Hi, so I think I have an eating disorder. I starve a lot, but sometimes b/p. I call myself a vegan for ethical reasons, however when I'm b/p-ing I often eat cheese, baked goods, and other dairy products/products containing eggs (never meat though, ever). I just feel out of control when I binge. I never eat animal products outside of a binge, but I feel bad about what I eat during my binges. Should I even call myself a vegan?
I’m so sorry to hear about these difficulties you’ve been having. You are still a vegan, try not to beat yourself up about precisely what it is you are consuming when you are bingeing. When you are in full control, you eat vegan. We can only be judged for actions we freely choose; you don’t choose to binge. You are as vegan as I am or as anyone else is.
In terms of your disordered eating more generally, I would encourage you to seek out help. I would happily offer my own advice, but honestly I think that @slasherbarbie would be a much more helpful person to speak to, she has a lot more knowledge and experience when it comes to recovery and veganism than I do. I have already asked her and she is more than happy for you to reach out to her if you want to. Take care of yourself anon.