The world we knew.
Pairing: Akaashi x gn!reader(kinda feminine themes used but idk)
Warnings: angst, slight nsfw, falling out of love, sorta insecure thoughts from y/n
Word count: 1.4k
author’s note: this idea came into my head after listening to this song on repeat, I literally love it smsmsmsmsmmsmsmsm (also if there are any typos or if I did anything wrong or missed anything pls pls pls pls let me know) anyways, enjoy♡
Now over and over…
akaashi and you had a routine, sort of..a way of life and it was the same thing everyday. you’d wake up, he’d not be there as he had already left for volleyball. professional volleyball of course. you’d clean the house, you’d go run whatever errands you had to that day, you’d come home, you’d cook dinner, you’d wait for him to return home. and when he did you’d eat dinner together in silence, awkward stiff silence. afterward, he’d go get ready for bed as you’d clean up the dinner mess, do the dishes, clear and wash off the counters, and sweep the floors before returning to your bedroom to change into your sleep wear and sleep on your opposite sides of the bed; turned from each other and both drift off to sleep. when you woke up the next morning you’d do it all over again. this constant repetition was driving you insane. and never even barely talking to your boyfriend was slowly wearing down the relationship, you both knew that.
I keep going over…
after a while you decided you were sick of it and you needed to do something about it. it was taking such a toll on you that if you didn’t do something you might just die. you kept going over different ways that could somewhat salvage what you and akaashi had. you kept going over and over different ways to go at the situation, did you have to do gestures for him? you started doing things you usually wouldn’t do for him, like you’d cook his favorite meals, you would take longer to make sure his lunch was perfect, you get his favorite things, you’d offer to massage him but he just refused. and it didn’t work, nothing changed. gifts? you started buying the things he liked, like that new wallet he said he wanted, what? two months ago? you’d buy him his favorite snacks for a little energy at practice. it didn’t work, he didn’t even seem to notice or even care. were you just not pretty enough? you started dressing up more, caking on make-up, wearing skin tight dresses that accentuate your curves, you’d wear his favorite perfume that you owned. but did he care? no, of course not. he was too “busy.” after months of trying things that kept getting no result you began doubting. what were you doing wrong?….did you just have to end it with him? no, you didn’t want to do that. you’ve been together since forever, you’ve been through too much. plus, you love him...right?
The world we knew…
you didn’t understand what changed. you don’t understand what changed. what did you do that made him not love you anymore. it all happened out of nowhere too. one day he just stopped showing affection. one day you guys stopped talking. one day you started sleeping back to back not even baring each other one glance before going to sleep, a whole foot away from one another. one day you’d eat in silence. one day you were basically just strangers living in the same house. you were now just roommates. what happened to the world you knew? the world where he’d hug you to sleep, kiss your forehead every time he came home late because he got caught up in extra training as he’d pull you in by your waist, kissing you deeply, apologizing for making you wait up. and you’d eat dinner together, smiling, talking, you were loving each other. what happened? you missed the world you used to know.
Days when you…
when he would make sweet, passionate, deep love to you on your plush mattress as you’d hold onto him for dear life as he’d lean down to kiss your swollen lips as he’d slow down and release all of his love inside of you. laying next to you he’d smile, looking at you like you have just hung the stars and sky above. when he would come up behind you, sliding his hands around your waist and laying his face in the crook of your neck while you would lather soap on the dirty dishes sitting in your sink while the water ran and quiet classical music playing in the background making him sway his hips with yours as you’d both hum to the music while you finished cleaning up the aftermath of your dinner you had previously eaten together. when he would let you lay on his chest while he’d read his book, rubbing your back as his glasses rested at the tip of his nose, the only light emanating in the room was the dim bedside lamp he had turned on due to the fact that it was so late, he would read to you until you’d fall asleep. when he would take you on morning strolls around the town just to talk to you, ask about your week, holding your hand tightly like he never wanted to let you go, as he did not want that. when you would return he would thank you for “such a lovely stroll” and you would prepare lunch together. why can’t you go for morning strolls anymore? why can’t you just prepare breakfast together. why can’t he hold you anymore?
Used to love me.
he truly loved you, he would tell you everyday, every morning, every afternoon, every evening, every night. he’d show you, he’d do so much just to make sure that you knew that he loved you, just how much he loved you. and he loved you so so very much. why doesn’t he do that anymore? that was it. it was time to end it. he doesn’t love you anymore. the spark is gone and you both could tell. you are both eating in silence when you take a deep breath, finally deciding that it’s time to say it. you have already set up a place to stay, packed your things, now the hard part; actually leaving. “Akaashi.” you’d say trying to sound as less shaky as you could. he’d look up at you before looking back at his plate and saying, “Yes?” he didn’t even call you “love” you take a deep breath. “I think we should break up.” now you have his attention. he looks up at you, looking calm, but you could sense the shock and slight sadness behind his gaze. “What?” you huff before gently placing down your utensils and looking at him. “I’m leaving.” he was calm, but to be honest he was terrified. he knew this is what had to happen but he didn’t want to let go of you yet. “You don’t love me anymore, right?” your gaze stern and serious as you spoke. him now placing down his utensils. “You want to leave?” he was avoiding the question. does he still love you? you quickly shake your doubts about leaving and stood up. this is what had to happen. your love is just simply not there anymore. you hesitate. “Yes, I want to leave. Akaashi, you and I both know that the spark is just not there anymore,” you pause before speaking further “this is for the best.” the tears threatening to fall from his eyes were killing him. “If that’s what you want, then I agree, it’s time we split up, y/n” no. no! you don’t want this. why can’t he just tell you to stay! but, unfortunately it is what has to happen. standing by the door with your suitcase full, your shoes on your feet, your jacket loosely hanging on your shoulders you gaze into his beautiful ocean blue eyes. he still loves you, he just can’t love you. then without thinking you kiss him deeply. tears now not being held back by either of you. you share the most passionate kiss you have ever experienced. after a couple minutes you pull away staring into his eyes once again, tears now rolling down both of your faces, you twist the knob. “Goodbye, Akaashi.” he wants to pull you in, beg you to stay. but he knows it will just hurt you more. “Goodbye, y/n.” you open the door before turning and leaving him, leaving everything you once had together with him behind. leaving the world you knew together, behind. forever.