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It had barely been two days since her mom’s death.
Her dad was still undergoing his T.A.H.I.T.I. operation.
They weren’t supposed to already be getting attacks from Inhumans, not so soon.
Didn’t they ever take any R&R?
Skye still wasn’t at her best. Not at all. She hadn’t had any time to recover, grieve, as Coulson had called it before she was back in the field, but there hadn’t been a choice. No one on the team had any experience with any Inhumans, but there were no other options, and she had assured Coulson that she was able to handle it.
Now she was worried that she wouldn’t be able to.
The S.H.I.E.L.D. team sent to investigate the potential Obelisk were Hunter, who was watching through the scope of a sniper rifle while Mack stood by, an extra hand in case things got bad and also in charge of extraction. On the ground were Skye, Bobbi, Kara, or who Skye had previously known as Agent 33, and of course, Grant Ward, his shining silver bracelet illuminated on his wrist as if a beacon in the darkness.
Skye still didn’t know how to act around him. It had been a couple of days since she had made her way into his bunk, an alcohol soaked mind thinking it was a good idea, and it was impossible for her to act like how she had before around him. Something had changed between them, and she was sure that at least a few of the team had noticed it. She found herself actively seeking him out for things, just yesterday almost the whole team had watched as she sat down across from Ward at the table in the Playground, not saying a word as she dove into her sandwich. She still remembered the betrayal that had been shining in Simmons’ eyes as she stormed out of the room and had immediately felt wracked with guilt. The only thing that had kept her in her seat was the little corner of Ward’s lips that had turned up, and the thanks echoed in his eyes. As much as she had hated Simmons’ reaction and felt horrible about it, she couldn’t deny that some part of her still needed Grant Ward. She still needed the comfort that only he could provide her. She loathed it, and she didn’t. It was complicated and made her head hurt just thinking about it.
“Skye, you good?” Bobbi asked, but Skye’s eyes were only on Ward’s as they prepared to enter the building.
“Yeah, fine,” Skye replied brusquely.
Bobbi nodded and moved ahead of her to converse with Kara while Skye focused on checking her I.C.E.R. to make sure everything looked good. She was trying so hard to focus she didn’t even notice his presence until he was already right behind her.
“Are you feeling as off as I am about this?” He asked.
Skye’s whole body froze at his words. Oh god. She was not ready to talk about this. Especially not today and probably never. “Is this really the best time to be talking about us, Ward?” She muttered, decidedly not looking at him even as her hands shook slightly while she fiddled with her I.C.E.R.
Ward didn’t speak for what seemed like one of the longest moments in her life, and when he did, his tone was almost . . . amused, and he spoke as if he was talking to a child. “Skye . . . I was talking about the mission.”
“Oh . . .” Skye breathed. Her face went bright red, and she hoped that he couldn’t see even though she knew it was pointless.
“I just think it’s too quiet. Something about this doesn’t sit well with me.” Ward said, and she finally looked up at him to find him glancing around the buildings surrounding them, assessing points of interest and possible threats, just like he had taught her to do.
“Maybe you’re just being paranoid.” She replied, but she couldn’t deny, now that she had mentioned it, she had definitely felt a little . . . uneasy about this mission since the moment they had set foot on the ground.
He raised his eyebrows at her, gave her a look, keeping his eyes locked on her for a moment before speaking again. “Yeah, maybe you’re right,” he said simply before pushing past her.
Skye bit her lip before following him.
Of course about five minutes later, the whole team was surrounded by Inhumans.
“You know, if you had just listened to me -”
“Now is not the time for ‘I told you so’s!” Skye yelled at him, dodging a punch and kicking the legs out from under her attacker while she was down. “Now duck!”
He did so without question, and Skye immediately shot at the Inhuman behind him. “Thanks!”
Before she could form a response, and before he could do more than that, he was under attack from another Inhuman, and Skye was occupied with hands around her feet dragging her across the floor. Immediately she kicked out, her boot knocking into the attacker’s chin, the force of it kicking him back as well. One she recognized from the S.H.I.E.L.D. boat. “Oh god, you again,” she groaned, shifting to her feet quickly.
He snarled at her. “Had to get justice for Jiaying. After all it’s your fault she’s dead isn’t it?”
The words caught Skye unaware, and he used the distraction to aim a punch at her that she tried to dodge, but still managed to catch her shoulder. It was painful, but she didn’t have time to hesitate, kicking the stomach of him and causing him to back up a bit. “She was starting a war. I had to stop her.” Skye insisted though she didn’t know why she was trying to reason with him.
“What makes you think we don’t need a war?” He growled and tried to run towards her again, but she managed to avoid him this time. “You S.H.I.E.L.D. people run around here acting like you’re in charge of us. Like you’re better than us when we’re the evolved species. Yet they’re the ones so terrified of us they experiment on us . . . take our blood . . . they’ll never understand you.” He insisted.
Skye couldn’t let herself focus on his words. She couldn’t let herself be more distracted than she already was. “They understand me just fine.”
He shook his head at her, almost as if he felt sorry for her. “Then why aren’t you using your powers? I’ll tell you, it’s because you’re scared about how they’ll react once they see them. I mean they didn’t react so well when you first got them did they?”
Something about what he said, she wasn’t sure what it was, set her off. She threw her hands out, and the Inhuman crashed into the wall behind them with a bang. He didn’t move anymore, blood rushing down his forehead. Skye felt the woman running towards her before she heard the screech she let out as she tried to attack Skye. This time Skye didn’t attempt to move out of her way, no, instead Skye grabbed her. She could feel every vibration in her body, the blood pounding through her veins, her pulse rushing, and the beat of her heart. That’s the one that Skye focused on. She brought all her energy into that deep thump, thump that meant she was alive. Blood rushed through Skye’s ears as she concentrated, and it was almost as if there was water in her ears. Everything sounded muffled, everything except the pounding of the other woman’s heart as Skye sped it up rapidly, too rapidly, and Skye kept her eyes locked on the woman as she dug her nails into Skye’s arm, trying desperately to catch breath that would never come.
She only came back because she felt hands gripping her shoulders, and almost immediately a blast went through her sending her victim, and the person who had just grabbed her shoulders, back. It shook her out of her trance though, and Skye went to her knees, staring at the dead woman in front of her before another voice caught her attention. “Grant!” Skye looked up just in time to see Kara running past her, and she turned to see where she was going, covering her mouth in horror as she saw Ward on the ground several feet away, wincing as he tried to readjust his leg to the awkward angle that he had fallen on it. Skye quickly scampered over, noticing that the fight had ended, and the few Inhumans remaining had scattered, and squatted by Ward’s other side, reaching for his arm and squeezing it. “Oh, God, Ward I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what happened, I just -”
“How come every time he ends up going on a mission that you’re involved in he ends up almost getting killed?” Kara hissed at her, wrapping Ward’s arm around her shoulder and helping him to his feet, glaring daggers at Skye.
Skye’s mouth opened, but she had no response, so she just watched as Kara helped Grant hop away.
------------
Grant’s leg was broken in two places, and it was her fault. It was her fault because she lost control. This was exactly what everyone on the team had been terrified of her doing, and that’s exactly what she did. She lost control and put one of their team in danger, although she was pretty sure no one was upset that it was Ward other than Kara, but they knew if it could be Ward, it could be any one of them.
She wanted to go see him. She wanted to apologize to him again, tell him it wasn’t like last time. She honestly hadn’t intended to hurt him, but at the same time, she couldn’t bring herself to move off the couch that she had been laying on for about three hours now. She liked the couch. It was cramped, leather, mostly uncomfortable, but if she closed her eyes, she could imagine that she was laying down in her van. Back when everything, though stunningly complicated, was strangely simple at the same time. She didn’t have guilt like she had now. Guilt over Ward, guilt over the Inhumans she had killed without another thought, and just so, so . . . upset about how everything had turned out.
Were things ever going to get easier?
Skye grabbed a pillow and covered her face with it, wanting to scream, but obviously it was no help, and just messed with her concentration so much she didn’t even notice someone else was in the room until they had gently moved her feet up on the couch, making room as they set down beside her. Skye removed the pillow even though she already knew who it was.
“Kinda surprised you didn’t come to see your handiwork.” Ward told her as he propped his cast bound leg on the table in front of them.
Skye sat up, tucking her legs under her as she watched him, a sad look on her face. “Grant, I’m so sorry, you have to know I wasn’t trying to -”
Ward cut her off before she could say anything else. “Relax, Skye, I know you didn’t mean to do it, and I wanted to say sorry for Kara’s reaction. She’s just kinda . . . overprotective.” Ward added.
“Well, she has been taking care of you for a long time . . . and I guess since it was me that made it worse.” Skye admitted, wrapping her arms around herself.
“You did shoot me.” Ward replied, shrugging his shoulders.
“Yet, you still helped Coulson try and find me. Why?” Skye asked, watching him curiously.
Ward didn’t reply for a long time. He just kept his eyes locked on her, almost as if he was memorizing every part of her face. It made her face flush, and she looked down at the ground, almost embarrassed by the intensity of his gaze. “I’ll always come to find you.” He said finally. “I owe you that much.”
Skye didn’t know why, but the words tore at her heart. “That’s it? Because you owe me?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Are you denying that I don’t?”
“No, definitely not,” Skye said, biting her bottom lip before she finally turned her gaze away, back to the blank TV set in front of them, “but you should probably stop or your girlfriend might get jealous.” Skye had no idea where that last quip came from, and immediately felt blood rise in her cheeks again, looking anywhere but at Ward.
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Grant said simply.
That caused Skye to pause slightly in her current fidgeting with the hemline of her shirt. “Oh, she’s not?”
“No, we had . . . something, but I thought it was best to end it. It wasn’t the same for me as it was for her.” He added even though she didn’t ask.
She wanted to ask more. She wanted to ask what he meant by that, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that she cared. Sure, she didn’t hate him anymore, but she didn’t still feel that way about him. She couldn’t. It would only end in disaster. Skye almost sighed in relief as he started speaking again.
“And as much as I’m sure you’re eager to talk about my love life . . . I don’t think that’s why you’re curled up here avoiding everyone.” Ward said, adjusting his leg slightly on the table.
When it comes to Grant Ward, there had always been so many questions in Skye’s mind. So many things that she had wanted to ask of him that she had never taken the opportunity for because she had been scared of the answers. When he had escaped from his brother, she found herself wondering why she had never asked those questions, and when she had shot him . . . she wondered once again why she never had. Once he had returned to the team, Skye promised herself she would never miss the opportunity again, and that’s why the question came tumbling out of her lips. “Why aren’t you scared of me?”
Ward didn’t even act like it was a serious question. “Should I be?”
Skye gave him an incredulous look, shaking her head. “I broke your leg. In two places. Just because you touched me at the wrong time. Of course you should be scared of me. Everyone should be.” She insisted.
“I’m not,” Ward said, “I know you don’t want to hurt people, Skye. You’ve never liked to do it. Do you remember that first time you went on a solo mission? And you ended up jumping into a pool instead of pulling the trigger?”
“I’m also the same girl who shot you three times.” Skye said.
“Four actually,” Ward corrected her.
“Four times. I’m good at hurting people, Ward. I’m not that girl anymore. I was practically born into it.” Skye said, biting her lip as she thought back on her family.
Ward wasn’t as bad about touching her anymore. She never stopped him, just like now when he reached out and placed his hand on her knee. “Skye . . . your parents weren’t . . . I don’t think they were that bad.” He said, struggling to find words.
“My dad killed who knows how many people, and my mom tried to start a war between the Inhumans and S.H.I.E.L.D. The only two families I’ve ever known. How is that ‘not bad’?” She asked. God, Ward must really be losing it.
“So, have I. Well, not the Inhumans part, but the killing lots of people, and he had a cause that was more noble than mine.” Ward told her. “Are you scared of me?” He asked, watching her carefully.
“No,” Skye answered without a second thought.
Ward almost seemed surprised by her answer. “Why not?” He asked curiously.
Honestly, Skye didn’t really know the answer to his question right off hand. It took her a few moments of looking into those eyes before she could really voice her reasons. “I don’t – I just don’t think that you’d ever hurt me. Physically at least.” She added, looking down at the ground again so she didn’t have to see his expression at her words.
“Because you know I care about you.” Ward said simply, ignoring all of her words for what he knew was the truth. “People can do . . . crazy things for the people they care about.”
“Like you did for Garrett?” Skye couldn’t stop the question from leaving her lips. This was the first time since she was handcuffed to the bus that she had ever brought him up, but his words almost required her to bring up the topic.
Ward smiled wryly at her.
“I almost . . . I almost left S.H.I.E.L.D. for my mom, you know?” Skye didn’t know why she said it. She hadn’t said a single word to anyone about it actually. She figured that some of her friends knew about it, since the fight with May, but she had never told them she almost had. “I spent so long searching for her. I think I just wanted to do anything I could to please her. To be the daughter that she wanted. I know I had a family here. A life. This was different though. Then I started bonding with Cal which I never thought would happen, and I wanted that family. I tried to be selfish and have both. Then I realized I could only have one. It was either going to be blood or S.H.I.E.L.D., and I just thought . . .” Skye looked up at Ward through her blurry eyes, willing the tears to go away. “I couldn’t give up what I’d been looking for my whole life so easily. Not when I was just getting to know them.”
Skye didn’t even flinch as she felt Ward’s hand reaching for hers, twisting his palm over to entwine his long fingers with hers. Her gaze moved to look at their hands, noting how . . . strange they looked, Ward’s big hand practically hiding her whole entire hand in his grasp.
She let out a sigh before continuing her story. “I was actually going to my mom to tell her I was joining her side. I was going to stay with the Inhumans and fight with them, and then I saw her kill Raina. She just . . . slashed her throat right there because Raina had seen what she had done. She could see the future you know? It’s kind of ironic. She spent so long searching and working for the Clairvoyant to try and figure out what she was going to become, and she turned out to be one herself only to enjoy the powers for a couple of weeks.” A humorless laugh escaped her lips, and Ward squeezed her hand.
“Skye . . . I didn’t met your mom. I didn’t know anything about her, but I did spend time with your Dad, and I’ve got to say, I’ve never seen someone so dedicated to something in their life.” Skye looked up at those words, her brow furrowed in confusion. “I know you think it’s horrible how he slaughtered that whole village, and yeah, it was, but I was here when Coulson was talking to him. He did those things because he loved your mother. He had just put Jiaying back together, and they had both lost you. He would do anything to get you back and keep your mom happy, and I can’t say I don’t know what that feels like. Not to that extent of course. I’ve never had a kid,” Ward added quickly at her expression. “But I’ve cared about someone so much I’d do anything to keep them happy.” He said, “and . . . you might disagree with me, but I don’t think that makes someone a bad person.”
The moment seemed to last for hours. The two of them just sat there, almost as if trying to read everything they wanted to say into each other’s eyes. They hadn’t had a moment like this since he held his hand out to her that night in his bunk. She felt in then too. They were at a tipping point. They were at a point in this . . . thing that she had always had with Ward where she was going to have to make a decision much like she had that night. She was going to have to push past her fear of getting even more emotionally attached to him and give him a chance. A chance he had been wanting to explain himself. The only question she had to ask herself now was if it was worth the risk. If the possibility of letting Grant Ward back into her life fully was a good one or a bad one.
Really, it didn’t seem like much of a decision at all.
“Tell me about Garrett.”
Ward looked startled at her question. “I’m sorry?”
“I want you to tell me about Garrett. How he got you to follow him. How he got you to leave me . . . and us behind.” Skye said, keeping their hands attached as she leaned back against the arm rest of the couch, as if settling in for a long story, which she figured it would be.
He just looked at her in disbelief. “Now? You want to know my story now? Why?”
Skye shrugged her shoulders as she looked at him. “Maybe I just feel bad for breaking your leg. Or maybe you know how you said one day I’d understand?”
Ward nodded.
“Maybe that day’s today.” Skye told him, not being able to hide her smile from the radiating one that appeared on Ward’s face.
Title : Missing Pieces
Rating : Teen Audiences and Up
Warnings : None
Summary : When you meet the right person - there's a connection. A bond.
When the bond is broken there's this pain like something is missing. Like a part of you is missing.
Read (below) or Ao3 : http://archiveofourown.org/works/4804319
Skye downed another drunk before slamming the cup down before asking for another. It was over - between her and miles - she'd found him cheating on her when she came back. He was with that slut that stayed next door and always flirted with him. Skye felt the tears that she'd been crying before all go away as she took another shot.
"Skye. Stop" Ward pulled her hand down before taking a seat next to her.
Ward had heard all the story about Miles. 'The perfect boyfriend.' Skye always spoke about him and it made him mad. Actually - not mad. Jealous. But he would never admit that, not to Skye at least. He couldn't, she had a boyfriend for gosh sake and she would never feel the same. But the most he could do was be there for her when she needed it.
Skye moaned in protest when Ward took her shot glass away from her. She pouted and it made him want to give him. It honestly took all his might not to.
"He was a jerk Skye. You may have loved him but he never loved you" Ward told her straight out, not wanting to hide the truth from her.
The was the thing to Skye. If he had truly loved him wouldn't she have felt more pain now that they weren't together. She was upset but there was nothing substantial, nothing that made her angry. She was more upset that she wasn't good enough for him. That he had to find someone else.
The more Skye thought about how he cheated on her the more upset she got. People started to stare at her as she cried - she couldn't take any more of the odd looks she ran to the furthest darkest corner of the bar and just sunk down onto the ground sobbing.
"Wasn't I good enough for him?" Skye asked looking at Ward who was kneeling down next to her. An arm wrapped around her body.
"You're beautiful Skye. Miles just never saw that." He told her his eyes shining bright into hers.
"Why do you even care Ward?" Skye looked up at him, her tears slowing down waiting for an answer.
He was silent. She could see that he was struggling for answer. His hand tightened around her shoulder before his eyebrows furrowed.
"Because ... I-I LOVE YOU DAMMIT. And I didn't know how to say it because you were dating Miles and then you weren't and then it got all confusing and I didn't know how to tell you ..." Ward yelled out before standing up leaving Skye, who was still sitting there hugging her knees, on the ground.
Ward looked back down at her. He looked straight into her eyes trying to draw any emotion from her - she didn't say anything. They were both silent. It pained Ward to leave her there, she seemed so fragile, so vulnerable. But it also hurt him to stay. To be close to her, to be near her. Especially now that he'd basically spilled his heart to her.
Ward let out a deep breath before he turned around. He took a few steps before giving one last glance at Skye and leaving. Leaving the bar. Leaving Skye.
Skye just sat there, frozen, as Ward got up. The warmth from his touch left her and she felt cold again. Cold and alone. He stood up and looked straight at her. There was a feeling she got when she was with Ward that she didn't with anyone else. A feeling of trust almost. When Ward took those two steps to walk away Skye felt her heart breaking. It was then that she realized. Realized that all this time it never felt right. Those moments with Miles that should have felt perfect. Those kisses that should have made her want to faint. Those small things that should have made her love him more. They were never there. They were never there because she never really loved him - and she never really loved him because she always loved Ward.
When he turned back around to look at her all she wanted to do was yell to the world that she was in love with Ward but somehow she couldn't. She couldn't find her voice and the further he walked away the more broken Skye felt. It was like a part of her was being ripped apart. She wanted that part back. She needed him back.
Skye pushed herself up from the ground and quickly ran out to find him. When she got outside it was dark and she could barely see anything. She called out his name in hopes that he was still close by but there was no response. It was a risk walking out by herself at night. Skye debated on whether she should or whether she should just wait for tomorrow. But she couldn't wait for tomorrow. She couldn't let Ward think that she didn't love him back ... she needed to find him.
Skye followed her instinct and followed the path to the left. She tried to stay along the streets with streetlamps but the further she walked the darker it seemed to get. She didn't know how long she'd been walking but it was as if she was in a totally different place. She didn't recognize any of the surrounding streets but she didn't really know how to make her way back.
The next thing she knew was that there was someone behind her. They grabbed her around the waist and put another hand on her mouth. Skye's eyes went wide and she panicked. Skye tried to scream but nothing could be heard. It wasn't until she fully realized what was happening that her instincts kicked in. It wasn't hard to Skye to get out of the mans grip. He seemed surprised when Skye twisted his arm and got out of his grip. He was lying on the ground unconscious within a few minutes.
Skye could hear more footsteps approaching she re positioned her stance that Ward had taught her to get ready to fight whoever was coming.
"Skye"
I was Ward.
"Oh. Thank Gosh you're safe." He ran up to her before scooping her up into a hug, "I was so worried.-But I guess I should know that you can take care of yourself. What are you doing out here alone?"
"I was looking for you" Skye answered shyly not wanting to admit it.
"Why?" Ward asked pulling her back so he could see her face before brushing a piece of hair that had fallen out of place.
"Because I realized something. I realized that when you meet the right person - there's a connection. A strong bond. You don't have to be together to feel it but it's there and when it's broken there's this pain like something is missing. Like a part of you is missing. I didn't realize that pain until the person I loved walked away from me." Skye told him honestly.
"I get it ... you love Miles." Ward said harshly before turning to walk away again.
