''Why didn't he come with you? You know, just to make sure you were dropped off at a safe place?'' she innocently asked as she stared at the cars and buses speeding past us from where we stood at the side of the street.
I stared, and in my inebriated state, I couldn't grasp what she was saying at first. Her small eyes held my gaze. A brightly lit truck came rushing and her curious face shone against the darkness of the early morning dusk. ''Ohhh..'' I tried to act cool but I knew she caught me looking away. ''Never mind, it's all good. We're...'' I hate that fraction of a second where I stuttered, ''We're just..cool, you know? Nothing really serious. I mean, '' I feigned a shallow laughter, ''How can you be serious in a situation like that, right?'' my palms felt sweaty and I wiped them on my pants.
She shrugged. She's Ms. Smarty-Pants and I know she caught the truth, nevertheless. ''Yea, you're right. Just enjoy and have fun. Don't take it seriously. You don't wanna end up like the girl we were talking about earlier.''
See there's this thing about why we gossip. It's to distract the attention from ourselves. It's our way of conversing about our own situation without directly getting involved in it. Women and gossiping. You better get used to it.
I waved a shaking hand in the air, ''Ohh pfft.. Nothing like that. This isn't anything like that...'' I paused and I wondered if I was acting casual or if I was starting to sound defensive. Whatever it is, she kept a calm, reassuring face, as if sending me a message that it's okay to feel like shit, that it's alright to feel a little clingy sometimes, because as a woman, we have the right to be.
''But what is really going on between you two?'' I was caught off-guard when she said it out loud. It's as if she's been meaning to ask it for quite sometime. Gossip, I tell ya.
It took me a few seconds to come up with an answer, ''We're okay. Fine, yea everything's fine.'' from the outside, I wanted to add but I kept quiet. No one has to know.
She finally nodded, looking convinced. ''That's good. Just enjoy, girl. You're young and you should be enjoying life.''
''Damn right I am.'' my smile was genuine before we part ways.
Headache was terrible and my vision was all hazy but I managed to get home without falling asleep along the way. Hey, I'm even taking time to write this shit right here! I noticed I write better when I'm intoxicated. Writing sure isn't an easy hobby but this beats the hell out of doing nothing about all those repressed emotions.
Once in awhile, I exorcise my demons. And experientially, writing has always been my most effective form of personal exorcism.