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[nebularobo]

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[kiaayomahkwa]

Maneki in: The Great Ricetastrophi!

I wrote this for my friend Zeker's birthday! It involves a cat who saved the day. Kinda. Rated G for slapstick violence. Check out Zeker's art at https://zekerart.tumblr.com/

Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto, wise and brave lunar rabbit god of the night and all things serene, stands atop the mountain that the local villagers have named in his honor, Tsukuyama. “Where the fuck is she?” He wonders aloud as he checks his watch and leans against his mochi hammer. He of course refers to Maneki, a lucky cat statue blessed with life and a cute body that resides in the village below. She long ago agreed to deliver the massive rice offering to him for his lunar blessing. But, the thing is… “Hhheyyy… come on innn… eat heeeere...” She has been lying on the roof of a quiet restaurant all day, lazily beckoning people in. Usually this works pretty well, but unfortunately today there’s a small hitch. “Uhm, Maneki…” The humble proprietor meekly says from ground level. “You know I appreciate your blessings always, but...” “You’re damn right you do!” Maneki blurts out. She absentmindedly picks her nose as she continues to laze. “Y-yes, of course… But today, however...” “What? You don’t think are pulled in by my seeeexy body?” She asks as she scratches her belly. “They are, but… we’ve been closed all day today. I thought that I tol-” “What?! This is an outrage!” She leaps onto her feat, anger in her eyes. “Everyone loves to eat where ever I hang out! That’s how it works! Open up your restaurant right now!” “Well, I’d love to, but...” The restaurant owner rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “But we have no rice. You see, these ruffia-” “OH SHIT! THE RICE!” In a flash, she’s gone, dashing across the rooftops of the village, deftly dancing her way down laundry lines and crashing her way through the windows of homes as she dashes towards her destination. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, she repeats in her head over and over. He’s gonna kick my asssss… Skidding to a stop with some poor old woman’s laundry line draping her shoulders and a mop on her head, she kicks down the door to the village’s only food warehouse, only to find it empty. “Hey! What the hell?” The restaurant owner, wheezing heavily, runs up behind her and nearly doubles over in exhaustion. “That’s what… cough… I was trying to say… It was stolen!” “STOLEN?!” She spins around to look at the poor man, and pulls her coin from her over-sized rosary necklace. With a flick of her wrist, it shines brightly and extends to a giant barrel, forming a massive hammer. “WHO WOULD DARE STEAL FROM ME?!” The man wheezes a bit more, and breathlessly tries to continue what he was explaining before. “Mobsters. Recruiting kids. To steal. On the… On the mountain… cough” He raises a finger to signal that he needs a second, but by the time he looks up, she’s already gone. Elsewhere, in the forest on the side of Tsukuyama, a small team of 4 hooligans laugh as they sit around a campfire besides a stolen cart of rice barrels. Typical ne’er-do-wells, garbed in black and still in the middle of their heist. They were in the middle of a handy, exposition-filled conversation about how they were waiting for the drop-off, but were stopped by the silent appearance of Maneki behind one of them. The other three freeze at the sight, while the fourth is left confused. “Why are you all… Something is behind me, right?” She leans in, a manic look on her face. She then quietly whispers, “Oh, don’t let me interrupt.” Her voice is quiet, but has the aura. The aura of a Mask-bearer. The thief quietly sweats profusely and quietly whispers, “May I live, please?” “Depends on what you hit on the way down.” Now, true to her word, being struck with the hammer isn’t what hurts. It’s like being blasted with an incredibly strong gust of air. But like in a typhoon, it’s rarely the air that kills you. With a powerful strike, his body distorts comically and disappears between the trees as the other thieves scatter, leaving Maneki alone with the sadly pathetic amount of rice. They must have been stealing so much from under her nose. “Oh well,” she says out loud. “One way to fix this...” She jumps on top of the cart, pulls her bell from her necklace and holds it aloft. With a shining light from the heavens, she poses with the wind blowing the charms around her body, and strikes the bell down onto the barrels. “DUPLICATE!” She watches closely for a few seconds, as the barrels do not duplicate. Then, one after another, the lids pop off as they fill overflowing with more rice. “Uh-oh.” The trees on the mountain rustle as the cat girl, panicking, sprints up the summit of the mountain with the cart held aloft. Tsukuyomi is the first to notice. “Oh, lord, she’s-” “I GOT RICCCCCEEE!!!” The cart has been overflowing for so long, that she has formed a veritable river of white behind her down the mountain. “MAKE WAY FOR YOUR- oops!” Seemingly in slow motion, a single rock trips her up and sends the entire cart toppling forward, spilling its ever-flowing payload towards the scared, yet unsurprised rabbit god. Down in the village below, they didn’t have much of a warning besides a loud rumble before a tsunami wave of rice, and a cat girl riding it on a splintered plank of wood, come crashing down on top of the village, crashing through windows and busting down doors to fill the streets and alleyways with white gold. The restaurant owner, sweeping his front porch, stares in disbelief as Maneki slides to a stop atop her plank of wood, posing dramatically as she asks, “Anyone hungry?”

[posi-pan]

silentman0 replied to your photoset “[Image Description: An infographic titled, “What Is Pansexuality?” in...”

"Pansexuality is not ... trans-inclusive" could definitely be worded better. I understood what you meant by reading the rest of that paragraph but it made me do a double take.

I worded it that way because people define and differentiate pan from other sexualities, usually bi, by saying it includes trans people in the attraction, implying that it’s the only one that does. that’s what that section is about, the ways that pan is defined that aren’t correct. but yeah, I can see how if that’s all one sees, even at first, it’s a little “uhhhh, what?”. thanks for pointing this out, I’ll make sure to be more mindful of how I word things.

[ienjoyprettycats]

@silentman0 ‘s cute witch cat ^^

[feriowind]

silentman0 replied to your post: it’s a shame that people seem to discourage...

tell me about it, i’ve actually been doing research on those “unofficial novels” featuring minecraft and pokemon. long story short, it’s entirely up to the individual companies if they want to crack down on them or not.

:0 i have not heard of those novels 

and yea, i just figure if there’s a series that a million artists are selling prints of it at cons, then surely it should be okay for writers to also sell novels of it (in small batches anyways, not published or anything)

[kiaayomahkwa]

Walking

I got a book full of sci-fi/fantasy/horror writing exercises. This was the first one in it. Enjoy, if you want.

My feet hurt.

I trudge along, filling my part of the line, as we move ever more closely to the mine. The only things to look at for the last 3 hours is the person in front of me and the dried lava flow stretching out to either side of us to the sea on one side and the forest on the other.

This sucks.

The person in front of me is a lady, maybe in her late 40’s, wearing this bizarre, brightly colored outfit that looked straight out of a white rapper’s early 90’s music video. I reach behind me into my backpack, and pull out an empty water bottle with a hole in the bottom. God damn it.

I’m thirsty.

The dude behind me speaks up. “Hey, buddy! Wanna borrow mine?” I consider it. I mean, it’s not like it matters. I just feel thirsty, really. I’m sure whatever’s with his water is probably messed up anyway, so I just respond, “No thanks, man. I appreciate it, but I’m good.” There’s a weird, echoing whooshing of wind, and the person in front of me is replaced by the guy who was behind me. It looks like we’re almost as the edge of the volcano now. God, finally.

I’ve been walking forever.

Well, not literally, of course. But I’ve lost track. Maybe a few hundred years? When did those track suits the lady was wearing fall out of style? Oh well, whatever. I’m almost at the end of the line. Why is it a volcano? I thought it was supposed to be gates. Or a stairway. Or whatever. I just close my eyes and keep trudging.

I can’t believe I’m almost there.

And just like that, there I am. On the edge of the volcano. There’s a dude with a rad beard standing there, wearing jeans and holding some kind of tablet. I can’t tell if it’s the stone kind or the computer kind.

“Up or down?”

I’m kind of stymied at first. Is this a trick question?

“Uh. Up is the good one, right?”

“Usually. Some people like the down one.”

“Who?”

“Metal musicians who take it too seriously.”

“Huh. Weird. I think I want up, though.”

“Alright, you got to the end of the line, so here you go.”

I feel an aching feeling in my stomach as I’m suddenly standing, surrounded by clouds, in the middle of a giant, empty parking lot. There is a single vehicle, a pick-up truck of some kind, far off in the distance.

Aw, fuck. More walking?

[kiaayomahkwa]

The Restaurant After the End of the World

Chapter 1

I stood over the body as it bleeds out, unconscious, onto the immaculate red carpet, the blood staining it only subtly. He had landed face-down, requiring me to use the long, jagged-edged metal pipe that I was carrying to turn him, letting me examine my handiwork. His nose was practically all the way through the back of his head, and a large puncture was clean through an eyesocket. They always looked so tough. They never actually were.

I laid my pipe against the inside of the counter overlooking the dining area. It always felt like I was on stage, over a story above the rabble. Laborers, farmers, tillers the lot of them. My people. My friends. They were all eating feasts, more than any of them could imagine, delivered to them down the stairways to my left and right, by their people. Their friends. I grabbed a metal microphone that looked more at home in an old-timey radio station, or hanging over a boxing ring. "Sorry for the interruption, folks."

I bent down, and grabbed the body by his lapel. As I lifted it up, its neck twisted in an unnatural way. Poor guy, couldn't have happened to a nicer fellow. He was heavy, but my muscles were stronger. The muscles built by toil. Waste. Anger. They lifted the intruder onto the counter, displaying him to the crowd underneath. "I don't think we'll have to worry about this one anymore." They cheered. They whooped and hollered. They raised their fists in celebration, almost worshiping their friend who had helped them yet again. I clicked the microphone off.

Jackie came up from behind me. She had volunteered immediately to work the kitchen after discovering how it worked. She loved working with old machines like that. "What are we going to do with him, Chief?" I looked at the dead man. He was wearing a weird, fake simulacrum of the kind of clothes that we wore. New fabric, shredded and covered with mud, made in designs that none of us had ever seen. No armor, and the only weapon he had was a tiny pair of knives, like he had expected to get closer to me without my having noticed. Nothing on him actually worth taking.

“How’s the kitchen supplies?” I had checked nearly every hour since we had dug our heals in, ever since we got the network going. I knew exactly how she was going to answer, because she does the math perfectly and gives the same answer every time. “If we keep up this pace and we get more of our people coming in, a couple of months. If we start rationing, maybe a year.” I walked over to the window, looking down onto the street below. Large groups of armed and armored besiegers stood outside, baffled by the fence that we had built around the restaurant, stretching out the city wall. It wasn’t a good fence. But they’ve just stood there, shocked by our audacity.

“We don’t need to ration yet. Plus we got whatever’s in the second basement.”

“We can’t keep relying on the second basement. Could be empty. Could be dangerous.”

“Wanna check?”

“Nope.”

“Wanna give our floppy guest back to his friends?”

“Yep.”

She lifted the faker over her shoulders effortlessly, and carried him into the rusted freight elevator up to the roof. I’d love to watch her dump him onto the besiegers, but the same thing that always pulled me into the kitchen to quintuple-check the math drew me.

Our kitchen didn’t need to use the same supplies the kitchens outside the city use, spoons and pots and what have you. It was a food replicator, the last one in existence as far as any of us knew. Grey, busted, but working. It was an enormous box that filled half of the building, and it had a flat monitor every few meters along its side. Most of them didn’t work. The ones that did had enormous scratches and cracks. But, luckily, the ones that did work told you all you needed to know. How much resources it had, and what meals it was creating. 10 pounds turkeys, all the stuffing and potatoes and gravy you wanted in a matter of minutes. Apparently there’s an intake for more resources outside, but it’s on the other side of the fence. I could have made a raiding party, but it’d take time until my friends are fed enough, strong enough. Alive enough. It probably won’t take that long, I thought. Just gotta be patient.

“Chief?”

Different voice. That time it was… Alex? Sounded like him. Not another besieger, at least. I turned around, and I was right.

“Hey, what’s up?”

He held a clipboard and a pen that he found. I don’t know where he found those, but it made it look like he knew what he was doing. The scribbles he used for notes looked weird, but they looked like they made sense, a language that I don’t know. He was smart, like Jackie.

“We’ve got more reservations coming up from the basement, but I don’t think we have enough tables. Think you can get some of our friends to finish up their meals?”

“No problem.”

I grabbed my pipe, hefted it over a shoulder, and reached for the microphone to talk to my friends.

[vetisxart]

So I got Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate a little bit ago because I love World, and when I first saw Arzuros I said, "Hey, I know her!"

oh look thats me