The Truth About Hooking Up
With a full class workload and the responsibilities of college, many young adults are saying they have no time to date or even think about love. Also, the mindset is why go through the long and expensive hassle of dating when you can just hookup? Studies and popular culture indicate that young adults aren't necessarily looking for a mate and are so preoccupied with friends, getting an education and establishing themselves, that they don't make time for relationships. Therefore, they’d rather just hookup: sexual encounters with no strings attached. But this is not just for the young, more older adults tired of waiting for the right one, are hooking up with the available one.However, when it comes to dating, love and relationships, don’t believe the hype. When it comes to sex, there’s no such thing as no strings attached. Something has to be done with those strings.
Two consenting adults can consent to anything. The danger is people are not honest about their intentions, and usually it’s the women. We say, “I’m fine. I’m not looking for anything. This works.” But as women, we’re more emotional, and if we’re really honest with ourselves, we’ll realize that hooking up doesn’t really work for us. But we dont; so we continue hooking up, having sex with a man who’s not committed to us. We’re like a water fountain he comes to when he’s thirsty or vice versa. In the end, the strings do become attached, but it’s too late to go back, or is it?
If there are strings dangling, they can become attached. After all the strings are there. Our emotions grow. Once emotions come into play, they cause all kinds of feelings. Often those emotions are then expressed in a negative way because we start experiencing feelings of abandonment, feeling unwanted and lonely. We start questioning the guy more and crossing boundary lines. We become anxious, insecure, and it the end there’s a big explosion. But the guy is taken back because in his mind, the two consenting adults agreed to just hook up and have sex. But now, the woman is having second thoughts. She wants more and says, “I can’t do this anymore.” When a woman says that, the guy often doesn’t want to stop having sex with her; so he may commit to her demands and not really mean it just to continue hooking up. This leads to deceit and deception with no easy way to bow out because there’s no exit plan.
The two consenting adults entered this hooking agreement, but while they had an entrance plan, they neglected an exit plan. How does it end? Does it end in an email, over dinner, text or phone call? When does it end? Does it end in three, six months, a year, or when one person finds someone else he/she would like to commit to or has found a better sex partner? What’s the exit strategy? Does one person have to have a reason to end this or does he/she can just leave? So before you start to hook up, think about how you’re going to get off the hook when one person wants a bit more than the other is willing to give.