At the reception, the bridal party was tasked with filling all the champagne flutes. We were handed five cases of chilled Andre and told to get it done as soon as possible.
Literally every single groomsman and bridesmaid: But how do we open them?! You can't just twist it open, right? Owwww my hand hurts! This is too hard!
Emily: Oh for the love of fuck.
*grabs the bottom of her bridesmaid dress and uses it to start twisting off bottle caps.*
*Gets ten bottles open in what must be a world record*
One of the other bridesmaids: Jesus. How are you doing that so fast?
Emily: Every group needs a mean bisexual who can open jars and bottles.
Bartender: Oh my god. Is that the role my friends think I fill?
Emily: *looks over* *notes bartender's half-shaved purple hair and suspenders* Yes. It is.
