May 8, 2025
"You know when I said I wanted to go to Gay Baby Jail, that was a joke. You didn't have to stick me in here with a bunch of childish lesbians."
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"You know when I said I wanted to go to Gay Baby Jail, that was a joke. You didn't have to stick me in here with a bunch of childish lesbians."
"The Flesh that Fucks..."
"Please don't speak random SCP ideas into the either, we still haven't fully proven that there isn't something that just comes up with new SCPs as the ideas come up..."
"This is, the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world~"
"She WHAT!? We have to find this Noah's Arc-ass bitch and contain her immediately!"
"So if you say "Good Morning" from when you wake up to 11:59 am, and "Good Afternoon" from 12:01pm onwards, what do you say to people at exactly 12:00? It always makes me so nervous because it's not morning anymore nor after noon yet!"
"You could say "Good Noon."
"That's stupid, just say Good Afternoon, because noon occurs directly at 12:00, technically by the time you're finished saying it, it will be after Noon by a few seconds."
"That's not how that works, noon is the designation given to 12:00, not the specific instant where 11:59 becomes 12:00, it's still Noon whether it's 12:00:01 or 12:00:59."
"You could just try not talking to anybody for a minute a day, that's definitely the option my antisocial ass would pick..."
"Hmmm..."
Incident Report: Incident F239-35,
Submitted by Director Setsuna:
[Director Setsuna passes by Dr. Shizuka in the hall of Site Farros leading to the Amnestics Lab at 11:59am.]
Director Setsuna: Good Morning Dr. Shizuka.
[Dr. Shizuka nervously eyes the clock, watching the time click over from 11:59am to 12:00pm]
Director Setsuna: ....Dr. Shizuka...?
[Dr. Shizuka stands awkwardly in front of the Director for exactly sixty seconds while the director stirs and sips her morning coffee[
[The clock strikes 12:01pm]
Dr. Shizuka: GOOD AFTERNOON DIRECTOR!!!
Director Setsuna: ...o-okay then...
As per the Director's request, Dr. Shizuka was submitted for brief cognitive testing to check for any hazardous exposure to mind-altering SCPs.
Conclusion: Dr. Shizuka does not appear to have been compromised by any memetic of cognitohazardous effects... she's just kind of dumb.
[End Incident Report]
"Mobile Task Force Rho 34: The Blue Left Testicle. MTF R34 specializes in securing anomalies of a sexual nature, either highly sexual creatures or phenomena or objects that cause dramatically increased libido. The mortality rate is surprisingly high for what's basically the Foundation's version of the Special Victims Unit."
"...t-that's not real, is it?"
"The nature of the Foundation is that there is nothing strange enough for it to be entirely out of the realm of plausibility."
"...that doesn't answer my question."
"No, I suppose it doesn't..."
"..."
"Beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are still just able to endure..."
"Damnit, Shizuka took my pudding out of the fridge again, I know it..."
"ALRIGHT YOU! CONFESS!!!"
"Okay I admit it! I don't know when Mother's Day or Father's Day is so I just send my parents small gifts every couple weeks in the Summer and hope I get lucky!"
"...damnit that's adorable! Now I can't even be mad at you!"
"Maybe, I don't really want to know, how your garden grows. "Cause I just wanna fly... Lately, did you ever feel the pain, in the morning rain, as it soaks you to the bone? Maybe I just wanna fly, wanna live, don't wanna die. Maybe I just wanna breathe. Maybe I just don't believe. Maybe you're the same as me, we'll see things they'll never see. You and I are gonna Live Forever..."
"I said maybe, I don't really want to know, how your garden grows. Cause I just wanna fly... Lately, did you ever feel the pain, in the morning rain, as it soaks you to the bone? Maybe I will never be, all the things that I wanna be. Now is not the time to cry, now's the time to find out why. I think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see. You and I are gonna Live Forever..."
"I didn't know you played the guitar Director."
"Yeah I took it up in college, I was one of those acoustic guitar assholes playing in the quad hoping to get swarms of girls... didn't seem to work as well for me as it did the boys though. My wife liked it though. I used to play for her a lot after..."
"After... When she was in the..."
"..."
"Do you perhaps know any happier songs?"
"Nope, sorry I only know depressing shit."
"OH COME ON!"