7-12-19 Friday 3pm
Wooo it’s muggy today. My room is a nice 87 fucking degrees. I have my fan on my bed blaring at me and the dog. Usually I have it on his pet carrier facing the bed about three feet away. That just isn’t cutting it lately.
I encouraged my son to call his job to see when they were adding him to the schedule since it had been several days since we got the work permit in and such. He called and they said they tried to call him yesterday... when he was out of cell service at the river. But yeah they say come start today at 4. I’m excited and so is he. This is really his first taste at what it’s like to have a job.
Mariana is gonna stay with my mom tonight and they are going to do something tomorrow. So I guess river will have to wait until Sunday. I don’t have any plans tomorrow now but I don’t have to work so that’s a plus. Maybe Seth will want to do something but I’m not sure since there are several things on the rental that still need to be done.
My dad told Francisco previously he could have one of his bikes. My dad has like four bikes or maybe even more and he doesn’t ride them at all. There was a time he was riding a lot and he totally indulged in bikes but we were happy cause he was doing something and not just laying in his room. But it’s been a long time since then and currently he’s got to be pushing close to 350 lbs and he’s not tall. 5’6 probably we’re around the same height. So it pisses me off but simultaneously doesn’t surprise me at all that he’s changed his mind. He would seriously be a hoarder if my mom wasn’t there to control the situation. And even with her there are several areas around their house and in the garage of his shit that is mostly all junk and he will not let us get rid of. Although my mom and I have been able to remove shit little by little so it’s not so bad now. He gets really pissy when we do that. But come on this stuff you’re never gonna use and most isn’t usable anyways. But nah he’s gonna hoard it like his bikes. And it would seriously help us out being im the only one who drives and has a car. I should have my son bug him for rides lot and then maybe he’d get annoyed and say okay here’s a bike. But nah my mom told my son she would buy him one. From Walmart. Like I’m glad but feel bad cause I wish I had money to buy him one. Technically years ago i got him a bmx bike that was nice but he grew out of it being he’s 6 feet tall now. We sold it and I said let’s buy you another bike. But he said nah and used it for something else. But that was like 2 years ago.
I need to get some gel for my hair so I can wash it. That means a trip to ulta and try to resist the urge to buy more makeup. When I lean to the manic side I tend to spend money I shouldn’t. I’d done so well and really I would be doing FINE if I was still working how I was.
I want to get cleaned up in case Seth happens to invite me to meet his friends. I’m pretty sure he won’t but maybe since the dude is bringing his wife. To even things out. That would make me super happy but knowing him that won’t be happening.
I guess I’ll stick to my regular routine of smoking and maybe drinking and watching some Netflix or amazon. Writing shit here. You know the everyday pretty much minus the drinking lol.
I was excited because I thought we’d get our check today. Mom got hers yesterday and all we got was the time card. Ughhh. I wanted the money so I could take care of my dogs shots ASAP and pay my credit card and the tire payment. After that I only have to take care of gas bill and internet. Usually gas bill is a priority being it’s a credit account in my moms name. But right now I’m in a circumstance that she helped put me in. So wait lol. I could have paid almost all of that if I had made money yesterday. As it stands right now I have no extra way of earning money set right now. Gonna try and be positive that something will present itself.
I got to buy tickets to my reunion. It’s next month. I need to see if Seth wants to come or if I will be going sola. I will still go either way but it may be kinda awkward by myself. I’m not even sure who’s showing up. But it hit the feelers at the ten year reunion that I didn’t go to but got to watch all the pics and videos that were posted on Facebook. I was like ok next time you are not missing this. And hey if I could lose another ten pounds by then ima feel even more happy about it. I’ve leveled up on my ability to apply makeup and manage my hair considerably since high school. I guess that’s a plus. Oh and I’m not shy anymore. I also don’t think I look half bad for 38. Even with some chunk there. As for showing off what I’ve accomplished I don’t have too much to tell. I mean well I have two teenagers I’ve raised alone that are still alive and appear to be normal. I’ve had a variety of jobs. I got a vocational degree but never finished a ba. life happens however. I don’t feel I need to butter it up. For fuck sakes most people see my life on social media if they were concerned and everyone is struggling.
