Stages of an Effective Relationship: Defining the Goal
Life without a goal or a plan is like a paper being tossed in the wind. Why is it that we put more effort into planning our professional lives, but when it comes to our personal lives, we leave it up to emotions and chance. No more. When you decide that you’re ready to have someone special in your life, you need to first create a Personal Mission Statement that reminds you of who you are, what your values are and what you stand for.
Then the next step is to define the goal. Know what you want before you open yourself up to the idea of sharing your life with another. Every time I go to the grocery store without a list, I always end up with things I never intended to buy and go over my budget, and when I go grocery shopping while hungry, it’s even worse. My eyes instead of my brain rule. Defining your goal helps you avoid picking up people whose values, personalities, lifestyle and goals do not fit yours.
So how do you define your goal? First, you have to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what role do you want this guy to play in your life? If you want someone that will complete you, that’s a goal no one can fulfill. If you want someone to validate you, that’s too much pressure for someone to withstand. If you’re looking for someone to make you feel good about yourself, that’s too big of a load for anyone to carry. So create reasonable but strong goals and define what you really want out of the friendship and potential relationship, and remember every relationship doesn’t have to end in marriage. So don’t envision wedding bells on the first date. Once you have those goals identified and define, stick to them, unlike an unprepared and undisciplined grocery shopper throwing everything in her cart that pleases the senses.