Summary 𓂃˖₊⊹ it’s hard to help your frustrated husband with his sexual needs when you have kids sleeping in the other room, and can’t keep your mouth shut.
Warnings 𓂃˖₊⊹ SMUT, F/M, p in v, unprotected sex, slight breeding mention, biting, soft sex, not proof read
WC 𓂃˖₊⊹ 850~
“Baby, you have to be quiet.”
You bite your lip and close your eyes bringing a pillow over your face to muffle your moans. His thrusts were practically fucking the air out of your lungs.
It was already hard to breathe being under your comforter to soften the sound of his hips smacking the back of your thighs.
One of his hands moves from your leg, to run up your body until he reaches your chest. He runs his thumb over your sensitive nipple and holds his large calloused hand over it squeezing lightly.
“Good girl.”
His thrusts were faster than normal. Things with work, him generally being frustrated, and things building up were all being poured out onto you and his thrusts.
Since having kids you guys barely have time to have sex anymore. When they were younger it was easier to get away with it after they were put to bed, but now that they are older you have to stay quiet so they won’t hear you.
You got tired of not being able to see his face and move the pillow out the way, setting it aside. When you do he smiles when your eyes meet, seeing your soft, fucked out face from trying to keep quiet. He leans forward thrusting faster and kisses your lips.
When he pulls away your moans start getting loud again. You bite your lip noticing, trying to stop them from coming out. He just kisses you again, and again, not stopping so your moans are muffled by his lips.
Your body was buzzing with constant pleasure, your mind not thinking of anything other than how his body feels pushing up against yours.
When you both pull away from the kiss, panting and breathing heavily trying to get air, your whines only get louder.
He looks up at you knowing it would be a problem and brings his hand that was on your chest to your mouth.
“Open for me baby.”
You comply immediately, opening your mouth. When you do, three of his fingers slide in.
“Suck, bite, whatever you need to do to keep that pretty mouth shut.”
You nod lightly and close your mouth around his fingers, sucking softly and grazing your teeth against his knuckles.
You can see the look on his face when he saw how much it was working. He scoffs a light smile holding onto you tighter before thrusting faster. Your body jerks at the sudden pace change and you bite down harder trying to muffle your moans.
“Fuck your so beautiful. You can’t mark me up but no one will know if it’s my hands, right pretty girl?”
You feel tears building up in your eyes along with that fuzzy feeling in your core. You didn’t wanna bite him too hard but you didn’t know how else to stay quiet.
Your hands reach up to his wrist, holding onto him just to have something to grab as you feel your orgasm coming. “Clenching around me so tight. You like being a good girl? Letting me use you like this?”
Your hips move in small circles, begging him to not stop.
You hum around his fingers and nod slightly. He was so close, you could feel his panting against your neck, the twitching of his cock. The heat was overwhelming, the sweat, the humid air in the room from your overheating bodies.
Your moans slow, biting down harder, feeling your body slipping into a state of pleasure. Your body melts, feeling that buzzing take over your body slowly.
“That’s it baby, cum for me.”
Your hands let go of his wrists, your body going limp. You arch your back jerking against his body as you cum over his cock, biting down on his hand hard. You feel his thrusts getting messy before feeling his load filling you up.
His body leans onto yours, making you fully chest to chest, before his hand slides out your mouth, cupping your face making a mess of your own spit all over your cheek and kissing the corner of your lips so you could still catch your breath. His thrusts slow into a stop, but he doesn’t pull out yet. He never pulled out right away. It was like he dragged how long he could stay inside you.
You both go silent, listening to nothing but the ac in the house running. After both recover from your highs, tired and exhausted, he sits back up looking down at you. He just stares, your mascara you were too lazy to take off smudged under your eyes, expression in a slight pout from how tired you are, eyes threatening to close.
He smiles seeing how much he can affect you, and leans down, giving you a proper kiss. You feel his hips softly thrust into you, fucking his load deeper into you.
“You did so good for me, baby. Good job.”
You whine, feeling his cock already growing harder as he did slow thrusts. You pout up at him feeling tired, and sensitive, not knowing if you could handle anything else.
He just smirks, kissing you and looking down at you softly.
“You can give me one more, yeah?”
Authors note 𓂃˖₊⊹ this one is super short but I wanted something short and sweet because I don’t have anything under my bangchan list and HE'S LITERALLY MY ULT so I need something.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ │ smau, crack, suggestive, boobs, reader sends their boyfriend the famous pc boob trend and they love it greatly, REAL BOOBS!! girlfriend used in seungmins ss and babygirl used in jeongins
⟶ [ 𝐤𝐚𝐢’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ] thank you to my lovely team who helped me with sending me in their own pc trend! i much appreciate it! you can find my team tagged down below, psst one is mine ♡ ︎ [ 𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢 ]
⍣ ೋ cw: explicit sexual content, exes to lovers, mutual masturbation , penetrative sex, creampie, crying during sex, pet anxiety, mentions of pregnancy, artist!hyunjin, mdni
notes: in which your situationship ex hyunjin from college asks you to watch his dog for the week--and things spiral from there.
You almost don’t answer.
Your phone buzzes across the table, skittering like a beetle over the wood, and you glance at the screen with the reflex of someone who doesn’t expect surprises anymore.
Hyunjin. The name glows up at you, unfamiliar only in the way it makes your stomach twist—like a song you haven’t heard in years but still remember every lyric to.
It’s been months since you last spoke. Maybe a year since you last saw him. A coffee meetup that turned into wandering aimlessly through the park, talking like nothing had ever gone wrong between you, except it had. That night ended with a long hug and a promise to keep in touch that neither of you kept.
And now he’s calling.
You stare at the screen for another ring. Then another.
Then you answer.
“...Hello?”
There’s a beat of silence, just long enough to make you wonder if he hung up, and then:
“Hey,” he says, breathless like he’d been holding it. “Sorry—sorry to call out of nowhere. I didn’t know who else to ask.”
His voice hasn’t changed. Still soft in a way that wraps around your ribs. Still threaded with that low, careful tension like he’s always thinking five things at once and only saying one.
You shift in your seat, heart suddenly too loud in your chest.
“Okay,” you say slowly, warily. “What’s going on?”
A soft rustle comes through the line—maybe the jingle of keys, maybe his bracelets sliding against his wrist. You picture him pacing his apartment, the same way he used to during finals week, lip caught between his teeth, hair tucked behind one ear.
“I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important,” he says. “And I get that it’s weird. Us not talking, and then—me dropping this on you.”
You glance toward the window, try not to let your voice shake. “What is this, exactly?”
He hesitates. “I have to leave the city. It’s an art residency. Last-minute. It’s… big.”
Your stomach twists again, but this time it’s sharper. Of course it’s big. Hyunjin was always meant for something more.
You lean back in your chair, eyes tracing the rain sliding down the windowpane like it’s trying to draw an answer for you. A part of you wants to ask where he's going, what the project is, if he’s excited—because of course he is, he always was, always buzzing with vision and color and a kind of hunger you never could name. But that part of you lives behind a glass wall now. You’re not sure you’re allowed to tap on it.
So you don’t ask. You swallow the words like coins dropped into a well—silent, swallowed, never coming back up.
“I’m happy for you,” you say instead, and it’s almost true. “You deserve it.”
Hyunjin exhales, and for a second you wonder if he’s smiling. “Thanks. That means more than you probably think.”
It shouldn't. But you don’t say that either.
“I wouldn’t call if I didn’t really need the help,” he adds, voice dipping a little lower now, like he’s bracing for the ask to land wrong. “It’s Kkami. My sitter canceled last minute, and everyone else is either busy or allergic. You were the only person I thought of who could handle him.”
You laugh softly, mostly out of disbelief. “Handle him? Hyun, your dog hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” Hyunjin says, though there’s something too quick in his defense, too breathless—like maybe he’s trying to convince himself. “He’s just... territorial.”
You huff a dry laugh. “Yeah, I remember. He tried to piss on my jeans.”
“That was one time.”
“Twice.”
“Okay, but in his defense, they smelled like me.”
You pause. The silence that follows is sharp and sudden, the kind that cuts deep and clean. It’s the kind of silence that remembers.
Because those jeans had smelled like him—after that night. The last one. The one where he’d backed you against the wall of your own bedroom with his fingers still wet from your mouth, where he’d said things he probably didn’t mean and kissed you like he hated how much he did.
The night you both decided—without saying it—that it was over. That whatever “thing” had been pulsing between you wasn’t something either of you could hold without bleeding.
And yet. Here you are. Picking at it like a scab that never healed right.
Your throat works around the memory before your voice does. You don’t say anything at first—just sit there, hand wrapped too tightly around your phone, eyes fixed on some vague point on the wall like if you don’t move, it won’t reach you. Like you can’t still feel him, breath hot against your neck, hands fisting in your sheets, mouth tracing every soft part of you like he was trying to memorize the map of a place he had no business returning to.
He clears his throat on the other end, and it sounds like guilt. Or maybe longing. You’ve always had trouble telling the difference when it came to him.
“Look,” Hyunjin says, quieter now. “I wouldn’t be asking if I had another option. Kkami doesn’t do well with new spaces, and I can’t board him. He’s too anxious, and if he’s not with someone he knows, he’ll make himself sick.”
You finally speak, though your voice is thin. “So you want me to stay at yours.”
A beat. Then—“Yeah.”
Just like that. No sugarcoating. No backpedaling. Just Hyunjin, honest and bare in the way he always was once he stopped pretending not to feel everything at once.
You run a hand down your face. “Hyun, we haven’t talked in almost a year.”
“I know.”
“You haven’t even seen me since—”
“I know.”
He’s not angry, not defensive. Just… raw. Like the words are scraping him on the way out. You can hear the scrape.
“I didn’t think I’d ever call you again,” he admits. “I thought that was the deal. But when they offered me this residency, and I realized I had to leave tonight—you’re the only person I could trust. With him. With my home.”
You bite the inside of your cheek, hard enough to taste the coppery edge of restraint.
His home.
It’s stupid, really. How easy it is to fall back into this rhythm. How even now, after all the months, all the distance, he can still lace your name with history. You’d been friends once. Kind of. You’d laughed a lot, touched a lot, fucked even more—on couches, against doors, in the low hush of early morning when everything was tender and wrong. It was always supposed to be temporary. Temporary, but all-consuming.
But the feelings crept in like rot through the walls. And neither of you were brave enough to call it love, so you called it off instead.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you say, but even you don’t sound convinced.
“I’ll wash the sheets,” he jokes weakly.
You laugh, soft and involuntary, the sound catching somewhere in your throat. It’s not really about the sheets.
It never was.
And the silence that follows—god, it aches. Not sharp like the aftermath of a fight, but dull and lingering, like a bruise you don’t remember getting. Like a conversation left open on a table, gathering dust.
You clear your throat. “What time’s your flight?”
“Late,” he says. “But I still have to pack a few pieces and drop off the canvases. It’ll be tight.”
“Do you need help?” The words are out before you can catch them. You curse yourself immediately for the softness in your voice.
He hesitates. “No. It’s fine. Just—just the dog. That’s all I need help with.”
Right. The dog.
You glance at your calendar. Clear. Of course it’s clear.
Of course the universe decided to leave space for this.
“Alright,” you murmur. “Just send me the code. I’ll stay at yours. It’s fine.”
“You don’t have to bring anything,” he rushes to say, and it’s like he’s trying to compensate for the ask with over-kindness. “I washed the old blanket. The one you used to crash under on the couch. It’s still there.”
Your fingers tighten around your phone.
He doesn’t mention that the last time you slept under that blanket, you were still tangled in him. Half-dressed. Half-drunk on him. That he pulled it over your hips after, when you were too spent to move, and he kissed your shoulder like he wanted to stay but didn’t know how.
You don’t bring it up either.
Instead, you breathe out slow. “Cool. I’ll head over in an hour or two.”
“Okay.”
Neither of you say I missed you.
Neither of you say This is weird.
Neither of you say Is this going to break us again?
Instead, Hyunjin adds quietly, “I’ll leave a note.”
“For the dog?”
“For you.”
You close your eyes.
“Okay.”
He doesn’t say goodbye. Just… hangs up.
And you let the dial tone ring for a few seconds longer than you should, like maybe he’ll change his mind. Like maybe you will.
But the silence stays.
And when you finally move, dragging out your overnight bag and stuffing it half-heartedly with essentials, you can’t stop thinking about the smell of his apartment. The way the floor creaks by the hallway. The coffee mugs he used to leave near the sink, rimmed with paint. The pictures he never hung. The sketchbook that held a drawing of you in fading graphite—one he never knew you found.
You wonder if it’s still there.
You wonder what else of you is.
The building hasn’t changed.
You hate that you notice. Hate that your fingers still know the keycode before you even read the text. Hate that the elevator creaks on the same floor. That the hallway smells like turmeric and old wood and the trace of him—Hyunjin, in incense and paint and something vaguely sweet.
His apartment door is unlocked, just like he promised. A sticky note is taped to the front, scrawled in the quick, crooked handwriting you used to recognize across lecture halls and grocery lists alike.
“Come in. He’s dramatic, not dangerous. Don’t let him guilt trip you.” —H.
You roll your eyes and open the door.
It looks the same. Lived-in, messy in a way that’s curated. An art book cracked open on the coffee table. Two mugs in the sink. One of his hoodies flung across the back of the couch like he wore it last night. And maybe he did.
You hear the growl before you see him.
Kkami stands in the middle of the living room, ears pinned back, hackles raised, tail stiff like an accusation. He looks you dead in the eye and lets out a snarl so pointed you actually step back.
“Oh, fuck off,” you mutter, tugging your bag higher on your shoulder. “We’ve been over this.”
He growls again. Louder.
You raise your hands. “I come in peace.”
He barks.
You take a careful step inside, nudging the door shut behind you. Kkami follows your every move like you’re an intruder in a palace he was knighted to protect.
“I’m not stealing your shit,” you tell the dog. “I’m just crashing here. Ask your absentee father.”
Kkami doesn’t find it funny.
You inch toward the kitchen, where Hyunjin’s written schedule sits neatly beside two bowls—one for food, one for water. Both full. Fresh.
You glance at the clock. He’s probably already at the airport. Maybe already boarding. Maybe looking down at the city through a plane window, tapping his fingers against the glass like he always did when he was anxious. You wonder if he thought about calling you again. You wonder if he’s relieved you didn’t call him first.
Kkami lets out a soft, pitiful whine behind you. When you turn, he’s sitting but tense, eyes never leaving you. Suspicious. Wounded. Territorial, like Hyunjin said.
“Jesus, you’re worse than him,” you sigh.
A folded slip of paper catches your eye. It’s tucked under the magnet shaped like a paintbrush on the fridge. Your name is written across the front.
Your throat tightens.
You don’t open it. Not yet.
You drop your bag by the couch and finally take a seat, letting the quiet settle around you. The apartment hums with memory. You used to sit here wrapped in his hoodie, eating leftover tteokbokki at midnight, legs draped across his lap while he rubbed lazy circles into your shin. You used to kiss in this corner. Fuck in this corner. Sleep in the bed down the hall like it meant nothing, even when it meant too much.
Kkami barks once—sharp and offended—then hops up onto the other end of the couch and curls into a tight, annoyed little donut.
“Truce?” you offer.
He sneezes. Well then.
You sigh and reach for your phone. Maybe you can FaceTime Hyunjin later. Let the dog see him. Hear him. Maybe that’ll help.
Or maybe it’ll make everything worse.
You glance over at the folded blanket. The place where you used to lay your head.
And wonder how long it’ll take for this place to feel empty without him in it.
You don’t sleep well that first night.
Kkami stays curled at the farthest edge of the bed like he’s punishing you, his little back turned, ears twitching at every shift you make beneath the sheets. He doesn’t bark, but he lets out these occasional, theatrical sighs—deep, betrayed, bone-deep things—like you’ve committed the ultimate offense by existing where Hyunjin should be.
You get it.
You feel it too.
In the morning, you wake before the sun finishes rising. The air in the apartment is cold, the kind of cold that seeps into your joints, your thoughts, the hollow behind your ribs. You drag Hyunjin’s blanket from the couch and wrap yourself in it, settle on the floor near the window with a mug of instant coffee that tastes like cardboard and nostalgia.
Kkami watches you from the kitchen doorway, still suspicious.
“Do you have a schedule, or are we just winging it?” you ask him.
He sneezes and turns his head. No comment.
The hours pass slow. You walk him—twice. He barks at a bus, growls at a stroller, and refuses to let you tie his leash to the bench while you grab a coffee from the corner place Hyunjin used to love. You wind up going without.
At noon, you wander the apartment, not touching anything but looking at everything. A half-finished canvas still rests on the easel in the corner. It’s abstract—something celestial, maybe. Blue and smoke and gold bleeding together like bruises in motion. You don’t know if it’s new. You don’t ask.
You think about texting him. Just something simple. He misses you already. Or He hasn’t peed on anything today. But the words feel too light. Too personal. You settle for:
12:31 PM — [You]: he ate most of his food. drank a lot of water too. no accidents.
The read receipt comes instantly. His reply is a few minutes later:
12:36 PM — [Hyunjin]: thank you <3
The heart curls in your chest. You close the app.
You make pasta for dinner and Kkami doesn’t touch his kibble until you sit beside him on the floor and pretend to eat a piece. Then he snarfs it all down like he’s proving a point.
That night, he won’t sleep again. He whines. He paces. He jumps down from the bed and runs to the door, then back again. Tail twitching. Eyes darting.
When you try to pet him, he flinches like he’s expecting a trick. You sit on the floor again, cross-legged in Hyunjin’s oversized hoodie (you told yourself you brought it by accident), and say softly, “He’s not here. It’s just me.”
He whines again. Low and pitiful.
“Me too,” you whisper.
You glance toward the kitchen. Toward the fridge. That little slip of paper still waits, untouched beneath the magnet shaped like a paintbrush. Your name in his handwriting. Like a bruise. Like a dare.
You haven’t opened it. Not yet.
You slept on the couch.
Not because the bed wasn’t made—Hyunjin had even tucked in the corners, left a glass of water on the nightstand like he thought about what you’d need—but because you couldn’t bring yourself to crawl into the same sheets you used to wake up tangled in. Not when the scent of him still lived in the pillowcases. Not when the memory of his hands on your bare back still lingered in the seams of the duvet.
So you curled up under the old blanket instead, the one you used to steal during lazy afternoons and Netflix half-watched kisses and accepted the fact that your neck was going to ache in the morning. Kkami refused to join you. He spent most of the night pacing between the door and the hallway, growling at shadows.
The second night is worse.
Kkami is inconsolable. He won’t eat. Won’t lie down. Won’t stop pacing between the front door and the window like he’s waiting for Hyunjin to materialize from thin air. At one point, he noses Hyunjin’s shoes—left by the entryway—and lets out a sound so hollow and pitiful it actually makes your eyes sting.
You try everything. Treats. Music. White noise. The blanket that still smells like Hyunjin’s shampoo. But nothing works. It’s like something inside him is unraveling, the cord pulled too tight and fraying with every hour he doesn’t see the one person he’s built his little world around.
Same, you think bitterly, and feel stupid for it.
You end up sitting on the kitchen floor around midnight, your legs numb, your patience thinner than it’s been in weeks. Kkami’s resting his chin on his paws but still letting out this tiny, high-pitched whine every few seconds, like he’s trying not to cry but can’t help it.
And that sound—god, that sound shatters something in you.
You sigh, rub your face with both hands, and reach for your phone.
12:04 AM — [You]: he won’t sleep. he’s been crying for an hour. won’t eat either.
You don’t expect him to reply. Not at this hour, not while he’s halfway across the country doing Important Artist Things.
But your screen lights up with an incoming FaceTime call within seconds.
Your heart drops into your stomach.
You hesitate. Just for a second.
Then answer.
And for the first time in nearly a year, you see him.
Hyunjin’s face fills the screen—soft-lit and sleepy, hoodie bunched around his neck like he’d just been getting ready for bed. But it’s not just the setting that throws you. It’s him.
The long hair you used to run your fingers through—gone. All of it.
In its place: a buzzcut. Clean, close, severe in a way that shouldn’t suit him but somehow does. It makes his features sharper, more present. Like there’s nothing to hide behind anymore.
You blink. You don’t mean to stare, but the shock is immediate, visceral.
“Hi,” he says, quiet.
You swallow. “Hi.”
He sits up straighter. “Is he okay?”
You shift the camera toward Kkami, who immediately perks up. His ears shoot up like radar, and he lets out a small, startled bark before beelining to your lap—bumping his snout into the phone like he’s trying to crawl through it.
Hyunjin laughs. It’s breathless. Disbelieving.
“God, he’s dramatic.”
“He gets it from you,” you mutter.
Kkami presses against your chest like he’s trying to bury himself in your heart, finally calm now, finally still. You stroke a hand down his back and try not to think about the fact that it took Hyunjin’s voice to soothe him.
You glance at the screen again. Hyunjin’s watching you, not Kkami.
There’s a beat where neither of you speak. The only sound is Kkami’s soft breathing and the low hum of the city outside the window.
Then, gently:
“I left you something,” he says.
You swallow. “I know.”
“I wasn’t sure if you’d find it.”
“I did.”
“You gonna open it?”
You glance toward the fridge. The note still waits, tucked under the paintbrush magnet like a secret too fragile to touch.
“Not yet,” you say.
And he doesn’t push. Just nods. “Okay.”
Kkami shifts closer to your thigh and exhales, finally resting his chin on your knee. You pet him with one hand, still holding the phone in the other.
“He’s sleeping now,” you whisper.
“So are you.”
You blink. “What?”
“Your eyes,” he says. “They do that thing. The little flutter when you’re about to crash.”
You’re too tired to argue. Too tired to ask why he remembers that.
“I’ll hang up,” he offers.
You don’t say no.
You just murmur, “Goodnight, Hyun.”
And you hear the softness in his voice as he says it back:
“Goodnight.”
You don’t sleep much better that night.
But Kkami doesn’t cry again.
The next few days fall into a strange kind of rhythm—quiet, off-kilter, but somehow soothing in the way old routines can be, even when they’re made of things that weren’t meant to last.
Kkami still hates you by daylight.
He growls when you walk into the room. Barks when you open the fridge. Refuses to eat unless you pretend not to look. He doesn’t let you pet him unless he’s half-asleep or tricked by a treat, and he definitely doesn’t let you forget that this is his house, his couch, his missing person.
But at night, when Hyunjin calls, it’s like a switch flips.
Kkami leaps into your lap the moment the ringtone echoes through the apartment. He curls there, fast and warm and trembling just slightly, like he’s spent all day building tension he doesn’t know how to unspool without Hyunjin’s voice in the room.
You always answer on the couch, blanket pulled tight around your shoulders, phone propped up against a half-full glass of water. Hyunjin always looks a little tired, a little flushed from wherever he’s just come back from—a gallery tour, a studio session, a walk through some city that doesn’t have your footprints on its sidewalks.
He tells you about the art residency. The gallery director who makes coffee that tastes like battery acid. The studio space—wide and cold and full of light. He tells you about a piece he’s working on: abstract, rough, loud in a way he hasn’t painted in years.
“You’d hate it,” he laughs, voice crackling faintly through the call. “It’s all jagged lines. Chaos. I think it’s about… hunger. Or maybe grief. I don’t know.”
“I never hated your work,” you say.
Hyunjin quiets. Then, low:
“You hated what it did to me.”
Your breath catches.
Because he’s right.
You did.
You hated the way he disappeared into it—into himself—those long stretches of silence when he wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep, wouldn’t touch you unless it was desperate and fleeting, like he was chasing the ghost of something he could never quite hold. You hated the way he used his own pain like paint thinner, diluted himself until all that was left was color on canvas and a shell of the boy you used to fall asleep beside.
But you don’t say that.
You just sit there, curled on his couch in his hoodie you’ve stolen from his drawer, your phone glowing in the soft hush of midnight.
“I hated how much it hurt you,” you say instead. “That’s not the same thing.”
Hyunjin nods slowly, his lips pressed into a line. “No. It’s not.”
Kkami shifts in your lap, stretching a little, his snout nudging your elbow before he sighs and drifts deeper into sleep. You stroke his fur absently, eyes still locked on the screen, on Hyunjin’s face—the new angles of it, the way the buzzcut makes him look older, sharper, like a wound that finally scabbed over.
He watches you for a while. Then murmurs, “I was scared to call you.”
You smile, tired and small. “I figured.”
“I thought you’d say no. That you wouldn’t even answer.”
“I almost didn’t.”
His throat bobs. “Why’d you say yes?”
You don’t answer right away.
Because it’s not just about the dog. Not just about the key he left under the stairs or the food already stocked or the note still waiting on the fridge like a breath you’re not ready to exhale.
You look at him. Really look.
And when you speak, it’s quiet. Honest.
“Because I missed you. Even when I hated missing you.”
The silence after is different this time.
He blinks. His mouth parts like he’s going to say something, but all that comes out is a whisper.
“Fuck.”
You let out a laugh—dry, breathless. “Yeah.”
He shifts on the screen, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. “You still sleep on the couch?”
“Every night.”
“Why?”
“Because the bed remembers more than I’m ready to.”
His eyes flicker. He nods once. Like he understands. Like he hasn’t been sleeping either.
Another pause. Then—
“I dream about you,” he says.
And it’s not a confession. It’s a bruise. Something he’s been pressing on in the dark just to see if it still hurts.
You blink. “Hyun—”
“Not just the sex,” he adds, voice hoarse. “Though… yeah. That too. A lot, actually.”
You glance away, heat creeping up your neck. “You don’t have to say that.”
“I want to,” he says. “I want you to know I still—”
He cuts himself off. Breathes out hard. Shakes his head.
Kkami stirs in your lap, shifting slightly. The air feels too tight suddenly, the silence too loud.
You focus on Kkami. On the slow rise and fall of his small body, the way his paws twitch in sleep like he’s chasing something warm. It grounds you—barely.
Hyunjin exhales on the other end of the line. You can hear it, soft and ragged, the kind of breath that holds everything he didn’t say. Everything he still might.
You don’t speak. Not yet. Because what could you say? I still touch myself to the thought of you? I still wear your hoodie like armor when I can’t sleep? I still think about that night on the floor when we couldn’t stop, even though we knew it was already over?
None of it would come out right.
So instead, you keep your voice even when you ask, “Do you paint me?”
The question slips out before you can stop it. You don't even know why you asked it. Maybe its because you're so sleepy you can't filter you're thoughts. Maybe because he mentioned it once, over soggy cereal over the golden morning light that filtered through the blinds, over the laughter you've never quite had again.
Hyunjin stills.
On the screen, he doesn’t look shocked. He looks… worn. Like someone who’s been carrying the answer around for a while and doesn’t know where to put it.
“I try not to,” he says eventually. Quiet. Careful. “But you always end up there.”
Your breath falters. You nod slowly, like that’s an answer you expected—because it is. Because you knew. Somehow, you always knew.
You shift the phone slightly, angle it so he can see the window behind you. The dark skyline. The reflection of the room, soft and gold and full of ghosts. Your voice is steadier than you feel when you say, “I haven’t opened it.”
“I know,” he replies, just as soft.
“I want to. But…”
“You don’t have to explain.”
“I think I need more time.”
“Take it,” he murmurs. “I left it because I had to, not because I needed anything back.”
You nod. Not that he can see it—not really. But somehow, you think he feels it anyway.
“Okay,” you say. It's the only thing you can manage that doesn’t crack under its own weight.
A pause stretches between you. Soft. Not cold. Just full. Like the breath before a confession. Like the second before a kiss.
Kkami snores lightly, curled deeper into your lap now, his whole body lax with trust. You glance down at him, stroke a thumb between his ears, then look back at the screen.
Hyunjin’s still watching you. Not the dog. Not the view.
Just you.
“You’re wearing my hoodie,” he murmurs, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You shrug, suddenly shy. “Didn’t pack enough layers.”
“I knew you’d steal something,” he says, teasing, but low—like he's remembering the way you used to steal everything from him. His clothes. His time. His breath.
“You left the drawer cracked open on purpose.”
“Maybe.”
His smile softens into something quieter. More real.
“I used to love seeing you in my stuff,” he adds. “Used to come home and hope you’d be there. Curled up in it. Pretending to wait for me.”
You swallow. It’s harder than it should be. “I wasn’t pretending.”
Hyunjin blinks slowly. Like that hit him somewhere unexpected. Somewhere tender.
And then, quietly, almost afraid to hope: “Are you still?”
You could lie. You could deflect. But instead, you meet his eyes through the screen.
“I haven’t been with anyone else.”
His jaw works. “Neither have I.”
The words land between you like a marker—drawing a line not to separate, but to measure distance. And maybe the distance isn’t as wide as you thought.
Your fingers curl a little tighter in Kkami’s fur.
“I should go to bed,” you say. Your voice is quiet. A little raw.
“Okay,” Hyunjin whispers. “Me too.”
But neither of you move. The seconds tick by. You don’t even blink.
Eventually, he says, “Tomorrow night. Can I call again?”
You let out a soft breath, not quite a laugh. “Hyun… you’ve been calling every night.”
His smile doesn’t fade, but it shifts—tilts into something deeper. Less playful. More certain.
“I know,” he says. “But that was for Kkami.”
You blink. “And tomorrow?”
His gaze doesn’t waver. Not once.
“That’s for you.”
It knocks the wind out of you a little, the way he says it. Not romantic. Not dramatic. Just simple. True. Like he’s only just letting himself say it out loud, but he’s known it all along.
Your throat tightens. “Oh.”
Hyunjin watches you carefully. “Is that okay?”
You nod once. “Yeah. It’s… more than okay.”
Something in his posture loosens then, like he’s been holding a breath he can finally let go of. His shoulders drop. His mouth twitches again, a smile fighting its way to the surface but not quite forming—like he’s still afraid to want too much, to hope too fast.
You don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Not really.
But you know you’ll answer.
And maybe this time you’ll stop pretending it’s for the dog.
“You’re on the bed.”
Hyunjin says it the moment the screen connects. No hello. No lead-up. Just those four words, soft and low and unmistakably aware.
You blink at him from where you’re sitting, back pressed to the headboard, knees pulled up beneath the comforter. His comforter.
You almost lie. Almost say you were just passing through. That the light was better in here. That Kkami stole the couch.
But Hyunjin’s already smiling—slow and knowing, like he’s been waiting for this.
You exhale through your nose. “Kkami’s on the couch.”
“Mm,” he hums, a little amused. “So it’s just you in my bed.”
Your fingers tighten around the phone, feeling a little flustered. “Is that going to be a problem?”
His eyes darken a shade, but the smile stays. “Not even a little.”
You roll onto your side, careful not to let the phone slip. The sheets are warm beneath you, still smelling faintly like cedar and fabric softener and something only he ever carried. His presence is everywhere in this room. On the walls. In the folded clothes. Under your skin.
Hyunjin shifts on his end of the call—he’s propped up on pillows, a fitted black tank clinging to his chest, the cut of it leaving little to the imagination. His toned arms are on full display, lean muscle catching the dim light, subtle and sculpted like something sketched in charcoal. His expression is unreadable, caught somewhere between reverence and restraint.
“I thought about you today,” he says after a beat.
You tuck your face into the pillow, just a little. “Like you usually do?”
“Yeah,” he breathes. “But this time I didn’t fight it.”
Your heart thuds against your ribs, slow and heavy. “What were you thinking?”
His gaze dips, like he’s shy all of a sudden. “That I miss you. That I used to wake up to you in that bed.”
You swallow, voice thinner now. “It’s a little colder without you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
The silence that follows is different from all the others before it. It’s thick. Electric. It hums with all the things neither of you have said but haven’t stopped feeling. The kind of silence that shifts when the air gets warmer, when the breath starts catching, when the ache finally starts to slip through.
Hyunjin wets his lips. His voice is barely a whisper. “You look good there.”
You bite the inside of your cheek. “I feel... restless.”
He shifts again, almost imperceptibly. “Tell me.”
Your gaze flickers. “Tell you what?”
“What you’re thinking. Right now.”
You hesitate.
But then, softly, deliberately: “I was thinking about your hands.”
Hyunjin’s mouth parts slightly.
“I was thinking about how you used to touch me here,” you say, dragging your fingers over the blanket, slow, just below your collarbone. “And here.” Down, lower now, to the place between your ribs.
His breath stutters through the speaker.
“And I was wondering…” you murmur, voice barely above a hum, “if you miss the way I used to say your name when you touched me like that.”
Hyunjin closes his eyes for a second. When he opens them again, they’re dark, focused, hungry.
“I think about it all the time,” he says. “Every fucking night.”
Your thighs press together under the blanket. You feel your pulse everywhere—behind your knees, in your fingertips, between your legs. It’s not even about the sex. Not yet. It’s about the weight of being wanted by someone who remembers you—who still remembers.
“I haven’t touched anyone else,” you say.
He swallows hard. “Don’t.”
“I don’t want to.”
Hyunjin nods slowly. “Me either.”
Then, quiet: “Can I stay on the call?”
You blink. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” he says, voice rough now, “if I asked you to touch yourself… would you let me watch?”
Your breath catches. Not from nerves. From need.
You don’t say yes. You just let the phone settle against the pillow beside you, angled toward your face, the way he used to tilt your chin when he wanted a better look at how undone you were.
The sheets shift as your hand moves lower.
Hyunjin watches. And when he speaks, it’s barely a whisper, like he’s already somewhere far beneath the surface with you.
“Fuck. You always looked so pretty like this.”
You inhale shakily, fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your sleep shorts, slow and careful, testing the heat already gathered there.
Hyunjin’s eyes drag down your body. His tongue flicks out to wet his lips. His voice is rough with memory.
“Remember that time on the floor? After your exam? You were so out of it—barely undressed. I just shoved your panties to the side and made you come in, what, two minutes?”
You let out a quiet, choked sound at the back of your throat.
He smiles—crooked, dark. “Yeah. You clenched so hard around my fingers I thought I’d lose them.”
You whimper softly. Your hand moves slow, wet, dragging through the mess of your own need, slick pooling beneath your fingertips like your body remembers him even better than your mind does.
“God, that sound,” Hyunjin breathes. “That little gasp when you’re just starting to touch yourself. Same one you made when I used to run my fingers down your stomach—real slow, just to watch you twitch.”
You press harder against your clit, circles tightening, mouth falling open as your back arches into the memory. He’s not even touching you, and still—your body bends like it’s learned him by muscle memory.
Hyunjin notices. Of course he does.
“Look at you,” he murmurs, voice gone low and ragged, the kind that scrapes the inside of your throat just hearing it. “All spread out in my bed. Fucking yourself open with your hand like you want me to see everything. Like you know I used to make you feel better than anyone else ever could.”
You moan, breath catching, and Hyunjin’s smile sharpens.
“Touch your tits,” he says, not as a command—but a conjuring. Like he already knows you’re aching for it. “Lift your shirt for me.”
You obey without a sound, pushing the hem up slowly, just enough to expose the curve of one breast, the soft point of your nipple hard and aching from the friction of your shirt.
He groans. “You remember how obsessed I was with your tits? Couldn’t stop sucking on them. Couldn’t stop biting.” His jaw clenches. “You used to beg me to be gentle. And then beg me not to stop.”
Your fingers slide down again—slippery, desperate. Your thighs shake under the weight of it. The rhythm is messier now, your hips chasing pressure. Hyunjin watches all of it, his hand dragging down his torso, disappearing beneath his waistband.
“Touching yourself in my bed,” he growls. “Wearing my shirt. Letting me watch while you make yourself come for me.”
He’s panting now, hand working slow, deliberate strokes beneath the screen. His tank top clings to his chest, sweat beading along his collarbones. His buzzed hair is messy, sticking slightly to his forehead, and his mouth—his fucking mouth—is red and parted, like he’s still tasting you.
“You remember the way I used to fuck you from behind?” he says. “Pushed your face into the mattress, held your hips like you’d run from me if I let go?”
You whimper—your fingers falter, then speed up.
“Could barely breathe, baby. You’d just sob into the sheets. You loved it. Took every inch, crying like you couldn’t handle it—and still begged for more.”
Your body goes taut, heels digging into the mattress, orgasm hovering just out of reach.
Hyunjin's voice drops to a growl, breath quick and filthy. “Bet your pussy’s fucking tight right now. Clenching like it forgot what it’s supposed to take—like it’s trying to remember the shape of my cock.”
He groans, low and wrecked. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll teach it again. I’ll stretch you open so slow you feel it for days. Won’t stop ‘til you’re dripping all over my sheets, crying into the pillow, begging for more.”
You whimper his name—helpless. Shattered.
“You want me to say it?” Hyunjin pants, fist working now, muscles flexing. “Want me to tell you how I’d do it?”
You nod, frantic. Desperate.
His voice turns molten. Thick with lust, arrogance, something cruel and beautiful.
“I’d start slow. Tease you with just the tip. Let you feel the stretch, let you beg for the rest of it. Then I’d give you all of it at once—deep, hard. Just to see you fucking cry.”
You do cry out. The tension in your body snaps tighter, hips lifting off the bed, toes curling. So close.
“I’d fuck you into the mattress,” he growls. “Grip your hips and slam into you so hard you’d lose your voice. You remember how I’d do that? Say, ‘You’re not done yet, baby. You can take it.’ And you always fucking would.”
You’re whimpering now, moaning into your own shoulder to muffle the sound, fingers moving in slippery, filthy rhythm. The orgasm’s close—so close—spooling at the base of your spine, hot and tight and relentless.
“Oh, fuck, there it is,” he gasps, fucking into his fist now, stroking faster. “You’re close. I can see it—hear it. Just like that, baby. Let go for me. Come for the boy who still dreams about the way you taste. Come for the fucking lunatic who’d trade his last painting just to feel your pussy clench around his fingers one more time.”
That breaks you.
You moan his name—soft, ruined, high-pitched—and you come with your hand buried between your thighs, eyes fluttering, back arching. The pleasure pulses through you in waves, soaked and frantic and unstoppable.
“God, you’re still so fucking perfect,” he grits out. “I could’ve painted this. You—like that. That’s my favorite version of you.”
You whimper, still trembling.
He grins. Dark. Gleaming. “Wanna see what you do to me?”
You nod, dizzy.
He shifts the phone—just enough for you to see the slick length of him in his hand. Red at the tip, dripping, veins thick under taut skin. His pace is ruthless now.
“I used to fuck your thighs just to tease you,” he pants. “Not even your pussy. Just that pretty space between them. Used to slide my cock right there and come all over your stomach.”
You let out a breathy sound of disbelief, hips twitching in aftershock. Your cunt flutters around nothing, empty and aching.
“Fucking ruined me,” he snarls. “You ruined me. No one else has even come close. No one sounds like you. No one feels like you.”
And then, through gritted teeth:
“I’m gonna come thinking about your mouth. That filthy little tongue. That sweet fucking smile you gave me while I fucked your throat.”
Your legs tremble again.
“Fuck, baby—fuckfuckfuck—”
He comes with your name on his tongue, head thrown back, muscles tensed, body shuddering through it as his hips stutter beneath the blanket. His jaw slackens, hand squeezing out the last twitch of pleasure.
The silence after is sharp. Breathless.
Your own body still buzzes, skin flushed, sheets damp with sweat and want and memory.
Neither of you speak at first. Just breathing. Just staring.
Eventually, Hyunjin looks up again. His voice is hoarse, trembling at the edges.
“Tell me this isn’t just sex.”
You don’t.
You just stare back.
And then you hang up.
You hang up, and your hand is still trembling. Your whole body is still trembling, wrecked in ways that have nothing to do with the orgasm.
It takes less than a minute for him to call back.
Then again.
And again.
You watch the screen light up with his name—Hyun—and each time, it makes your stomach twist so violently it feels like punishment. Like grief.
You don’t answer.
The fifth time, he stops calling. Thirty seconds later, your phone dings with a text.
[Hyunjin]: i’m sorry. please just tell me if that was too much. [Hyunjin]: i didn’t mean to push you. i didn’t mean to fuck everything up.
[Hyunjin]: we don’t have to talk about it. we can pretend it didn’t happen if you want. i’ll follow your lead. just… please say something.
You don’t respond to those either.
You just turn off read receipts and shove the phone under the pillow.
The next few days go by in a strange, slow blur.
You and Kkami settle into a rhythm. He doesn’t bark anymore when you walk past. Doesn’t flinch when you reach for his leash. He even curls up at your feet when you’re on the couch, sometimes nuzzling his nose into your ankle like he’s already decided you belong here.
It should feel comforting.
It doesn’t.
You stop sitting in Hyunjin’s bed. You stop wearing the hoodie. You wash it, fold it, and put it back exactly where you found it, like none of this ever happened.
You send him brief texts. Clipped. Neutral.
[You]: he ate all his dinner. no accidents. slept fine.
[You]: took him for a walk. he peed on someone’s shoe.
[You]: when’s your flight again?
You don’t tell him how it feels like the walls have closed in.
How you’ve stopped sleeping in his bed again—even if the couch hurts your back. Even if the couch doesn’t smell quite like him.
How Kkami curls up beside you now without growling, without guilt. You take him for long walks. Let him tug you through the park. Let him bark at pigeons and lick your knuckles and rest his chin on your thigh when you scroll through old texts you don’t send anymore.
You don’t cry. But your chest aches in a way that feels dangerously close.
You were never going to be able to leave without feeling like this.
But now it’s worse. Because you let yourself want again.
And it’s giving you vertigo.
[Hyunjin]: should be back around 5:30. just leave the key in the box. thank you again. for everything.
You stare at the message for a long time.
Not because of what it says.
But because of what it doesn’t.
And what you don’t know is this:
Hyunjin’s lying.
His flight lands at 3:10.
He’s already halfway through the city when you’re zipping up your bag.
He’s already in the elevator by the time you’re taking out the trash.
And he’s standing at the front door—key in hand, chest tight, hands shaking—when you reach for the handle to leave.
You open the door and nearly collide with him.
You freeze.
The air catches.
Time does something strange.
Hyunjin’s just… there.
Sweatshirt slung over his shoulder, suitcase by his side, curls of damp air clinging to the collar of his shirt from the humid sprint through the city. And his eyes—sharp, dark, wide with something between relief and devastation—lock onto yours like he’s forgotten how to blink.
For a second, neither of you speaks.
Then—
“Hyun—?”
Kkami barrels into view like a missile. He lets out a shrill bark of excitement and practically throws himself into Hyunjin’s legs, circling and jumping and whining like he’s just won the fucking lottery.
But Hyunjin doesn’t look down. Doesn’t move. Doesn’t even blink.
He just stares at you.
And says, low, quiet, steady:
“You were really gonna leave.”
You clutch your bag a little tighter. “You said you’d be back at five.”
“I lied.”
You swallow. “I figured that part out.”
His jaw clenches. His hands twitch by his sides, like he doesn’t know whether to reach for you or shove them into his pockets or bury them in your skin just to make sure you’re real.
Kkami lets out another bark, trying to wedge his head between you two like he’s the center of gravity—but Hyunjin doesn’t even glance down. Not once.
All of him is focused on you.
“You weren’t going to say goodbye.”
It’s not a question. It’s an accusation. A plea. A wound.
“I didn’t think you wanted me to.”
“Bullshit.”
That makes you flinch. Just a little. He sees it. His expression softens, but only barely.
Hyunjin steps forward. Not fast—but purposeful. Like if he stops now, you’ll disappear all over again.
“I’m sorry,” he says, voice taut with something sharp. “I’m sorry I came on too strong. I’m sorry I didn’t give you time. I’m sorry I didn’t say what I should’ve said months ago, years ago—fuck, the morning after. But don’t stand here and tell me I didn’t want you.”
You inhale—tight, shallow. Like there’s no room in your lungs for this.
For him.
“Hyun—”
“No,” he cuts in, but it’s not cruel. Just cracked. “You don’t get to walk out and let me find the ghost of you in my bed again. Not after you let me see you like that. Not after I—”
His voice breaks.
He swallows it down.
Kkami sits at his feet now, finally quiet, as if even he knows this part isn’t his.
“I meant it,” Hyunjin says, softer now. “That night. Everything I said. Everything I remembered. It wasn’t just to get you off.”
Your fingers tighten around the strap of your bag.
“You said you missed me,” he goes on. “But then you shut the door in my face. And I was willing to pretend I didn’t care. I was willing to take scraps just to be near you. But if you’re still standing in front of me—if you haven’t walked away yet—then just fucking tell me.”
He looks at you like he’s trying to memorize you all over again.
You look at him. Really look. And you know—he’s not going to let you run.
Not this time.
“Go get the note.”
His voice is soft, but firm. Like a command spoken through a kiss. Like an ache wrapped in velvet.
You blink. “What?”
“The letter,” he repeats. “The one I left you. On the fridge.”
You freeze.
“I know you haven’t opened it.”
You swallow. “I wasn’t ready.”
“I don’t care,” he says, and there’s a flicker of something dark in his voice—something possessive, guttural. “I want you to read it. Now.”
You hesitate.
“Please,” he adds, and that’s what breaks you.
You nod—barely—and turn without a word. Each step toward the kitchen feels thick, underwater.
You open it, and—
It’s not a letter.
Not really.
It’s a patchwork of thoughts, of half-confessions. Scribbled lines, crossed-out phrases, uneven spacing. The ink changes color midway—black, then blue, then black again. Some words are written in cursive. Some in a rush. Some like they cost him something to write.
You glance up. He nods again.
“Read it,” he says. “Out loud.”
You hesitate. Then you read.
“You once laughed in your sleep, and I didn’t sleep at all that night. I just watched you and hoped that whoever you were dreaming about looked like me.”
You swallow hard. Keep going.
The ink shifts color. From deep black to something fainter. Navy. A pen running dry, maybe.
Your voice wavers.
“There’s a sweater you left. It doesn’t smell like you anymore. I hold it anyway.”
Hyunjin’s throat works. He doesn’t interrupt.
“I never painted your face. Couldn’t do it. Couldn’t get your eyes right. But I painted your hands. A hundred times. Because they always knew how to hold me better than I knew how to ask.”
Your chest twists. You can’t speak the words out loud anymore, but you read. You read and read and read until there is nothing left, until the space between you feels alive–electric.
He steps forward. Just one step. But it’s enough to close the distance.
“I had people,” he continues. “So many people I could’ve called. People I trust. People who would’ve said yes.”
His eyes are burning now—dark, wet, glittering with something fragile and ferocious.
“But I didn’t want them. I wanted you.”
You don’t say anything. Can’t. Your hands are trembling.
“I told myself it was about Kkami. About the timing. About convenience.” He huffs out a broken laugh. “But it wasn’t. It was you. It was always you.”
Your breath falters.
“I missed you,” he says. “So much it made me sick. I thought I could bury it. Paint over it. Work through it. But I couldn’t. I never did. You’ve always been underneath it all—under the hunger, the silence, the mess I made of myself.”
He steps closer. You’re breathing the same air now.
“I loved you then,” he says. “When we were tangled up in bedsheets and half-truths and pretending it didn’t mean anything. I loved you when you wore my hoodie and called me yours with your eyes. I loved you the second I saw you, and I—”
His voice cracks.
“And I love you now.”
You don't remember moving. Don’t remember closing the gap, dropping your bag, reaching for him with hands that should’ve known better.
All you know is this: one second, you're blinking back tears, and the next, you're kissing him like you're drowning.
Hyunjin catches you with both hands—one at your jaw, the other curling around your waist, steadying. The kiss is messy, open-mouthed, frantic. His lips part on a gasp when you press your body to his, and then he's devouring you like something starved.
Your back hits the wall. His teeth scrape your bottom lip. Fingers thread into his hair—short now, prickling at the scalp—and he groans like it’s breaking him.
You drop your bag. You don’t even hear it hit the floor.
You don’t care.
His hands are everywhere. On your waist, your hips, the curve of your spine. He pulls you in so tight you feel the tremor in his arms, the sheer desperation coiled in his chest like a spring pulled too far.
“Fuck,” he whispers, forehead pressed to yours. “I’ve wanted this—I’ve wanted you—”
His voice breaks again, and then he’s back on you, lips trailing across your jaw, down the line of your neck. You tilt your head back, eyes fluttering shut, mouth parting on a moan as he bites softly into your throat—just enough to mark. Just enough to remember.
Your hands scrabble at the hem of his shirt, yanking it up, palms hungry on bare skin. He hisses as your nails drag over his stomach, muscles twitching beneath the heat of your touch.
“Take it off,” you breathe.
He does. In one motion, the tank top is gone—flung to the floor like it offended him. And you stare. You can’t help it.
He’s still art. Still all sharp lines and soft skin and lean, desperate hunger. His chest heaves with every breath, sweat glinting in the hollow of his throat, and you think: I could die like this. I could burn for him and never want to be saved.
Hyunjin kisses you again—harder this time, hungrier. Like he heard it. Like he wants to go up in flames with you.
His hands slide under your thighs, lifting you without warning, and you gasp as your back hits the wall again, legs wrapping instinctively around his waist. The air shifts. Your breath catches. His cock presses against you through his jeans—thick, hot, twitching with every grind of his hips.
“I can’t wait,” he pants against your mouth. “I need to be inside you. Right now.”
“Then do it,” you breathe, dragging your nails down his back. “Hyune—please—”
Hyunjin breathes something that sounds like a curse, or maybe a prayer, and then he’s walking—stumbling, really—half-guided by the desperate way you’re clinging to him, the press of your mouths, the sharp hitch of your breath when he grabs at your ass to hold you higher. You barely register the shift from wall to bedroom until your back hits the mattress, until the world becomes sheets and skin and the low rasp of his voice murmuring your name like it’s sacred.
The mattress gives beneath your weight, springs groaning under the tangle of limbs and heat and history. Hyunjin follows you down like gravity itself — hands sliding, mouth chasing, body already slotting between your thighs as if it never forgot where it belonged.
His shirt is gone. Yours joins it. He kisses you through every inch of skin he unveils, frantic and starved and reverent, like he’s not sure whether to worship you or ruin you.
You arch beneath him when his tongue traces the curve of your breast, the bite of his teeth following fast after — a soft sting that makes your breath catch, your fingers dig into his shoulders. He groans when your nails drag down his back, when your thighs fall open wider.
And then he’s there — rutting against your center, clothed still but so hard it aches through the friction, the weight of him pressing perfect and punishing between your legs.
You can’t think. Can’t breathe. Can only move — hips grinding up to meet every desperate push of his, your cunt soaked and aching with the need to be filled.
Hyunjin’s hand slips down, hooking your thigh over his hip. He grinds into you through the last barrier, jeans rough against your soaked underwear, and it’s filthy the way your body answers—already arching, already clenching around nothing. You chase the friction shamelessly, trying to wring every ounce of pressure you can from the maddening drag of his cock pressed to your core.
He hisses against your throat, breath hot, teeth scraping the fragile skin there. You’re drenched. There’s no mistaking it—the way your panties cling, the way your slick seeps through them and stains his jeans, how he shudders just from the heat of you pulsing against the fabric.
The zipper’s down before you can even register the motion. He pushes his jeans low enough to free himself—hard and heavy and flushed dark with want. Your mouth waters at the sight of it. He tears your panties off with a quiet growl, not cruel, just crazed with the need to feel skin on skin, no more layers, no more time.
When he lines up and pushes in, it’s one long, devastating stroke—his cock thick and perfect and stretching you open like you were made for it.
You gasp—sharp, strangled. Your nails sink into his back.
Hyunjin goes still.
Buried to the hilt inside you, his entire body trembling with restraint, every muscle locked tight like he’s trying to keep himself from coming right then and there.
“Fuck,” he breathes, voice wrecked. “You—oh my god—”
His forehead drops to your shoulder. He’s shaking. You feel it. In his arms, in his breath, in the way his cock pulses deep inside you without moving. The kind of overwhelmed that turns to worship. The kind of ruin that feels like coming home.
You tighten around him instinctively—hungry, pulsing—and he lets out a strangled moan against your skin.
“I swear to god,” he whispers, forehead pressing to yours. “If I move, I’m gonna come like a fucking teenager.”
Your nails dig deeper into his back, anchoring him there, as if you could stop time with the press of your fingertips. His cock twitches inside you, thick and throbbing, and it feels like too much and not enough all at once.
Hyunjin groans—low, raw, like the sound is being dragged out of him by force.
“Fuck, baby,” he pants. “You feel… I forgot—fuck, I forgot how perfect you are.”
You whimper, breath caught in your throat. You’re stretched so full it feels like splitting—blissfully unbearable. Like he’s carved to fit you, or maybe you were carved for him.
He doesn’t move. Can’t. His whole body is locked in place, every muscle drawn taut with the kind of restraint that hurts.
“I’m gonna embarrass myself,” he rasps. “You’re so warm, I—I need a second.”
You nod, gasping. “Okay.”
But your body doesn’t care. It’s greedy. Slick clings to your inner thighs, to the base of his cock. You pulse around him again—tight, hot, involuntary—and he shudders, a curse breaking on his lips.
“You’re doing that on purpose,” he whispers, biting your shoulder.
“I’m not,” you breathe, but your hips roll anyway, a tiny grind up into his stillness.
Hyunjin moans—loud, broken. “Baby, I’m serious. You do that again and I’ll fucking—”
You clench again, on purpose this time.
He snaps.
In one hard thrust, he pulls out halfway and slams back in. You cry out—sharp, wanton—as your body folds around his. The stretch. The impact. The sound of skin on skin.
“Oh my god,” you gasp, your head tipping back, throat exposed.
Hyunjin watches the way your mouth parts, how your breasts bounce with every desperate snap of his hips. He groans then drops his mouth to your chest, sucking a bruise over your heart.
“This mine?” he pants, dragging his cock out slow before plunging back in. “Still mine?”
You can’t speak. Can only nod, breath caught in your throat. He fucks you through the motion, slow and deep now, the grind of his cock so obscene you swear you can feel him everywhere—behind your knees, in your throat, echoing in every part of you that remembers how he used to love you.
“No, baby,” he murmurs, voice fraying, fingers sliding under your knee to push your thigh back, opening you wider. “Say it. Let me hear you say it.”
“It’s—” Your voice breaks on a moan when he thrusts deep again, dragging against that spot that makes your vision go white at the edges. “It’s yours, Hyunjin. Always.”
He groans into your chest like the words punched the air out of him. Then he’s fucking you harder, deeper, like he’s trying to anchor himself in the way you take him. The bed creaks, the headboard thuds against the wall, but you don’tHe moans into your chest like the words physically hit him, his thrusts growing messier, more frantic. His hand finds yours and pins it above your head, fingers lacing together tight, grounding him even as he loses himself in the slick, pulsing heat of you.
You’re soaked, ruined, trembling under every thick slide of his cock. He hits so deep it borders on pain, and yet you arch into it—into him—dragging him closer, clawing at his back like if you could just get closer, it might be enough.
“I missed this pussy,” he growls, the words slurred and broken against your throat. “I fucking dreamed about it. Thought about it every night with my cock in my hand—nothing felt as good, nothing—fuck—”
You keen, high-pitched, overwhelmed. Your body pulses around him again, tight as a vice, and it makes him stutter—a half-thrust cut short by the shudder that runs through him.
He kisses you then—desperate, biting, tongue dragging into your mouth like he wants to consume you from the inside out.
You’re moan is swallowed by his mouth when he hits that spot—deep and relentless—and your whole body jolts. Your back arches, your legs tighten around his waist, dragging him deeper.
“Right there?” he growls. “That the spot, baby?”
You nod, frantic, mouth open but no words coming—just breath, just heat, just the sound of him splitting you open again and again.
Hyunjin grins. It's crooked. Crooked and cocky and dizzy with something feral. Like he’s gone. Like you’ve pulled him under with you.
“Yeah,” he breathes, thrusting deeper, slower now, grinding his hips in a filthy circle that makes your eyes roll back. “I remember. Right there. Got you clenching like you’re about to cry.”
His voice breaks on a moan, guttural and reverent. “Fuck, that’s so pretty—so fucking pretty, baby—your face when I fuck you like this.”
He’s unraveling, you can feel it—his rhythm fraying, pace faltering, every thrust a prayer half-remembered. He buries himself deep and stays there, hips pressed flush, cock pulsing inside you like a heartbeat. His forehead falls to yours again, and he’s breathing so hard it shakes both your bodies.
“You gonna cry for me?” he whispers, voice all fray and silk. “Wanna see it, wanna feel you fall apart. I’ll take care of it—I’ll hold you through it, I promise.”
You don’t mean to. But it’s been too much—his mouth, his voice, the stretch of him splitting you open in perfect, deliberate ruin. Your eyes blur, your breath hitches, and before you can stop it—
A tear slips down your cheek.
Hyunjin sees it. And something inside him shatters.
“Oh my god,” he chokes, fingers trembling where they hold your thigh. “That’s it, that’s—fuck—”
He fucks you through it, slow and deep, every stroke angled to keep you on the edge. His free hand cradles your face, thumb brushing the wetness from your cheek. And he’s murmuring now, wrecked and ragged and sweet:
“You’re so good for me. So perfect. I don’t deserve you—I don’t—”
You cry out again, back arching as your orgasm hits—wave after wave of unbearable heat crashing through you. You seize around him, walls fluttering, hips stuttering beneath his weight.
Hyunjin groans like it’s killing him. Like the feel of you falling apart around his cock is undoing him thread by thread.
“Can I—fuck, baby, where do you want it?” he gasps, teeth gritted, body coiled so tight you think he might break apart if you say no.
“Inside,” you breathe, wrecked and shameless. “Want it inside—please.”
That last word shreds him.
He thrusts once—deep, sharp—then again, slower this time, drawn-out like he’s trying to memorize the way you feel. His eyes flutter shut. His mouth falls open. And then he’s coming—hard.
A low, desperate sound tears out of him as his cock jerks inside you, spilling warmth in thick, molten pulses. He buries himself as deep as he can go, arms trembling around you, breath stuttering in your ear. His whole body shakes with it, every muscle straining to stay rooted in you as pleasure rips through him like lightning.
He stays like that—deep inside you, trembling, breathless—until the shudders fade to something softer. Something quieter.
The kind of silence that feels like safety.
His forehead rests against yours, damp hair brushing your temple, and you can feel the weight of him everywhere—his chest pressed to yours, his arms wrapped around your waist, the steady thrum of his heart syncing with your own.
Neither of you speaks.
There’s nothing left to say.
Just breath. Just warmth. Just the slow, wet drag of him slipping out of you when his body finally yields, when your bodies finally remember they’re separate things again. You wince a little, overstimulated, but he’s careful—gentle hands guiding your hips as he settles beside you.
The bed is a mess. You’re a mess. But in his arms, none of it matters.
He pulls you close, one hand curling behind your neck, the other splayed low across your spine. You fit against him like you were made to—legs tangled, faces barely apart. His eyes find yours, dark and soft and unreadable. And then—
He kisses you.
Slow. Tender. Unhurried. Like he’s not trying to restart anything—just thank you, silently, for letting him fall apart in your arms.
Your fingers slip into his hair. His thumb draws circles at the base of your spine.
And in that quiet, breathless space—there is no ache, no past, no noise.
The gallery hums with low conversation and champagne glasses clinking. Golden evening light filters through tall windows, casting Hyunjin’s paintings in soft amber and dust. He stands near one of his larger pieces—stark, aching, all deep reds and pale ivory brushstrokes layered like wounds healed over—speaking to a small crowd of critics and curators, hands moving with slow confidence as he explains his process.
It’s been years since he’s spoken like this—without apology. Years since he let the world see him this raw and unguarded. He’s dressed in black from head to toe, long hair tied back loosely, wedding band glinting when he gestures. He looks settled now, anchored. And you know what it took to get him there.
You weren’t supposed to come.
He’d kissed your forehead this morning, hand warm and reverent on your swollen belly, and told you to rest. “You’ll just get exhausted,” he’d said, brushing your hair back, “and I’ll be distracted the whole time wondering if your ankles are swollen or if the baby’s doing backflips again.”
But now you’re here.
Standing just inside the gallery, framed by the door like something sacred. You wore the dress he loves—the one that drapes gently over the curve of your belly, soft and simple, glowing in the dusk light. One hand rests instinctively at your side, the other slipping under the swell of you. There’s a quiet smile on your lips, half proud, half bashful, and your eyes are locked on him.
Hyunjin doesn’t see you at first. He’s mid-sentence, talking about brush technique and layered memory, about how grief isn't linear, how art can be a body trying to heal. His voice is steady. His hands are sure.
Then he glances up.
And freezes.
You watch it happen in real time—the shift. His mouth stutters around a word, vowels cut short, fingers faltering mid-gesture. And then—god. That smile. Unrehearsed, boyish, wide in a way that crinkles his eyes and ruins all pretense. A pure, delighted thing that belongs only to you.
A few people glance over their shoulders, curious. But Hyunjin barely notices.
He catches himself, coughs once, and somehow fumbles through the last few lines of his explanation. His voice is softer now. Almost sheepish. He wraps up quickly, answering a question with a vague nod, thanking the crowd with a half-bow.
And then he’s moving.
Straight through the gallery, long strides purposeful, eyes never leaving yours.
You open your mouth—maybe to apologize, maybe just to greet him—but he’s already cupping your face in his hands before you can speak. His fingers are cool from holding a champagne flute, but his palms are warm. Familiar. His touch gentle despite how frantically he reaches for you.
“You’re unbelievable,” he says, kissing your forehead. “I told you not to come.” A kiss to your nose. “I specifically said—” another to your cheek, “—that I’d worry—” your chin “—that you’d get tired,” he murmurs against your skin, peppering kisses like punctuation. “That your feet would swell. That you’d—fuck, baby, I said stay home.”
You smile, tilting your head just enough to meet his gaze—warm and full of something playful. “I know, but—”
He kisses you.
Soft and certain, his mouth presses to yours before the words can even leave your lips. It’s instinctive, almost impatient, like he couldn’t bear to hear the excuse when you’re standing right here, glowing and breathless and his. His hand curls at the back of your neck, thumb brushing the line of your jaw. You feel him smile into it, lips warm and reverent, like maybe he’s trying to convince himself he’s not dreaming.
You giggle against his mouth.
It bubbles out before you can stop it—light, easy, surprised by your own happiness.
“Hyunjin,” you laugh, gently pushing at his chest. “Let me speak.”
He leans back only a little, just enough to see you again. There’s a smudge of your lip gloss at the corner of his mouth, and you wipe it with your thumb, grinning.
“You’re ridiculous,” you murmur.
Hyunjin pulls back just enough to look at you—really look. His eyes trace every inch of your face like he’s memorizing you all over again. His thumb sweeps over your cheekbone. “You take my breath away,” he murmurs, like a confession. “Every damn time.”
You want to say something—something light, something teasing—but the way he’s looking at you leaves no room for irony. Just warmth. Just wonder.
And love. So much of it, it floods the space between you.
His hand slips down, resting over the swell of your stomach, and he sighs when he feels the smallest kick beneath his palm. “Little traitor,” he whispers to your bump, grinning. “You two planned this, didn’t you?”
You feign innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Mhm.” He leans in and kisses you again—soft, slow, not quite chaste. Like there’s no one else in the room, no critics still lingering, no gallery full of people pretending not to watch the artist come undone in the arms of his muse.
Eventually, he pulls back—just a little. Just enough to rest his forehead against yours.
“Stay?” he asks, almost shy. “I want to show you something. After everyone leaves.”
You nod.
You nod, and his smile deepens—boyish, brilliant, the kind that still makes your knees weak even now. He kisses you one last time, quick and giddy, before reluctantly pulling away with a soft groan, dragging his hand down your arm like he’s tethering himself to you.
“I’ll be quick,” he promises, squeezing your fingers before turning back toward the crowd. “Don’t go into labor while I’m gone.”
You roll your eyes fondly. “No promises.”
He shoots you a look over his shoulder—mock-scandalized, lips twitching with laughter—and then he’s swept back into the flow of guests, nodding politely, shaking hands, answering a few last questions as people begin to drift toward the exit.
You watch from the side, sipping sparkling water from a plastic flute someone handed you, perched on the edge of a velvet bench like you belong in one of his paintings. A few guests glance your way—some with recognition, some with curiosity—but none of them matter.
You only watch him.
And he watches you too—between conversations, between thank-yous and signatures, his gaze keeps sliding back—like a tether, like gravity, like a vow that’s already been made a hundred times in silence.
You smile around the rim of your glass and press a hand to your belly, where the smallest flicker answers back. A quiet reminder of everything the two of you have built in the quiet spaces between the chaos. In the brushstrokes. In the breathing.
The gallery empties slowly, like a tide pulling away from shore. But you stay, bathed in golden light, watching the man you love exist in a room full of people who will never know him like you do. Who will never see the version of him that wakes up sleep-tousled and soft, who talks to your stomach like it already understands him, who paints love into everything he touches because he’s learned how to survive by making beauty out of ache.
❤︎ 𝒿eongin can’t seem to keep his hands to himself . . .
♪ ﹒﹒ bf!𝒿eongin ﹠ 𝒻!reader . ݁˖ ♡
ⓘ smut, alcohol mentions, cursing, petnames, unprotected sex (nono), creampie, mating press, possessive!jeongin, han cameo ﹒﹒ 🎼 𝓌ritten . 1𝓀
𝓉o 𝓎ou ◞ the long awaited smut draft is finally here ! kinda short & i still don’t like it but i hope you do hehe … ♡ + ⟲ & enjoy!
contrary to popular belief, the so called “shy maknae” is anything but “shy” when it comes to you.
jeongin is well aware of how his members, and most of the world see him. a soft, sweet, cute and reserved persona that he can’t seem to ever escape. it’s a true rarity for him to willingly hold his hands out to another person, preferring to keep to himself. he’s grown accustomed to the touches and flicks, pats on the back and hair ruffles from the boys he knows and loves, but even then, he could still call himself a bit iffy with that sort of contact, pushing it away when he feels like it.
but with you? handsy.
jeongin is actually a greedy, possessive, handsy man. everything he supposedly is “against” goes straight out of the window, a seal he cracked open himself when he met you. yes, he loves to cuddle, to kiss and hold hands witj you in moments, which are in private for the most part. but he also has made you keenly aware that his hands love to claim what’s his.
he starts it off cutely innocent. small brushes against your spine, a smoothly undetectable grip behind your neck that lasts only a second. get him somewhere he feels comfortable, and he’s the definition of hands on.
tonight, it’s only a smallish party. him and the other seven, you, and some close friends in the industry to celebrate yet another win in their largely ever growing career. some music bumps in the background, and your dress sparkles underneath the low lights whenever your shimmery perfume catches them. a half empty martini glass sits to your left, extra olives completely gone, and to your right sits a very happy han jisung with something disgustingly fruity in his cup. where’d he get the good stuff?
and behind you is jeongin. your dressed up, sober boyfriend who’s silently laughing at how you considered a martini to be a snack instead of a drink.
“baby, you could’ve just ordered something. they have food.” he says with a soft touch to your side, grazing a finger over the folds of fabric by your hip.
“a martini is food, maknae... olives. duh.”
han jumps in the conversation with a jumbled “olives are nasty”, but you’re too busy focusing on jeongin to spit a witty response back.
because jeongin won’t stop touching you.
he’s muttering soft conversation, with some words exchanged between him and his supposed hyung, who acts younger when drunkened, and his actual older members who gather in the vicinity at empty stools and seats. most wouldn’t even take a second glance at jeongins mannerisms. but you do.
he gets experimental with his fingertips, one just barely slipping under the fabric he was just touching, retreating shortly afterward only to get bolder with every second. his hand glides up, then back, then down until he lands a soft pat to the plush of your bottom.
“no, hyung. i’m driving her home, so i’m not drinking.” he says. you hear someone, maybe minho, say something about having good responsibility. little does he know jeongin is nowhere near responsible with the lewd mind he carries, and with the way he’s practically groping you in front of his friends.
now he’s rubbing his hands up and down your arms, soft and slow with the sweetest kiss to the side of your neck, but you can feel the devilish intent hidden in his lips.
you’re getting hot and bothered now. you’re past the point of it being just the alcohol, that reasoning considered hysterical by this time. your face is turning flushed and rosy, and you use your manicured hands to cover it as much as possible. jisung would never let you hear the end of it.
“i like this dress on you..” is a honeyed compliment that slips from jeongins mouth next, his touch softening with that same hold he’s had on your hips.
“i think the bartender does too.”
and as quick to come to a revelation as you usually are, you finally see why jeongin has had his grasp on you the entire night. the way the rest of this party will go is already mapped out right in front of you.
jeongin can be handsy for some reasons. because he wants to have you close, because he missed you, because he’s feeling soft and needy. or, because he’s jealous.
“baby, let’s go home, okay?” jeongin feigns an innocent voice in case the rest of the boys hear him, but he leans down for only you to listen next.
“im the one who knows how that dress looks when it’s off, anyway.”
⸝⸝⸝
which now leads you to here, in your shared apartment, with jeongin pressed so closely against you that you can feel his rapid heartbeat against your own.
he’s all over you, all inside you, with every bit of skin you have being touched, caressed, and exposed eagerly as he pulls your dress off like he promised back at the party.
“why’re you so soft— huh? tell me baby..” he asks, feeling you up with graspy palms that don’t ever stop.
you can’t answer because he’s fucking the voice right out of you.
slow, deep thrusts that have unspoken words of possession and power behind them, your hands bound by your head in one of his.
“i—i don’t kno—jeong…” is all you can muster. you can feel him deep, feel his ragged breathing against your ear, and feel his hands touching you in places that really are only meant to be private.
“speak up, pretty. i can’t hear you o-over that whining.” but you can definitely hear him. he’s losing himself, clear as day, and you’re not far behind.
jeongin moves so his palms cup the back of your knees, pushing slightly down into a press that has you seeing stars on your dark ceiling. “fuck ! jeong—in!”
“you’re mine, aren’t you baby? cum on me so i know it.”
and fuck, you could forget about his hands when he has a mouth like that and a stroke so deep.
you finish soon after with a taught coil that snaps all over him, grasping at the sheets in an attempt to bring yourself back to earth. he follows behind, sounding with a low grumbly whine and hot stickiness that fills you up and drips out of the sides.
“so pretty… feel so good… i love you… so good…” he’s mumbling to himself, coming down to lay on you without his full weight that could crush, breathing hot onto your cheek where he plants a kiss not long afterward.
yes, he knows where to touch to get you going, what to grab when he has you. but he also knows where to hold you when you’re finished.
cleaning you up softly, taking a bubble filled bath, and keeping you close with a little thank you when you’re back in bed. all the while, his hands haven’t left you once, lingering on your skin with his fingertips that draw patterns to soften his previous actions.
“you must really love me. you’re like… a tic.” you joke quietly, smiling to yourself in the dark thinking he can’t see you.
jeongin laughs a breath through his nose that tickles the back of your neck.
You're dating a member of Stray Kids in this Choose Your Own Adventure -- join him on their Europe tour with your best friend and see what chaos happens!
Stray Kids member of your choice x Fem!Reader
Choose Your Own Adventure
🔗 READ/PLAY HERE
🎮interactive fanfic "my famous boyfriend" by nisorae
📖 Episode 1 of ?
the room is dim, lit only by the soft amber of the desk lamp and the dull blue glow from two computer screens, their pixels dancing in sound waves. the speakers hum low, a heartbeat of synths and snare, looping a melody that hasn’t been named yet. it’s slow. dreamy. a little unfinished, just like the two of you.
the air smells faintly like fabric softener and coffee from hours ago, now cold in the cup beside his keyboard. you’re curled up on the studio couch, legs tucked beneath you, wearing one of chan’s crewnecks that swallows your hands. the cotton is worn soft from too many washes, oversized and comforting, and it still holds the ghost of his cologne; cedar, musk, the kind of scent that lingers long after he leaves a room.
he’s quiet.
not in the brooding way, not in the overthinking every damn note kind of way either. just.. quiet. his fingers tap lightly against the desk as he listens to the loop again and again. his chair is tilted back just enough to see you in his periphery, and you know, because he’s been stealing glances between each pass.
you pretend not to notice.
instead, you let your fingers trace invisible patterns into your thigh, resting your cheek on your hand as you watch him from under your lashes. the way his black hoodie bunches at the elbows. the curve of his jaw when he’s focused. his mouth, slightly parted. the tip of his tongue resting in the corner, a habit. the faintest scruff on his chin from a day he forgot to shave. or didn’t care to.
you sigh, almost smiling. “you’re squinting again.”
chan’s head tilts. “huh?”
you point lazily at him. “your eyes. when you concentrate. you look like a suspicious grandpa decoding secret messages in morse code.”
a laugh bubbles out of him, short, breathy, surprised. “wow. thanks.”
“you’re welcome,” you say, smug, leaning into the armrest. “you should really consider reading glasses.”
he narrows his eyes at you on purpose now, making a dramatic point. “i will literally end this song right now.”
“you won’t.”
“no, but i’ll pretend i did and pout about it for forty-five minutes.”
“pouting’s a great look on you,” you hum.
you expect him to roll his eyes. maybe throw a crumpled napkin at you. but instead, he just leans back in his chair, legs stretched out, arms folded across his chest, and looks at you.
fully.
the studio is quiet except for the looped track. and chan’s gaze? it softens. like the way light filters through curtains. gentle, warm, and far too much.
“what?” you whisper, feeling your face heat.
he shrugs, lips twitching into a small, sleepy smile. “nothing. you’re just really pretty when you’re bullying me.”
you squint back at him. “you’re not even trying to win this argument.”
“that’s ‘cause i like losing to you.”
your heart stumbles. you mask it by pretending to cough into your sleeve. he sees right through it. smirks wider. turns back to the screen like he didn’t just ruin your entire nervous system.
“asshole,” you mumble.
“mmhm.”
he slides his headphones on again, adjusts a few sliders, then clicks the spacebar. the track starts over. he listens. edits. rewinds. rests his chin on his palm.
you let yourself stare a little longer this time.
there’s something about watching chan work that feels like worship. he’s quiet with it, not boastful, not performative. just intensely focused, endlessly curious. you can see him thinking; layers of intention behind every adjustment, like he’s shaping sound into something that can hold meaning.
you never feel more drawn to him than in moments like this.
“c’mere,” he says suddenly, pulling one side of his headphones off.
you blink. “why?”
“just for a second.”
you raise an eyebrow. “this is how you trap me.”
“yup.” he doesn’t even deny it.
still, you rise, stretching your arms over your head with a small yawn, then pad over to his chair. he grabs your wrist lightly and tugs you down, guiding you gently into his lap like he’s done this a hundred times before. like your body fits there. like it’s second nature.
his arms wrap around your waist automatically.
you settle back against his chest, your head resting beneath his chin, your legs slotted between his. the sound from the speakers is low now; background music to the quiet closeness you’ve both fallen into.
“this part’s new,” he murmurs near your ear, hitting play again. “i wrote it thinking of you.”
you freeze just a little. then slowly glance up at him.
he’s looking at the screen like he didn’t just casually say that.
“…chan.”
“mhm?”
“you wrote the chorus with me in mind?”
“pre-chorus, actually,” he says, lips twitching. “the chorus is about ramen. but the pre-chorus? that one’s you.”
you lightly smack his chest, laughing. “you suck.”
“do not.”
“you literally labeled the file ‘yn_ver2_emotionsfix.wav,’” you accuse, voice barely hiding your grin.
chan gives a dramatic sigh. “it was either that or track_56_final_final_real_final_edit.wav. i went with art.”
you shake your head, settling into him again. he smells like warmth, like cotton, and hours of focus, and something softer beneath it all. his hands splay against your hips. secure. careful.
you close your eyes.
“you tired?” he asks quietly.
you nod against him. “but i don’t want to sleep yet.”
“why?”
“‘cause you’re not done loving me tonight.”
that catches him off guard. you feel it in the pause of his breath.
then, arms tighter around you. his chin tucks into your shoulder, and his voice is low. honest.
“i don’t think i’ll ever be done, y/n.”
the song loops again. a soft echo in the dark.
and neither of you move.
“something like home.”
(12:59 am. still just the two of you.)
your feet are bare.
there’s a stray thread at the hem of your sleeve, and chan’s fingers have been absentmindedly twirling it between his thumb and forefinger for minutes now. the song plays in soft loops, fading into the walls like wallpaper music. you’ve stopped noticing it. or maybe it’s become a part of this moment.
you’re still in his lap, curled into his chest like the world forgot to pull you apart. he doesn’t seem to mind. his chin rests on your shoulder, and his hands are warm on your sides. his thumb strokes lazy, back-and-forth shapes over the fabric, like a lullaby with no melody.
you yawn. then mumble something.
“what?” he whispers.
“i said, i think i’m starting to melt.”
he chuckles, the sound low against your back. “melt?”
“mhm.” you nudge your nose into his hoodie. “i’m too comfortable. i might dissolve. evaporate. just, become one with the hoodie.”
chan hums, tilting his head to press a small kiss into your hair. “then i’ll carry you in my pocket.”
you pause, smiling into his chest. “you’re such a sap.”
“you love it.”
you twist just enough to look at him. “you say that like you’re not the clingy one.”
“i’m not clingy,” he says, indignant. “i just like you close.”
you raise an eyebrow.
he holds up a finger, serious. “okay, hear me out. i didn’t ask you to stay over because i’m clingy. i asked because—”
“you missed me,” you cut in, sing-song.
he scoffs. “no—well, yes—but—listen. i knew you’d be annoying about it. that’s the real reason.”
“wow. you invited me over just to be bullied?”
“you’re better than caffeine.”
you blink.
he grins, smug. “and cuter.”
your chest does that thing again, that quiet, involuntary ache. like your ribs are expanding too fast for your heart to keep up.
you try to hide your face in his hoodie. “stop it.”
“no,” he says softly. “not when you look at me like that.”
you glance up. “like what?”
“like i’m the whole night sky.”
there’s a beat. long enough for your throat to close around it.
you laugh, a soft, shaky breath. “that was corny.”
he kisses your temple. “did it work?”
you don’t answer. you don’t need to. the way your fingers curl into his sleeve is loud enough.
you eventually slip off his lap, legs stiff, your body slow with sleepiness. but you don’t go far. just settle beside him again, letting your head fall onto his shoulder.
chan shifts, pulls the blanket from the couch, and drapes it over your legs without a word. then he leans forward and clicks a few keys. the track pauses.
“what happened?” you ask, voice small.
he shrugs, adjusting the volume. “nothing. just wanted to sit here.”
you smile. “is the genius producer taking a break?”
“genius producer,” he echoes, a grin playing at his lips. “i like how that sounds.”
“it’s true,” you say, poking his cheek. “you’re brilliant. even when you forget to eat dinner.”
“someone’s trying to soften me up,” he teases.
you lean closer, your voice a playful whisper. “is it working?”
he turns his face toward you, slow, like the moment stretches around the movement. his eyes flicker between yours, soft and unreadable.
“yeah,” he says quietly. “too well.”
you don’t kiss him yet.
but the space between your faces is small enough to feel the promise of it.
“can i tell you something weird?” he asks a little while later.
you nod, half-drowsy, eyes fluttering shut.
“i think,” he hesitates, then laughs under his breath. “god, this sounds stupid.”
you look up at him. “nothing you say to me is stupid.”
he’s quiet for a beat. then-
“i think my heart memorized you before my brain did.”
it’s barely a whisper.
but it slices through the quiet, delicate and sure. your breath catches.
“i don’t even mean that in a romantic movie kind of way,” he adds, rubbing the back of his neck. “just, every time i see you, even if i’m tired, even if the day sucked, something in me just—relaxes. like it knows. like you’re what it was waiting for.”
you don’t respond with words.
you just reach out, touch his face gently, like he’s something precious. your thumb runs along his cheekbone. then down to his lips.
chan closes his eyes under the touch.
“you always say these things like you don’t realize what they do to me,” you murmur.
he opens them again. they’re deeper now. fuller with something unspoken. “what do they do?”
“you make it really hard to breathe.”
“then hold on to me,” he whispers.
so you do.
“in the quiet, i love you”
(1:17 am. again, just the two of you.)
it’s late. but that kind of late where the world feels paused.
no ringing phones. no outside noise. just the low hum of equipment, a single dim lamp in the corner, and chan’s hand resting over yours like he’s scared the moment will slip away if he lets go.
your head is against his shoulder again. his hoodie sleeve is bunched between your fingers, and you’ve long since stopped trying to pretend you’re not holding on like he’s your anchor.
“wanna know something?” you say softly, tracing small shapes into his palm.
“always.”
“i used to think love would feel loud.”
he doesn’t speak. just waits.
you smile at the ceiling. “like fireworks. or movie kisses in the rain. or fighting, dramatic, over-the-top things. but this—”
your hand squeezes his.
“this feels like.. the space between notes in a song. quiet. but there. and if it were gone, you’d hear the difference.”
chan swallows, his voice a hush. “you’re gonna make me cry in my own studio.”
you giggle, turning toward him, noses almost brushing. “no tears allowed. you’re the genius producer.”
he fake sobs dramatically. “the genius producer is in shambles.”
you cover his mouth with your hand, laughing now. “stop. you’re gonna ruin the mood.”
he grins under your palm. then kisses it. soft. warm. so soft it makes your throat catch.
“wanna hear a line i wrote today?” he asks, voice lower now, fingers lacing between yours.
you nod.
he glances at the monitor like he’s nervous, then looks back at you. “it’s not for the track, just a thing i wrote.”
he clears his throat.
“if i could fold myself into your pockets
i’d live there quietly, beside your pulse
where your heartbeat becomes my soundtrack
and time forgets how to hurt.”
your eyes sting.
“chris.”
“it’s dumb,” he says quickly, eyes darting away. “just a line. you don’t have to—”
you cut him off with a kiss.
it’s soft.
barely there.
just the press of lips against lips, the kind of kiss that says, i understand you even when you think you don’t make sense.
when you pull back, you’re both blinking too much.
“was that okay?” you whisper.
his voice cracks when he speaks. “i don’t think i’ll ever forget it.”
the next hour passes in fragments.
you try on his headphones and gasp when you hear how clear the track sounds.
he records you saying random phrases to sample your voice, half of them silly, the other half secretly tender.
“say something sexy,” he grins, mic already on.
you squint at him. “like what?”
“i don’t know. just say whatever comes to your mind.”
you lean in close to the mic, lips parted. “christopher, i swear to god, if you don’t drink water within the next ten minutes i’m turning off your computer.”
he throws his head back, laughing so hard it shakes his shoulders.
“you menace,” he wheezes.
“you asked for it.”
“not the hydration threats—oh my god.”
you’re both giggling too much to care what time it is. he turns the mic off, pulls you back to him, and presses his forehead to yours like it’s instinct.
“hey,” he whispers.
“yeah?”
“i don’t think i’ve ever felt like this before.”
you meet his eyes.
“i think…” he pauses. “i think i trust you with parts of me i didn’t even know i had.”
you nod, tears threatening again.
“you can keep them,” you whisper back.
later, he reaches over and grabs his phone, unlocking it with one hand, still holding you with the other.
“what are you doing?” you murmur, sleepy now, blinking slowly.
“i want a picture.”
“no,” you groan. “my face is puffy. i’m tired.”
“you’re beautiful,” he says immediately, no hesitation.
you glare. “you can’t say things like that so easily.”
“but they’re true.”
“still.”
he snaps one anyway. your face buried in his hoodie, his hand covering half your cheek, both of you in soft shadows. when he looks at it, he smiles like he’s looking at the beginning of something.
“can i post it someday?” he asks gently. “not now. but when it’s not just ours anymore.”
you nod.
but neither of you say when that might be.
because for now, the secrecy is sacred. the studio is a sanctuary. and this; this hush, this touch, this late night wonder, belongs to you both.
right?
“we talk about everything, and nothing, and it all matters.”
(01:58 am. the world is asleep, but you’re still here.)
you’re half on the couch, half on chris. the blanket has migrated around both your shoulders now, pooled at your waists like it’s tucking you in on behalf of the moon.
the studio lights are dim. the glow from the monitors is faint and flickering. the music is paused.
you aren’t.
chan’s fingers are threaded through yours again, resting on your stomach, your hands fitting like they’ve known each other longer than you’ve been alive. his head is tilted back. yours is on his chest, listening.
every so often, his heartbeat skips.
you never point it out.
“do you think,” he says suddenly, voice hushed like he’s afraid to wake the air, “that people always end up where they’re meant to be?”
you pause. “you mean, like fate?”
he nods, slowly. “yeah. or something like it.”
you think for a second.
“i don’t know. i think maybe we end up in the neighborhood of where we’re meant to be,” you say softly. “but the exact house? the one with the red door, or the one with the leaky ceiling? i think we choose those.”
he hums. “i like that.”
“why’d you ask?”
he’s quiet for a moment. “i just keep thinking.. if i hadn’t chosen this path; music, the hours, the pressure, i don’t know if we’d be here. but sometimes i wonder, if it’s too much. if i’ll burn out.”
you lift your head slightly to look at him.
his gaze is on the ceiling. like he’s asking the stars above the insulation to answer for him.
“i think about it too,” you admit.
his eyes flick down to you. “you do?”
you nod. “not just about you. about me. about everything. what i want. what i’m allowed to want.”
the way you say allowed makes him tense just slightly, but you don’t dwell.
you rest your cheek back on his chest.
his hand finds your shoulder, slow and soothing.
“tell me,” he says gently.
you take a breath.
“i used to think i had to be perfect,” you say, voice low. “or at least harmless. make everything easy for everyone. be sweet. be smart. never ask for too much. never make things complicated.”
chan’s hold on you tightens almost imperceptibly.
you keep going.
“but i’m learning that love, real love, lets you take up space. even the messy parts. even the loud parts. i’m still trying to believe i’m allowed to ask for things. to say ‘i want this.’ even when it’s scary.”
he’s silent, but you can feel the emotion rising in him. his fingers brush your hair back from your temple with a kind of reverence.
“i’m glad you said that,” he whispers. “because i want you to ask. always. for anything.”
you nod, eyes stinging again.
after a pause, you murmur, “what about you?”
he exhales. “i think.. i used to believe i had to earn love. like, i had to constantly do something to deserve it. be productive. be valuable. make music. fix things. be strong.”
you shift slightly to see his face. his eyes are unfocused, turned somewhere inward.
“but lately..” he goes on, “with you, i’m starting to believe that maybe i don’t have to prove anything. that maybe i can just be. and that’s enough.”
you press your lips to his jaw, a soft silent thank you for letting you see that part of him.
you stay like that for a while.
just breathing.
just existing.
“i want to grow old with you,” he says suddenly.
you blink.
“like, not in a cliché way. not just the cute stuff. i mean i want to still know you when we’re tired and wrinkly and grumpy and our backs hurt when we laugh too hard.”
you smile against his hoodie.
“i want that too.”
he looks down at you. “you do?”
you lift your chin just enough to meet his gaze. “i want to see what kind of old man you become. i bet you’ll still wear these black hoodies and cry when the guys bully you for actually being old.”
he groans. “don’t expose me.”
you giggle, tucking back into his chest. “you’re adorable.”
you both fall into a comfortable silence again. the kind where the silence isn’t empty, it’s full. of safety. of things you don’t have to say.
and then…
“hey,” you whisper.
“yeah?”
“if we ever get a dog, can we name it something stupid like toast?”
he snorts, nearly choking. “why toast?”
“i don’t know, it’s cute. imagine yelling ‘toast! come back here!’ in the park. it even matches with berry. like.. berry toast.”
he’s laughing now, full and quiet and real. “okay. so berry can bond with a new sibling then. over names. well.. toast it is. but only if i get to name the next one pancake.”
“deal.”
eventually, you both go quiet again.
there’s a weight to the room now, but not heavy. just full. like the whole place is holding its breath around you, content to let you exist in each other.
you listen to his breathing. he listens to yours.
you both listen to the invisible thing being written between your hearts, soft and slow and definitely.. real.
“the song you weren’t supposed to hear.”
(it’s still the middle of the night. and his heart is ready.)
the night has settled into the kind of stillness that only exists between 2 and 3 am, where the world outside is paused, like it’s holding its breath just for you.
you’re both now completely on the studio couch, your legs lazily tangled over his, the blanket from earlier now messily draped across your laps. the air smells faintly like jasmine from his candle stash and whatever conditioner he uses that clings to the collar of his hoodie. you’ve been tracing little nothing shapes on his arm, neither of you talking for a while, not because there’s nothing to say, but because being this close is already saying enough.
chan’s fingers have been fidgeting. not nervously, just… thinking. tapping little beats into the fabric of the couch like he’s composing something in his head he doesn’t want to forget.
you’re the first to break the silence.
“your brain’s loud again,” you murmur, smiling without opening your eyes.
he huffs out a quiet laugh. “always is, when you’re around.”
you lift your head, eyebrow raised. “is that a compliment or are you blaming me for your overworked neurons?”
chan grins. “little bit of both.”
you roll your eyes affectionately and nudge his shoulder. he watches you for a moment; eyes soft, dimple barely showing, and then he shifts. gently untangles himself from you and gets up, barefoot steps soundless on the floor.
you sit up slowly, watching as he walks over to the computer, clicking something open with a hesitance that’s uncharacteristic of him.
he hesitates a second longer, one hand on the mouse, the other in his curly hair.
“can i show you something?” he asks, voice low, unusually careful.
you straighten. “of course.”
he doesn’t look at you when he speaks next. “i wasn’t gonna. i wasn’t ever going to, honestly. but i feel like.. if i don’t now, i’ll never get the courage again.”
your heart stirs, soft, curious.
he opens a folder.
one you’ve never seen.
the name of it is just a single word: “maybe”
he clicks on a file. the project loads slowly. your eyes flick over the screen. it’s dated from almost two years ago.
the first out of a gazillion track’s name?
“she’ll never know (demo)”
he doesn’t look at you. just presses play.
the room fills with the sound of chan’s voice. not the polished, practiced version. not the stage ready delivery.
this is raw.
the acoustic guitar is gentle, almost sleepy. like the song was written late one night, maybe one just like this, with him hunched over his desk and the words falling out of him before he could stop them.
and then, the first line.
“she walks in like the sky turned soft just for her,”
“doesn’t notice the way she makes silence feel warm.”
your breath catches.
your boyfriend doesn’t turn around. he’s sitting at his chair now, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor as if it held answers to his shower thoughts.
the song continues, delicate, bare boned. there’s a melody that rises like a question and falls like an answer. his voice cracks a little in the second verse. not from poor singing. from too much truth.
“she calls my name like it was made for her mouth—and i swear, i’d give her every version of me she asks for.”
you bring your hand to your chest without realizing it.
your throat is dry. your eyes aren’t.
and then, the bridge.
it’s not perfect. the production cuts slightly. but the lyrics?
“if she knew i wrote her into every song i couldn’t finish,would she stay long enough to hear the chorus?”
you don’t breathe.
he lets the track end without speaking. the silence that follows is thick and tender.
and finally, finally, he turns to look at you.
you’re still holding your hand to your chest. you can’t find words.
“i wrote that before,” he says, quietly, “before i knew if you’d ever look at me like that. before i thought i’d get to call you mine. i wasn’t gonna play it. felt like, it was too much.”
you shake your head, eyes glassy, voice cracking. “no, chris. it’s not too much. it’s, god. it’s beautiful, channie.”
you cross the room slowly and kneel beside his chair, hands reaching for his. “you loved me then, didn’t you?”
he nods. “i think i always did.”
the air feels like it might break from the softness.
you press your forehead to his. close your eyes. he does the same. his hands slide around your back, pulling you into him like he needs to feel you breathing.
“can i ask you something?” you whisper.
“anything.”
“when you wrote it.. did you ever think i’d hear it?”
his voice is almost inaudible. “no. but i wanted you to feel it. even if you never knew.”
you kiss him. not rushed. not fiery. just full. full of every quiet word you’ve ever shared, every moment your bodies spoke before your mouths did. full of everything that’s always been there.
when you pull back, you whispered.
“thank you for writing me into your world.”
he smiles, presses his lips to your hair.
“you are my world.”
“you and me, in a song.”
(almost 3am. but none of you seem to care.. because it’s just you two.)
your knees are folded up on the studio couch now, hoodie sleeves past your hands, hair a little messy from where he’d had his fingers in it. chan’s laptop is dimming from inactivity. that song, the one he never meant to play for anyone, is still echoing in your chest.
there’s something quiet between you two now, but it’s not tension. it’s the kind of silence that follows honesty. like the air has finally settled after a truth landed and made its home here.
he’s lying on the floor now, one arm tucked behind his head, the other outstretched, hand palm up like he’s waiting for you to hold it. you do. of course you do.
“you’re still thinking too much,” you say, squeezing his fingers gently.
he gives a tired smile, turning his head toward you. “i know, baby. i can’t help it. my brain doesn’t have an off switch, y'know.”
you glance down at him, at the boy you love who writes heartbreak into bridges and hides confessions in chord progressions.
“wanna distract it?” you ask softly.
he raises an eyebrow. “you got something in mind?”
“let’s write something,” you say, voice picking up in excitement. “together. something stupid and sweet. corny. cheesy. but something that sounds like us.”
he sits up, instantly intrigued. his eyes are sleepy but alive now, warm like melted chocolate in low light. “you sure you’re not tired?”
“i’m very tired,” you say, already reaching for a notebook, “but i’m also in love, and this feels like something we’ll remember.”
he exhales a quiet laugh. “okay,” he murmurs. “let’s make it ours.”
the guitar is perched on his knee now, and you’re tucked beside him, the notebook resting across both your legs. you can barely see the lines under the yellowish desk lamp glow, but that somehow makes it feel even more intimate.
“okay,” he says, strumming a slow, dreamy chord. “tone check. what are we going for?”
“something soft,” you say. “not too polished. something that sounds like, like a sleepy love letter or something?”
he nods, repeating the chord progression, slower this time. “mmm.. like this?”
you hum in approval. “wait, yeah. genius! that feels like us. okay, first line.”
he laughs at the page. “you go.”
you pause, chewing your lip. then, with a grin..
“you looked like a dream at 3 am,
with sleep in your eyes and my name on your lips.”
your boyfriend’s pen freezes.
he blinks.
then he gives you the kind of look that belongs in poems, stunned, a little helpless, a lot in love.
“that’s not fair,” he mutters, writing it down. “you’re gonna make me fall harder than i already have.”
you smirk. “your turn, loverboy.”
he strums a chord and speaks more than sings.
“you whispered forever in the way you laughed,
and i started believing it might be real.”
your heart flutters.
you grab the pen and underline that line twice. “you’re disgusting,” you whisper with a grin.
“i learned from the best,” he grins back.
you spend the next hour like that, passing the pen, trading verses, scribbling out and rewriting lines until your fingers are smudged with graphite and the paper is creased from how many times you’ve folded it to your chest in giddy disbelief.
at some point, chan turns the mic on. just to catch what you’re doing. just in case.
he doesn’t warn you when he starts singing.
you’re halfway through doodling stars and hearts in the corner of the page when his voice fills the air again, soft and sleepy and devastatingly sweet.
he sings the first verse.
your verse.
you look up at him, startled.
his eyes are on you, and he doesn’t look away when he reaches your line:
“…with sleep in your eyes and my name on your lips.”
you smile, caught.
when he finishes the chorus, messy and still incomplete, you exhale slowly. “you made it sound beautiful.”
chan shrugs, pretending to be casual. “t'was already beautiful. i just put a melody on it.”
you reach for his hand again. he lets you take it, always lets you take it.
“is this the first song you’ve written with someone you’re in love with?” you ask quietly.
he pauses.
then smiles, shy and soft. “yeah. and i hope it’s the only one.”
you press your forehead to his shoulder.
“i think we just made a cheesy memory,” you whisper.
he turns slightly to kiss the top of your head. “then let’s keep making them. cheesy and all.”
the clock reads 4:12 am now.
the first version of the song is saved in a folder called “us.”
it’s not finished. it might never be. but it doesn’t need to be perfect. it just needs to be yours.
you curl into the corner of the couch again, eyes fluttering shut- not to sleep, but maybe to rest them. chan hums the chorus under his breath beside you, fingers mindlessly playing the chords like he’s serenading the night itself.
before you drift off, you mumble one last thing:
“you’re my favorite song, chris.”
and he whispers back. he always does.
“you’re my reason for every one of them.”
“the part i never said out loud.”
(a still hour. 4:41 am. the quiet isn’t peaceful anymore, it’s holding its breath.)
he doesn’t notice it at first. the way you’ve gone quiet. maybe you were asleep.
but it was not like before. not sleepily. not wrapped in awe from a new lyric or his voice in your ear. this silence is different. it’s sitting heavy on your chest. and he only realizes when he reaches out to run his thumb gently over your knuckles and you flinch, barely, but enough for him to notice.
he turns to you slowly.
“hey,” he says softly. “hun, you okay?”
you blink at him. you were looking at the studio wall, at the sound panels, the gold record in the frame, the corner where your folded lyric sheet sits untouched. you weren’t really seeing any of it.
“yeah,” you say. but your voice betrays you. too thin. too quiet.
he sets down the guitar and shifts closer. his brows furrow, but not in frustration. it’s concern. that same warm, earnest gaze he’s always given you.
“you can tell me anything,” he says. “you know that, right?”
you nod. and then you nod again. because it’s true. you know it’s true. you believe him with your whole heart.
that’s exactly why it’s so hard.
“i didn’t want to ruin tonight,” you whisper, “but i.. i think i’ve been avoiding saying something.”
he doesn’t rush you. doesn’t press. just waits. lets the silence expand around you until you’re ready.
you take a breath. and then another.
“it’s my family,” you say finally. “they don’t.. they don’t like that i’m with you.”
chan’s head tips slightly, like he didn’t hear right. “what?”
you wince.
“they think it’s unstable. unrealistic. that.. that i shouldn’t be dating someone in the industry. that i’m just a phase to you. or that it’ll always be longdistance and lonely and that i’ll be the one waiting while you live a life i can’t be part of.”
you can’t look at him.
“they think loving you is.. irresponsible,” you say, voice cracking.
for a moment, there’s nothing but the soft buzz of equipment around you. the hum of the silent studio. the absence of sound.
and then his voice. low. steady.
“do you think that?” he asks, gentle but serious.
your eyes snap to him.
“no,” you say immediately, like it physically hurts to even have him wonder that. “no, god, never. i love you. i love you more than i even know how to explain. i just—”
you break off, pressing your palm to your forehead.
“i hate that i feel like i’m betraying them just by choosing my own heart.”
he doesn’t interrupt. he doesn’t get defensive. he doesn’t ask for promises or ask you to pick sides. he just reaches out and cups your face in his hand, thumb resting softly against your cheekbone.
“you’re not betraying anyone by being honest about what you want,” he says. “and if that’s not me, i’ll understand.”
you finally cry.
not hard. not dramatic. but silent tears spill, and you don’t even try to stop them.
“but it is you,” you whisper. “it’s always been you. that’s the whole problem.”
chan pulls you into him then, holds you so close it feels like maybe you can hide there for a while. maybe forever.
his chin rests on top of your head as your hands grip the fabric of his hoodie. you can feel his heart against your cheek.
“then we’ll figure it out,” he murmurs. “whatever it takes. i don’t care what the world says. you’re my home.”
your breath stutters.
“i don’t want to lose you,” you say.
“you won’t,” he replies, like it’s fact. “even if the world ends. even if i’m across the globe and you’re under a hundred rules, i will still be yours.”
you don’t realize how hard you’re clinging until his arms tighten in response.
“i’m so scared, channie,” you whisper.
“i know, baby. i know.”
and then, quieter.
“but i’m not scared. not if i’ve got you.”
somewhere between the crying and the quiet, you fall asleep against him.
your dreams are a blur of chords and warmth, of light through a studio window that doesn’t exist. you dream of melodies that sound like safety.
and even though the world outside might never fully understand it; might never fully approve, you wake up knowing.. this.
your heart knows where it belongs.
and it’s right here, in the quiet thrum of a boy who wrote your name into every note before he ever said it out loud.
“no matter the ending, it’s you.”
(the sky is beginning to lighten, barely. that liminal hour between night and morning. somewhere between dream and day, where truth feels soft enough to hold.)
you wake up first.
chan’s head is tilted toward you on the couch, cheek pillowed in the mess of your hair. he’s asleep, properly this time, breath slow, mouth just barely parted, hoodie slightly askew around his collarbone where you clung to him in your sleep.
the studio is still quiet. the monitors are off now, the soft blue light from the mixing board the only thing illuminating the room. your bodies are half covered by the denim blanket he keeps for emergencies, the air conditioner humming gently in the background.
and your heart, somehow, is steady.
not because the fear is gone. not because the world has changed overnight. but because you’re still here.
and so is he.
you lift your hand and gently brush a strand of hair from his forehead. his lashes flutter. then, without opening his eyes, he whispers, still half-asleep:
“are you leaving me?”
you smile, sad and sweet, your thumb tracing the shell of his ear.
“never,” you say softly. “even if i have to pretend in front of everyone else. even if i have to keep you a secret just a little longer. i’m not leaving you.”
his brows twitch, a quiet expression of protest even in sleep.
“you shouldn’t have to pretend,” he murmurs. “you deserve to be loved out loud.”
you press your forehead against his.
“i am loved out loud,” you reply. “by you.”
that makes him stir. he opens his eyes now, sleepy and glassy and gold in the low light.
“you’re sure?” he says.
you nod, then softly: “i’ve never been more sure of anything.”
he sits up slightly, blinking, hair a ruffled halo.
“you don’t have to protect me from your world, y/n,” he says, voice gravelly. “i’m strong. i’ll stand there with you. whatever people say. whatever your family thinks. i’ll wait however long you need. i’ll earn every inch of your life.”
your throat tightens.
“i don’t want you to wait,” you say. “i want you in it. not waiting at the edges. just… just give me time to show them. that it’s you. that it was always you.”
he leans forward and presses the softest kiss to your temple.
then, he says the same thing he whispered into your hair the first night you ever stayed this long in the studio, months ago, when he was shy to admit how badly he wanted you to stay:
“i’ve got all the time in the world.”
you let out a breath. a small one. a real one. and for the first time in days, the ache in your chest eases.
you end up sitting side by side on the studio floor with mugs of tea he brewed on the tiny electric kettle under his desk. you drink in silence for a few moments, legs pressed together, heads leaning against the wall.
then you speak, softly, barely louder than the hum of the outside wind through the sealed windows.
“do you think this lasts?”
he doesn’t ask what “this” means.
he just looks at you. and smiles.
“i don’t think love ends,” he says. “not the real kind.”
you swallow, slow.
“even if it changes?”
“it might change,” he nods. “it might grow, or shrink, or stretch itself around the seasons of our lives. but it doesn’t disappear. and mine for you, isn’t going anywhere.”
you close your eyes.
“i want forever,” you say, and you mean it. not in the dramatic, fairy tale way. not as a fantasy. but as a promise. as something simple and raw and real.
and he reaches out and takes your hand like it’s instinct. like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
“you have it,” he says.
outside, the world begins to stir. trains groan in the distance. the city starts to wake.
but in here, in the little universe you’ve made with him under dim lights and scattered lyrics and the leftover scent of jasmine tea, everything is still. everything is soft.
and maybe the world still won’t understand.
maybe your family will take time.
maybe you’ll both carry the weight of being two people in love who don’t fit the boxes you were given.
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in which; your one-night stand shows you that good times aren’t limited to the night before.
word count: 4.1k
pairing: softdom!lee know x f!reader
genre: smut, fluff
warnings: vaginal sex, (vv short) blindfolding, unprotected p in v (wrap it guys!!), slight somnophilia, dacryphilia, creampie, cute n cuddly at the end, minho is 'inexperienced' but scarily good, fingering
notes: brought to you by wheelofnames.com which chose the member i’m writing about today,, although i have been thinking ab lino wayyyy too much lately …
crossposted on ao3!
you swore that you would never go on a blind date as long as you could help it.
but the exception came when your best friend was describing a friend of hers from work and how he so desperately needed a girlfriend. in her words, he was ‘so handsome that he’s a waste of a single man’. apparently, he wasn’t experienced with women at all. from what you understood over phone, at least.
so, when you show up to the restaurant, you don’t expect much from somebody who’s never been with a girl in his life.
“i’m looking for the table reserved under the name lee?” you enquire from the waitress at the front door of the restaurant, smiling courteously at her lectern of sorts.
she guides you with such grace that, for a moment, it looks like she’s gliding across the marbled floor. her hand motions to the table nearby to the window at the far back of the restaurant and, from where you ended up standing right next to it, it looked like the best seats in the entire place. twinkling starlight and boats bobbing along the near-black river, your eyes were mesmerised for a second too long when your date turns around and greets you.
“you must be ms. y/n?”
despite your assumptions of what ‘handsome’ looks like to your best friend, you can’t help but swallow upon meeting his eyes. they’re almost the same deep raven colour of the water outside and they seem to have stolen the stars from the sky itself, installing small pieces of glassy white into his irises. not to mention, his smile looks the type that people would fight over. his perfectly centred bunny teeth are what strikes you the most and that angular nose bridge looks so sharp that it could most likely cut through your skin if you pressed it too hard.
you clear your throat, wearily extending a hand to distract from the blatant truth that you were enjoying the view way too much — enjoying it so much so that if someone were to draw the ornate curtains of the windows adjacent, you would be silently relieved that you could just focus and bask in this man’s beauty.
“uh, you must be…?”
“minho. lee minho.” he stands up, letting go of your hand and using his own to pull your chair out for you. he takes his seat back and waits for you to adjust comfortably before taking the handkerchief next to his place and unfolding it onto his lap, pushing the frames on his face further up.
following suit, you try your best not to stare at his prominent adam’s apple which is barely peeking out from behind the collar of his shirt. “you’re a software developer?”
“yes, indeed i am.” minho flags down a waiter.
“and would you say it’s difficult?”
“quite. super stressful at times, but rewarding nonetheless.”
the night melts into imperceptibly lurid swirls of indigo and electricity.
this stranger quickly becomes realised as the epitome of the reason why you 'don't judge a book by its cover'. minho dances in his free time, adjusts his collar and cufflinks when you compliment him, has three cats that he calls his children. he’s been in and out of the city but prefers to stay in one place when he’s given ample opportunity to and, judging by his suit and the choice of restaurant, you assume he’s got a pretty penthouse somewhere nearby with a big bedroom and hopefully a big enough bed to fit you if the night goes your way.
it’s difficult to look away from him the entire time that you’re sat down. i mean, it’s not like he wasn’t returning the favour — the way his eyes narrowed every time you spoke made your cheeks flush and, almost as though he could see through you, he'd flash you a charming smile that made you feel weak in the knees and even weaker in the abdomen. two bottles of fancy aged wine later, there is no bone in your body nor instinct in your mind that dares to decline a ride back to his house. however, upon arrival, you're greeted with a modestly beige apartment complex with an out-of-service elevator and a vacant welcome desk in the lobby.
"yeah, nobody's manned the desk for months now." minho remarks, jovial in tone.
reluctantly, you stumble up the stairs and silently pray that you only have to scale a maximum of one more flight before you arrive at his flat.
"i live on the top floor." at least you were right about the penthouse thing.
usually, you wouldn't be fussed about walking but since you were admittedly drunk as hell and wanted to have a lie down, you bite your tongue and sigh quietly.
before you can take another step, he puts his arm out, blocking you from getting onto the stair in front of you. "here, sit, sit."
like some sort of prince charming, he gets down on his knees and takes one of his hands to the sole of your high-heel, slipping it off and doing the same with your other. maybe it's the glassiness of your eyes, or perhaps the relief of sitting down, but you don't protest his actions, instead stilling his shoulders and swaying from side to side with a grateful smirk. minho's good from any angle, you decree.
the rest of the way up is a god-honest blur. he scoops you up in his arms, handing you back your heels and effortlessly carries you bridal-style for eight flights of stairs. just as easily as he carries you, minho unlocks the front door and plops you down on his bed, tucking you under the covers.
"okay, i'm going to go sleep on the couch." he leans over and plants a kiss on your forehead.
like a reflex, you clutch his blazer and pull him with all your might back towards your face. chardonnay on your breath, your voice is all but a whisper. "stay."
"stay?"
"please stay with me, minho."
"baby, i need to get changed, you're drunk," his better judgement tells him to follow his head and not the bulge in his pants, coaxing your grip away from the fabric, all the while you blindly grasp for it every time it gets out of your reach.
whining, you plead, "minho, i want it. i'm tired, but- but i swear, i can stay awake."
don't, his mind echoes over and over. "y/n, i- okay, i'll get dressed first."
though you can't see it, you can feel his breath on your face and you part your lips in anticipation. his tongue swipes along the opening of your mouth with such care that it could have mistaken for tentativeness, entering to make contact with your own. his lips envelop you into a wet, gentle kiss, coating your mouth inside and out with the subtle, fruity taste of wine. experienced or not, he knows full well what he's doing to you.
"let me go now, 'kay? open your eyes."
all that is switched on is the warm-toned bulb of the bedside lamp and a low-roaring flame of a candle on its first burn when you oblige. minho is in the far corner of the room, closer than expected, back against the wall, his hand settling on his tie. grabbing the half-windsor knot, he slides his finger into it and pulls, undoing it in one swift, fluid motion, walking towards the bed with it in his left hand.
"lift your head, hm?" he takes his blazer off and rests it at the foot of the bedframe, hanging halfway off the edge. making his way over to you, his right hand slips between your head and his pillow, guiding your head while you assume an upright position. he sits behind you. both of his arms snake around your head, meeting behind it and tying a knot.
"what was the point in opening my eyes?" you giggle.
amusement in his tone, he responds, "maybe if you stay patient, you'll find out soon enough."
"and if i can't wait?"
once he ties the second knot, you feel a finger trace down behind your ear down to your shoulder and shove itself into the gap between the button of your dress and the rest of it. "let's just say that i want you to know exactly who's responsible for what you'll be feeling in a couple minutes."
after unclasping the button and dragging the zip downwards, he lets you take the rest of it off, the weight of his body departing from the bed, causing the mattress to spring up. you eagerly wait, senses heightened by the suspense but dulled because of your tipsiness, awaiting minho's return. a clatter of hangers and another zipper is all you hear before you feel the man's steady approach from the foot of the bed, sending you reeling backwards and, when your head hits the pillow, you feel his hands at either side of your near-naked body, flanking you from all possible angles. trying to speed up the process, you spread your legs, rendering a low chuckle in return from minho, before he leans his head down closer to your ear.
"look at this— look at you, holy shit." the hands that were once on either side of you find their way to your waist, sliding down until they reach your hips. he murmurs a low fuck and proceeds with a tone so hushed that you think that he's still talking to himself for a second. "see what happens when you wait, baby?"
in spite of the fact that the question is most definitely rhetorical, you answer back with a sultry quality in your voice. "should i be proud of myself? you gonna give me a medal?"
"cute. i'll give you something better, how's that baby?"
you feel his hand settle on your thigh, making its way to between them and finally hovering over your clothed core. sighing contentedly under his touch, he begins to rub circles into it, eliciting a few whimpers that come out inexplicably fast.
usually by now, you’d assist whoever is doing this to you and guide their hand to meet your preferred pace but, right now, in this moment, you’re not sure if you hesitate because you can’t see or if you don’t ever want minho to stop. he knew how to touch you and where, too. there was no need to test the waters, no need to press with further questions, no need to change what he was doing; it was the first time you felt such unbridled pleasure in a long time, maybe even ever.
nonetheless, your lack of vision did not help you stay awake in the slightest, nor did squeezing your eyes shut when you were nearing your high. you lost all sense of time, unsure of how many minutes had passed - not that you were concerned anyways - but you wanted to know if this was as far as you were going to make it before you passed out from the alcohol in your system.
you didn’t notice it, but minho did.
“hey, hey, don’t get all quiet on me now,” his voice echoes in the chambers of your skull, reverberating in your ears as he grants you the ability to see that he had taken away earlier. he smirks. “only been five minutes.”
it doesn’t take long for your eyes to adjust to the light but it takes you a few extra moments to fill fathom the sight of minho, shirt undone but still hugging his back while he stared intently at your underwear, up to your eyes, then back down to his original position. he’s still got that smug smile on his face.
“attagirl. it would have been more fun if you kept that on for longer, but i wanted you to have the choice to look.”
look? more like the choice to gawk at his toned chest now fully exposed, to ogle at the tent in his pants, to admire the scar across his abdomen. his previously combed hair is now sticking upwards ever so slightly at its ends, his sleeves have been pulled up to his elbows and, perhaps the most striking, his glasses are now absent, revealing some hidden sparkle in his eyes that was obscured by them.
you feel your neck flush the same colour as your cheeks. “it’s difficult to focus on this all at once.”
“well, take it in.” his lungs are still practically heaving at the sight of you in nothing but your bra and panties.
coyly, you tease, “what are you staring at?”
“when you’re spread out like this in that cute matching set, eyes glazed over, it makes me want to take my time, examine you a little.”
“i’m not one of your little computer programmes that you need to solve.” you remark.
his eyes narrow, shielding the glimmer that was once present.
“you’re right. i’ve already got you all-”
minho’s fingers find their way behind the fabric and onto your clit, rubbing punishingly slow circles.
“-figured-”
he leans in.
“out.”
like a parched desert wanderer, you yelp when his digits depart from your core, wishing they’d return or, better yet, be replaced by something else. instead, they hook into either side of the garter of your thong and with the help of his thumbs, come down with a gentle pull.
equally as thirsty, he gulps at the sight of your pussy, now fully exposed without a futile barrier of cotton cruelly hiding it. the desperation causes you to let out a lodged breath that you didn’t know you were holding.
despite his obvious struggle to control himself, he does not rush to make contact and opts to drag the tips of his fingers up and down your slit, dipping into your entrance without fully committing. every single time you feel him inch further inwards, you shakily exhale, heat rushing to your head so fast that it feels as though you’re about to pass out fully.
—
you’re not sure what wakes you up first: the orange-stained sky drenching the room in concentrated sunlight, or the feeling of two large hands on your body, one groping at your breast while the other kneads your thighs with such rigour that you’re certain there’s a red mark where pressure has been applied.
“morning, beautiful.” a sleepy voice from behind you mumbles.
instead of responding, you prolong a groan, coming from a place of exhaustion.
minho’s lips find a place to settle behind your ear, placing a few gentle pecks in the general area. “oh, you’re still not awake?”
he smirks against your skin and starts kneading harder. after a string of exasperated groans, you feel something against your ass.
“i bet you feel that baby, i bet you feel how hard i am.” despite the dirty words leaving his mouth, he still manages to make you feel butterflies in your stomach through some air of innocence.
the grip that his hand has on you pulls back momentarily but, just as quick as it left, his fingers ghost your hardening nipples, taking them between his fingertips and rubbing them.
“i like when i get to do all the work but c’mon baby, how could i not when you look like this when you’re asleep?” he groggily begins, a whine escaping his mouth while you knowingly settle further back into his body, feeling his bulge through his underwear against your back.
without thinking, you chuckle into the pillowcase, the muffled sounds making more noise than you anticipated.
“i knew you’d struggle pretending.”
you still your movements and stiffen up at his voice, the position that you’ve found yourself in almost taunting you and, as if that wasn’t enough, minho still found your previous playfulness cute as ever.
he coos, “be a good girl and go back to sleep, yeah?”
to signal the point of no return, he traces your bare spine with two fingers, following the trail of wet that was leaking through your underwear and slipping his fingers between your slit. not quite going inside, he shakily exhales.
“here i was thinking you’d protest a little more.”
he presses his lips against the back of your shoulder before withdrawing his hand and turning you to face him. more out of surprise than fear, you squeeze your eyes tight, sucking your lips in to stifle a yelp.
even though he knew full well that you were awake, there was no harm in pretending that you weren't for his own sake. this is how he imagined his first serious time with a woman would be like, except he was not expecting the woman to be as beautiful as you are. fighting his impulses for a short moment, minho leans in and kisses your lips with a hunger that you could not help but satiate, parting your lips slightly to allow his tongue to enter your mouth. he quickly found your tongue and began to suck it in slowly, rubbing clumsy circles on your clit. to say it felt good for him was an understatement. the thought of having you to himself without you denying him felt so fucking amazing; minho couldn't help it anymore.
using the hand that was already there, he pulled and discarded your panties aside and lined the head of his dick up with your hole. no thoughts of finding a condom or asking if you were on the pill or checking where you wanted him to finish crossed his mind before he pushes himself inside of you. it took a while for him to fully bottom out, hands helping your legs rest on top of him but, once he had finally found the deepest point that he could force himself inside, there was no going back. going off pure instinct alone, you reach for the back of his head while he begins his thrusts in and out. it was like he had fucked you a million times before to say the least.
"fuck, baby, you're so tight around me," he dotes, his voice barely escaping his mouth when he pulled his lips back by a centimetre or two to speak. "you can open your eyes, baby girl."
feigning fatigue, you blink profusely and allow your eyes to readjust to the light around you, illuminating minho's figure from behind. "...hm?" you whimper, forehead resting against the base of his neck.
"there you are, how do you feel?" his eyes fixate on your face, cheeks flushing pink and intensifying each time he pumped himself inside of you. you could feel the tip of his penis graze your cervix and it was only then you realised he was near balls deep into your heat.
"i- oh shit, min, keep going..."
"min? that's a new name." once more, he leans in to kiss you but you close the gap between your lips faster, crashing so hard that the pain swells and dissipates only after he's used his tongue to soothe you. picking up the pace, your mind turns to mush while he caresses your waist and squeezes his way up until he's groping your breast like he did earlier, only with more intention, less care.
by this point with any other guy, you would have been thinking about the best time to cop out and fake your orgasm but somehow with this inexperienced 'stranger' of sorts, that was not even an issue that crossed your mind. instead, thoughts of how you were going to prolong your peak would occasionally arise and subside: were you going to ask him to slow down, maybe ask him if he wanted some head? either way, you fail to draw a conclusion before he somehow pushes deeper, harder, and your head buries itself into his shoulder.
"oh, oh...fuck, fuck!" you wail, your corneas stinging and threatening to release a few tears out of pleasure. "stop, fuck, slow...ple- slow down!"
unlike what you were expecting, he quickens his pace, thrusting brutally into your sopping cunt, struggling to hold in your orgasm. "yeah, you fucking like that?"
you're practically sobbing at this point, squealing at the sensation of not only his cock, but of his tongue, now tracing your jawline and savouring each salty tear that ran down your cheek. the only thing that you can see is that cocky smile while he waited for your teardrops to reach his mouth and, somehow, your hands never stop their movements on handfuls of his hair, scrunching and tugging slightly to ground yourself.
it is what he says next that finally sends you hurtling over the edge. "you look so pretty, all cock-drunk for me like this."
like a tsunami, your high approaches without signs of ceasing, drawing out shrieks of immeasurable ecstasy from your very core. tightening around him, your pussy pulses and squeezes his member so hard that he can't help but spill inside you with a loud grunt, halting his movements completely for a much-needed moment.
he initiates conversation, still buried in your cunt to the hilt. "baby, i'm beyond sorry for starting while you were still asleep."
you giggle, looking up at him from under his chin. "and if i said i liked it, minho?"
"then i'm far from sorry." he pulls out gently, cautious to not apply further pressure at the risk of overstimulating you too much.
from the tip to the base of his cock, he is flushed a deep red, head pulsating with the slightest bit of his release dripping down from it. his cum coated your insides and you didn't realise just how much he had unloaded into your pussy until you felt it run down your slit and presumably onto the bedsheets beneath, staining it sticky with the result of his lustful desires.
minho gets up, pulling on a pair of boxers and walking with purpose towards a drawer of his nearby to the door of the room. after digging through the neatly-folded articles of clothing, he returns back to the bed with another pair of similarly-coloured briefs and a shirt of his that looked way too big for you.
"put these on, what do you want to order?" he scratches the back of his head sheepishly. "i'd cook but, uh, i think i'd have too much trouble trying to stop myself from fucking you on the kitchen counter."
politely, he hands you his clothes and puts his hand under the duvet, finding your panties and tossing them into the basket in his ensuite bathroom that you were not aware existed until your eyes followed him there. he was still shirtless, much to your enjoyment, and it feels almost depressing to see him pull a vest over his head while he entered back into the room.
"oh and sorry that i couldn't help myself, i really do mean it."
"no, no, it's okay, minho." you comfort him, pulling up the briefs under the covers and beginning to get out, only for his arm to guide your back down gently against the headboard.
"stay, stay."
he climbs into the vacant space next to you and motions for you to rest your head on his chest, his left hand fetching the TV remote from the bedside table and the right stroking your head, encouraging you to put your full weight of it on him.
"but i am still sorry, i should've asked, i just couldn't hold back, i never get time to myself to hook up with a pretty girl, especially as an amateur software developer myself."
"that's very admirable." you chuckle.
with an inexpression of startling bewilderment, minho cocks an eyebrow. "what is?"
"you're very down-to-earth with the whole virgin thing."
he sits up.
"huh?" your confused state of mind causes you to wrack your brain for any reason to his reaction.
understanding you almost immediately, he bursts out into laughter, ears turning red and his arm around you pulling you further in.
"minho, what is it?"
"baby, i've had sex before."
that sentence alone makes you shoot up in embarrassment. "what?"
"i mean, i just became a software developer, like, three weeks ago. i lack experience in that field."
dumbfounded and humiliated, you shake your head and the only thing that stops you from continuing is his hand coaxing you back onto his chest.
"i've slept with women before, y/n - do you think all this skill comes out of nowhere?"
Pairing : Maknae line🐿️🐣🐾🦊 x Reader Genre : Fluff 🪽 Synopsis : How the Skz Maknae line would hold your hand Notes : I’ve come back after a year! Hopefully for wya longer this time. Btw I’m starting a tag list and looking for beta readers, just msg me if you’re interested. Anyways hope you like this! [Master List] [Hyung Edition]
Jisung :
He’s actually not one that holds your hand while on a walk, he rather wrap his arms around you
However he loves to hold it while you’re chilling, whether it’s out on a date or at home
Thats why he doesn’t really hold your hand in a traditional way, rather he wraps his hand over the back of your own
His first instinct is always to hold your hand as soon as you’re both idle
Sungie finds it soothing how nice your hand feels in his, like two puzzles pieces fit together
Is also one to rub your hand in his own, another thing that soothes him
Sometimes when he gets bored or even without realizing he’ll start playing with your hands/fingers
And sometimes when he feels like it he’ll use both of his hands
“Sungie,” You call out to your boyfriend for the 3rd him now. A hum escapes him, seeming to be listening but you knew better than that. A sigh escapes your lips, he was really lost in thought. “Hannie!”
Your boyfriend’s head snaps up to look at you, his soft eyes locking in with yours. “Yea? You were saying?” You can’t help the giggle that escapes your lips. “What? Wait why are you laughing?” A confused look now on his face.
“Nothing baby lets go.” You say, getting up and draging him out the cafe as he stumbles behind you.
Felix :
Felix doesn’t really care how you hold hands, just as long as you’re holding hands
Even if you’re one who likes to hold his hand in a unique way, he’ll go along with it!
He’s also a hand swinger, although his swings are very subtle and more rythmatic
If for some reason you can’t/don’t want to hold hands he’s also very big on interlocking arms
He especially likes it if you cling onto his arm
One thing about him is once he’s holding your hand in his, he is NOT going to let go
Although he doesn’t have the strongest grip he’s still not letting go
Seriously it can be a bit of a problem sometimes
“C’mon I’ll be in and out babe,” You huff at your boyfriend. “We can just go to the family bathroom together. Why do I have to let go?!” You can’t hold your deadpan any longer, a cackle bursts out of you.
“Felix seriously, it’s going to be 5 minutes tops.” You say as you managed to slip from his grasp, hurrying into to the women’s bathroom. A very upset Felix is heard from behind you “Wait!”
Seungmin :
Is another one who doesn’t care much for hand holding or pda in general
If anything, when he feels clingy he likes to opt for wrapping his arms around you
Whether your walking down the street, sitting together, anything really, he loves to feel you in his embrace that way
It’s also why you find him opting for you under his arm than anything, it makes him feel closer to you than simple hand holding
Sometimes he’ll sneak a kiss on your cheek if he’s feeling a little cheeky, just to gauge your reaction
He loves to mess with you, consciously or subconsciously
Which explains his habit with playing with your clothes/hair/bag/ect, since it’s all within reach
Usually this happens while you’re more idle than anything
The smell of bread fill the cafe you’re in. Nice isn’t it? Although it’s not easy to focus on your surroundings with this—Twirl twirl twirl. It’s all Seungmin has been doing the whole time since you sat down and ordered. Messing with your hair so much you think it’s stay that way even if he stopped.
“Pftt,” You let out accidentally, your boyfriend looked too cute spacing out like that. His head turns to you, locking eyes with you. “What?” He questions. “Nothing, nothing.” He raises an eyebrow at you. “You’re so weird.” Oh if only he knew.
Jeongin :
He’s pretty shy about the whole pda thing but he’ll suck it up for you!
To be honest his default is interlocking pinkies or pointers, he finds it’s the right amount of cute and subtle.
Buttt if you really want more he will. Want a hug? Done. What a kiss? Done. Want to hold hands? Done!
He has a habit of looking down on your interlocked hands, he just loves the sight of your hand in his, it’s perfection to him.
Loves to mess with your jewelry. Rings, bracelets, whatever, it’s his fidget toy now.
Though if your guys are alone enough he’ll start to act more affectionate
Sometimes when he’s feeling extra affectionate he’ll take your pointer fingers interlocked and kisses em
Although afterwards he really can’t help but shy away from you
“Innie, gosh. You’re so cute,” You huffed, taking his hand away from his face. He looked at you, his face flushed and strained with a huge nervous smile. Mwah! “There, now suck it up we’re still on a date here!” You exclaim, taking him by the arm and dragging him down the side walk again before he can fully process your kiss.