I don’t think she gets it
I really don’t think she really understands how sad I feel. I try and try to explain and make it known how I feel but she’s just not getting it. It hurts. She’s the only one I tell so much stuff to and yet I still can’t tell her everything. What’s the point? What the point of even trying to call for help when no ones trying to listen? My heart hurts. I’m suffering from a crack that’s only there because no one wants it.
I finally texted that guy. The friend I missed. He still hasn’t responded even though he’s online. She tells me it’s his loss and that there are better friends who actually respond to texts. But I don’t want other friends. I want to talk to him. I miss him so much. I’m so sad. He used to make me so happy. I don’t think I’ve been happy ever since he left- or at least the overpowering, can’t stop smiling way.
There’s another boy that I’ve known for while but don’t know now. He’s far away and will remain that way. I’ve liked him for awhile, probably as long as I’ve know him to be honest. But why do I still like him when I no longer know him? I literally freaking gasped when I saw him. I always thought those books were over dramatic with those reactions. I hate that.
I dunno.
-Rae (Imma start dating these)
11/4/19 @ 8:58PM
