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[endlesssummerclub]

[crushnewyork]

Online Dating 101 with Nancy Slotnick

NYC is a jungle. Although there is a stigma that comes with online dating, it’s an additional tool. NYC-based professional dating coach Nancy Slotnick says “It’s important to have yourself out there in a number of ways. There is no one right way to do it.” Below are Nancy’s nine tips to successful online dating.

 Be proactive. Similar to Nancy’s tips for regular dating, you need to be assertive.

Be on multiple sites. There are different types of people on different sites. Cast a wide net.

Make the first move. You do this by sending an initial e-mail. Nancy recommends e-mailing 10 guys a week, however, be strategic (don’t send it to any joe shmo).  You do not need to necessarily ask for his number/out on a date but just opening the conversation.

Set up the date ASAP. The longer you linger, there is a big danger of you building him up in your head. Don’t idealize and fall in love online. Solution: set up a meeting early in the process.

Have good (and real) photos. Include both a headshot and body shot. Guys are visual and want to know what you look like. A fun activity is doing a photo shoot with girlfriends to get recent (and legit) pictures.

Send targeted e-mails. Don’t send the same thing to everyone, or just give them a “wink.” Make it specific. Some suggestions include: comment on something specific that caught your eye (not a physical compliment, men don’t want to be compliments on that), say something about yourself (makes you vulnerable) or ask a question (it’s hard to resist a question).

Type like you’re talking. While emailing, talk to them as though you met them at a bar versus online dating speak “check out my profile…”

Have a specific profile. Everyone makes the mistake of being general and saying something like, “I like travel, walks on the beach, music.”  Get specific. Traveling where? What kind of music? What do you read? Give your potential first date something to talk about. Even if he doesn’t like it, he may comment on it and it will strike up a conversation.

Spend 3 hours a week (maximum) on online dating. Includes searching, writing emails, and emailing back and forth. Try to be as time efficient as you can.

So ladies, start typing (and soon, start dating!)

About Nancy: Nancy Slotnick has a B.A. in Psychological Anthropology from Harvard and she is a professional Dating Coach with a list of satisfied clients and hundreds of successful marriages to her credit. She created Drip ®, a coffee bar/dating service, which opened in June of 1996 on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, when she was still single. Since opening Drip, dating and relationships have been Nancy 's primary focus and area of expertise. She met her husband in 1999, and then made it her goal to help others to find the One. She founded Cablight, a brand which offers a range of services and products in the area of Lovelife management. Cablight also produces a DVD documenting her Program to find the One in 6 months or less. She has a treatment for a television series in negotiations currently. She is a natural interviewer, and these skills have been sharpened in her experiences as a matchmaker, headhunter and anthropologist conducting ethnographic studies at Harvard. Her unique blend of fun, hope and vulnerability in the dating process has made her famous and entertaining. Nancy lives in New York City with her husband, psychotherapist Daniel Aferiat, and their son.