some replies
kamatsuya
replied to your post
“I think you're a terrible friend, and a pompous, self-obsessed, vain,...”
Wow, the loser who said this to you is an insufferable cesspit of boiling warts. Don't listen to a thing he says - you are an amazing writer and the nicest person ever! :)
You word things in such creative ways! :) Thank you for the support. Really I think that the person is just very sad, and my own anger towards them has burned out. It’s the bystanders who’ve joined in with them and who’ve let that person dictate their view of me over the years who still bother me.
For me at least, the best response is to make it clear as a community that we won’t accept this and that it’s not okay. We can stop enabling people like this troll and we can stop giving them an audience and stop acting like their behavior is acceptable. We can support their targets instead of turning on them, and we can believe targets instead of calling them “crazy” and whispering about them and abandoning them, and we can take away the power of people like the person who sent that ask.
It’s not the eight years of obsessive anonymous hate that I found traumatizing. It was the isolation and the abandonment and the disbelief. It was the invalidation and the blame and the shaming for something that I had no control over. It was the community allowing it to go on for eight years. I do think at some point some mod over at Simsecret decided to not allow secrets about me anymore, but I’ve heard through the grapevine that it’s being allowed again now.
There may not be much we can realistically do about the people who roam the internet looking for targets to unload their pain and shame and anger and free-floating aggression on, but we do have power over how we react to that abuse as a community, and we can do better than we have.
frost-rainbowcy
replied to your post
“I think you're a terrible friend, and a pompous, self-obsessed, vain,...”
I am so sorry that you have been receiving this level of hate. There is no room for that in this community. You are wonderful. You are creative, and what you do is unqiue- that's why I follow you. It sounds like you are okay, but know that there is support for you in this community. This anon/bogus account has some growing to do. It's not you- it's them with the problem. ��
*many many hugs* Thank you, very very much. That really means a lot - like I said above, the worst part of this has been the lack of support in the community.
But that was part of the learning too. I had to learn to stop expecting decency and honesty from people who weren’t capable of those things, and I had to learn to put up boundaries, and I had to learn to spot red flags. So these days I do actually have a decent support system, and I’ve created a mostly safe little space for myself in the community, and I only chill with the awesome peeps, like you. :) Thank you for being decent. I really really really appreciate it.
