My boyfriend has this habit of asking me, "What would we be without sex?" & I have a habit of not being able to answer such a question. He searches for a psychological connection, which we have always had, and I search for a physical connection, which we have phases of trouble & doubt. I am bothered that he asks me this question because sex is so unimaginably important to me. Penetration nor clitoral stimulus is what I am talking about either. It is the touch, the breath, the heat, the saliva that I yearn for. I yearn for his hands all over my body, writing a sonata with just his finger tips. He has called me needy before, just once. He says that all I want is sex, nothing more from him, like he is my toy. I absolutely cannot stand it. I don't know what to do & I know exactly what needs to be done. I am just scared. Gahdamned fucking scared.
Okay, let’s be real. He & I used to have this connection within and without the bedroom. It is fading, and darkening at the same time. I love him so fucking much, but I think we’ve come to a stand still.