5 times the love- skirtedegomaniac :D
Rose had been falling for a long time now. The Doctor was supposed to be just her friend. Nothing more than that. It took a long struggle with her own feelings, but each time the Doctor grabbed her hand... it was easy to say she felt safe and secure. And it was hard to pin point the first time. Rose eventually realized she’d been lying to herself for a long time and denying the obvious. Rose was on the edge the first time the Doctor blew up her job and fell the minute the Doctor took her back home after watching the Earth roast. It had been too easy to fall for the impressive woman. Looking back... Rose had loved the Doctor since that moment. Though at the time... Rose had no idea.
The second time was one that Rose couldn’t pin point down easily and couldn’t easily figure out why it had her falling again. It was an odd moment... one that one wouldn’t think twice about. It was in the Library - so big it didn’t even need a name. It was the first hint that Rose had that Rose might not even be around forever. A woman with impressive hair had implied some things about the future... for both Rose and the Doctor. And for the first time... Rose had some things to figure out. Only a handful of clues. Exactly what happened while she was in the computer... Rose didn’t know. But the woman with impressive hair was gone. And the Doctor seemed rather sad until the Doctor realized what happened. The cheeky “saved her”... Rose realized that she might a little too far gone.
It was cruel the way Rose kept stringing Mickey along. It left Rose feeling guilty and twisted inside. It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t like Rose had taken off with some guy but at the same time... Rose felt bad. And it was hard to figure out exactly why Rose felt so bad about constantly leaving Mickey. But then again... maybe there was a reason that Rose kept feeling guilty about taking off with the Doctor. And it was because Rose loved the Doctor more than she ever loved Mickey. It wasn’t like it had been too hard to love someone more than she loved Mickey. Mickey had been a simple overcorrection.
And then... Rose realized exactly what she had to do. Rose had to dump Mickey because it didn’t feel right to keep Mickey around when she didn’t want to stay around. It was as simple as that.
After everything that happened... everything after going back to her own father’s death.... Rose hated that she didn’t want to go back home. She hated that she had left Mickey. She hated that the TARDIS didn’t hide her for long (though the TARDIS did occasionally let Rose hide when it became too much). Hiding was the easiest course of action because it allowed her to hide from her own feelings. “I’m not ready to see her yet,” Rose informed the ship as she climbed into the hammock tied to the palm trees... under a stimulated sun. At least... Rose assumed it wasn’t real. She imagined that the TARDIS having a real sun hovering above real palm trees and a real seeming ocean wouldn’t be the least impressive part of this ship. The TARDIS was willing to hide off certain rooms for certain amounts of time... though it was very clear the ship was annoyed with how often Rose was avoiding the Doctor. In fact... Rose was certain that the ship was turning up the temperature of this particular room just for her to leave.
“Fine, I’m leaving,” Rose said in annoyance to the ship. She was half annoyed as she left the room, not wiling to the see the Doctor again. And then Rose realized the reason she didn’t want to go back home. It was so obvious. Rose loved the Doctor. And that painful realization meant she had to find the Doctor again. The Doctor wasn’t in the console room, Rose noted. And it became obvious where to go. She got down from the TARDIS, raising an eyebrow at the spaceship.. and the French mantle place. What?
She awoke with a start back on the TARDIS. There were Daleks... yes. That much Rose remembered. And there was still that odd singing in the back of her mind that twisted and felt... nice. But that wasn’t important at the moment. The Doctor seemed to be acting weird. Talking funny... about how they wouldn’t see each other again. And Rose nearly fell apart. She knew that the Doctor was too good for her and now she was essentially being dumped. But then... then the Doctor started going on about how she was going to take her to so many places... and that she was dying.
Tears started to fall, far too easily. Rose hated that she was crying over this but... she’d done so much to save the Doctor and now it might’ve been for nothing. Then the singing started back up... as if promising everything would be alright. A bright golden light... and the Doctor as Rose knew her was gone. It was cruel that the woman Rose had grown to love had been taken away from her like this... after trying so hard to save her, she was gone.
