Claudia: Hey - I hope you're night with Charlie was fun. What did you end up watching?
Claudia: I don't think Brinley is doing as well as she presents herself to be. Tonight we should do our best to let her know that she can reach out to us, that we should all be reaching out to each other. Do you have any ideas?
Claudia: [UNSENT] I'm really worried about her I don't know what she's doing when none of us are with her and it scares me.
Claudia: We shouldn't be doing reckless things alone.
who brinley and phoenix
what camping out on the ascott's trampoline
when thursday may 25th
Listening to Phoenix laugh - genuinely laugh, not the forced smirk or half smile she'd mustered over the past few weeks when people tried to cheer her up - made Brinley's heart constrict in her chest.
The sky had long since turned a dark navy, stars littering here and there and the street light from Firehouse Lane behind them shrouded them in dim shadows as they curled up on the trampoline.
The wine coolers were long gone, disappeared as the sun set, their energy waning as their nostalgia filled CD swung into a more morose mood. They'd been angsty children, hadn't they? Filled with sadness even before they understood how life really was.
Still, Brin had no intention of leaving Phoenix and with their fingers wrapped around each other (in a way she knew Phee had only ever done with Stella before, something else that made Brin just slightly too happy) she didn't think Phoenix had any intention of leaving Brin, either.
They'd never gotten a lot of time like this. Alone, together. Stella was always just around the corner, right next door with her eyes on Phoenix as if she was a possession. And Phoenix, god, Brin could see the same yearning in her eyes that Brin was sure shone in hers when she looked at Braxton.
Love, lust, a mixture of every emotion in the entire world. There was never any doubt that Phoenix loved Stella with every fiber of her being. Losing her other half...Phoenix was stronger than she was. Brin would have curled up to die already.
"So," Phoenix whispered, the rustling of their sleeping bags underneath them as Brin turned her head to gaze in response. "Brax."
"Yeah," she sighed in response, her stomach twisting in a reminder of the rejection she was avoiding facing.
"Weird," Phoenix said after a minute, and the corner of Brin's mouth twisted in a half smirk. Coming from someone else, 'weird' would have been judgmental, shameful. 'Weird' would have meant 'you're a freak', 'you're disgusting', 'why would you tell me that'.
But Phoenix wasn't like that. Not with Brin at least, not with the Oak Ave gang with their layers of secrets. 'Weird' from her meant, well, weird. Which is what the situation was. More of a 'can't believe you kept this secret' than a 'you should be sent away' kind of a phrase.
"Does this mean..."
"What?"
"Are you two gonna, like..."
Brin snorted, rolling her eyes as she turned her attention to the sky above them. "Please," she finally retorted, fighting back the urge to cry. "I can barely talk to him now. He doesn't...I mean, I was crazy to think he would. So I'm moving forward."
"How?" The earnesty in Phoenix's voice seemed to cut to the bone, and Brin swallowed thickly as she pressed a chaste kiss against her friends cheek.
"As soon as I figure it out, I'll tell you," she promised.
It was the least any of them could do for her.
She didn't say anything more, and Brin was comfortable in the silence. As loud and brash as she was, she enjoyed quiet nights. Sometimes all she wanted was a hand to hold and a warm body next to her.
"I miss her."
It was quiet enough that it could have been the wind whispering to them, but Brinley knew what she had heard. It was the closest thing to an acknowledgment, to telling Brin what she really meant.
I love her. The words hadn't been spoken but Brin knew them to be true and she squeezed Phoenix's hand, rolling over to her side and smiling sadly.
"I'm sure she misses you too," she offered, knowing that it was, at any rate, true. Stella loved Phoenix the same way Braxton loved her. More than anyone else, but still not quite...enough. "C'mere," she murmured, and despite her normal reservations, Phoenix rolled into Brin's side, strawberry wine on her breath and the same Dove soap Stella made them all buy years ago on her skin.
Phoenix fell asleep after awhile, the CD player silent beneath them and Brin's hand on her back, her own mind still running. It would never stop, not really, maybe not until she left Ashbourne and started a new life.
But with Phoenix asleep in her arms, how could she think of something like that? How could Stella have left someone who loved her so purely, so trustingly? How could Braxton not see how Brinley had felt all these years, always bubbling over and shown to him? How could Dean pretend he wasn't head over heels for Charlie when she saw the splash of jealousy at parties, Brin in Charlie's lap and Dean wishing he could touch him so brazenly?
They were all just fucked. And right now, it felt like nothing would change.
Phoenix stirred, enough to lay on her back once again but still touching Brin through the thing sleeping bag. And Brin craved the contact, slipping closer, kissing the corner of her mouth with a small 'good night'.
She could have sworn as she laid her head down that she saw the corner of Phoenix's mouth twitch into a smile.
Probably remembering Stella, while Brinley fell asleep dreaming of Brax.
