A continuation of this post by @k1ll-v-maim, of our shared cyberpunk 2077 worldstate. tw: delusions/hallucinations, break with reality, sort of alluding to suicide (or rather, willingly walking to your death.)
“get it together Valerie.” she whispered harshly at the shattered mind image of herself in the now broken mirror, cybernetic fingers smearing the blood (jackie’s) on her lips across her face before moving to fix her bangs. (why does any of this matter why are you fussing over this shit none of it matters go out there and die already you know he’s waiting why are you afraid don’t fear the reaper baby he’s been waiting for you for sooooo long ten years he’s been waiting. go on get out there take his hand. they’re waiting for you all of them sylvie and leon and now jackie.)
“Mija.”
“Jackie… Jackie I sent you- sent you back home. You- You’re hurt.” dead he’s dead he’s dead you’re dead too you’ve been dead for years, v don’t you remember. c’mon baby.
She didn’t turn around, mechanical fingers locked in place on a strand of hair, tugging at it methodically, returning it to it’s place, framing her blood stained face, over and over and over and over-
“Mija, c’mon. Every time with this, you look fine. Dex is waiting.”
“Ja- Jackie. You. You need to go home. You’re- you’re not okay-” he’s deeeeeaaaaad, “And. You can’t, can’t be here. You’re h-hurt… and, Delamain, was- is taking you back home. To Mama Welles. You’ll be safe there, okay? Let me handle Dex. Let me…” her fingers slipped did they? and the hair she had been tugging on came out in a chunk, before her cyberhand released it’s iron grip, letting the individual strands flutter to the edge of the blood stained sink.
“Mija.”
“Jack-”
“Mija why are you hiding? C’mon… you never hide from me.”
that’s right why are you hiding why are you afraid its because you know its your fault isn’t it. your fault he’s dead. look at him. LOOK AT HIM
“Please,” the plea came out choked as she turned around, hands against her face, “Please go home, Jackie, please. You- you got shot… but you’ll be okay. You’ll be okay if you just go home-”
“Cos I’m bulletproof, ay? Yeah I remember mija… so I’ll never leave you. That’s what you wanted ain’t it? Someone to never leave.”
A sob fell from her lips as she looked at Jackie his corpse how did his corpse get in here because he’s dead remember he’s dead, that’s not your Jackie. “Yeah… yeah you promised me… promised- promised you wouldn’t die like. Sylvie and Leon.”
But look at him. He's covered in blood. Leon bled like that didn't he, sure he did. You didn't get to see him bleed out like Jackie but you saw the way he got shot right in front of you, watched his guts slowly fly off the ncart window as it sped to the next spot you never forgot, right? And Sylvie was bleeding too, when Arasaka got her. Bleeding from her eyes, her lips, her ears. TBug probably bled like her too, and do you really think you got Antinea out in time?
A low moan escaped her chest, fingers clawing at her face, her eyes don't you dare fuck those Kiroshis up, Vik installed them, practically gave them away least you can do is have them intact so he can resell them when you show up dead anything to stop seeing the sight before her, the blood soaked smile, the hands that had once picked her off the street and held her snarling face without fear, telling her to live instead of letting the pain chew its way through her and leave her hollow, now covered in his own blood, so much blood-
“Since when has a little blood scared you? It ain't so bad, mija. C’mere.”
“No… no it's-” her knees hit the cool tile of the bathroom floor, eyes struggling to focus on him. He was right wasn’t he? Jackie was always right, the blood that soaked his clothes was nothing, barely anything. What was it that washed blood out? Mama Welles had told her once - vinegar… just needed vinegar and baking... baking soda, right? Or was it baking powder? She'd have to ask again.
His skin was pale- waxy and taut but that was okay too- they'd eat soon, and the color would come back to his face after the first few bites of Mama Welles special stirfry- he's dead. stop pretending. Nothing can save him.
She dragged herself closer to his corpse to Jackie, body trembling as she laid her head against his leg - eyes closing as she felt a hand begin to stroke her hair. Did it matter that she could feel blood dripping down her head as it happened? Did it matter that his leg felt cold, like metal- digging into her forehead?
“See? Not so bad. And I promised you, didn't I? Promised I wouldn't leave ya, mija. Yeah… Never gonna leave you. Aah, shit, what does it matter that I’m dead, huh? - you’ll be dead soon too, V. Then you won't have to worry anymore, will ya? None of us will leave you then, V. C’mon mija, nothin’ to fear. We’re all waiting for you, Sylvie. Leon. Antin-”
Eyes snapped open as she felt her body on instinct push itself away from the decaying corpse how could you not see it? of the man who had saved her life, his glassy eyes staring at her with nothing no there was something wasn't there. contempt, anger, fury, you killed him. Killed all of them. behind them, even as blood and oil spilled from from the proud smile still on his face.
“No… no, you're not- you're not REAL!! You’re not Jackie! Jackie’s alive! He’s alive, so FUCK YOU!” was she screaming out loud? she wondered, would the reaper outside hear her, know that she was in here, trying to hide from him, from her fate, again, and again and again?
V?
“Go away, please go away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll make it better, I promise. Please Jackie, please go home, you're hurt. You're hurt, you- you're okay though. You'll be okay. I promise, I promise. It’s okay, I can do it. I can go out there by myself, I'll finish this. Please, just go- please.”
Everything alright in there, V? Time's tickin'.
Empty.
Of course it was empty, except the shattered pieces of glass from the mirror and her own self. Jackie was probably back home by now, back at the El Coyote. Mama Welles would have called Viktor, who would fix Jackie right up. He wasn't here. It wasn't him that the reaper was after, the one calling V’s name at this very moment. Jackie was safe. Viktor was safe. Antinea-
As she watched the texts send, she stood up, ignoring both the immediate response and the tacky sensation of blood drying against her head, wiping her hands off on her skirt as though it would do anything to clean them, before moving towards the door where she could hear her name being called.
It was clear she couldn't go on. And she had no fear. and she ran to him. She had taken his hand. Come on, baby. Don't fear the reaper.
Johnny, Antinea and Vik after Priss' show — probably after beating Priss #1 fan's ass in the back alley.
Not pictured: p#1f sobbing on the ground as his other opp (Lily Silverhand) comes to finish him off (make fun of him)
