Slayers novel 4, chapter 4, differences in translations (part 2 - Lina and Gourry)
Now, let’s go for the REALLY interesting differences in the translations. I’m of course talking about the parts were Lina and Gourry are concerned. I read the J-NOVEL translation of the fight with Kanzel… and it was like I was reading it for the first time. Not because the translation changed the events, not at all, but I think the way everything was written in the J-NOVEL translation made everything more intense.
Some examples:
TOKYOPOP version:
Kanzeil stopped at the entry to the meadow and turned to us. “We have arrived at our destination,” he announced. “The gentleman must now depart and leave us to our business.”
I definitely didn’t want Gourry to go. “Oh, c’mon,” I drawled as convincingly as I could. “Just let him stay. You could beat us both with your hands tied behind your back, right?” Rule Number One for getting an opponent to lose the advantage: stroke his ego.
Kanzeil glared at me with his snakelike yes, then flicked them over to Gourry. “As you wish,” he replied after a moment. “Shall we begin?”
But we were way ahead of him; Gourry and I had already sprinted off across…
J-NOVEL version:
“Now, say your goodbyes to your companion. It’s nearly time.”
We’d reached a clearing – a large green field about the size of a city block. The path…
……
Kanzel stopped in his tracks, finally turning back to me for the first time.
“Nothing to say? No farewell?” he asked.
“I still think I can win,” I answered honestly.
“As you like. Then let us begin.”
Fwsh! On Kanzel’s cue, Gourry and I took off running…
Wait… what? How I wish I could read the originals in Japanese! In the J-NOVEL version Lina states that she thinks she can win and in the TOKYPOP version she almost delivers a whole speech on how Kanzel has the advantage.
TOKYOPOP version:
Kanzeil raised his arm. A magic light, as thin as a thread, shot from one of his fingertips and made a beeline for me.
“Not today!” Gourry boomed. He threw himself in front of me to deflect the beam with his Sword of Light. But just before it came within reach, the magic beam suddenly zigzagged around Gourry and shot right into my legs.
J-NOVEL version:
Kanzel’s arm moved. He turned his hand toward me, shooting four thread-like peals of magical light from his fingers.
“Not a chance!” Gourry shouted, diving in front of me.
He meant to shield me with his own body and cut through the incoming magical blasts with the Sword of Light!
“Gourry!” I cried.
But he stayed put. The magical light, however… Right before it hit him, it changed course!
Ah, if only I had time to dodge –
The four rays circled around Gourry and pierced through my legs! With a silent scream, I fell into the grass.
OMG! This might seriously rival all of my other favorite Lina&Gourry moments! At least, the way it’s written in the J-NOVEL translation. In both translations Gourry throws himself in front of Lina to protect her, but in the TOKYOPOP version you don’t get so much the feeling that Gourry is in grave danger by doing that. However, in the J-NOVEL translation, the words are “to shield me with his own body”, and then she cries his name, obviously scared for him, but he “stayed put”.
TOKYOPOP version:
“What’s wrong?” Kanzeil asked. “You seem disappointed.” His lips contorted into an icy – strike that, crazy – smile.
Disappointed? More like freaked beyond belief, but he was on the right track. I didn’t want to encourage him any more by wincing, so I struggled to my feet with as straight a face as possible. I needed to act, and fast. I probably only had one shot, so I figured I’d put some flavor into it.
“Back off!” Gourry shouted. “What are you trying to do?!”
Uh… kill me! Haven’t you been listening?!
Kanzeil turned his gaze to Gourry. “Do you know what Mazoku consume to live” he asked darkly, his glare…
J-NOVEL version:
“What’s wrong? You don’t seem pleased,” Kanzel said with a cold… no, a crazed smile.
No duh, bro! Who would be happy to hear they were about to be tormented to death?!
At this rate, I didn’t have a second to spare. I had to finish this guy off now, once and for all.
“Stop it! Why are you doing this?” Gourry demanded, fury writ across his face.
“Why?” Kanzel asked while slowly walking towards us. “Do you not know what demons consume to survive?”
Ah… I was stung with a terrible twinge of regret.
Yes! Just yes!! Thank you so much J-NOVEL for not writing about Gourry like an idiot here. In the TOKYOPOP version two things always looked out of place for me. Number one is, why would Kanzel ask Lina “What’s wrong? You seem disappointed”? The translation of J-NOVEL, “You don’t seem pleased” fits better with the situation. And the second thing that looked out of place for me was Gourry asking Kanzel “What are you trying to do?”. The WHAT was bothering me. Because up to this point, with all the events from previous days, it was obvious that someone was trying to kill Lina and that someone was more than probably Kanzel. So, Lina thinks to himself “Uh… kill me! Haven’t you been listening?!, which is not strange, given that Gourry asked “What are you trying to do?”. But now in the J-NOVEL version, the question starts with WHY. “Why are you doing this?”. Gourry knows perfectly well Kanzel is trying to kill Lina, he just asks why after Kanzel says that he intends to give Lina a slow and painful death. And he not only asks why, but he also does it with fury across his face. Poor Gourry, he was not prepared to see Lina die, even less to see her die while being tortured!
Also, in the J-NOVEL version Lina is “stung with a terrible twinge of regret”. It looks like she really thought she had a chance of killing Kanzel quite easily. However, by letting him drag them to a clearing with no one around, setting him free to use his full powers, she has not only kind of doomed herself to a certain death (she had underestimated Kanzel), but also doomed herself to a painful and agonizing death at the hands of a crazy mazoku.
The rest of the chapter looks more or less the same in regards to the translation of TOKYOPOP. The only thing that stuck more with me in the J-NOVEL translation, is that Kanzel causing Lina pain lasts for quite a long time. In the TOKYOPOP version I had the feeling, after reading it, that Kanzel shot 4 or 5 magic beams at the most, but in the J-NOVEL version, because of the choice of words and how it’s written, the picture that I got in my head while reading it is that the torture lasted longer. Probably until Lina lost consciousness for the second time, this time longer, and Kanzel stopped with the intention to wait until Lina woke up again to continue with the torture, and that’s when Gourry jumped between her and Kanzel and took her in his arms. I can almost hear Kanzel say to Gourry, while Lina was still unconscious: “Oh… So you are finally going to say your farewells?”.
