it’s been a few days since the fight. and chan hated himself for saying those things which he shouldn’t have. regret was an understatement. even the members were aware of the fight since chan kept overworking and refused to go home out of shame. he promised himself that he would always protect you, and he felt himself collapse every time he remembered the fight.
truthfully, you weren’t much better as well. you missed him, you did. and you wished he would come back home sooner but you couldn’t muster the courage to say that to him. you knew he would be beating himself up for the fight, even though part of it was your fault as well. you agreed with it.
your heart leaped out of your throat when chan stood on the door, holding a bouquet of roses. and although he tried to do his best to smile, it immediately turned into a sob when he saw you.
“i’m so sorry baby. so so sorry,” he hiccuped, and rested his face on your shoulder and closed his eyes in relief, when he felt your familiar arms wrap around his torso and held him close.
“it’s not your fault entirely. it was mine as well,” you hushed out and pressed a kiss on his head, feeling him cry harder at this.
pulling away, he leaned his forehead to yours and let out a weak chuckle.
wiping away your tears he muttered, “god i love you so much.”
you giggle softly and press a kiss on his nose, “i love you more mr bang.”
౨₊ৎ minho
you laid face down on the bed, with hot tears spilling down. it had been two hours since the fight, but yet minho didn’t once dare to apologise. your eyes burned so much that it hurt.
a knock breaks you out of your session. with a hesitant step minho enters the room and feels his heart ache upon your state. gulping the lump forming in his throat he walks closer but gets shoved away when you stand up and push him out of the room out of anger. and he lets you. knowing he deserved it. his eyes show pain but he doesn’t stop you and finally looks down at you in the eye.
“minho you’ve said enough, please leave me alone for some time,” the moment the door slammed in his face, he dropped to his knees and let his tears flow.
“i’m s-sorry. i really am,” he whispered, leaning his head against the door and wiped away the tears but they kept flowing continuously.
“i didn’t mean to i swear,” his voice kept cracking but he tried to continue in hopes you could hear the despair and desperation in his tone.
“i feel horrible for hurting you kitten, i mean it. and even though i tend to appear closed off, i love you so much, i really do,” upon hearing his voice you had to bite your lips to muffle the sob threatening to escape.
sure you were angry at him. but you couldn’t just let him cry his eyes out on that cold floor. about 15 minutes later, with soft steps you opened the door and looked down at him. he was hugging his knees close to his chest, and looked so. . . lonely.
his eyes practically shone upon seeing you, but it disappeared when reality hit him that he was the one who caused this. he raised himself up, and slowly and very hesitantly wrapped his arms around you. he pulled you in his embrace and tucked your head in his chest, letting you cry. letting you release your anger at him.
he would do anything if it means he gets you back. if he can erase the mistake he made.
“i won’t ever let my anger control me. i promise,” he mumbled and you smiled softly. you believed him. his words held sincerity and so did his eyes.
you were just glad to know he would try his best to not let this occur again.
౨₊ৎ changbin
the next few days passed by a blur. you were doing your best at ignoring changbin and hoping he would realise his mistake. which he did all too soon.
“hey,” he greets you with a soft smile but receives silence which makes his smile falter but he tries to stay happy for you.
then he proceeds to tell you about his day but the moment you begin to get up, he can feel those silver tears dripping down.
he clutches the hem of your shirt in your hand, and backhugs you. leaning his forehead on your back he mutters, “don’t punish me like this anymore. i can’t t-take it. i’m very sorry baby. please. i promise to take you on dates weekly now, will that work?” his clutches your shirt tighter and forces you to turn around.
he lets out a soft scoff when he sees the tears on your face as well. cupping your face he mutters, “i’ll plan the dates from now on. you don’t need to. and i’ll reach an hour early if you want,” your chuckle makes him smile as well. with a soft sigh he presses his lips on your forehead making you breathe out in relief. war is over. finally. and you couldn’t be more thankful.
౨₊ৎ hyunjin
every day of his tour, hyunjin video called you for at least 2 hours. and you almost felt guilty for taking up that much time but then he reassured you that nothing’s wrong. wrong turned right. and his sincerity turned stronger if possible. he began showing you his love subtly and more often.
“i really am sorry,” he murmurs, twisting his head a bit to kiss the skin of your arm closest to him. “i hate fighting. didn’t mean to make you upset.”
he sat on the bed with you in his lap and hugged you tightly as if you would disappear if he let you go.
“hyunie, i’m not going anywhere you can let go of me now,” you laughed when you saw him whine and childishly shake his head in denial.
“no. never. do you not love me anymore?” his dramatic tone almost makes you laugh out loud but you decide to play along.
with a soft gasp you mutter, “that’s impossible! i love artist hyunjin so much.”
he blushes upon the nickname and looks at your hands intertwined with his.
raising it in the hair he smiles at the sight, “doesn’t this look like a perfect sight? which means we are perfect for each other.”
tackling you down to bed with hands poking your sides you giggled, and maybe it was just time he needed to take out for you.
౨₊ৎ han
“look what i got!” he yelled out loud, wiggling the plastic bag in his hands as he made his way over to you.
passing him a blank stare, you turn your head and continue watching the drama. you feel him sit beside you. you feel him stare at your face. you feel him shift closer to you till his knees are touching your. you also feel him grab your hand, delicately. you let your eyes wander over your hand and watch him touch your index finger, trace patterns which are out of nowhere and suddenly you’re snapped back by his soft sigh.
“i’m terribly sorry– i’m not asking you to forgive me, not that you would this sooner as i may or may not, no i may have committed the biggest mistake of my life by treating you that way. and i swear it may sound funny to you but i literally panicked when those words left my mouth. i felt like beating the shit out of myself because i still can’t believe that my own mouth could even utter words like that–” his words get cut off when you wrap your arms around his neck, practically choking him but he doesn’t care. a huge grin spreads across his face as he brings you closer to him.
he looks into your eyes as he says the next words, “i promise i’ll be a better version of myself. for you.”
౨₊ৎ felix
you drag yourself into felix and chan’s dorm building and sigh for upteempth time. it felt weird to come here with this unexpected reason. but you had to. you had to apologise to him and mend the things between the two of you before the matters took a toll for the worse. the door opens and there you see hyunjin, still rubbing his eyes. he must’ve probably woken up now, you let your gaze wander behind him, trying to find any hints of lee felix. but there’s none. though you do wonder what hyunjin is doing here. you bite your lip to stop yourself from asking that question and instead focus on felix.
“he’s in the kitchen,” hyunjin rasps out after having seemingly read your thoughts which makes you flush about how you were like an open book to him. walking into the kitchen you find felix whisking the eggs with all his strength and even managing to spill some out.
“lixie,” your voice comes off even weaker than you expected. but felix’s head snaps in your direction and only then do you notice his state. his dishevelled hair, flour stains on his cheeks and dried tears that break your heart. without letting him speak anything you crumble into his arms and hold him tightly.
“i’m sorry! i’m so sorry, my sunshine. i misunderstood you entirely. and i– god i just did the biggest mistake letting you walking like that,” and when you don’t feel his arms wrap around you, you pull back just to see him trying to control his tears. he doesn’t want to appear weak in front of you and that breaks your heart even more.
“it’s okay lixie,” was the last straw before he buried his head in the crook of your head and let himself go. lose all control of his emotions till he doesn’t have anything to hide. and at that moment, you swore you could feel at utter peace.
౨₊ৎ seungmin
you feel the bed dip beside you but you stay still, laying on your side with your eyes closed and pretending to be asleep. he lets out a soft sigh at something you can’t see and you resist the urge to turn around and observe him.
slowly, you feel arms pull you close to his chest and although you try to struggle, it’s of no use. he just hugs you tighter.
“i’m sorry. i really am,” his breath fans your neck as you speak and you try your very best to stay still and forgive him. but that wall cracks the moment you feel something damp against your shoulder.
you turn to look at him as he tries to hide himself but he’s too late. and now he’s afraid whether you’ll forgive him, judge him or throw him out. but he’s surprised when he feels you hug him and whisper it’s okay. his arms automatically wrap around you and he truly feels it. it’s okay.
౨₊ৎ jeongin
your phone keeps vibrating from jeongin’s texts and you try your best to ignore him until you see him walk on the road, looking like a lost kid searching for his mother. his eyes are red and puffy from crying and his throat probably aches too from asking random people about you.
you frown at the side and for some reason you can feel your heart ache. why? you’re not sure why. weren’t you supposed to stay angry at him until he begs for forgiveness? then why are your legs taking you to him? until you’re standing right in front of him and panting.
his eyes shine, but with sorrow and remorse. he tries to wipe his tears. tries to hide the fact as if he wasn’t just searching for you all around like a desperate person, but he fails. he looks down at his feet, unable to meet your eyes and feels the tears drip down his chin and on to the floor.
various words escape his mouth, some stuttered, some muffled while some he chose to say in his mind. but the only sentence you were able to understand was that he is sorry. and that he loves you and will wait until you forgive him.
he finally looks up, and he swore that he could’ve seen your lips lift and finally he could breathe normally again.
If you enjoyed this, have not read it but would like to, or simply want something similar to read, I am rewriting this story with a bigger plot, better characters, and more to love right here!
That being said, this story is unfinished and will remain as is.
(but hey definitely check out the new one with almost the same plot but better)
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In the end, he managed to forget that a king is nothing without his queen.
-
~
Part 1, 2, 3, & 5 will be linked in the master list above!
Pairings: Jeongin x Reader (and some love triangles among the way.) enemies to lovers, royalty au!
Warnings: ANGST, implied smut, war, aggression, anxiety, depression, death, please let me know if i miss anything... (this was heavily inspired by the song “Let the world burn” by Chris Grey.
Word Count: 3.8k??
~
After Minho had been in Rexerum court for two weeks, he understood the gist. You and Felix thought him the ins and outs, you'd caught him up with everything you could tell him that you hadn't already told on the weekly letters you'd sent to him.
Now, he was prepared to join court, not as an outsider, but as your ally. You were nothing but grateful. Yet, you were scared. Minho was the head of guards. He would not stand for Jeongin's disrespect. You considered warning him, but at this point, you'd much rather see him make decisions on his own, rather than to be influenced by you.
You, Felix, and Minho stand outside of the council doors, before the guards.
"Alright Min, welcome to Rexerum." You give him a humorless chuckle before the guards open the doors for the three of you, you standing in front, with the two following close behind.
Jeongin nods to the new invitee at court. Chan had told him that you needed support from home, and he just waved it off.
However, he couldn't help but wonder... Why did you need help from Eldoria? Were you that upset here?
Minho bowed before the king, "Your majesty, I am Lee Minho, head of Eldorian guards. At your service." To which Jeongin nodded in acknowledgment.
You took your usual spot beside your husband, Felix next to you and Minho next to him. Then, the king began to speak.
"There are words that Aurora's troops are heading towards our borders. We need assistance." Immediately, the king makes eye-contact with Minho.
"What may you suggest King Jeongin?" Minho asks with no hesitation.
Jeongin clears his throat before he proceeds, "As our countries are united-" The king gets interrupted before he can finish his sentence, "Are they?" Minho asks challengingly.
"I beg your pardon?" The king asks offendintely as the rest of the council looks to the ground so they can hide their expressions.
Minho continues, "I am saying, that our lands are united, yet, I have seen my men put their lives on the line for your country, but Eldoria has received nothing but empty promises from you. My king." The last two words come with a bite. You know when Minho is angered, and it seems as if he held that anger in until he saw the king face-to-face.
"I am your king! You shall not disrespect me in such way."
"I am a citizen of Eldoria. YN is my princess, my future queen. You are nothing but her husband. I would love to see you try to lead MY troops without me. Go ahead, King." You stare at Minho in pure astonishment. You are used to him speaking this way in your home country, but not to strangers. He could lose his head if you weren't there to protect him.
"You will not disrespect me in my own court!" The king begins, but your best friend put some sense into you.
"Our court!" You intercept. "This is our court Jeongin. Not yours. Do not talk down to my men. Anything Lee Minho says, I will stand behind. So take his words as mine. Do not undermine us." The council stays silent beyond that.
Minho speaks up first. "Well how about we send our leaders forward," The room stands still, "Send our strongest troops, we can take out their disposable troops. Aurora is desperate, like you are." Jeongin looks away at his words, mad, but listening. "I am willing to stand in front. As the head of troops, I refuse to let my soldiers sacrifice themselves before me, and with all due respect, I cannot even see you as a man if you cannot say the same."
"I am a king." Jeongin stands tall.
"Then show us, your highness."
Jeongin scoffs. He takes a glance at Chan before he makes eye-contact with you. "I will stand in front of my troops. So be it Lee Minho, let's both stand with our best troops against theirs."
Minho hides a smile with a cough. Only you and Felix can see his smugness. "Let's proceed with a plan then."
~
The plan was set, in less than two weeks, the troops, king, and one of your best friends, would be heading out for war.
It terrified you, not much for Jeongin, but for Minho. As aggressive and stubborn as he is, you know that he will lay out his life on the line for a cause. Although it is selfish and childish for a queen, you don't want him to be selfless. You want him to be safe.
All the stress in planning and affairs leads you back to your safe space.
However, you did not expect for your safe space to be invaded by the vermin that is the king.
"What are you doing here?" You ask, before he notices your presence.
He doesn't seem shaken, "This is my garden."
"Ours."
He chuckles to himself, "Have you come to challenge me once again?"
"Challenge you? Hardly. I have far more important matters to attend to than to waste my time on petty disputes with you." You turn to leave, but his voice stops you before you could take a few steps.
Without turning to face you, he continues, "Oh, of course. How could I forget? Your "important matters" always seem to conveniently align with undermining my authority."
"Is this what is all about? Your authority?" You scoff, "Your ego is as grand as your castle walls, yet just as fragile."
Jeongin finally stands to face you, "Fragile? You think my rule is fragile? You underestimate me, my dear. I am the king! The foundation upon which this kingdom stands."
Now that he faces you, you have a reason to challenge him, "And yet, your kingdom trembles beneath the weight of your tyranny."
A king and a queen with their own birthright may be the worst combination, neither of you were willing to back down.
He laughs incredulously at your statement. "Tyranny? Is that what you call it? My perfect rule. My loyal followers. The strength of my country. Is this what you call tyranny?!"
You held your head high before him, "You mistake fear for respect. A true leader earns the loyalty of their people, not demands it"
For a second, Jeongin hesitates, almost as a loss for words, but he recovers quickly, "Loyalty is earned through strength, not weakness. And weakness is something you seem to know all too well."
Why must he always this that way? Why is everything strength and terror to him? Why should the world be lead with an iron fist?
"Strength is not measured by the length of one's sword, but by the compassion in one's heart."
That earns you a hearty laugh from the king. "Compassion? You speak of compassion as if it were a weapon. But mark my words, queen, in this game of thrones, compassion is a luxury we cannot afford."
Done with the conversation, you approach the roses in the garden, hoping to grab a few before you gather yourself to your chambers.
As always, the king interrupts you, this time he holds your wrist in his hand.
His hand on yours brings electricity to your joints. You hadn't touched your husband in such a way since your wedding night. All the walls that you built specifically for him, seemed to shake with a mere touch.
What happened to the anger you had? It is most likely still be there, but the delusions you'd built since childhood, couldn't help but poke their heads through the cracks.
You have to hold your heart aside, "Is that everything you have to say?"
"What do you mean?" He always speaks with you as if it were an inconvenience so why is he, all of the sudden, acting as if he cared for what your opinions were.
He fixes his collar and continues to speak, "Well, you've been so outspoken at our councils. Where did your backbone go? Now you have a chance to talk to me face to face. Why don't you show me the real you?"
That makes you laugh out loud.
"You've known the real me. Before all of this bullshit. Before we even met." Your words leave bewildered.
"What?"
You try to remove your wrist from his hold, but his fist remains strong.
"Did you forget my letters or something?" You ask indignantly. "Let me go." You demand.
"Letters?" His grip weakens.
You pull your hand to your chest, finally leaving his grip. "The letters I sent you every damn week! Do not act like a fool! You have known of me since I was a child." You drop the flowers in your hands and glare at him one last time. "Do not be a pawn in a game of king and queens."
You walk away before you could hear his last words to you.
" I never received a letter from you..."
~
"I'm bored." Minho says as he opens your doors, disrupting you and Felix from your intense chess game.
"That's tragic." You say, still in deep concentration.
"I don't understand how the two of you have been twiddling your thumbs inside of these four walls for a year." He walks towards your window and opens the curtains. "Let's go horse riding, yeah?"
Without looking up, Felix responds. "Lady Rose and the king take their daily horse ride at this time." Which makes you roll your eyes in annoyance. How did you end up second to a mistress? The Eldorian princess you once were would laugh at your predicament.
Minho laughs, "Then let's ruin their little date."
"Minho, you know things in court are tense." You back away from the playing board, finally paying attention to your best friend.
He takes his coat off, getting comfortable on your bed, dramatically sighing before he continues, "You know you are the queen right? Did you forget when your mother shut all the castle doors when one of her maids stole her wedding ring?"
You laugh at the memory. "My mother was a bit... irrational at times."
"So why can't you be irrational as well? From what I've learned, the two of you have been sitting as decorations here before I showed up." Minho's words get to you, but he doesn't understand Rexerum court yet. Things don’t work the same as they were back home, affairs are handled in silence. You have to keep your cards to yourself.
Unlike you, Felix gets drawn up with his childhood friend. "What do you suggest Min?"
Minho sits up, mischievously. "I say, we show them a bit of Eldoria while I'm here. Since you spineless ducks can't stand up for yourselves, I say we show them how to have fun." He looks at you and Felix, hoping one of the two would catch his bait.
You and Felix exchange doubtful looks, but before you could say anything to back out, your advisor speaks up. "I say we do it. It would be nice to show them what we're made of." Felix's courage catches you off guard, but he'd been acting weird lately, so his decision only shocks you in the slightest.
Before you know it, the three of you run down to the cellar. You probably look out of place. Running like children through guards and servants all staring at you in bewilderment. Felix and Minho wearing their usual suits and gems, as you run with them in a full gown, beige silk that you have to pick up in order to not trip on your skirt. Your laughs echo through the halls.
Before you know it, the three of you are sitting in a dark corner, seeing who could stomach the most wine.
It may not have been the best decision, but you felt safe with the two of them. No matter what happened, they'd have your back.
With slurred words, Minho masks, "Wait, wait," You and Felix stop your giggles to listen to what he has to say. "So all the letters the king sent you... they were written by the queen?"
You put your wine glass down in frustration. "That's what Chan said."
"Why do you believe him?" Minho asks.
"Why wouldn't I?"
Minho downs the rest of his glass, "Because it seems a bit convenient. Why would the mother of the king care for your feelings? She was a ruler, she knows that matters of diplomacy are above matters of the heart." You and Felix await for further explanation, but Minho seems a bit annoyed that the two of you aren't reading things the same way he is. "Only someone that cares for Jeongin's heart would do such thing."
You and Felix still stare at him waiting for further explanation. "You fucking idiots. Bang Chan wrote those letters. He cares for Jeongin, and what a coincidence that he grew close to YN so quickly."
You were about to dismiss him before he continued, "I am just saying, as a fellow strategist, that's what I would have done."
Maybe it was the alcohol induced boldness, but you couldn't help yourself. "Why don't we go ask him then?" Before either of the two could stop you, you run to the king's chambers, Felix and Minho close behind. Felix trying to stop you, and Minho ready for the show.
Jeongin's guards immediately stop you at his door, "I apologize your highness, but the king is occupied at this moment."
That typically would have been enough to turn you away, but you lacked shame at that moment, so you would not pass up a moment of courage (foolishness).
"As your queen, I order you to let us through." You say as confidently as possible, despite trying to hold back your laugh at the fact that it all seemed like a game to you.
The guards hesitate before they stand aside, which is enough for you to push forward and throw the chamber doors open.
You first make eye-contact with Rose, who looks outraged. Then, you look at Jeongin, who seems desperate. Usually, you'd try to read the room and asses the situation, but instead, you ignore the tension between the two. Minho suggested to show them Eldorian fun, and that is what you intend to do.
"Lady Rose! Fancy meeting you here. You look lovely, how was your horse riding date today?" You're never so bold, always aiming to stay decent and subtle, it catches her off guard.
"It went... Uhm... Okay?" Is all she could muster in the spot.
"I am so glad. Now, could you go and act your rank with the rest of my ladies? I have to speak with the king." You've never feared her, but at the moment, you no longer chose peace, letting the chaos rise. That may have been Minho's doing, but you accept it gracefully nevertheless.
"Could you please repeat yourself my queen?" She asks challengingly.
"You heard her Rose." The king is the one to intercept, which catches everyone by surprise.
Your lady looks at him incredulously, but when he doesn't budge, she looks at the ground and walks away with a sneer. If looks could kill, you'd be having tea with the grim reaper.
"Now, how should I address this invasion." Jeongin looks at the three of you.
"I could show you a real invasion." Minho whispers to himself, aware that he was still loud enough to be heard by everyone in the room.
"Min." You say in an attempt to calm him down.
However, Jeongin seems unaffected in the slightest. "I just want to know as to why I owe the honor."
Felix has been silent for dangerously too long, but that ended with the alcohol.
"Why are you such a dick?" Minho miserably hides a laugh, but you and Jeongin stare at Felix in shock.
"Felix!" Is all you can say, but your brain is hardly clear enough to say much else.
"I am just voicing what everyone is thinking." Felix pouts and begins to look around the room. "Your chambers are huge my king, why is your wife in such shit chambers?"
"Are your chambers not up to your standards?" The king disregards Felix and walks straight to you.
"Don't disregard me!" His deeps voice booms through the king's chambers. Everyone stills. Felix switched from your giggly friend to a headstrong man in a blink of an eye. For a second, he resembles the king, and the thought scares you.
"The queen is fucking perfect and you are an idiot to ignore her. You are a shit king to a kingdom that is two seconds from falling apart. You are foolish to sleep with other women. You want to know what I think? Even though you may not even remember my name. I think that you are distracting yourself from reality in the hands of another, too foolish to see that you were handed by the world, and you are rejecting it for a life in purgatory." He walks towards the king, standing a couple of inches away from his face. "Tread carefully my king. You never know when your world may flip upside down." A staring contest begins between the two men. Felix bold on alcohol, and Jeongin high on power. As you stare at them in complete astonishment, Minho is the first to gather his senses.
"Alright Lix, time to go."
When Minho grabs the younger man's shoulder, Felix only shakes him off. "Minho, you wanted to show Rexerum our colors, here are mine." He grabs Jeongin by the collar, "Stand with YN as a man, otherwise, I will."
Jeongin pushes him away in outrage, but before he could say anything, Minho stands in front of Felix.
"Forgive him my king." Like always, the last word is hard for him to say. "He has had a little too many drinks, allow me to take him away. Please forgive him." He quickly drags Felix away without interacting with the king more than he had to.
Even you are at a loss of words.
"What do you have to say?" Jeongin asks.
"Absolutely nothing. You should be aware that I stand behind my countrymen." You feel out of place, about to follow your friends out of the room.
"What the hell?" Jeongin stops you before you walk out. "What did Felix mean by that?"
"I do not understand what you are talking about." Your hands rest by on your sides. Awkwardly trying to figure out what to do in the strange room. A year of being Jeongin's wife meant nothing now.
"He practically confessed his love to you." Your husband stares at you, awaiting a reaction.
"Why does it matter to you?"
He walks towards you and puts his hands on your shoulders. "You are my wife." He says as if it meant anything.
You couldn't help but to laugh at him. "Yeah and Rose is your lover."
"Why does it matter to you all of the sudden? Jeongin asks as he walks towards his closet, seeking something more comfortable.
"It matters because you have no say in what I do or who I get involved with. It is not as if you were a decent husband."
As he grabs his robe he responds, "Then what do you want from me"
"I want you to respect me, as your queen, not your wife. I do not care for your affection anymore."
He stares at you, maybe in bewilderment. "Are the servants not respectful enough here?" He questions.
"The servants are perfect. The one who lacks is my own husband, the king. Forgive me if I am blunt, but as your wife, I will say, you are nothing to me." He seems offended by your words, almost confused.
"I am nothing to you?!"
~
A/N: Turns out, I'm a liar - one more part to go lol
