So I'm just here sitting in my room listening to music and it's already 4 a.m. All I can keep thinking about is my past and my present. I'm an overthinker and I guess you can say I tend to live in my past too much. Anyhow, I can't help but think, man, I was so fucking cool. Not in a cocky way or anything but I was such a happy person and didn't give two fucks about what anyone thought of me. Yeah, I had encountered puppy love before, went through the whole high school drama bullshit, and the list goes on. But, the one thing that stands out the most is that regardless of anything I was at peace. I had my own thing going on. I was always learning, reading, getting into all sorts of different kinds of music, getting to know myself more, and learning how to play instruments. I kept to myself most of the time and did my own thing. I was fine with that. In fact, I was completely blissful. I was dependent. I didn't need anyone or anything to make me happy but myself. Now I've turned into someone I don't even know anymore. It's gotten to the point where I have to indulge myself in work just to sort of satisfy myself. I'm always searching for someone or something to make me happy. I'm so full of anger and regret now it's not even funny. I think it's time for me to find myself again and learn to forgive.