The Greatest
A/N: this is my first "song fic" ever, I wanted something (or NEEDED) with this song. I might also do a part 2 with Levi's POV.
Based on The Greatest by Lana Del Rey
tags: singer!levi x singer!reader, no use of y/n, implication of female reader, angsty (if I need to add more or if you guys have suggestions as to what I can add pls let me know)
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Saying you were nervous was an understatement. This would be the first time you would perform in front of an audience in three months. For clarity, your ex was in the crowd. It was a completely new song and the first time you'd shown your face in public in a while. You held the microphone with sweaty hands, and your manager smiled at you. "You'll do amazing. Just get out there and do your thing." She says while she holds onto your shoulders.
"It has been a while since I performed, you know."
"Perhaps, but many artists have gone longer, " she says. She was correct; you couldn't let a few nerves bring you down.
"Here goes nothing." You approach the 'x' on stage where many other singers have stood. Feeling the weight of your long dress, you wait patiently for the music to start.
"I miss Long Beach, and I miss you babe
I miss dancing with you the most of all
I miss the bar where the Beach Boys would go
Dennis' last stop before Kokomo,"
The lights shine bright, and luckily, you couldn't see anyone. That is until you start walking towards the front of the stage, and the audience's faces start to pop up. You can see the shock on people's faces when they realize it's you singing again. You can see the table where your old friends are sitting, slowly making eye contact with each of them. You see Hange smiling brightly at you with tears in her eyes. Right next to her, you see Erwin giving you a nod, almost as if saying, "We missed you up there." Last but not least, you find the face of the man who broke your heart three months prior, Levi Ackerman. His stoic face was looking up at you with no emotion in sight.
You rapidly look away, not wanting to break down. As you continue your song, flashbacks of your memories with him go through your mind.
"Those nights were on fire
We couldn't get higher
We didn't know that we had it all
But nobody warns you before the fall."
You can't hold it in any longer; you start singing more passionately, and tears start spilling from your eyes. The number of times you've retraced every action that led up to the breakup left you constantly overthinking what went wrong.
Both of you were happy; you supported each other immensely with your careers. Both of you were singers, each other's muses. He wrote you songs, and you wrote him songs. He wrote songs about you, and you wrote songs about him. Everyone saw how deeply you loved each other. But where did it go wrong?
"And I'm wasted
Don't leave, I just need a wake-up call
I'm facing the greatest
The greatest loss of them all
The culture is lit, and I had a ball
I guess I'm signing off after all."
As you reach the chorus, you can see the tears forming in the audience's eyes. Hange was already crying hysterically, and the sight made you reminisce about all the times you watched romcoms at your place, at Levi's place. You can see Erwin already grabbing a tissue box for her and handing it over.
It's not like they stopped talking to you; however, you didn't feel up to socializing after the past few months. Sometimes, you didn't even get out of bed; other times, you didn't even look at your phone. Many fans and friends wondered what happened and where you went. How silly to say you were heartbroken and didn't want to do anything.
"I miss New York, and I miss the music
Me and my friends, we miss rock 'n' roll
I want shit to feel just like it used to
And baby, I was doing nothing the most of all."
You accepted this "gig" because you missed the music. You missed performing, the thrill, and the emotion; you missed the feeling of letting everything inside of you come out. Your manager told you, "I will not force you, but if you keep isolating yourself, you won't come back out." Quite frankly, she was right. You had to do something to return and continue moving forward no matter what happened. This song was born, and you knew you had to perform it.
"The culture is lit
And if this is it I had a ball
I guess that I'm burned out after all."
"I think I need a break." He says with a stern voice. "What do you mean by that?" You look at him, furrowing your eyebrows. He stands in front of you, and both of you are still in the living room of your shared penthouse apartment.
"I don't know; I just think I need a break, " he continues. He doesn't make eye contact with you; he stands there with his head down. Your eyes start filling up with tears, "but why?" He doesn't answer. Deep down, he knows he was in love with you, but something about falling too fast and hard scared him. He wasn't sure what made him so afraid. Was it commitment? Was it rejection, scared that you didn't feel the same? No, he feared you'd leave first, so he decided to go before you. He thought you were too good for him; you cared for him and were understanding, yet the fear stuck on him like a parasite in his mind.
"I'm wasted
Don't leave, I just need a wake-up call
I'm facing the greatest
The greatest loss of them all
The culture is lit, and I had a ball
I guess that I'm burned out after all."
As you approach the end of your song, you see Levi grab his jacket and walk out. Hange and Erwin both shake their heads at him. You feel a sharp pain in your chest as if he ripped out your heart for the second time. Hange looks back up at you, giving you a thumbs-up, a subtle way of saying, "Don't worry."
The tears never stopped. You kept singing, and with every word, it seemed your body decided to release a waterfall. The same question rang in your mind: "What went wrong?"
"If this is it, I'm signing off
Miss doing nothing the most of all
Hawaii just missed a fireball
L.A. is in flames, it's getting hot
Kanye West is blond and gone
"Life on Mars" ain't just a song
Oh, the live stream's almost on."
As you hear the plethora of applauses, you try to smile while wiping away your tears. You walk backstage, surprised to see Hange there. She immediately comes up to you and hugs you, and you completely break down on her.
"It's okay, it's okay. You were amazing, sweetheart." She coos.
"Hange.." you say, your voice cracking, "I'm sorry for not talking to you. I missed you so much. I just couldn't..."
"Shhh, it's okay, I understand. Don't worry, I'm still here." You feel another presence come up and hug you. From the cologne, you can tell it's Erwin. You slowly unravel from the hug. Hange wipes away your tears, and you sheepishly look at Erwin.
"Erwin, I'm so-"
"Don't even apologize. We understand. If it makes you feel better, Hange and I gave Levi an earful." He chuckles.
"Is he still here?" You ask.
"Unfortunately, he left a few minutes ago, but don't worry, I'm sure he will eventually come around." Both of them give you a warm smile.
You didn't even bother going to the after-party of the event. You were exhausted emotionally, mentally, and physically. Your manager gave you a ride back to your place.
"You were fantastic. I know it was tough for you, but many people missed you." You give a small smile, thank her for the ride, and walk into your apartment. You can't hold on any longer, so you start sobbing your heart out.
After an eternity, you change from your dress into some loose-fitting clothing. You put your phone on Do Not Disturb and go straight to sleep. You know you will receive endless texts and calls after the performance, but you won't deal with it, at least not tonight. The only thing you want right now is some rest, and as you close your eyes, the all-familiar question comes back: what went wrong?