It’s here! I’ve finally finished a draft of Small Ponds and thought I’d make it available for anyone who wanted to read!
What is it? A pilot script for an original television series. Small Ponds follows Benjamin Covington as he returns to his hometown for the first time in years to attend the funeral of his childhood best friend. Things are... tense, to say the least. Here’s the tag, if you want to research more.
Sounds cool. Where can I read it? So, since it’s a TV script, the only real way to read/share it is through PDF. I’ve uploaded the PDF to Google Drive, and you can read it by following this link here. (You can also click the gif! Nifty!)
Are you looking for feedback? Yes! But it’s not necessary. You can just read it for you own enjoyment if that’s all you want to do. If you have feedback, though, you can definitely share. I’ll put more about that under the cut.
Anything else? Feel free to reblog this! I just felt like I should say that in case there was any confusion/uncertainty because of the Google Drive link.
Wait, content warnings? You’re right, imaginary other half of this conversation. Things to watch out for: death, heavy discussion of death, mention of murder, homophobic language, mentions of racism/racist language. Also, Ben has a very strained relationship with his parents (due to past abuse, but that isn’t discussed in this episode), so I figured I should mention in case that’s distressing. Fair warning, the episode overall is very somber and dark in tone.
Okay, so about feedback!
I’ve set the sharing preferences of the PDF so that anyone with the link can comment on it, but you can really leave feedback however you want/feel comfortable with. Reblog this post with comments! Yell in the tags! Slide into my DMs! Leave me an ask! Reach out for some other way to contact me! (Discord! Smoke signals!)
What should my feedback be? Anything you want! (I need to stop using exclamation points.) You can just keysmash or curse my name to the wind if that’s all you feel like doing.
Are you looking for anything specifically? Here, have a list!
As this is a TV script, it needs to be visual. One of the biggest comments I used to get in screenwriting classes was that I often wrote things that weren’t visual/able to be shown on screen. With that in mind, is there anything in the script that does not seem to be visual, and is not otherwise serving the tone/voice of the show?
Are you interested? That’s kind of a basic one, but it’s important. Do you want to know more? Would you keep watching?
Do the scenes flow? Are they serving their purpose? Can you imagine watching them one to the next? (You know, like a TV show.)
Grammar? Spellcheck? It’s not of the utmost importance, but if you spot like a minor mistake you can throw it at me. No need to keep like a hawk-eyed watch out for them, though.
I think that about sums it up. Of course, if anything else jumps out at you, let me know.
Okay, cool. I think that concludes this post! Happy reading!
oh i also have a taglist lol @chaos-reign @reeseweston @hawaiianshirt-s @carrotgirl-weeb @anoldfashionedlesbianlovestory
I know, it's just — this place sucks the life out of you. But at least we always had each other. Until I left. And I can't help thinking that's what finally did it. I left her here, and this town killed her.
“I thought this was supposed to be a small get-together,” Monique says as she claims a spot against the wall next to Ben.
"You should see what she’s planning for New Year’s.” Ben takes another swig of eggnog as he looks around his house. Every inch of it is decked out in Christmas decorations, but it’s hard to tell with all the people in the way. The entirety of Lochwood seems to be in his house. Everyone is drinking, and dancing, and chatting, and being merry.
Not to mention eating. There’s enough food in the house to feed... well, to feed a small town.
“Your mom sure does know how to throw a party.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Ben says, taking another drink from his cup. “Hot tip: my Aunt Susan spikes the eggnog at every holiday event.”
Monique quickly disappears into the crowd and returns a few moments later with her own cup. She takes a sip. “I’m not sure there was any eggnog in here to begin with.”
“Exactly.” He taps his cup against hers.
The two stand there for a while, watching the party but never really joining it. Not that anyone is asking them to. Ben spots faces he’s forgotten he knows, neighbors he hasn’t seen in months. They glide by, enchanted by the party.
Eventually, Zach finds them, already with cup in hand. His face scrunches up as he swallows. “This is worse than jungle juice.”
“Jungle juice, huh?” Ben teases.
“College has really changed you,” Monique adds. “Can we ditch this party already?”
“Please,” Zach says at the same time Ben responds, “God, yes.”
They refill their cups before slipping through the crowd and out the front door. “It’s freezing out here,” Monique says, pulling her coat tighter around herself.
“Is it?” Ben asks, leaving his unzipped. “I must be drunk.”
They tread through the snow, laughing at the exaggerated movement it requires. Although it’s been plowed from streets and driveways, the lawns and trees are still covered in white. The blanket reflects the moonlight from above, as well as the holiday lights on houses, making the streets glow warmly.
The town is quiet once they’re away from the party. Everyone is either at Ben’s house or has already gone to bed. The trio jaunt down the middle of the road, singing carols, trying not to go so loud they wake children dreaming of what Santa will have brought them by morning.
Daya’s Diner is dark and empty at this hour, but the outdoor speakers have music coming from them. “She always leaves them on overnight at the holidays,” Ben says.
“Some things never change,” Monique responds.
Ben looks up at the speakers, then out distantly at the town, then back down at his cup. It’s empty. “Yeah,” he says.
Zach starts to drunkenly sing along to the song playing, so Ben and Monique dance around in the snow outside the diner. They all fall over more than a few times, covering their jackets and hair with a light dusting. The only sounds in the world are the music and laughter.
After a while, the alcohol wears down, and a chill sets in. They make their way to the edge of Lake Kingfisher and sit at its shore. It’s not frozen enough to skate on — it never is — but there are sections of ice among the still water.
“I didn’t want to come back here,” Ben says, looking out at the snow-covered trees in the distance.
“Are you glad you did?” Zach asks.
Ben looks at them, his two best friends in the world, and smiles. “This might have made it worth it.”
“You sound like you’re not coming back again,” Monique says.
He sighs, turning back to the lake. “I’ll have to for summer at least. But I’m trying to get an apartment in New York for next year. That way I’ll have my own place, and I’ll be able to come back here only if I want to. I don’t want to feel tied to this place anymore.”
For a moment, Monique’s face falls as she realizes what that means, but she perks right back up to hide any sadness. “Then, I guess I better get out of here soon, too, so you don’t have to keep coming back to visit me.”
“You could come visit me in New York.”
Monique doesn’t respond to that; she’s not one to make promises she can’t be sure she’ll keep. Instead, she pulls Zach and Ben into her. Where Ben’s cheek crushes into hers, he can feel warm tears gliding down her face.
“Hey, there’s no crying on Christmas,” Zach says.
Ben smiles sadly out to the lake. “Some things never change.”
Monique hugs them a little tighter. “Some things do. So much so it’s hard to remember what they once were.”
The wind carries the melody from the diner’s speakers down to them. Around them, the world lies frozen, waiting for a moment to thaw.
When they were younger, Ben and Monique had a dream — to escape Lochwood, the hellhole of a town they called home. Monique had plans to be a star of the silver screen; Ben was more modest in his goal of being a writer.
Lochwood, unfortunately, is a place where dreams go to die.
Now 25, Ben is returning home for the first time in years, and it couldn’t be under worse circumstances. After going missing for almost a week, Monique turned up dead, floating in the lake, scars marring her body. In a town like this, everyone is a suspect without reason, and yet no one is guilty despite proof. It is a town of appearances, of masquerades, where no one can imagine how such a monstrous thing could occur in their peaceful little town, where the monsters usually hide behind the curtain, under the masks.
Not only must Ben confront the death of his best friend, he must also reckon with the demons of his past. Memories he would do anything to forget come back to haunt him. As the first gay person in Lochwood’s history, his youth was a uniquely troubled one, and he is all too aware of the monsters that lurk beneath the surface, protecting their secrets.
It takes one to know one.
What begins as a brief stay to mourn his friend turns into a longer journey to memorialize the one person who deserved to escape Lochwood most. Ben so desperately wants to tell Monique’s story, to have history remember her the way it should — as a star. But years and difficult circumstances change a person, and the Monique he remembers may not be the same woman who wound up dead.
It doesn’t help that her killer seems to be after him next.
here’s the intro for small ponds! i’m gonna tag a couple people that i think were interested: @hawaiianshirt-s @anoldfashionedlesbianlovestory @reeseweston also i hope that anon finds this too lol
idk if i should make like an official tag list for this?? but if you want to be tagged in more small ponds things, let me know! i’ll probably do a post introducing characters once i figure them all out (i have a couple more i need to iron out), and then maybe some excerpts eventually
