Replies of Wall of Text Crits You For 9001!!!
simmiesworld replied to your post: Random thoughts
I always wonder, but it seriously does not bother me at all. Maybe they followed me a while ago and I’m not posting what they expected. Maybe my style of playing/posting isn’t their cup of tea I wouldn’t sweat it. :)
I wish I could be more like you. I'm getting there. I am less neurotic than I used to be, definitely. ;)
I think it's that I am all intense and I take everything so seriously, and for the longest time I expected other people to be like that too. It's only recently that I've begun to understand other people a little more. Like with Idol - I got kind of bummed out last season because why would people not read all the entries? How can you morally vote in a writing competition if you haven't read all the entries and judged them as impartially as you're capable of?
I read all the things, and I tried to vote fairly. And I ended up stressed out and having to back off a bit because I was losing sleep and the ulcer pain showed up a bit. Haha, I got so mad the week that no one would be eliminated but the top three vote getters would get a bonus, and I wrote my heart out and wrote this little story that I still love, because of the imagery and what I did with the words, and hardly anyone read it! It's like - how can the vote results even be valid then?!
This time around I'm taking it easier, and I'm trying to remember that not everyone sees the world the way that I do, and that vote totals and stats pages and comments and followers and all that don't really mean anything. I'm going to find a few people who value me and my writing for what it is, and they're going to be great and they're going to stand by me, and then the majority of people are just...weird. In a way that I can't understand. And they're never going to be the way I want them to be, they're never going to be as morally strict as I am or take writing or online friendships as seriously, and I just have to let them go.
devilishdekunut replied to your post: Random thoughts
Sweetie trust me, you are amazing, nothing horrible about you.Those two who unfollowed you are the ones missing out on this wonderful journey of Seth and your writings improving every single time you post if I could I’d follow you twice lol
Awwww *gives you great big giant hug*
You do follow me twice! I noticed you followed my personal. ;)
I try, with the improving thing. My goal is to die the best writer ever of all time. ;) I figure I won't get there, obviously, but if I try real hard I could get pretty close.
You're awesome and I'm all happy that we're friends. I'll NEVER unfollow you! :)
jordbakers replied to your post: Random thoughts
it’s okay, i go through the same thing when people unfollow me too. but then i’m just like, welp, it’s their loss, and then i just keep on blogging (‘:
*hugs* It's good to know I'm not alone. And of course I'll keep on blogging. :)
I guess for me it's a bit of a trigger, because of...well, I think you know the story. It causes a little emotional flashback to the Bad Times, but I'm getting more control over it now and understanding it better. I figure give me a year or two, and it won't bother me at all! :)
simperfection replied to your post: Random thoughts
Eh, I wouldn’t pay much heed to the odd unfollow. That way angst lies. Follower counts ebb and flow and there’s not much you can do to stop the tide.
I am a ball of angst, lol.
I guess it's just an area where I feel like I need control, because of things in my past - both in my childhood and late 2009 to mid 2011. I am working on all those issues though, and I'm getting much much better, and I'm realizing that I can't control it and that it doesn't mean that I am a horrible person, that the hate secrets and the ex-best friend and everyone was right about me. It's hard, but I'm doing it and I'm getting there. :)
mysimlife replied to your post: Random thoughts
I go through the same thing. I just focus on having the blog be the way I want it so it doesn’t become a chore. You are an amazing person so don’t let a strangers unfollow bring you down.
*hugs* Good to know I'm not alone - that really does help, doesn't it, knowing that you're not the only person who feels a certain way.
And yeah, about having it be the way I want it. I know the roots of this - I didn't have the safest of childhoods, and I learned to cope by blaming myself for everything and always trying to please everyone. Because if I kept everyone around me happy and liking me, maybe I'd be safe and I wouldn't get slapped or hit or choked. And then the ex-best friend came along and took advantage of those old wounds and poured salt in them.
So I exhaust myself trying to please other people and make them happy, because that's how I feel safe, and I feel all insecure and threatened when I can't control how other people feel about me. And then I ended up developing an ulcer and almost bleeding to death because I stressed myself out trying to keep someone happy when they were determined to never be happy.
I'm learning about boundaries and self-care and putting myself first and and how I can't control other people's feelings about me. I can only control my feelings about me. And also I'm learning that people who are worth worrying about are those who stick around and support me in whatever I want to do or post or write.
And thank you so much! You're amazing too! :) *more hugs*
