What's it like being a father?
"That a loaded question? Look, I know I ain’t winnin’ any awards for father a’ the year or anything, but I’m tryin’ my best. It ain’t as easy as they make it look on tv…ain’t like kids come with an instruction manual, either.
My Pop was so deep in the bottle I can’t hardly conjure a good memory ‘bout him, ‘sides he died when I was little so he wasn’t much of an example for me. Only father-figure I ever really had was Marcus, an’ I don’t mean ta’ sound ungrateful ‘cause I know it wasn’t easy havin’ ta’ step in an’ raise a kid brother he never even wanted, but he didn’t ‘xactly put the parentin’ side first.
I guess what I’m tryin’ ta’ say is I’m kinda’ flyin’ blind here…I don’t know how ta’ be that perfect dad who balances out bein’ fun an’ bein’ strict. I never had that. All I know’s that I suddenly got three little people who need me, an’ I don’t wanna’ let ‘em down. Already missed out on half a’ Scout’s childhood—Arty’s, too. I ain’t real happy ‘bout that, but it is what it is. Best I can do is be there for the rest of it. I want them ta’ have a better life than I did.
But what’s it like? Best way I can describe it’s like watchin’ yer heart walk right out yer’ chest; knowin’ everything ya’ ever thought was important to ya’ ain’t nothin’ compared ta’ sittin’ on the porch playin’ Legos with your kid. It changes ya’, I think.”