in his wound. He shook his head as if to retort but I leaned forward on my chair.

"I..I don't have much time left Wonwoo so even if I wanted to make you make it up to me for the rest of our lives, I'm afraid I don't have much life left within me."

You observed how his eyes glossed with a realisation that seemed to suddenly hit him, which made you smile wryly at his crestfallen visage.

"I was diagnosed with leukaemia shortly after the cafe incident. They had hoped that my soul bond would save me but...."

You stopped when a harsh exhale left Wonwoo's lips as he fell back on the chair as if he had no energy left within him.

"But I abandoned you..."

His empty voice washed the space between the two of you as you watched him slowly retreat into a shell, his complexion paling as his eyes bore holes on the vacant table, body so still as if he were not even conscious.

Was this his repentance?

"Wonwoo!"

You called out to him, not really liking his condition. While you had wanted to see him in pain, just as much as you had been, nothing could've prepared you for this day. You didn't like it, seeing him half dead as if someone snatched his very soul out of him and left him to rot; and the fact that it was due to you was killing you more than your illness.

His eyes snapped to yours, as if you had the remote to his brain, all yours to command. His tearful eye waiting on you tugged at the strings of your heart, making your lips stretch just a bit.

" It's okay. I don't blame you for it and neither do I want you to blame yourself."

A fresh stream of tears fell down his dark chocolate orbs as he shook his head in negation.

"If only I hadn't run away that day, you could've been better and I...I could've still had you in my life."

His voice, laden with grief, shook with every word, filling your own eyes with tears, at the helplessness of the situation. All those days you spent thinking about the ways you'd want Wonwoo to suffer, just as much as you had; had cursed him for seemingly living a peaceful life while you were to your vices but at this moment, you wanted nothing but to curl up in his arms and ask him to hold you while you break down.

But he was so far. So close, yet so far. Right in front of you, but out of reach.

"What could have been is not something that'll change our present Wonwoo. It's useless, trust me; it gives you nothing but misery."

No one knew better than you how it felt to dream about the various possibilities, only to be dragged down to the harsh reality. It was a temporary escape, sure, but also weakened your ability to cope with the present. It was futile. You guess, this was one thing you could leave behind with Wonwoo and hope it helps him in the future.

"I must leave now. I'm exhausted and not really feeling well, if I'm being honest. So, please excuse me."

You knew, the more you stayed in his proximity, the more you'd want Wonwoo and that wouldn't be fair to him, because when your time's finally up, he'll be the one, who's left behind to suffer, all alone, and that too, over a person he's barely known.

Just as you were about to get up, a firm grasp around your wrist followed by a panicked yell of "NO!" stopped you, pulling you back to your chair, as Wonwoo now kneeled in front of you, holding onto your knuckles.

"Please don't leave. Let me be with you. At least, as long as we can."

He no longer hid his desperation as his grip on your knuckles tightened further and his teary eyes begged for yours to understand. You left out a breath in resignation, cupping his cheek, after freeing your hand from his.

"Wonwoo, you don't understand. I really have, at most, a month more and when I'm gone, it'll be hard for you to live on with the soul weariness. So we've to distance ourselves from each other in order to save some part of your soul."

You tried explaining to him, for his own betterment, but he stubbornly shook his head, now holding with both hands, yours to his cheeks, nuzzling into them.

"I don't care. If borrowed time is what we have, it must be for a reason and I want to spend every single second of it right by your side."

Your heart skipped a beat as you stared at his ethereal face, his eyes shining like stars, holding yours as if magnets drawn to each other, making your resolve weaken.

There's only so much barrier you could put up, and your heart, as you were coming to realise, was merely a prisoner of your soulmate, who already seemed to have at the palm of his hand.

And so you let yourself be selfish. For one last time.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Four weeks. For weeks were all it took for you to do the very thing you'd promised yourself to not do after getting diagnosed. You fell in love, and that too with your soulmate. And it was bad because all it was doing was going to prolong Wonwoo's misery and seal him to a hopeless future when you ultimately die.

But it's not like you planned to fall in love with him or didn't resist him; heck you didn't even want him to be in your proximity, knowing it was all for nothing but it just happened.

As you two tried to make the most of all the time you had lost, conversing about constellations and giggling over clichés of the most cringe movies known to mankind and debating over your favourite books, it just happened.

Wonwoo understood you like none other, perhaps not even yourself, you felt right at home with him, safe and serene; his knick knacks soon became so dear to you that if there's an afterlife, you're sure you'd reminisce about them as your source of belongingness.

You knew you had no control over time, nobody ever had but since the day you found Wonwoo, time had started slipping like sand, against your wishes and soon your body started deteriorating as you ran out of your borrowed moments, quietly watching Wonwoo conversing with the doctor and the news couldn't have been good, it wasn't if the way Wonwoo's complexion paled further didn't tell you enough.

"What did he say?"

You inquired as soon as he took a seat beside you and noticed the sheen in his eyes that he tried to play off as the gloss of his glasses. He shook his head as he fumbled with the sheets, trying to dodge your query.

"Wonwoo! Look at me. Please!"

You softly requested, wanting to be able to see him, have his attention for you didn't know how long you have now. When you had his attention, you gave him a cajoling smile, hoping it'd mask your pain for you didn't want him to stress himself anymore but who were you kidding?

"I wish I could turn back time. Or rewrite our destiny. Anything. We didn't deserve this."

The angst he was trying so hard to hide finally burst as he held onto your hand, resting his head on his and sobbing.

You truly didn't deserve this. You both deserve to be happy together, get married, travel around the world, have kids and grow old together. But here you are.

And you were so helpless, unable to give your soulmate the happiness he rightfully deserves and instead only bringing him misery ever since he came to know of your existence. Maybe you didn't deserve a soulmate. You didn't deserve Wonwoo.

"We had known this was how it would end Wonwoo."

Your voice trembled as you willed yourself to not break down as Wonwoo's body shook as he cried, holding tight onto your hand as if you'd disappear any moment now.

"But if we could rewrite our story, this time, I wouldn't let go of you easily. I'd march right into your home, burst into your room, slap you right in the face and drag you by the ear to that date we were supposed to have."

You teased him desperately, wanting to stop his sobs for if this was the last time the two of you ever saw each other, you wanted to see his breathtaking smile before you closed your eyes and it worked when he half-heartedly chucked at your jest, roughly wiping his face.

" Yeah I'd like that. That would totally reset my brain."

Your giggle brightened his visage as he placed a kiss on your knuckle but it soon vanished when another pang of cough hit you and more blood trickled down your lips.

You hated this; the pain, the discomfort, Wonwoo's tears. You were so tired.

You just wanted to sleep.

You felt Wonwoo's nimble fingers caressing your head in a soothing gesture and opened your eyes to look at him, wanting to burn his face in your mind.

"I'm sorry!"

You helplessly watched as tears cascaded down his cheeks as he shook his head before kissing your forehead multiple times.

"Ssh! I know!"

Of course he knew. He always knows. Your heart felt light for Wonwoo knows. It's okay.

"I love you!"

You didn't even know you were crying until you felt Wonwoo's fingers on your face as he leaned down and placed his lips on yours.

"I love you too my heart."

He whispered over your lips and after placing a series of pecks over them, he parted, just enough to look at you in the eyes.

"Sleep my love and wait for me. I'll come and find you where no constraints of time limits us."

And so you allowed yourself to sleep, wishing if you get another chance at life, you'd get to spend it at Wonwoo's side, with more than a few weeks, loving him in whatever form you were made to.

For now there was peace in your heart that at least you had all of him in whatever little fragment left of your life.

©Stayinhellevator2024: Please don't copy or translate my work on any platform.

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[stayinhellevator]

Hard To Love

Where Chan was hard to love but harder to not. Pairing: Bang Chan x gn!Reader // Lee Know x gn!Reader Genre: Angst with fluff at the end / friends to lovers Word Count: 4471  Warning: cuss words, implied toxic behaviour, mentions of a girlfriend and ragging. Playlist: Every Road Leads ~ Bette Midler

Bang Chan was hard to love. To you at least.

You had known Christopher Bang all your life. Your parents were neighbours turned friends which naturally passed on to Chan and you; childhood best friends keeping their friendship intact all the way to high school and even through college. And now, even as you both were adults, occupied in your own jobs, your friendship still remained, stronger than ever.

It was safe to say, you had the best memories with Chan. Be it breaking rules or crying over some soppy ass movie on a Saturday night; laughing at weird corny jokes or bawling over a nasty breakup. All your firsts also belonged to each other, call it curiosity or whatever. There wasn’t much to complain about your platonic journey with Chan.

Except when there was. Things weren’t all that platonic on your end, after all. And how couldn’t they? Chan was perfect after all, at least for you. To you. But it was hard to love Christopher ‘Chan’ Bang.

“Hey __!! Where’s Chan hyung? Is he not coming tonight?”

Jeongin’s loud call jerked you back into the present, as you noticed all of their attention was now on you.

“He said he’ll be on time and now everyone’s here while he’s slacking.”

Hyunjin dramatically shook his head, as if to expressly show his disapproval, not that Chan or anyone in the room cared much.

“How would I know? I’m right here, sitting with you guys, aren’t I?”

You tried using sarcasm as a way to ward off their attention from you, knowing that they thought you both must’ve fought and were now grovelling for each other. But the truth was, you really didn’t know where Chan was; you hadn’t known anything about him for a few months now.

“I don’t know, you guys are always attached to each other’s hip so…”

Jisung’s voice, masked with indifference, couldn’t hide the amusement that filled his eyes at the irony of the situation, which made you scoff in annoyance.

As Chan and you got into high school, you befriended Changbin and Minho respectively and together you guys made a lot of memories and unable to part ways, you took admission in the same college where you found Jisung and his younger brother Seungmin, then Hyunjin and lastly Minho’s younger brother Jeongin too joined your group, all of them a year junior to the four of you. The last to join your group was also a junior, another Australian, Felix, that Chan saved from ragging and introduced him to your group. Since then the nine of you are inseparable.

Honestly though, the group was always divided a little by biases towards Chan and you. Changbin and Minho sided with you for some reason. If teams were being formed, they would be the first to pick you, even when Chan wouldn’t and you could now for sure say that if things ever went downhill, they’d be the ones to never leave your side whereas Hyunjin, Han and Jeongin always biased Chan, dare you say revered him for some reason. Felix was the obvious one, Chan literally was his knight in shining armour though your friends always joked that he had some kind of bi-panic towards Chan and you. Seungmin on the other hand, couldn’t be bothered less. If it were casually picking teams, he’d go by whatever team he was feeling that day. But if it were a serious issue, he’d always side with whatever he thought was right. So he never really picked a side.

In his words, “I dislike you motherfuckers all the same.” But you knew that his precious heart would and could never pick sides. And you adored him and this little chosen family of yours, even if they gave you run for your money sometimes, a little less than you adored Chan though.

Chan was for a lack of better words, MIA these days. He used to tell you that he couldn’t survive an hour without you, which was somewhat true based on your history. You guys were indeed always attached to hip, no matter how much you wanted to punch the smirk off Jisung’s face.

“Sorry guys I had an emergency.”

Lo and behold, there he was. The man of the hour, truly. He was on everybody’s mind yet you couldn’t be sure what or who was on HIS mind. Strolling in so casually and effortlessly gorgeous, oblivious to the storm in your head, greeting everyone with that bright smile of his that easily made your heart skip a beat or two. He exuded main character energy; the handsome protagonist that makes all the girls in college swoon, that is adored by children and elders alike, the favourite friend of all the parents, the one that can easily make friends with even the coldest person in the world, the one who got the most roses during valentines and would smoothly reject them with the most innocent face as if he didn’t know the entire female population of the college liked him.

He was annoying and charming and you were just another female in that lot, who failed to resist him. But who could blame you when you were so close to him that you could almost taste the kind of love that you wanted from him. You were not delusional after all, just hopeful.

“Hey sweet girl! How are you doing?”

But it was harder to not love him, especially when he spoke to you like that. The sweet nicknames in his honey like voice, the genuine adoration in his alluring eyes and the way his words seemed to always melt your heart in a mush. You’ve loved him ever since you first understood what love was.

“I’m good. How about you?”

You could feel the squeak in your words, and so did the other seven men in the room, as if someone had wrung your throat and made you answer but Chan only passed you his infamous flashing smile.

“I’m good too, now that I’ve seen you.”

And he said it so casually, oblivious to the heat spreading the entirety of your face and the racing of your heart, that you knew it didn’t mean what you actually wanted it to mean. This was the real him, he had always been good with words, it came naturally to him. Maybe you weren’t a special case to him for he naturally had so much love to give to everyone, even if you selfishly wanted to be the only one.

Maybe, this was all he ever was-oblivious. He couldn’t see what the rest of your friends could, your parents could, the entire college could, heck you’re sure even a stranger would if they were to be in your vicinity. But he didn’t. He couldn’t see the person he said he knew the best. At least, not anymore. You should’ve known. He was the best at obliviousness.

“You were the one who disappeared and are now suddenly back with your cheesy words.”

You rolled your eyes at him, trying to feign nonchalance, pretend that you didn’t care about him, pretend that it didn’t hurt, his actions don’t hurt. After all, this was what you were the best at-pretence.

He sat beside you with a soft, dramatic ‘oof’ and wrapped his arms around your shoulders in a bear hug. You let out a sigh of relief, as if a burden was lifted off your shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I know that’s on me but I was going through something, that I’ll soon share with you, before you say it. You know I’d never abandon you like that, don’t you?”

You did know that, didn’t you? Chan had always been so attentive and caring towards you ever since your first day at kindergarten together. Holding your hands all the way up to class, tending to your physical injuries, lending his shoulders to cry on, memorised all your allergies and actively watched out for you, never letting you walk on the road side, crossing roads with you as if he were protecting a child, having your orders from all cafés and restaurants at the back of his mind and even healing all your mental scars, all but that which were related to him. How could you not love him when he made you feel like you were on top of the world, like you two were the only ones for each other, like he reciprocated your feelings? These little things were what actually attracted you to him.

Only to go on dates with people that could even give supermodels run for their money. His dates made you realise that you would never be close to his ideal type, you’d never be what he wants in life, thereby discouraging you from confessing whenever you mustered up some courage.

“Yeah you’re being unfair to all of us. Do you know how much __ missed you? Kept asking about you all the damn time.”

You glared at Felix with so much heat that he visibly squirmed at his place, beside Seungmin, who though had a blank look on his face, smacked his arm as if gesturing to stop his nonsense.

“The last time I remember, it was Chan’s minions, who were hassling __ for his whereabouts, Felix, wasn’t it?”

Changbin, as always, your saviour took your side and effectively shut the boys up, who were clearly enjoying your plight.

“Ah! My bad, guys. But what’s so wrong with my girl missing me, Bin?”

You jerked up from his hold to look at him but he didn’t let your hands escape his as he stared back at you with a playful glint in his warm eyes. You could hear a lot of ‘oohs’ and giggles around you but you couldn’t care less because he was doing it again; giving you hope that you guys were something more, only to turn around and switch to the same old best friends forever shit.

“No no there’s absolutely nothing wrong with YOUR girl missing you.”

You could hear Hyunjin’s annoying drawl but you held your breath, waiting for him to do just exactly what you expected of him, you knew him better than he knew you after all, heck you knew him better than he knew himself and you knew you couldn’t be wrong about him, even though you kept hoping against hope. You wanted to be wrong tonight.

“Exactly! So stop teasing my best friend about it.”

Yup! There it was; the tag that you once wore with honour gradually turning into a weight holding you down. The giggles quietened as your shoulders sunk and you relaxed back into the couch, you didn’t know what’s on everyone’s mind but you surely expected it to happen once again because you also knew that Chan had always enjoyed attention, you just didn’t expect to be one of his enjoyment sources as well but you slowly learnt that maybe you were too. He liked knowing that he had your heart on the palm of his hands; knowing that he was the only one for you, finding comfort in the fact that no matter what he did and no matter where he went, he could always come back home to you. And you would take him back with open arms, like a fool. Always.

But you had enough. You thought tonight you’ll tell him of your feelings and be done with it, once and for all. You knew he won’t accept them but at least you’d get your closure with his rejection and move on to a life without the hopes of Chan as your boyfriend.

“Then start being my best friend properly. I can’t be the only one in this friendship anymore, could I?”

You knew the weight of your words surprised not only Chan but also the rest of the group, who now looked alert and uncomfortable, knowing it wasn’t a jest anymore for you. Chan’s eyes widened with disbelief did nothing to deter yours filled with determination.

“Baby don’t be like that. For once, think about me and you’d understand why I was gone for a while. Please don’t make a scene tonight, when all of us are here and so happy together; when I’m so happy after a long time.”

His words, as much as had the powers to heal me, also had the powers to destroy me from within. How could he so subtly call me selfish? I don’t think about him? If only he still cared about me he’d know that all I ever thought about was him. Did he also imply that he was so unhappy but all I did was ignore him and make a scene out of everything? I didn’t listen to him? Hah! If he wanted, I could recite everything he’s ever said to me, word by word. That’s how much I paid attention to him.

“That was a little too harsh, wasn’t it Chan hyung? Why don’t you just get straight to the point and save us all the misery of your oh-so-unhappy-life?”

Seungmin, as always the blunt Angel that he was, said with a finality. When all Chan saw was the disbelief on everyone’s face and understood that he disappointed everyone with the choice of his words, he knew he took it too far.

“Okay! I guess it’s time to tell you all. You remember the hot girl I hooked up with in that downtown bar six months ago?”

Of course you did, even if nobody else did because you remember feeling like a 16 year old heartbroken kid all over again when you found Chan making out with a beautiful stranger when you turned to find him after a quick toilet break.

“Well we caught up again six months back and decided to see where it leads us. We took a break off to Jeju and damn I had the time of my life. I think it’s safe to say we’re ready to date now. I don’t think I’ve been happier in my life ever.”

Six months since Chan disappeared on you, leaving you wondering if you did something wrong. Six months since he left you and started thinking of a life with someone else, without informing you. Granted you didn’t have to know everything about his life but he couldn’t even tell you he’d be gone, as a best friend?

Oh! How pathetic you were, truly. When all your happiness only ever relied on him, he didn’t even think you had ever made him feel joyous. Were you jealous, angry, hopeless or heartbroken? You didn’t know; maybe all of it, in that order. Suddenly 24 years of friendship felt suffocating to you, useless even, if he couldn’t share his whereabouts and woes with you.

“Wah! You’re so cool dude. You got two of the coldest and the most gorgeous chicks of our college crazy in love with you. Damn!”

And of course Hyunjin was going to praise Chan, as if he had saved the world. Even Jeongin looked scandalised with the amount of bullshit that came out of Hyunjin’s mouth, then it was fair enough that Minho almost strangled him.

“Wait! Two? Who’s the other one.”

Hah! What a funny guy he was; couldn’t even keep quiet for once and let you silently grovel in your misery. Thankfully though, the chime of your phone from a colleague gave you an excuse to escape. Of course you weren’t going to actually answer the phone because you didn’t think you could form words without a tremor in your voice.

But you couldn’t stop your thoughts from going haywire now. Should you have told him sooner? Was it your fault? Were you not obvious enough? Of course he wouldn’t actually ever pick you, who were you after all? He had so many better choices, someone he would be proud to have by his side. You were never enough, you had always known then why did it hurt so much?

“You can stop blaming yourself now.”

Minho’s sweet voice tinged with sternness infiltrated your thoughts as you saw him take a seat beside you on the patio bench. You took deep breaths, trying to hold your emotions.

“You once told me it was okay to cry and let out my feelings in front of you because you’d never judge me for it. Tonight I ask the same of you. I think you’ve tortured yourself enough.”

An exhausted sigh followed by a stream of tears finally escaped you as you let your emotions wash over you and rest your head on Minho’s shoulder. Never had you ever thought that someone other than Chan would ever be able to comfort you, least of all Minho.

Minho wasn’t the most expressive person, even if you could swear that he was the one who felt the most emotions-the most hurt, the happiest, the most excited and even the angriest. You knew that he checked his emotions so damn much because sometimes they drove him, in his words, insane. While you knew he had your back as did, you his, he wasn’t your closest friend. You had the least amount of memories with him, you both were a weird bunch to be honest.

“This was bound to happen one day then why does it hurt so much?”

You didn’t even think he heard your whisper but he surprised you, not that you even expected a reply.

“Because feelings can’t be helped and you felt too many of them for just one person all your life.”

You buried your face in his shoulders as your cries turned into silent sobs and his arms tightened around you. You could swear it was the safest you’d felt in a while, dare you say like the comfort of a home and you wondered why Minho had never held you before for you swore his hug was soothing.

“I think it’s better this way.”

Your words prompted him to make distance so as to look at your face but you weren’t ready to look at his face, afraid of his judgement.

“He’s perfect in every sense and he seeks perfection in every sense while I can never be even close to perfection nor have I ever strived to be. You know those main characters of a movie who’s rich, good looking, charming, got a gorgeous troublesome ex but somehow ends up with a character that’s completely opposite of them? Chan is that main character to me. I think that even if I confessed to him and he had accepted me I’d always be anxious, trying my best to keep him in my life, make sure he’d never grow bored of me, be his perfect other half and that would’ve ultimately killed the person within me that he liked, or if ever liked.”

You gave a bitter smile at your fate and walked away from the bench while staring at the moon that looked so pretty yet unattainable, just like Chan. So close yet so far.

“He never deserved you any way. You deserve so much better and more than he could give you.”

You let out a sarcastic scoff at Minho’s words as you felt him coming closer to you.

“And who said that?”

“I’m saying that. Changbin says that. Heck, even Chan’s minions know that. If this isn’t enough for you, then all those roses in your locker say that.”

You were sure there was a frown on your face at his reply. Maybe Minho was more delusional than you because no way in hell so many people would ever think that way. You appreciated his efforts to make you feel better but he didn’t have to lie to your face. All of a sudden, you felt his fingers on your jaw, pulling you to face him as you stood wide-eyed in surprise.

“You never noticed these things because you were so busy noticing what Chan needed. You never noticed those roses and letters in your locker because you were focused on his; you rejected all prom dates because you were busy moping as he picked his date; you never noticed how the entire college stoped to look back at you as you entered the campus because you were always focused on what Chan was saying. You never noticed how much I love you because you were busy loving him.”

The only words that managed to knock your breath out after this sudden proximity between you two were the last few words that escaped from him as his eyes softened at your now misty ones while his fingers kept caressing your cheeks as if to ground you to the present.

“Minho!”

And a soft whisper of his name was all you could manage to let out. You were sure that your heart had pretty much skipped an entire rhythm right now. How could he be in love with you? He never even gave any signs. He was always so distant that you even thought he disliked you when you first spoke to him. He rested his head on yours as both of you closed your eyes, feeling an ecstasy that was never felt before.

“I’ve been in love with you ever since I first saw you in the college cafeteria. It was impossible to not notice you when you were practically glowing in my eyes; so pretty, had such a sweet giggle, spoke so passionately about how Toy Story 1 was the best movie and other sequels should’ve never been made, cried over a hurt kitten all in one day of knowing you; all these things made me want to wrap you in a blanket burrito and never let go.”

You let out a little chuckle as your grip tightened on his shirt and more tears escaped you.

“I wanted to approach you, tell you I wanted to date you but you were clearly not interested in anything romantic if it wasn’t with Chan so I settled for being friends. I thought it was better to have some of you than none of you. You said that Chan was the main character in your story but you were the main character in mine.”

This time you didn’t stop the sob that came out of you, thinking about how much you hurt him unintentionally. You also couldn’t stop thinking about a possibility of all that could’ve been if you took off the rose tinted glasses through which you saw Chan, even once.

“Maybe this is my punishment Minho. I kept hurting you, just as much as I kept getting hurt. I kept blaming Chan in my head but what’s the difference between him and I, when I did the same to you?”

He immediately shook his head and held you by the shoulders with so much resolve that it compelled you to stop rambling and listen to him.

“There’s a lot of differences between the two of you. You never gave me any mixed signals, you never played push and pull with my emotions, you always knew what you wanted; I was the one hurting because I couldn’t let go of you. Our situation is different than Chan and yours. How were you to know that I felt this way about you when I kept my distance? But you’ve to understand that I was reserved because I was scared about the intensity of my love towards you, even when we had so much space between us. What would’ve happened if I didn’t push myself out of the frame? Would that have been better for the two of us?"

As you looked at his doe eyes that reflected the depth of his soul, you knew for sure, that this man right here would’ve been able to break through all your walls of false hopes and easily made you love him, perhaps more than you’ve ever loved anyone.

“Maybe!”

“Maybe!”

Both of you nodded and whispered in a silent agreement but refused to let of each other, needing to believe that this moment was true, that it was really happening.

“Then would you wait a little more for me?”

You could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes that he squashed with confusion, not wanting to get disappointed for hoping about something that he long gave up on without even trying but you were determined to not hurt and get hurt anymore. Maybe this was a new beginning for you, for him and for Chan.

“Wait for what?”

You took a deep breath and clutched his hand that was still unknowingly caressing the back of your neck.

“Please wait for me to get over my heartbreak and let me get to know you as something more than just friends. I know what I’m asking of you is a bit selfish but I don’t want to treat you as a rebound, as a replacement of what I couldn’t have, as an outlet of my heartbreak. I want us to be real and our beginning shouldn’t be formed on the basis of my negative baggage. You deserve the best and while I may not be the best, I want to be at least my best for you; for us.”

His beaded eyes shone with something that you couldn’t really place but you knew that you could travel to the end of the world if it meant that his eyes would shine like that.

“I’ve waited for you when there wasn’t any hope or reason to. Imagine how long I could wait for you now that you’ve given me a reason to.”

Yes, you were definitely a fool to not notice this pure hearted man who might not have stood by your side but always around you, silently protecting you and loving you without expecting anything in return. But what you did notice was how you liked this kind of crying where you couldn’t even stop smiling at each other, especially when his bunny smile looked so endearing on him.

And as you both wrapped each other around in an intimate lovers’ hold you finally felt contentment, as if the last piece of a huge complicated puzzle finally snapped in place. You pressed your nose in his shirt, letting his scent comfort you and could already feel yourself wanting to drift off to somewhere only you and him existed.

While it may have been harder to not love Chan, you think it may be criminal to not love Minho.

What you both didn’t notice was a pair of eyes in the corner of the yard, observing you two since the beginning, overwhelmed but feeling a crack in his heart that he never even imagined he would. Were new beginnings supposed to make your heart twist like that?

Read On Wattpad

©️stayinhellevator2023: Please don’t repost, translate or copy my work on any other platform.

[stayinhellevator]

Divergence

I know better than to ever call you mine

Synopsis: Vernon and you knew that you were doomed right from the beginning. Then why did it hurt so much? Pairing: Vernon x fem!Reader Genre: Soulmate Au / Angst Word Count: 2278 Warnings: implied seggsy times, an NCT cameo Playlist: Let's Fall In Love For The Night ~ Finneas

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You could swear Hansol's amber eyes shone like a glass of whiskey under the brokeh of lights.

Perhaps, they were also as intoxicating as one, for you found yourself unable to tear yours away from his ever so shining pure eyes.

How was this man even real?

"You're doing it again!"

   His raspy voice cut your thoughts and you finally noticed his knowing gaze on you.

"I can't help it, knowing this is the last time I'll ever see you."

You swear you didn't mean to but your words betrayed you in the vicinity of this man, who was not only a good listener, but also, as you had learnt so far, a great observer. It sometimes put you on the edge, knowing how little of a barrier you had around him.

"Wasn't it something we had always known?"

You sometimes wondered if he acted so nonchalant because it was his nature, or to show that he didn't care or he genuinely didn't care at all. Nevertheless it hurt seeing him so casual about it.

"I'm sorry for getting all sappy on you.."

You couldn't help it; you tried not to snap at him but it was hard to pretend that it didn't matter to you; that he didn't affect you.

    But you also hated the look in his eyes as he shifted his body to completely face you while you continued to look at the glittering stars in the sky in defiance. That look in his eyes scared you; like he knew something even you didn't know about yourself; it made you vulnerable.

"This is what I was scared of. The uncertainty of our future."

You were sure you had startled him with the way your head snapped towards him at his admission. This was the most expressive he had been about both of your equation since the past four days you had known him.

"I knew it'd be hard to let go of you once I held you in my arms."

Tears pricked your eyes as you took deep breaths to get a hold of yourself. You didn't want to waste your last night with him by breaking down in his arms when you had known it all along.

You had known you were doomed to fall apart right from the beginning, from the moment your eyes met his when your sister introduced you to him, her fiance's best man.

"Sol. . ."

So many things you had wanted to say; so much to tell him; so many feelings you wished convey, but all you could do was call out his name in a desparate plea, hoping he'd understand.

He pulled you closer until his forehead rested on yours, as his fingers danced to an unknown melody on your bare back.

"Ssh! I know!"

But of course he had known.

You sniffed and saw his eyes closed as he caressed your back, so you mirrored his actions and closed yours too, wanting to feel every inch of him, if this was the last time you could hold him.

"When I release my song some day in the future, would you listen to it?"

You held his face and caressed it softly, hoping to remove the traces of insecurity that suddenly marred his big innocent eyes.

"Goes without saying, I will."

He nodded before catching your hand in his and placing a chaste kiss on it.

"Good, for if you don't it'll be useless because it'll be for you, my muse."

You smiled as your treacherous heart raced against your will at his declaration.

"Promise me you'll visit my restaurant, when I open one, some day."

You swear you were trying not to overstep your fate but hoping against hope, you wished to find his reassurance of being able to see him again in the future if you could.

"If I can, I absolutely will find you and visit you."

The doubt of the lingering future shook you from within but you were determined not to let your fear of tomorrow steal your today with him, the one last present with him.

"Good because it'll promote my business when the renowned rapper Vernon visits my restaurant."

You mentally cheered as you saw his gaze lighten up at your mischief.

"You place too much trust in me to be successful."

You watched as he pulled you closer to himself, as if even a sliver of space between you pricked him so you wrapped yourself around him and rested your head near his thudding heart.

"I KNOW you'll be successful. You forget that I'm an aspiring critic so I recognise potential when I see one."

His heart beat increased at your words, even as his body was relaxed under yours.

"A food critic, you mean."

You didn't let his jester affect you and let out a sigh of relief as he ran his slender fingers through your hair.

"What's the difference eh? You and snack; snack and you; it's all the same. You're extremely delicious if I do say so myself."

His chest shook as he laughed, a peculiar high pitched laugh, that you'd always adore, cherish perhaps.

"I wish this didn't had to end, you know."

You whispered after some time as you continued drawing shapes on his chest with your fingers, making the most of your last few hours together, now that your sister's wedding festivities were over, craving every bit of intimacy with him.

You wish you could've defied the soul law and run away with him; but the punishment for it was too destructive. You could never feel love again if you rejected or betrayed or had a dead soulmate; no soulmate means no more love for you. It was as cruel as it was romantic. You were truly sealed in for an eternity with your destined if you were born with a soul mark.

"Me too but I'd rather love you in my memories than not love you at all."

Your breath hitched at his words as your body stilled. He said it; you were sure, you heard him right. You weren't even aware that you were crying until you felt his fingers wiping your cheeks.

"I was scared of saying it so soon and that too on our last day but I didn't want to regret not saying it at all in the future."

You finally let out sob as you held his face in your shivering hands, mitigating any distance between the two of you.

"I was scared too Hansol. . .I kept wondering how could I have even fallen in love with someone that I'd known just for four days Sol but it's real. It's so real and I feel it. It's not fair to us Sol. Why can't we choose who we want to love?"

You asked him something that even he didn't have an answer for and you knew that. You could ask him to explain you the Bermuda Triangle and he'd do that, he'd explain you the music theory, or how squirrels can't burp or vomit, heck he would randomly discuss the cinematography of your favourite movie but this was an answer that nobody had.

"I wish I knew babe. I wish we could run away and hide somewhere no one could find us."

You felt his arms tighten around your figure as he placed multiple kisses wherever he could; on your head, to your temple, following down your neck and shoulders, trying to absorb as much of your essence as he could.

Silence befell between you two as you shared a pair of earphones, listening to Hansol's playlist, tightly wrapped around each other.

"Do you think we're soulmates in some other universe? Or at least, have longer than a few days with each other in some other lifetime?"

You observed how Hansol kept staring at you, his eyes shining with so many emotions that he could never express otherwise before he gave you a dazzling smile that brightened up the dark night for you.

"I know that we're soulmates in some universe and that we'll definitely meet each other in every other lifetime."

As much as he reassured you, you were astounded how easily he voiced out his thoughts, without even hesitating for once.

"How can you be so sure?"

He pressed a quick peck on your lips before parting just enough to look at you while caressing your lower lip with his thumb.

"If we weren't meant to cross paths, then how come we are in each other's arms right now? Is it even possible for people like us to open up to someone this quick, let alone be vulnerable around them? Hmm?"

It must be a coincidence that you heard 'Let's fall in love For The Night' distinctly playing in your ear that you think Hansol had to be right. This was all meant to be. You were meant to meet and love each other, even if just for one night.

So what if you couldn't spend an eternity together? So what if you weren't destined to be soulmates in this lifetime? You were sure you were something much deeper than just soulmates.

Hansol saw the realisation in your eyes which made him smile with pride so he did what he wanted, what you both desparately needed, and pulled you into a kiss to love you with all his might.

For you were each other's chosen soulmates.

________________________

"The rising sensation Vernon announces engagement with fiancee as his debut song 'Adore U' hits platinum sales."

The news announcer's voice boomed through the room as you watched Hansol waving his fans with his arms wrapped around his soulmate, who was equally gorgeous as him; together they painted a perfect picture, like they were meant to be. You smiled looking at his shining eyes still brimming with emotions even as his face remained stoic. It was completely bittersweet if you were being honest. Five years back, you had desparately prayed to be in that place where his soulmate currently was, yet now, as you look at the two of them, you could see why destiny chose them for each other. It sparked a pang in your heart for the past you.

"If only I were as talented as your favourite rapper, I'd have gifted you an entire album for your birthday."

A soft voice full of determination and love, broke your reverie as muscular arms caged you through the waist. You chuckled and leaned back in your soulmate's warmth, the world becoming a white noise.

" You are way more talented than anyone I've ever liked and you don't need an album to impress me. I swoon over you enough already."

A quiet giggle that brought a smile to your face as your lover turned you around to face him.

"A little more swooning wouldn't hurt me, just saying."

You huffed playfully before caressing his sharp jaw as he drew soothing circles on your lower back.

"Though I do have a little suprise for you. I hope it accounts to something if not enough."

You raised your brow in surprise as he went towards the fridge and fished out a box, placing it in front of you. He urged you to open it through gestures so you willingly complied only to be swept right off your feet. It was the fusion dish that you were trying to perfect since the past few months to be added to the menu of your restaurant and here he was, having managed to quietly perfect it for you.

"Johnny you can't be serious right now. Perhaps this is why we're soulmates because this is more than enough. God! I love you so much."

You jumped at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and legs around his waist and he caught you, just like you knew he would.

"Happy birthday baby! I love you my entire heart."

"Thank you so much John. Thank you for everything. I couldn't ask for anything else."

And it was true; ever since Johnny Suh, now a renowned chef and the partner in your joint venture, came into your life and you two discovered you were soulmates, it was hard not to accept him and even harder not to fall in love with him; not just because he was your soulmate and you were destined to love him but he was genuinely a good man and deserved to be loved.

While you may have wanted a different future for yourself five years back, the present you was more than happy with the outcome of your fate and couldn't ask for anything else truly.

Johnny was a dedicated lover and you had accepted your soulmate with your entire heart.

Your eyes flicked back to the image of Hansol and his soulmate on the TV screen. You sighed with relief watching their soft interaction. He was happy with his life too.

Perhaps in some other universe, you were each other's soulmates.

Or maybe, you were meant to cross paths at every universe but never to spend an eternity.

Maybe he was a moth drawn to the flame of your feelings, flying to an everlasting warmth, after your flame dies out in every lifetime. Or maybe you were the key to his lock in some lifetime.

The point is, who knows?

What you did know is that in this world, you were the Tinkerbell to his Peter Pan, guiding him to his Wendy.

You were just content in the knowledge that you two were meant to find each other in every lifetime, even if not for an eternity but for a few moments that'd amount to memories for the rest of your lives.

If your Fates decided that you two were going to be two divergent lines that meet only to never cross paths again, you were glad it was Hansol who met you that night.

And you would gladly do it all over again. Just to meet him once.

©stayinhellevator2024 Please don't copy, repost or translate my work anywhere else.

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[stayinhellevator]

Shades Of Love

Where you thought love was red but it was golden

Pairing: S.Coups x gn!Reader//Wonwoo x gn!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst//S2L, L2E

Word Count: 1922

Warning: Mentions of seggsy times(not explicit)

Playlist: Red and Daylight ~ Taylor Swift

"Order 895 is ready. Please collect it."

You could hear your own voice booming in the buzzed cafeteria followed which a sturdy familiar young man walked towards the counter, flashing you his infamous gummy dimpled smile.

"Thank you! Now that I've had the best coffee that there is, my day would be better."

You shook your head at his antics and prepared his receipt as you tried to hide the smile that threatened to come out in order to not encourage his tactics. He did this every single day, coming to the cafe you worked at without fail with his regular order of an americano and melon bread and asked you out, also without fail.

However, you weren't quite ready to date and certainly not this handsome overly rich guy. He was so damn charming that nobody could ignore him, no matter how hard they tried to resist him, to you he seemed like a god damn celebrity and you, were just you. A broke final year college student, with big dreams, struggling with multiple part time jobs but that's what happens when your parents couldn't care any less about your existence. You had somehow survived school under their control and now you were almost done with your college all on your own and you were very proud of yourself. You had so much on your plate that you couldn't really prioritise a relationship in your life much less the attention that'd come upon you, with a guy like him.

"So are you free tonight? Tomorrow? Overmorrow?"

But he was also good at breaking your resolve; especially when he looked at you with that adorable puppy face and an even cuter pout on those luscious lips of his. And just like that, after six months of resistance, you had cracked.

"Real smooth Seungcheol, real smooth. I've to give this to you."

And you watched as his eyes glowed with a playfulness and he smirked at you in victory but you couldn't find it in yourself to dismiss his smugness.

Loving Choi Seungcheol was red.

He made you see the world through rose tinted glasses; everything that was so plain and cynical previously, now seemed bright and meaningful. You had something to look forward to every single day you woke up.

You'd think as time gradually passed, you'd come out of the honeymoon phase of your relationship but no Seungcheol made you feel special everyday, as if he was still courting you. He'd flirt with you, compliment you, voice out any and even a slight change in your look.

Bringing you your favourite flowers everyday without fail, taking you out on cute little dates frequently, going on a walk with his adorable fur baby like a happy family every evening and going as far as to pose like a trophy CEO boyfriend who'd pick you up from college every single day. Life with him seemed something straight like a rom-com fiction that you'd enjoy as a guilty pleasure.

He was passionate, if his constant pining of six months wasnt proof enough. He knew what he wanted and how to get it, be it opportunities, things or people. He did everything with all his heart, felt all kinds of emotions to their extreme. If he loved you, he'd travel to the ends of the world for you and God forbid if he hated you, he'd make sure he dragged you to that end and buried you in the deepest pits of hell. That's how passionate Choi Seungcheol is.

Seungcheol was also synonymous to a fiery lust that you'd never even imagined would burn through you. His kisses looked as hot as they felt when he imprinted them on every curve of your body. No matter how many times he took you, it never felt enough to either of you.

Because Seungcheol's emotions were limitless, so was his anger. Such was his anger that you'd rather die than be at the receiving end of his hostility. You first witnessed it when he found you getting uncomfortable with the gossip around your relationship in your campus and you'd swore to never explore that side of his passion.

In theory, it looked hot to see your boyfriend with such a burning determination in his eyes, jaws clenched in fury and knuckles fisted as if ready to get bloody if needed however, his violent rage sent chills down your spine because he really had no control over his actions when he went down that road.

And unfortunately for you, your worst fears had actually come true when the two of you ended up in an argument in your bedroom when you were supposed to be celebrating your fifth anniversary.

"Cheol! How did we end up here? It's not like you hadn't known of my plans for the future?"

You asked exasperatedly trying to make sense of this conversation. You had always wanted to own a cute cafe of your own with a bookshop above it and Cheol had always known about it. So how had he come from admiring your dreams to going against them?

"Because I thought you might change your plans baby. Today when mom asked me about our plans for future I realised we had never even discussed about our future. And now that I'm finally taking over the business I'd really like to settle down with you."

He tried to explain as best as he could but not enough to make sense to you. So was it his parents? You always knew they disapproved of your lifestyle and disinterest in fitting to theirs so did they say something to him?

"Cheol I never said that we can't get married. Of course I want to marry you and grow a family with you. However what I don't understand is, how does me wanting to establish a cafe of my own has anything to do with us getting married?"

You felt cornered the longer you watched his face that didn't soften even a bit with understanding and growing more determined every second.

"I'm more than capable enough to take care of you so what's the need to work?"

Your heart was pounding against your ribs so loud you swear you could hear it when you realised where this conversation was going. This wasn't your Cheol but Choi Seungcheol, the business man that his father was proud of.

"And you can still take care of me. I told you it's more about me fulfilling my dreams and not about survival or money anymore Cheol."

You could recognise the timidness in your wavering voice as you tried for the last time to save your relationship that was dangling by a single strand of thread.

"And how would it look that my wife is working in a cafe, even if you own it. People would think I don't provide well enough for you, there'd be too much gossip-"

He paused abruptly as he realised the look of growing horror on your face.

"So it's about your family's reputation and tabloids and not us anymore."

He shook his head desperately and scampered to his knees in front of you, trying to bring you back to him as you drifted away not just from him but even yourself.

"Baby please I didn't mean it that way."

He continued babbling but you couldn't hear him with the constant ringing in your ears.

You had always known it. So why did it still hurt?

Nearly three years later, as you stood outside your own cafe that you built with blood, sweat and tears literally, with pride all alone, Jeon Wonwoo came in your life with his warmth that thawed even the deepest corners of your heart, that seemed to be numb over the years of loneliness.

Wonwoo's compassion made everything seem easier than it actually was. Individually, you two were extremely reserved people who were neither interested in social interaction nor actively seeked it however together you two were like two perfectly fitting puzzle pieces. You remembered when you first met Wonwoo and were immediately intimidated by his persona however by the end of the day, it felt like you two had known each other since forever. And soon enough, it was to no one's surprise, you two were in a relationship.

Wonwoo was equally wise as he was warm; he knew how to make someone feel welcome but he also knew who actually deserved to be welcomed. He wasn't just your life partner, who knew how to handle you but also your business partner who provided his insights to your now joint venture. He owned the bookstore above your cafeteria that you two now jointly run. He was in every sense your missing brain cell.

Everything was easy with Wonwoo, even your arguments. You both tend to avoid arguing but when you do, he made it a point that you two never go to bed without resolving it and truly, it reassured you because you never want to be lonely, especially now that you've found him.

Wonwoo was thoroughly loyal and caring. He knew what you wanted before you could even acknowledge your emotions. You cherished every part of your life with him. Be it passing each other meaningful or sometimes even suggestive looks amidst the crowd of your cafe or snuggling up with each other with hands absent mindedly wandering on each other's skin with your favourite books in front of you.

Wonwoo was luxurious and not just materialistically. Every kiss that you placed on him felt like you touched the finest silks and likewise every kiss that he placed on you was as intoxicating as an expensive wine. It was sinful, addicting and never enough.

As regal as he was, he was also powerful, capable of making someone question their entire existence with just one look. His domineering aura also extended to a protectiveness over, which weirdly made you feel assured and safe but never suffocated.

As fine of a man as he was, of course he had a bit of a superiority complex but it never oppressed you or scared you. As long as you both were respectful of each other's boundaries and limits, everything was okay and that was an established fact. Besides, if he were a little too perfect, you think you'd be a little paranoid around him. So you guess you can bear a bit of his narcissism that his handsome face and compassionate heart deserved.

"Baby!? What are you thinking?"

A deep baritone that you could swear you felt vibrate deep within you brought you out of your musings as you faced your fiance who had joined you on the couch with two steaming cups of coffee.

"Thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life."

He smiled at you before wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he settled comfortably beside you in a snuggle.

"Hmm lucky you are. What would you have done without me?"

You give him a poker face before hitting him on the chest which made him laugh and hug you a little tighter.

"I love you so much!"

You placed a peck on his lips before smiling at him as you settled his glasses back up his nose.

"I love you more Woo!"

If he is the end result of all your struggles in every universe, then you'd gladly do it all over again.

You once believed love would be burning red but it was a shimmering gold for you and there's nothing you'd change about it.

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