How to Be Successful?
“If [more] information was the answer, then we’d all be billionaires with perfect abs.” - Derek Sivers
I have read far too many self-help articles, books, and blog posts claiming to contain the secrets of success.
“Do these 5 things every day to turn your life around.”
“5 morning habits of the ultra-successful.”
“Put this weird butter in your coffee and earn a million dollars.”
It all comes down to more or less the same answers, along the lines of: Read and exercise more, take risks, have no fear, work work work, wake up early, meditate often, be disciplined track your goals, ketosis, hope you like butter, etc, etc.
I’ve read it all ad nauseum while searching for answers to guide a lost young man in a previous life - myself. I’m happy to admit that I have not figured it out in the slightest.
One thing thing that always struck me about every single one of these was that I could read them from first light of day until the sun set beneath the horizon and I would still be no closer to realizing my goals. Worse yet, I had no clearer picture of what the hell my goals actually were.
These books and and articles gave me real advice, they motivated me, and acted as a call to action. They taught me things that I could use in my own life which I had never considered before. In this way, they were invaluable to my current state of mind, lifestyle, and where I hope to go in the future. I believe these books, if used correctly, can be excellent sources of self empowerment and knowledge.
But they all lack the personal touch of: what about me? This is where the soup thins out and the books leave that abysmal feeling in the chest, leaving me wondering what the hell to do next.
I sought answers in knowledge, but instead I built an empty well with strong walls - sure, the tools and everything on the outside were stronger, but what does it matter if the essential water is missing from the inside?
To avoid speaking in metaphor, I had a more willful mind because of everything I learned, but I still had no idea what to do with MY life, my own personal journey, and where to go from the present moment.
The thing is, all of these books, blogs, and inspirational videos are flawed because the best they can do is give you a push, they can never tell me how to be me, or tell me how to build a better version of myself.
They are catered to mass audiences, to reach as many living people as possible within the shortest possible time frame, thus they speak in generalities that fail to make a meaningful or relatable bridge from your point A to your point B.
By relying on them, that well becomes a prison.
Here us my truth: I will never know what will be the correct path to take, because there is no absolute correct path. I will always live a life that is firmly constrained by mystery and I have realized, as all people ought to, that this constraint is actually a great freedom, because I will never have to answer to anyone’s expectations but my own.
I will set my own standards. I will relax when my body and mind are tired and never feel guilty for it. I will push myself and train harder because it is what I want to do. In this moment, I am investing in my future self and making the best plans with my passions being what they are.
The only book that could be written which would teach me, personally, how to be a great success - defined as only I can define it - can only be written by a successful version of me far into the future, and it would take a lifetime to write.
I suspect it will be titled: Make your own damn mistakes.
So never will externally born must-haves ever need to enter into the equation, because it will always be my choice.
That is what is missing from the vast, and admittedly useful world of “self-help.” It is the personal power of choice and comfort in knowing that I will always do my personal best to make the best decision possible in this moment.
I’ve found joy in knowing I will always have a choice.
